The Last Crusade of Relationships

[Erzengel]

I think a lot of people have I don't want to say fairy tale outlook of relationships, think there is a certain way one should act. Maybe watching too many romcoms. But the only way to know is how they act after that "honeymoon" stage.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I'll try. When someone does all these incredibly romantic things and talks about finding the one. I sometimes wonder if they're doing these romantic things because they're truly romantic or just desprate to fimd someone and settle down.

I think that depends on the originality/sincerity of said 'romance'.

Basically, is he just full of insincere cliches and tired and worn out traditionally over used romantic gestures just because that's how he thinks that's how you win a woman over.

Or is he genuinely meaning every word he says and coming out with spontaneous and sincere romantic gestures?

It's usually pretty easy to tell the guys who are genuine romantics from the ones who try and use romantic cliches to woo a woman because their desperate.

And yeah, it's a total put off btw guys. That's why the whole notion of romance is dying... cause people are faking it so often, as though it's a fast track to love or something.

 

[Anita18]

How does one know if someone is romantic or just desperate?

If someone is truly romantic about you, he pays attention to what you like and is overall considerate to your personality.

If someone just checks off all the fairytale, romcom boxes hoping to get one right, that's desperate. I think it's romantic that my bf doesn't get me flowers anymore, after I told him I didn't like them much.

Reminds me of my parent's old dog. When we had a treat in hand, he wouldn't wait for a command - he'd do ALL the tricks he knew at once. Shake, sit, down, rollover. I mean, the potential command was bound to be one of those, right?

 

[DV8]

Is perfume "the" gift?

Perfume has the potential to be an awful idea unless you have an idea of what she typically wears. Anyway to find out her preference?

it doesn't HAVE to be perfume . . . I thought it was a "safe" choice though; like I said, she is a typical "girly chick" and I don't think there's a need to mess with a time-tested classic gift . . . I do have some time to gauge her taste in perfume too . . . her birfday isn't til the end of March

 

[DV8]

I'll try. When someone does all these incredibly romantic things and talks about finding the one. I sometimes wonder if they're doing these romantic things because they're truly romantic or just desprate to fimd someone and settle down.

I would be weary of the "overly romantic" acting dude . . . this is a red flag for a guy to become clingy, or just try to get into your pants and then turn into an ******* . . .

if this is the older guy you've been seeing, I think that older guys aren't schooled in today's dating environment . . . I prefer to be my ******* self to start with, and sprinkle the sweetness in sparingly . . . works much better that way

 

[terry78]

Clingy dudes that are always available is basically vagina repellent.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

I prefer to be my ******* self to start with, and sprinkle the sweetness in sparingly . . . works much better that way

Clingy dudes that are always available is basically vagina repellent.

These statements are SuperMike approved.

 

[Lily Adler]

Based on what you guys are telling me. I can now see he is a genuine romantic. Which both thrills and terrifies me since I'm mostly the 'Cynic of Romance' .

PS: Excuse the typos in my last post, I hate posting on my phone...

 

[Anita18]

Based on what you guys are telling me. I can now see he is a genuine romantic. Which both thrills and terrifies me since I'm mostly the 'Cynic of Romance' .

PS: Excuse the typos in my last post, I hate posting on my phone...

What's the alternative? Being a jerk to you?

 

[Lily Adler]

It's an alternative I've grown accustomed to.

 

[Anubis]

I remember I was having a conversation with this chick I grew up with about how people are basically attracted to their parents. She's like, what? And I'm like, well, think about it. This guy you're currently with. Cheats on you, treats you like s**t, makes you pay for everything, you know, pretty much like every dude you've ever went out with.....right? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, Okay, and is it not true that your dad was a cheap ass sonofab***h who fathered you and your brother out of wedlock with your mom, while he was still married to another woman with 3 other kids? And she's like.........Yes.

So I'm like, basically, you are attracted to guys who remind you of dear old dad. Just like I'm attracted to bossy, cruel, and often times violent women/ladyboys cuz of my mom.

 

[Anita18]

I remember I was having a conversation with this chick I grew up with about how people are basically attracted to their parents. She's like, what? And I'm like, well, think about it. This guy you're currently with. Cheats on you, treats you like s**t, makes you pay for everything, you know, pretty much like every dude you've ever went out with.....right? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, Okay, and is it not true that your dad was a cheap ass sonofab***h who fathered you and your brother out of wedlock with your mom, while he was still married to another woman with 3 other kids? And she's like.........Yes.

So I'm like, basically, you are attracted to guys who remind you of dear old dad. Just like I'm attracted to bossy, cruel, and often times violent women/ladyboys cuz of my mom.

Yup.

My bf somehow did the opposite - from what I've seen/heard about, his mother is the exact opposite of me in temperament. It probably happens sometimes.

 

[The Squirrel]

Dang it! This girl asked me how my day was yesterday, like a dummy I said, "oh it was fine, I just had one class." But then she said she, "no, for valentine's day." I said, "Oh I didn't do anything." (cause I don't got nobody.) She said, "Really?" In a very surprised tone, with a bit on intrigue in the voice (my opinion), but before I could follow the conversation further we got interrupted by other annoying classmates.

Oh well, I shall note this for future conversations.

 

[HisMagicTrick]

Yup.

