The Lord of the Advice: The Two Towering Relationships thread

[Anita18]

Anyone in a long term relationship ever get bored of sex after awhile? I think my girl and I need to spice things up. It's been a few months and I just don't really have the urge anymore.

A few months is really not a long time, dude.

Iono, bring up trying something different? The bf and I definitely have our preferences, but we have a list of things to do if the mood strikes us.

 

[Figs]

A few months is really not a long time, dude.

Iono, bring up trying something different? The bf and I definitely have our preferences, but we have a list of things to do if the mood strikes us.

Not sure what you mean by not a long time, but just in case, I meant it's been 3 months since we've had sex. We've been together for 7 years.

 

[The Squirrel]

Maybe the relationship has just matured?

 

[Anita18]

Not sure what you mean by not a long time, but just in case, I meant it's been 3 months since we've had sex. We've been together for 7 years.

Ahhh, from your wording it seemed like you'd only been having sex for a few months.

I dunno, I feel a serious conversation is in order. Maybe both of you is waiting for the other to do something? Or is sex with her just not interesting to you anymore, for whatever reason. Does she feel the same? Are you interested in sex at all?

If both of you are happy with the way things are, then more power to you. Just because other people say you should be doing something doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you aren't. But if you want something to change, you need to talk to her.

 

[Erzengel]

Not sure what you mean by not a long time, but just in case, I meant it's been 3 months since we've had sex. We've been together for 7 years.

Have you tried toys? Different locations? Positions?

 

[Figs]

Maybe the relationship has just matured?

Ahhh, from your wording it seemed like you'd only been having sex for a few months.

I dunno, I feel a serious conversation is in order. Maybe both of you is waiting for the other to do something? Or is sex with her just not interesting to you anymore, for whatever reason. Does she feel the same? Are you interested in sex at all?

If both of you are happy with the way things are, then more power to you. Just because other people say you should be doing something doesn't mean there's something wrong with you if you aren't. But if you want something to change, you need to talk to her.

I think sex just isn't interesting to me anymore. We do talk about it and she's kind of on the same level in a way, but I wonder if she's just saying that. To be honest I'm wondering if my medication killed my sex drive, that's one thing I'll need to bring up to the doctor next time I visit her.

As The Squirell said, I think I just matured to that point where I don't need sex to make me happy.

I originally asked because I wondered if other people in long term relationships felt the same way at all.

Have you tried toys? Different locations? Positions?

We've definitely tried a **** ton of positions over the years and we have had sex in the past in a few areas outside our bedroom to put it simply. Never tried toys before though, I don't think she's ever been interested in those.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Medication can definitely be a factor. But I think it's fairly natural for sex to be less frequent as a relationship gets older.

 

[Anita18]

I think sex just isn't interesting to me anymore. We do talk about it and she's kind of on the same level in a way, but I wonder if she's just saying that. To be honest I'm wondering if my medication killed my sex drive, that's one thing I'll need to bring up to the doctor next time I visit her.

As The Squirell said, I think I just matured to that point where I don't need sex to make me happy.

I originally asked because I wondered if other people in long term relationships felt the same way at all.

We've definitely tried a **** ton of positions over the years and we have had sex in the past in a few areas outside our bedroom to put it simply. Never tried toys before though, I don't think she's ever been interested in those.

I'm not sure if anyone here has been in a relationship as long as you have.

And yeah, medication can absolutely be a factor. My bf is 30 and he still wants to get some pretty frequently. I'm not sure how old you are, but it isn't like only 17-y-o's are horndogs.

Having sex less frequently is probably normal, but again, it really depends on how happy you both are in such an arrangement.

And maybe if you wanted to spice things up, see if she's changed her mind a little about toys. Sometimes you change your mind about things like that.

 

[WillardNation]

There was way too much in the past few pages for me to read but I'd like to go ahead and jump on the "Nell should buy a hooker" bandwagon.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

There was way too much in the past few pages for me to read but I'd like to go ahead and jump on the "Nell should buy a hooker" bandwagon.

I'm just going with this one. It can't be this hard. He needs to release the anxiety.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I'm just going with this one. It can't be this hard. He needs to release the anxiety.

Nobody has anxiety about this except you guys. I'm fine. I seem to be taking my break up better than this thread is. I'm only answering questions that people are asking, nothing that I've talked about the last page or 2 is any kind of complaint.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Andy Dick can get laid. Andy Dick.

 

[Anita18]

Andy Dick can get laid. Andy Dick.

I'm pretty sure Andy Dick doesn't care where he sticks it in.

 

[SpideyVille]

Nobody has anxiety about this except you guys. I'm fine. I seem to be taking my break up better than this thread is. I'm only answering questions that people are asking, nothing that I've talked about the last page or 2 is any kind of complaint.

I can just picture people freaking out and making arrangements while Nell is just standing there cool, calm and collected.

