I looked for an appropriate thread for this but I don’t think that one exists.
I just need to get this out and vent to people that aren’t connected to me or the situation at all.
Both of my parents died this year.
My mom died suddenly back in March and my dad died just last week.
Shortly after my Moms death I decided to start planning a move across the country. I just wanted to start over.
I had plenty of time to think about it and I slowly started making the steps that were necessary to make it happen.
I broke the lease on my apartment and moved in with a friend so I could put some money away. I had the money and I had a destination and a place to stay when I got there. I resigned from my job last month and started getting my actual move in order.
Then my dad died.
Things became very chaotic in my family very quickly. I have two older brothers and the oldest(45) is a complete mess over the death of my father. He’s shuts out anyone that tries to talk to him. I tried.
I stuck around long enough to make arrangements for my father. I was the only one of us that would step up and take care of it.
Then I decided that it was time for me to get back to what I was doing.
I quietly left my home state to continue with my plan. I drove across the country and made a huge step in what I genuinely feel is right. Right for me and my life and my future.
My oldest brother found out that I left last night and he’s been doing his best to make me feel horrible. He’s telling me that I needed to stay and help him reach some sort of stability now that he doesn’t have my parents. That he needs me.
He’s 45 and he lived with my parents.
He’s been unemployed for years and seemingly had no plans to change it.
He lived as if my parents would be around forever.
Like they could support him forever.
Now they’re gone and he’s looking to his youngest brother to save him.
I can’t do that.
I have my own life and my own plans.
I take responsibility for myself and I work for what I want.
I did what was best for me but I have him basically threatening to commit suicide now.
I do feel a little guilty but I don’t exactly think I was wrong to do what I did.
He has to figure his life out.
Am I a monster?