The Lord of the Advice: The Two Towering Relationships thread

[Godzilla2000]

I am quite disturbed by a certain someone who shall remain nameless. Apparently he's been spreading lies that I am of loose character and like to hop into bed for casual sex which is so far from the truth it borders upon delusional thinking that he honestly thinks I am this way and that I buy into the whole exceedingly meaninglessness of casual relations with men I don't even know. It's almost like he's doing everything in his power to prevent me from having a sustained, normal, loving relationship with just one man. I'm guessing he's much too wrapped up in some fantasy version of me that doesn't exist, but he's bound and determined to force it to exist because he thinks there's this concept of us, which has never existed in any form in any space of reality. But I've been refused to give in to such small minded thinking from him and others of his ilk. I have my standards and I'm not willing to compromise any of them for a cheap, unstable, unsustainable, unfulfilling thrill.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well I've slept with plenty of guys casually, had a heck of a lot of fun and closeness with people I knew well, and some I barely new at all.

But you have your principals. And I'm sure they make you much happier.

FYI, there is a difference between 'principals' and excuses you tell yourself for why you're alone. Admittedly, it is much easier to tell yourself it's everybody elses fault, and you're just being strong.

But EVERYBODY could stand to change a few things about yourself. And after reading as many posts from you as we all have, I'd say the best place for you to start would be your 'principals' I.e. your ego, judgemental attitude towards certain behaviours/types of people and stubborness of opinion.

Cause they aren't doing you any favours. They are making the people in your life uncomfortable, and that is making you in turn feel like they are all plotting against you, *****ing about you or spreading lies behind your back.

Just try and be a little less uptight. It's a harsh piece of advice, but it's all I got.

 

[Anita18]

I'm not of "loose character" at all, and I'm absolutely willing to admit I have some fairly strong principles.

The difference is that I'm not judgmental of other people's behavior and I laugh things off, instead of assuming everyone's out to get me.

 

[Erzengel]

I'm a great judger. I have judged all of you on a scale of 1-10.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I'm not of "loose character" at all, and I'm absolutely willing to admit I have some fairly strong principles.

The difference is that I'm not judgmental of other people's behavior and I laugh things off, instead of assuming everyone's out to get me.

Yeah me too. People seem too self interested, and unmotivated to truly f*** with me. Funny enough I'd blame laziness more than a 'lack of attraction', 9 times out of 10. Some people just kind of stick in neutral, and need a push to move into gear. I'd love having a supervillain. It'd be predictable, and I'd have that one person who just devoted every waking second to me. Foregoing showering, figuring out good ways to keep an income, calling their mother and just focus on me. So I'd really always know of their plans. I'd start f***ing with that person and feed them bad information about my whereabouts. Then they'd get all mad and try to find me and I'd be like "pfft whatever, I changed my mind and came here instead". Eventually they'd start just being desperate for attention. They'd offer anything just to see and talk to me for a while. Hilarity would ensue

 

[Schlosser85]

I am quite disturbed by a certain someone who shall remain nameless. Apparently he's been spreading lies that I am of loose character and like to hop into bed for casual sex which is so far from the truth it borders upon delusional thinking that he honestly thinks I am this way and that I buy into the whole exceedingly meaninglessness of casual relations with men I don't even know. It's almost like he's doing everything in his power to prevent me from having a sustained, normal, loving relationship with just one man. I'm guessing he's much too wrapped up in some fantasy version of me that doesn't exist, but he's bound and determined to force it to exist because he thinks there's this concept of us, which has never existed in any form in any space of reality. But I've been refused to give in to such small minded thinking from him and others of his ilk. I have my standards and I'm not willing to compromise any of them for a cheap, unstable, unsustainable, unfulfilling thrill.

The more incessantly you spew forth all your personal problems, and the more new problems crop up for you with every single passing day, the harder it is to believe a word you say about anything.

Which is more likely, everyone you've ever been acquained with in your life is out to get you, or you're paranoid?

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I'm a great judger. I have judged all of you on a scale of 1-10.

