The Official "Ask A Brotha" Thread - Part 2

[Lencho01]

There are similarities between the white men who go to Eastern Europe to find mail order brides and black men who go to Brazil. You find men who could be described as betas and others who seem predatory complaining about the independent woman in America. The betas are probably not able to get women who meet their physical standards in the USA so they seek desperate foreign women who are attractive and younger. The predators enjoy that desperation as well since it gives them the power over younger, beautiful women they don't have in the U.S..

But how much of this is shallow and exploitative and how much is reasonable?

If I gave a normal looking guy with a normal job the choice between young, beautiful, exotic women who will treat him like an king and an older, less attractive women who will treat him like a scrub can you really blame him for buying the plane ticket?

Are normal guys supposed to simply accept their low standing in America and deal with attractive women and even normal women treating them like scrubs?

I admit, neither is the ideal situation but it's kind of unreasonable to shame normal guys for wanting to feel like kings once in their lives.

And let's not forget older women also travel to poor countries to get treated like royalty physically and emotionally. Should they be shamed for it?

Most American men aren't going to treat these older women with the whirlwind romance and royal treatment they always dreamed about. Why would these same men shame these women for seeking it elsewhere? Ditto for people looking down on guys who go overseas to live their fantasies.

Isn't it reasonable to seek out better treatment and more desirable companionship even if everyone tells you you don't deserve it?

Ah, yes. I forgot about the guys going to Europe. I don't remember the name, but I saw a documentary on Netflix about this company that sets these party events where guys can mingle with ladies and then see whereever that goes for them. Those men seemed like guys who just couldn't find anyone. I don't remember them being as dismissive about White and/or American women. It was a pretty good watch too. Some found nothing, some found love, and some got duped. I'm still trying to find the title (EDIT: Here it is... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3249478/reference).

I would say it depends on the reasons given. Most of the people in the documentary came off as shallow.

The choice is obvious, but we also have to remember it's not that cut and dry. At the same time, what are those people looking for? Are they actually looking for relationships or just someone to have sex with and is a little bit more easygoing?

I don't look at it as just accepting women treating them as scrubs. I think everyone should demand respect from those around them. So, if their wives/girlfriends/whatevers aren't respecting them for who they are, it's probably best to move on.

Wanting to be treated like a king is ok I guess if that's your view on how women should treat their men. Whenever I hear things like that, it feels more like they want someone to be subservient. But, they should be willing to treat the ladies as queens. Tit for tat and all that.

Yeah, women do it too. But, maybe they don't get called out on it as much since they're women and they don't advertise their hate for Black and/or American men?

I think it would just be easier if neither group bad mouthed the other and just left it at saying that the men or women they dealt with just didn't work out, they feel their chances of finding what they want are low, so they're looking for it elsewhere.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

Ah, yes. I forgot about the guys going to Europe. I don't remember the name, but I saw a documentary on Netflix about this company that sets these party events where guys can mingle with ladies and then see whereever that goes for them. Those men seemed like guys who just couldn't find anyone. I don't remember them being as dismissive about White and/or American women. It was a pretty good watch too. Some found nothing, some found love, and some got duped. I'm still trying to find the title (EDIT: Here it is... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3249478/reference).

I would say it depends on the reasons given. Most of the people in the documentary came off as shallow.

The choice is obvious, but we also have to remember it's not that cut and dry. At the same time, what are those people looking for? Are they actually looking for relationships or just someone to have sex with and is a little bit more easygoing?

I don't look at it as just accepting women treating them as scrubs. I think everyone should demand respect from those around them. So, if their wives/girlfriends/whatevers aren't respecting them for who they are, it's probably best to move on.

Wanting to be treated like a king is ok I guess if that's your view on how women should treat their men. Whenever I hear things like that, it feels more like they want someone to be subservient. But, they should be willing to treat the ladies as queens. Tit for tat and all that.

Yeah, women do it too. But, maybe they don't get called out on it as much since they're women and they don't advertise their hate for Black and/or American men?

I think it would just be easier if neither group bad mouthed the other and just left it at saying that the men or women they dealt with just didn't work out, they feel their chances of finding what they want are low, so they're looking for it elsewhere.

What are guys looking for? I'd say some guys want sex fantasies with beautiful, young women and other guys want a beautiful young woman to be their girlfriend or spouse. Some guys want both. Overall I'd agree it's shallow but who can judge when most honest men want the same, exact thing.

You say guys who don't feel respected by their current partner should move on. Some would argue that's exactly what these men who go overseas are doing. Many don't make their decision based on a single bad experience with American women but rather a chain of less than ideal experiences.

I agree that some men want a submissive woman when they say they want to be treated like a king. When I use the term I'm referring to the experience or fantasy of having someone pander to your ego, needs and desires. Women and men are both guilty of this fantasy. Ultimately it's selfish but it's probably very common if not flat out universal.