My bf somehow did the opposite - from what I've seen/heard about, his mother is the exact opposite of me in temperament. It probably happens sometimes.

I think it goes both ways. People are either attracted to others who are very similar to their parents, or completely different to them.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I remember I was having a conversation with this chick I grew up with about how people are basically attracted to their parents. She's like, what? And I'm like, well, think about it. This guy you're currently with. Cheats on you, treats you like s**t, makes you pay for everything, you know, pretty much like every dude you've ever went out with.....right? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, Okay, and is it not true that your dad was a cheap ass sonofab***h who fathered you and your brother out of wedlock with your mom, while he was still married to another woman with 3 other kids? And she's like.........Yes.

So I'm like, basically, you are attracted to guys who remind you of dear old dad. Just like I'm attracted to bossy, cruel, and often times violent women/ladyboys cuz of my mom.

I always felt this was true.

My dad was a smart, manipulative, cocky guy with a drink problem. And he didn't want a relationship with me.

So I tend to go for smart, manipulative, cocky guys who drink too much and have little to no interest in a relationship with me.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

I think that depends on the originality/sincerity of said 'romance'.

[...] And yeah, it's a total put off btw guys. That's why the whole notion of romance is dying... cause people are faking it so often, as though it's a fast track to love or something.

This. You gotta check if it's the person or mask doing all those gestures. But yeah, often times love and desperation tend to have a thin border. I dunno about you guys but I could've used a little more desperation on my part.

You do stupid things when you're desperate. And when you're in love you should be open to do stupid things.

Reminds me of my parent's old dog. When we had a treat in hand, he wouldn't wait for a command - he'd do ALL the tricks he knew at once. Shake, sit, down, rollover. I mean, the potential command was bound to be one of those, right?

okay maybe not that desperate.

That's why just being your own damn self still makes sense to me. But apparently, from what I read, women will only respond accordingly to certain trends of behaviour

And when you bring in heaps of psychology in the mix, then yeah, it really does generalise the whole deal.

I remember I was having a conversation with this chick I grew up with about how people are basically attracted to their parents. She's like, what? And I'm like, well, think about it. This guy you're currently with. Cheats on you, treats you like s**t, makes you pay for everything, you know, pretty much like every dude you've ever went out with.....right? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, Okay, and is it not true that your dad was a cheap ass sonofab***h who fathered you and your brother out of wedlock with your mom, while he was still married to another woman with 3 other kids? And she's like.........Yes.

So I'm like, basically, you are attracted to guys who remind you of dear old dad. Just like I'm attracted to bossy, cruel, and often times violent women/ladyboys cuz of my mom.

So you're advocating Freud on this. I guess it's valid for a strong majority of people out there.

 

[SpideyVille]

So I've finally decided to grow some balls and hope to ask out the girl that I've been talking about for the past couple of weeks. But my question is how do I phrase it so that I make sure to get an answer instead of one of her flaky answers? I'm not so concerned about her saying yes or no, but rather that she'll give me something a little more indefinite.

I was thinking of saying I want to take her out to dinner this Saturday or something before our show at 8pm (can't do afterward because she has a curfew). Its just the last time I tried to schedule something like that with her, all I got was a "It depends .." kind of BS answer.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

So I've finally decided to grow some balls and hope to ask out the girl that I've been talking about for the past couple of weeks. But my question is how do I phrase it so that I make sure to get an answer instead of one of her flaky answers? I'm not so concerned about her saying yes or no, but rather that she'll give me something a little more indefinite.

I was thinking of saying I want to take her out to dinner this Saturday or something before our show at 8pm (can't do afterward because she has a curfew). Its just the last time I tried to schedule something like that with her, all I got was a "It depends .." kind of BS answer.

If the reponse is 'It depends' then it's a NO that she's uncomfortable coming right out and saying.

If someone you quite like asks you out, you say yes. End of. Unless your playing stupidly hard to get, though usually if someone does that the 'it depends' will have a teasing tone too it

 

[SpideyVille]

If the reponse is 'It depends' then it's a NO that she's uncomfortable coming right out and saying.

If someone you quite like asks you out, you say yes. End of. Unless your playing stupidly hard to get, though usually if someone does that the 'it depends' will have a teasing tone too it

The thing is I didn't ask her out. We've had this thing where she would bother me about teaching her how to draw, and the last time I walked alone with her and asked if we could meet up and do it the next day before rehearsal, she said it depended on when she woke up and got to school and stuff. We talked about it again on Monday and set up a time on Tuesday, but it was right before the opening of our show so things were hectic.

So now I'm deciding to just forget about using the drawing lessons to spend time with her and just asking her out straight up.

 

[WillardNation]

Yes, ask her straight up. Don't leave room for interpretation. Say something along the lines of, "Would you like to go out Saturday night?" or "I would like to take you out Saturday night." Something that she'll know exactly what your intentions are.

 

[Erzengel]

You: What are you doing Sat?
Her: Nothing.
You: Good, I'm going to take you........

 

[Anubis]

Or

You: What are you doing Sat?
Her: I gotta take my mom to dialysis and then....
You: F**k that, I'm taking you out to dinner, and wear something hot.

 

[Erzengel]

And easy access.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

 

[Lily Adler]

So has anyone experienced 'the song' that one song that captures the perfect moment in a couple's relationship? Also known as our song.