What's my number?

Before you answer that, did I ever tell you how much of an awesome poster I think you are?

 

[The Guard]

42.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I'm a great judger. I have judged all of you on a scale of 1-10.

A 1-10 scale cannot accurately judge one such as me. Thus, whatever your rating is, is not accurate.

However, you can at least make an attempt and call it a 10

 

[hopefuldreamer]

42.

On a scale of 1-10?

Though i'd be chuffed if the meaning of life is... ME!

 

[Anubis]

A 1-10 scale cannot accurately judge one such as me. Thus, whatever your rating is, is not accurate.

However, you can at least make an attempt and call it a 10

Or -6

 

[The Guard]

Though i'd be chuffed if the meaning of life is... ME!

Exactly.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Jinogua, or now her new name Godzilla2000, reminds me of this guy:

http://www.relationship-forums.com/showthread.php?t=34520
http://www.relationship-forums.com/showthread.php?t=34874

In the way that they just don't listen, don't seem to take information too well, and at times, doesn't even seem like they want advice. In fact, I think they'd be perfect for each other. How can we make this happen?

 

[Godzilla2000]

I am a bit frustrated today. I feel like I'm being subliminally communicated with by a crush and it's bothering me. Basically I feel like, by not coming to me in person and just talking with me A.) They're trying to deceive me. B.) They're too embarrassed to be seen with me. Yes, the person could be shy, but I've had my mind messed with by ignorant people so much for so long that any hesitation has been construed by me as more of the same.

Also, I am hesitant to commit to any definite type of answers because I need 100% ironclad, inescapable reassurances that I can be free to think, say and do whatever I want to with no repercussions just as I've been able too do since birth. You cannot just go changing what I'm quite used to and expect me to be alright with it. Also one might be lovesick, but I am safetysick, meaning any sign of danger from people and i will shy away, like a stray cat that has been abused. Yes, there are all kinds of people out there in the world, but I don't want to be around all of them, especially not the sorts of people who are unstable and dangerous. I'd rather live the rest of my life alone and safe than be with someone and worry about being harmed or getting killed every second of the day.

I also want to hang around people that respect and value my privacy, who don't snoop and don't snoop and don't exploit me in front of total strangers. For instance, I consider anyone trying to watch me bathe as a creep and a pervert. That is a privilege only the man I'm in a serious relationship with is deemed worthy to see. Privacy and people staying out of my business and not poking their nose into every aspect of my life is what I cherish the most. I especially expect this to be enforced by the man I'm dating and married to. How can I feel safe if I am always feeling naked and vulnerable all the time, sometimes in a literal sense?

Overall, if this individual were to actually start a dialogue with me face to face instead of all this subliminal crap then maybe we could at least come to an understanding about a lot of things. If I don't hear from the horse's mouth, for the sake of normalcy I'm more inclined to ignore it and retreat to where I feel safest.

 

[Anita18]

I am a bit frustrated today. I feel like I'm being subliminally communicated with by a crush and it's bothering me. Basically I feel like, by not coming to me in person and just talking with me A.) They're trying to deceive me. B.) They're too embarrassed to be seen with me. Yes, the person could be shy, but I've had my mind messed with by ignorant people so much for so long that any hesitation has been construed by me as more of the same.

Let's clear something up - you have a crush on him....but does he have a crush on you?

I also want to hang around people that respect and value my privacy, who don't snoop and don't snoop and don't exploit me in front of total strangers. For instance, I consider anyone trying to watch me bathe as a creep and a pervert. That is a privilege only the man I'm in a serious relationship with is deemed worthy to see. Privacy and people staying out of my business and not poking their nose into every aspect of my life is what I cherish the most. I especially expect this to be enforced by the man I'm dating and married to. How can I feel safe if I am always feeling naked and vulnerable all the time, sometimes in a literal sense?

OTOH, I wish my fiance would open the damn bathroom door when he showers/bathes, because we don't have a fan and bugs fly in when we open the windows. Less mildew!