 

[Erzengel]

Honestly, I know we are in a superhero message board, but shouldn't sleeping with a girl in college be like falling off a camel and hitting sand?

 

[Anubis]

Apparently not.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

He knows because he literally told her he had a crush on her and she turned him down... how was that not clear?

Being down on yourself and always thinking people aren't interested in you without any real evidence is bad sometimes... i'm very guilty of it myself.

But it's equally bad to keep trying with someone who has flat out turned you down. You're only gonna come across kind of stalkerish and probably loose you're friendship with the girl.

*coughs* guilty *coughs*

And yeah, if it's clearly laid out, backing-the-hell-off is what would be considered as normal.

Honestly, I know we are in a superhero message board, but shouldn't sleeping with a girl in college be like falling off a camel and hitting sand?

Depends on the college... and the girl, considering that the superhero-guy is interested in sleeping with the girl in the first place. No dude, it isn't simply that easy, if that were the case there wouldn't be books, websites, and badly-made-film-genres dedicated to that very subject. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's certainly not as easy as falling off in the desert.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Andy Dick can get laid. Andy Dick.

Well when I begin to envy Andy Dick, then perhaps I'll look into a prostitute.

 

[Anubis]

I don't know man, Andy Dick is sexy as hellz.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

So I came across this while reading up on ancient symbols for class...

Masks - There are women who, however you may search them, prove to have no content but are purely masks. The man who associates with such almost spectral, necessarily unsatisfied beings is to be commiserated with, yet it is precisely they who are able to arouse the desire of the man most strongly: he seeks for her soul - and goes on seeking (Friedrich Nietzsche).

Why is the Lady so Sexy?

 

[Anubis]

Nietzsche died from Syphilis.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Honestly, I know we are in a superhero message board, but shouldn't sleeping with a girl in college be like falling off a camel and hitting sand?

Some people aren't even allowed near the camel.

 

[Erzengel]

Depends on the college... and the girl, considering that the superhero-guy is interested in sleeping with the girl in the first place. No dude, it isn't simply that easy, if that were the case there wouldn't be books, websites, and badly-made-film-genres dedicated to that very subject. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's certainly not as easy as falling off in the desert.

Getting into a relationship is probably not that hard but sleeping with someone in college? Not as hard as people are making it out to be unless they are some sort of social pariah.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Depends on the college... and the girl, considering that the superhero-guy is interested in sleeping with the girl in the first place. No dude, it isn't simply that easy, if that were the case there wouldn't be books, websites, and badly-made-film-genres dedicated to that very subject. I'm not saying it's impossible but it's certainly not as easy as falling off in the desert.

There's not, like, one girl in existence. It doesn't depend on the girl or the college, it's entirely dependent on the dude who is making it way too hard on himself. I mean Erz is right, outside of being a total social pariah (and the emotion of "pity" exists, so even that's questionable), getting laid is pretty easy. Getting a date is easy. I swear I could pass out in my gym and wake up an hour later with numbers written on my forearm.

This whole wave of PUA nonsense is just capitalizing on ignorance really. Mystery, Style, and all these other Casanova (Casanova, ironically is a person who scammed MEN for money, not women as popularly assumed) types are con artists. Their method has no scientific backing.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

There's not, like, one girl in existence. It doesn't depend on the girl or the college, it's entirely dependent on the dude who is making it way too hard on himself. I mean Erz is right, outside of being a total social pariah (and the emotion of "pity" exists, so even that's questionable), getting laid is pretty easy. Getting a date is easy. I swear I could pass out in my gym and wake up an hour later with numbers written on my forearm.
.

That's just a whole lot of nonsense right there.

Getting laid is easy if you're:

1. Good looking
2. Confident
3. In a lot of 'easy to pick up' social situations
4. Sexually experienced/casual

And what if you are none of those things? Then getting laid becomes difficult.

You have such a dismissive attitude. Like, if it's easy for you, it must be easy for everybody.

I mean, I have no idea if you're attractive or not, but I can say for definite that you hit the other three points on that list. And that's why you have no problem.

Me, I don't have a problem either. If I'm a) completely drunk andd full of dutch courage b) at a party/club/pub c) wearing a low cut top (because I have good boobs) and d) completely lowering my standards/seeing through drunk goggles...

But that's precisely why I don't have a lot of sex

Just because something can be easy, doesn't mean the easy way is the best way to do it.

Nell isn't that confident about picking women up. He isn't casual about sex (obviously, if he is trying to make his first time something special) and it doesn't sound like he's a party head whose often in clubs or at parties getting his drunk goggles and dutch courage on.

He's trying to pick up girls that will eventually sleep with him, full of self doubt, completely sober, and in everyday situations like work.

So no... It is not easy for him to find a girl to sleep with that way.

It'll take some effort!