In an ideal world all couples would enter a relationship would agree to treat each other like royalty. But what's more common is arguments over who's cooking dinner, who's doing laundry, who's working more hours, who's spending too much money, etc. Power struggles are almost inevitable as people stop getting pandered to at a certain point in the relationship.

In the end I think everyone should spend a few vacations where they feel like a worshipped rockstar/sex god but at the end of the day people need to accept life is not perfect and if they want people to accept their flaws and serve them then they need to do the same for their partners. Stop expecting young, beautiful people to grovel at your feet beyond a brief moment of glory in a third world country. Find a flawed person to accept your flaws, who sometimes challenges/questions you and live (reasonably) happily ever after.

 

[Lencho01]

What are guys looking for? I'd say some guys want sex fantasies with beautiful, young women and other guys want a beautiful young woman to be their girlfriend or spouse. Some guys want both. Overall I'd agree it's shallow but who can judge when most honest men want the same, exact thing.

You say guys who don't feel respected by their current partner should move on. Some would argue that's exactly what these men who go overseas are doing. Many don't make their decision based on a single bad experience with American women but rather a chain of less than ideal experiences.

I agree that some men want a submissive woman when they say they want to be treated like a king. When I use the term I'm referring to the experience or fantasy of having someone pander to your ego, needs and desires. Women and men are both guilty of this fantasy. Ultimately it's selfish but it's probably very common if not flat out universal.

In an ideal world all couples would enter a relationship would agree to treat each other like royalty. But what's more common is arguments over who's cooking dinner, who's doing laundry, who's working more hours, who's spending too much money, etc. Power struggles are almost inevitable as people stop getting pandered to at a certain point in the relationship.

In the end I think everyone should spend a few vacations where they feel like a worshipped rockstar/sex god but at the end of the day people need to accept life is not perfect and if they want people to accept their flaws and serve them then they need to do the same for their partners. Stop expecting young, beautiful people to grovel at your feet beyond a brief moment of glory in a third world country. Find a flawed person to accept your flaws, who sometimes challenges/questions you and live (reasonably) happily ever after.

Well, it just comes down to the individual. It was one of the issues I had with the documentary. It was as if the men and women were talking about two different things. The men came off more shallow while the women seemed to want a little bit more substance.

Yeah, like I said, I think if either group didn't down talk the other, no one would take much issue with it. Like if there was a Black man and a woman with another race, that's whatever. But, then if it's the same thing while the guy says Black women suck, there will be problems. Same goes for the women.

That's fine. But, like any good relationship, there needs to be some give and take. If it's one-sided or a person feels it's one-sided, that's where the problems begin. As noted earlier in the discussion and somewhat in the video, there's this "single" attitude where people are only thinking about what they get out of it.

Agreed. And this is where communication plays a big part. Both parties have to be on the same page or have some sort of understanding of how things are going to work.

I don't fully agree with the rockstar/sex god stuff. At least not when it comes to already being in a relationship (another issue I had with the video). It all sounds like something to do when you're young/old and single. But, that's just me. I do agree that people need to be more accepting of flaws. They could even try to improve each other's flaws if they thought it would help strengthen their relationships.

 

[chamber-music]

I would like to know where these submissive exotic women who treat men like kings are?

I'm not so sure they exist. I would suspect a foreign woman or man who behaves in such a way is probably after something. I would imagine they are probably gold diggers or green card chasers.

I would think the more recent generations of men and women would want a partner who was their equal rather than subservient to them.

 

[terry78]

There is always an ulterior motive behind that. No woman no matter how third world her country is will be worshipping the ground her man walks on without doing it for some benefit.

 

[PyroChamber]

Here's something I've always wondered, we all know that there are black people all around the world in many countries; but of all of them, are we as black americans considered to be "the worst"?

 

[chamber-music]

Here's something I've always wondered, we all know that there are black people all around the world in many countries; but of all of them, are we as black americans considered to be "the worst"?

I've never encountered any Black Canadians, West Indians, Africans, Black Europeans and so on who consider African Americans to be 'the worst'.

I'm sure there are individuals who look down on others but I've never heard of any particular widespread judgement of American Americans by other black nationalities.

 

[Lencho01]

Here's something I've always wondered, we all know that there are black people all around the world in many countries; but of all of them, are we as black americans considered to be "the worst"?

I wouldn't be surprised if this where the case. I've encountered some Africans who've felt superior to African Americans and vice versa. I've heard similar things about Black Caribbeans doing the same thing. But, where does this all stem from? I would say the media. Just as it has left an impression of what African Americans are like on White people, it's done the same for all races and ethnicities.

But, terms of ranking Blacks in general worldwide, the only time I ever got that impression was from Tiger Mom. I'm pretty sure I posted something about her opinion in one of the old threads.

 

[PyroChamber]

I wouldn't be surprised if this where the case. I've encountered some Africans who've felt superior to African Americans and vice versa. I've heard similar things about Black Caribbeans doing the same thing. But, where does this all stem from? I would say the media. Just as it has left an impression of what African Americans are like on White people, it's done the same for all races and ethnicities.