Also, shared baths is probably a no-go with you then, even with someone you'd see naked all the time?

Overall, if this individual were to actually start a dialogue with me face to face instead of all this subliminal crap then maybe we could at least come to an understanding about a lot of things. If I don't hear from the horse's mouth, for the sake of normalcy I'm more inclined to ignore it and retreat to where I feel safest.

Again, reiterate question about who's got the crush on who. If you have a crush on him but there's no sign of reciprocation, he probably doesn't feel the same way about you, so it's not fair putting those thoughts in his head.

 

[enterthemadness]

I'm starting to read Jin's posts in Sheldon Coopers voice from big bang theory....

 

[Godzilla2000]

Here's a hot topic of debate in the Love and Relationship category: A Man's right to choose becoming a father. I feel very strongly about this subject, and I think that men should have the right to decide that their baby is brought to full term and they have full custody of him or her. I think it is exceedingly selfish for a woman to kill her unborn child when the father of the baby wants to raise the child himself as a single parent. It's not like after the child is born the father will force the woman that doesn't want children to be forced into raising it. I've just watched way too many videos of grieving fathers who had their futures, their legacies snatched away from them in utero by cold hearted women.

 

[Hound55]

It's not the man's choice because it's not the man's body...

Would you like to be forced to carry a foetus you don't want to term and then go through the pains of childbirth and the irreversible havoc it wreaks on your body..?

 

[Anita18]

It's not the man's choice because it's not the man's body...

Would you like to be forced to carry a foetus you don't want to term and then go through the pains of childbirth and the irreversible havoc it wreaks on your body..?

It's a hard topic to talk about but yeah, not the man's body = he can't say what the woman should do during the pregnancy. Fact of the matter is, a man probably shouldn't have sex with a woman if he isn't ready to lose a child by her. Or to raise a child with her, in the opposite case. Pregnancy is absolutely a consequence of sex, and if you aren't ready to face them, you probably shouldn't have sex.

I will say, it's a rare man who's wiling to raise a child ALL by himself though. Very very rare. I know of one, he's an uncle who wanted kids even though his wife didn't want kids. She had two for him anyway. He was the only father we knew of (within our entire circle of family and friends) who changed diapers and bought clothes, while his wife was the secondary parent. He was the most devoted father we knew. But finally he got sick of his wife not pulling her weight as a parent and divorced her.

 

[Hound55]

I am a bit frustrated today. I feel like I'm being subliminally communicated with by a crush and it's bothering me. Basically I feel like, by not coming to me in person and just talking with me A.) They're trying to deceive me. B.) They're too embarrassed to be seen with me. Yes, the person could be shy, but I've had my mind messed with by ignorant people so much for so long that any hesitation has been construed by me as more of the same.

This is half a step away from rapist/serial killer thought...

 

[SymbioticToxin]

It's not the man's choice because it's not the man's body...

Would you like to be forced to carry a foetus you don't want to term and then go through the pains of childbirth and the irreversible havoc it wreaks on your body..?

I half agree. It's not the man's body, so it's not entirely his choice of what happens to the child. But aborting it should be the last option and they should at least 'slightly' agree with what to do. But this isn't the place for that.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

God does no one else have any love problems apart from Jin?

I mean, it's fascinating reading in a morbidly curious way, but it's sad that the incoherent ravings of a paranoid dellusional who refuses to respond to anyone's advice, are derailing this entire thread...

 

[Hound55]

Recently, I've found that I'm too loveable.

Is this merely the side-effect of my over-powering awesomeness or do you think there are cosmic witches at play?

Thoughts*?











*Don't bother, I don't intend to read them or reply

 

[SymbioticToxin]

I'm sure it's Cosmic Witches, Hound. They're up to their old cosmic tricks, as usual.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

God does no one else have any love problems apart from Jin?

I mean, it's fascinating reading in a morbidly curious way, but it's sad that the incoherent ravings of a paranoid dellusional who refuses to respond to anyone's advice, are derailing this entire thread...

My girlfriend still isn't putting out.

That's all I got.