The Last Crusade of Relationships

[Sloth7d]

No woman or man is going to ask out someone they consider "acceptable", "average", "just fine", etc. People don't tend to settle until they get a lot older or a lot more desperate. But, from my experience in clubs, college, and high school, women approach the guy they do want all the time. Of course, they are usually good-looking and/or confident, so they know their chances are good, contrary to Anubis'... example...

 

[Anita18]

But you take such an extreme example to try to prove your point that it loses credibility.

Most of these so-called "weirdos" I've spoken of in my previous post are perfectly normal or acceptable guys. They aren't grossly fat, aren't socially awkward, aren't even ugly or effeminate. They aren't weirdos in any sense of the word. But many of these girls I'm talking about have such high standards of what they consider to be a masculine man that they don't even give these normal guys a second glance.

And to answer your question: no I wouldn't go out with that young "lady" - not because she's fat, but because you suggested it and your suggestion was so silly and extreme in the context.

I think charisma counts for A LOT. It's something you can't always learn, but when someone's personality is just magnetic, it doesn't matter too much how they look. This goes for both men and women.

I find awkwardness cute, but there's a line between awkward and creepy and some guys can definitely cross it when being a little too earnest, you know what I mean? I think that's what my picky friend is reacting to - she interprets awkwardness as creepiness when I don't think they're the same things.

I mean, when I talk with her about how my relationship is with my bf, she thinks it's adorable and wants something similar for herself. But I'm pretty sure if she were initially courted the way I was, she'd dump him early on for being too awkward/creepy.

 

[Anubis]

But you take such an extreme example to try to prove your point that it loses credibility.

Most of these so-called "weirdos" I've spoken of in my previous post are perfectly normal or acceptable guys. They aren't grossly fat, aren't socially awkward, aren't even ugly or effeminate. They aren't weirdos in any sense of the word. But many of these girls I'm talking about have such high standards of what they consider to be a masculine man that they don't even give these normal guys a second glance.

And to answer your question: no I wouldn't go out with that young "lady" - not because she's fat, but because you suggested it and your suggestion was so silly and extreme in the context.

Sounds like an excuse for being ugly and creepy to me.

 

[Anita18]

A 1.5 ct diamond alone can go anywhere between 12k - 50k depending on the cut/color/clarity. Then when you get to the actual ring, and the depending on the complexity of the design that could add quite a few thousand.

I don't think I went overboard based on most people's conceptions on how much you should spend but she was very happy with it. It didn't hurt that I got the diamond and ring at cost.

Yeah the price was for the entire ring. They did get it done custom (although IIRC it's only engraved on the inside so not tooooooo fancy), but in Taiwan because it was cheaper to do it there. Even when considering someone had to fly there and back to get it because it was too expensive to insure when shipping.

 

[Anita18]

Sounds like an excuse for being ugly and creepy to me.

IMO, most of the confusion stems from not being able to read what's creepy and what's not.

 

[Anubis]

Or! Or. Oooorrrrr, being able to read it just fine.

Maybe them dudes are creepy. Maybe there's a reason why they can't get girls. If a guy looks like he's gonna steal your underwear and send you videos of himself *********ing while wearing them with Goodbye Horses by Q-Lazuras playing in the background, theeeen, chances are, you could be correct. Better to err on the side of caution.

 

[Erzengel]

I think a lot of the confusion is some people have entitlement issues and don't understand what the word "attracted to" means.

No offense to you DR but it's not wrong to have standards. Do some people have have inordinately high standards? Of course, but you seem to paint a broad stroke in terms of women.

I made a comment a while back that it's funny how many women I've seen dating below their attractiveness scale. But who am I to judge? Maybe he's smart, charming, funny or great in bed? Maybe he has money.

But you are almost starting to sound like the so called "nice guys" who complain about being entitled to the cream of crop because they do nice things for girls.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I think a lot of the confusion is some people have entitlement issues and don't understand what the word "attracted to" means.

No offense to you DR but it's not wrong to have standards. Do some people have have inordinately high standards? Of course, but you seem to paint a broad stroke in terms of women.

I made a comment a while back that it's funny how many women I've seen dating below their attractiveness scale. But who am I to judge? Maybe he's smart, charming, funny or great in bed? Maybe he has money.

But you are almost starting to sound like the so called "nice guys" who complain about being entitled to the cream of crop because they do nice things for girls.

Or, god forbid she actually find a man attractive that others might not...

I know I've been attracted to my fair share of females whom my friends wouldn't think much of, and I haven't been attracted to my fair share of females who other men would break their necks to be with.

Hell, the girl in my "circle" that I'm most attracted to is a tall, lankey, dark haired Harry Potter nerd with questionable fashion (sometimes) and scoliosis.