But, terms of ranking Blacks in general worldwide, the only time I ever got that impression was from Tiger Mom. I'm pretty sure I posted something about her opinion in one of the old threads.

Oh yeah, did she say something about blacks?

 

[Lencho01]

Oh yeah, did she say something about blacks?

Yeah, I looked it up. You actually asked this question before and I used this same link as an answer. t:

Tiger Mom: Some cultural groups are superior

Also, this was posted around the time about African culture appropriation. Though, not exactly the answer you're looking for, I thought it was interesting...

http://thechanelmuse.tumblr.com/post/128465236619/i-honestly-believe-that-the-divide-between-black

http://thechanelmuse.tumblr.com/post/129468266459/now-im-one-of-those-people-that-almost-always

 

[Napoleon]

How true is it that black guys have the biggest ... you know.

 

[PyroChamber]

Yeah, I looked it up. You actually asked this question before and I used this same link as an answer. t:

Tiger Mom: Some cultural groups are superior

Also, this was posted around the time about African culture appropriation. Though, not exactly the answer you're looking for, I thought it was interesting...

http://thechanelmuse.tumblr.com/post/128465236619/i-honestly-believe-that-the-divide-between-black

http://thechanelmuse.tumblr.com/post/129468266459/now-im-one-of-those-people-that-almost-always

I had a feeling I asked this before, but was too lazy to look back.

 

[Lencho01]

How true is it that black guys have the biggest ... you know.

True, if you're into the fetishization of Black men.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

How true is it that black guys have the biggest ... you know.

Well most black guys probably have a normal one but then there's a good number with a horse dong.

Do all races and ethnicities have the same percentage of men with horse dongs?

Based on the porn I've seen from other countries I'd wager "no". But then again that's pure speculation on my part.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

I know some Africans and African Americans look down on each other.

I have a feeling both parties are to blame for this friction.

You have African Americans who make fun of Africans and mock their countries, accent, clothes and culture and then Africans becoming defensive and mocking the lack of ambition, education and success in certain African American circles.

 

[Clark-Kent]

The average size encompasses all races. I've heard black guys annoyed at the myth because they feel they are expected to be big, when most men of any race are actually about the same size. Weird stuff to have to worry about.

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

Here's something I've always wondered, we all know that there are black people all around the world in many countries; but of all of them, are we as black americans considered to be "the worst"?

while in the military and traveling i met plenty of European blacks as well as others from Africa. as well as those from Aboriginal descent in Australia.. and just like everything else!there were good ones and bad ones.. most were totally cool. acutally alot told me that they were afraid as an african American. i would look down on them since as most do in the world,i would judge them by how much stuff they have like cars and houses.that them living modestly would be looked down on upon by me! I was Man!! i aint Steve jobs you know! they were cool and then there were some acted like fools. its the same as anything!

How true is it that black guys have the biggest ... you know.

shhhhhhhhhhh....... but looks around to make sure nobody's listening....its
TRUE!!!
I do have a pretty big comic book collection!... that is what you meant right!?!

 

[Pink Ranger]

shhhhhhhhhhh....... but looks around to make sure nobody's listening....its
TRUE!!!
I do have a pretty big comic book collection!... that is what you meant right!?!

Yeah, but I bet your comic book collection isn't as big after you've been swimming.

 

[terry78]

That's one of things that's a double edged sword metaphorically speaking. Some chicks are just into you for that sole reason but would never dare attempt a serious relationship.

 

[Warhammer]

It would suck if your comic book collection was too big. Some women wouldn't want to read it after they see it. All of a sudden, it wouldn't be awesome to brag about how big your collection is.

 

[BLACKVULCAN]

Yeah, but I bet your comic book collection isn't as big after you've been swimming.

Man come on Ranger! like I'm even going to get WATER next to my Giant SIZE XMEN #1!!
you know how much damn money i had to shell out for that ^&*(*!!
i would think as a fellow connoisseur of comics you would know paper and water dont mix! hehe
...we are talking about comics right?!

 

[the last son]

I'll have to really think about it sometime, but I still say the Nation Of Islam did more good for blacks than bad. They might have been money hungry at the top, but at least some had good intentions and were striving toward giving black people an identity. I wish we had something as strong as it was in the 60s for black people today. Young black need it. Taking their rage and steering it towards our real problems and channeling it for good. History repeats itself I'm sure they'll be a movement as big in the next 20 years.

 

[PyroChamber]

Would it bother anyone if someone said that hip hop culture is black culture? And I don't mean a part of black culture, I mean black culture as a whole; as if hip hop is all we are.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

It would be sad if blacks limited their entire identity to Hip Hop for two reasons:

1) Imagine if all whites limited their entire identity to rock music.

2) Hip Hop today is mostly shallow music about money and hoes. Who wants to be associated let alone limited to that?

 

[PyroChamber]

Sadly this is how many blacks think, young ones at least. And you're right about hip hop it's one of the reasons why I stopped listening to it; hell there are others that use to like the music who have stopped listening to it too.