Attractiveness is different from person to person, so I have a hard time making judgment on someone for dating above or below their "attractiveness" scale.

 

[Anita18]

Or! Or. Oooorrrrr, being able to read it just fine.

Maybe them dudes are creepy. Maybe there's a reason why they can't get girls. If a guy looks like he's gonna steal your underwear and send you videos of himself *********ing while wearing them with Goodbye Horses by Q-Lazuras playing in the background, theeeen, chances are, you could be correct. Better to err on the side of caution.

No, I meant the guy not being to gauge his own creepiness. Sorry for that confusion, haha.

 

[Anita18]

But you are almost starting to sound like the so called "nice guys" who complain about being entitled to the cream of crop because they do nice things for girls.

I don't know, once you hit 40 and haven't had any prospects, it isn't all that surprising...

I still think the only solution for DR is to get out of dodge and into like, California where practically nobody cares so much about race (except when you're black and live in Oakland... ). Especially if he's "the other" where he is now, and not exotic in a good way.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think that men underestimate how easy it is to come off as a creep lol. I've literally had to run away from guys that just wouldn't back off and were super creepy/stalkerish. They probably thought that they were plenty "normal."

 

[steintym]

Creepy never knows its creepy ...

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I think that men underestimate how easy it is to come off as a creep lol. I've literally had to run away from guys that just wouldn't back off and were super creepy/stalkerish. They probably thought that they were plenty "normal."

For me I pay close attention to how a girl reacts to my actions.

I admit that I can sometimes be a bit "touchy / feely", even with "just friends", and if I sense even the slightest bit of discomfort from a girl, I back off.

Sometimes, the girls like the attention, and the "touchy / feely" behavior, and reciprocate, and other times I feel like they didn't really like it, so I stop.

 

[Erzengel]

Or, god forbid she actually find a man attractive that others might not...

I know I've been attracted to my fair share of females whom my friends wouldn't think much of, and I haven't been attracted to my fair share of females who other men would break their necks to be with.

Hell, the girl in my "circle" that I'm most attracted to is a tall, lankey, dark haired Harry Potter nerd with questionable fashion (sometimes) and scoliosis.

Attractiveness is different from person to person, so I have a hard time making judgment on someone for dating above or below their "attractiveness" scale.

My point was about "entitlement" but I didn't infer that attractiveness is not subjective.

I don't know, once you hit 40 and haven't had any prospects, it isn't all that surprising...

I still think the only solution for DR is to get out of dodge and into like, California where practically nobody cares so much about race (except when you're black and live in Oakland... ). Especially if he's "the other" where he is now, and not exotic in a good way.

I'm talking about women in their 20s. Really attractive women. And again, not trying to say they can do better and I'm sure that these guys have other things going for them. However, I do often do a double take when I see some of these couples.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Well an "attractiveness scale" infers a lack of subjectivity, at least to some point.

 

[Erzengel]

I agree that everyone has a different opinion on attractiveness but I think there is a general consensus.

Not that it should matter what the rest of the world thinks as long as you are happy.

 

[Anita18]

I'm talking about women in their 20s. Really attractive women. And again, not trying to say they can do better and I'm sure that these guys have other things going for them. However, I do often do a double take when I see some of these couples.

I thought you were referring to Dark Raven starting to sound like he's entitled to something when women aren't attracted to him.

 

[Anubis]

Which would be true.

 

[Erzengel]

I thought you were referring to Dark Raven starting to sound like he's entitled to something when women aren't attracted to him.

I never thought that it was necessarily an age thing for some guys to have that mindset. More along the lines of needing something to blame.

 

[Anita18]

I never thought that it was necessarily an age thing for some guys to have that mindset. More along the lines of needing something to blame.

Sure, but even an optimist would start to have doubts after that long...

 

[Erzengel]

Then should start looking in the mirror.

 

[Anita18]

Then should start looking in the mirror.

Exactly.

Except as we just discussed, it's not usually about looks (unless you're truly hideous but let's be honest, that's not the case for 90% of the population, even here), but about the inability to judge your social prowess.

 

[Anubis]

I was assuming he meant figuratively.

 

[Hound55]

You are so full of s**t.

Tell me something, if this young lady:

Spoiler

walked up to you and asked you out on a date, would you go? You know, just cuz she took the initiative?

I think I have...

Or! Or. Oooorrrrr, being able to read it just fine.

Maybe them dudes are creepy. Maybe there's a reason why they can't get girls. If a guy looks like he's gonna steal your underwear and send you videos of himself *********ing while wearing them with Goodbye Horses by Q-Lazuras playing in the background, theeeen, chances are, you could be correct. Better to err on the side of caution.

I know. Cliched, right? That's why I do it to The Pina Colada song...

 

[Anubis]

Originality is always a turn on.