The Avengers The Official Avengers Caption Thread - Part 1

[ultimatefan]

Bruce Banner: I swear this is the last time I make one of those weird sex toys for my f***ing nympho cousin...

 

[blah]

Stark: Hmmm, I wonder how poor people dress themselves in the morning. You. Poor Person. How do you dress in the morning?
Techie:...Uh, sir... I put the...pants...on?
Stark: PANTS?! Oh, how wonderfully droll!

 

[mc7791]

Banner: Hey guys I have configured this thing to get Directv and all the pay per view channels for free!!

 

[mc7791]

Hulk: On todays menu: Fresh fist, minced face and broken ribs!!
Alien minion: No thanks Im full.

 

[The Infernal]

Bruce Banner: I swear this is the last time I make one of those weird sex toys for my f***ing nympho cousin...

*Tony Stark stares into space with a vacant look on his face*

Banner: No, Stark. I won't give you her number. F*** you.

 

[The Infernal]

Alien: Hulk, don't you think you're a bit old to still be playing with Mr Bo-bo? Perhaps it's time to give him up.

Hulk: Hulk not giving up teddy. HULK SMASH.

 

[Panthro]

Bruce Banner: I swear this is the last time I make one of those weird sex toys for my f***ing nympho cousin...

Bwahahaha

Great stuff guys.

MARK: "Soon my amnesia beam will be complete and the fans will never remember that the much beloved Edward Norton once played Bruce Banner... they'll only remember me!"

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

THOR: "STARK!! This Invisible Hairdryer you have invented!! Doth Astounding!! Mine Locks Hath Not Been So Freely Dried and Still Bountifully Bouncy in Yon Age Undreamt of!!! How Mortal?! How did Thoust invent such a...."

STARK: "Yeah, Thor, I'm gonna need that back, that's just a prototype, they will however, soon be available in shops, although you will have to place an order soon, limited supply."

Months pass....

Storeowner: "I'm sorry sir, but we have no record of an invisible hairdryer for sale. Thank you for your custom."

THOR:"Mortal! Mine custom is to drive yon Hammer into yon face if hairdryer is not produced!! Ahhh, i will go to Stark! Thor hath mercy upon you this day merchant!!"

THOR: "Coulson!! Good old dependable Coulson!! Thine would proveth to be a great help to the god of thunder if thy were to tell me the whereabouts of Stark!! I have need of the mortal's miracle invention...the invisible hairdryer!!!"

Coulson: "Thor...I'm afraid Tony is off-planet at the moment, I'm not sure where he is...you seem quite upset, are you ok!!"

THOR: "Coulson...you may not understand, being an almost bald one, ...but when mine locks are such as the god of thunders...it is a rare opporstance when such a device falls from the heavens...never have mind locks shone such as the day when I used Stark's invisible hairdryer!!"

Cap: "THOR!! BUDDY!! Look what I got..."

THOR: "an invisible hairdryer?...ah, no...

CAP: "Look at this? doesn't it look funny? what a device! you guys have all the best stuff! It's amazing!"

THOR(exasperated): "what is it mortal?"

CAP: " they said it's to inflate a bouncy castle! I have no idea what that is! hahahahahaha But isn't ithis lil device just great?! Just press this lil button, and a lil stream of air comes poopin' out, just like a lil fart machine! hahahahaha
Except it smells like some kind of futuristic fart smell!! Smell it!! *poops air in thor's face* See? Crazy! Whatta smell!


Thor: "It smells like...plastic..."

Cap: "Well, they never had smells like this back in the war lemme tell ya"

Thor: "mortal...have thoust seen any invisible hairdryers on thy travels round mortal merchants?"

CAP: "Hahahahaha...an invisible hairdryer...hahahahaha....good one Thor....so far I've been fooled by tartan paint and solar powered torches ...hahahaha...but guess what buddy! I'm not *that* dumb!!! Invisible hairdryers!!! hahahahahahahahaha!!! You blondes are so dumb!! hahahahahahahahaha!!! Ok, Thor, well, i gotta go.."

Thor: "Your going to buy yon bouncy castle now?"

Cap: "Bouncy castle? hahahahahahaha...what will you guys come up with next?! hahahahahaha...i'm not *that* dumb! Nah, i'm just gonna go home and poop this smell into my face all day! I ain't never seen anything like this! *poop* ahhh, whatta smell!"

THOR: "Coulson!! Any word on stark's invisible hairdryer?!! Has he reported back?!"

Coulson: "eh, thor, we have more important matters right now than..."

Thor: "THOU DOST NOT UNDERSTAND ALMOST BALD ONE!!"

Hawkeye: "Widow..have you spoken to Thor lately..he's been a little..."

Black Widow: "Invisible Hairdryer-y?"

Hawkeye: "Yeah, exactly, a little invisible hairdryer-y...I think nick's gonna have a word with him about it."

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Nick" "Thor...you have to stop bothering the other members of the team looking for this invisible hairdryer you are going onabout...no-one has seen..."

Thor: "Tis an invisible hairdry..."

Nick: "Yes smartypants! I know! but no-one has seen Stark! no-one knows what the hell you are talking about! Stark does not tell us anything about his commercial inventions, shield are not interested in hairdryers, invisible or otherwise!!"

Thor: "Yes, Thor can see why thou dost not care for yon hairdryer...mayhap when a change of management..."

Nick" This has nothing to do with my baldness!! Shiled have no use whatsoever for hairdryers..well, ok, sometimes, yes, but not to the point where we put everything on hold to look for one!! focus thor! Remember what is important to the mission!"

Thor: "Thy words have touched mine heart Fury...Thor shall forget yon hairdryer...thor will attempt to curb his vanity...for 24 hrs...I shall begin by.....STARK!!! IT IS YOU!! WHERE IS THE INVISIBLE HAIRDRYER?!?!?!? Mine Locks could sureth use some of it's dulcet blows today...Ah, it is good to see you mine friend and comrade!!!"

STARK: "Invisible...what? thor buddy, it's great to see you too, but what the hell are you...ah, ok, haha, I remember now, this was th eother week just before i went offworld...buddy i had no idea what you were talking about then either, i was just humouring you..."

Thor: "So... what was it...I...mine hair had never felt such dulcet blows..."

*****PARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP*****

Thor: "It was..mine hair was..blown by...."

Banner: "One anti-Gamma fart ray comin right up Thor!

 

[The Infernal]

Thor: CHEERIOOOOOOOOS! .........Cheerios, Stark. Don't forget mortal, when you're out on your adventure to the local marketplace. Thou dost want Cheerios, not Captain Crunch for breakfast.

 

[Guhndoi]

Redacted: Tag! You're it!
Hulk: Tag! Now you're it!

 

[protocida]

Fist Bump.

The Hulk is doing it wrong.

 

[Panthro]

Bruce Banner: Boy, they're going to love this gadget in Japan for their frequent Godzilla attacks.

Hehehehehe

All this other stuff was great.

 

[Hotwire]

Thor: Nick, hold it man, you told me you served in Nam!

Fury: I did, Saigon.

Thor: Well, how'd you lose your eye?

Fury: Fu**in' 'round the office. We were shooting paper clips at each other, and one of the damn fools hit me in the eye!

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys especially the Godzilla and Nam ones.

 

[ultimatefan]

RENNER: You have to be honest with yourself and your fans, Scarlett, and finlly admit you leaked those naked pics yourself. Nobody buys that "stolen" BS anymore. I don´t think they ever did.

SCARLETT: But you see, we female celebrities can´t admit we leak those naked pics and sex tapes on purpose! We´d come off as attention ****es, and ****es!

RENNER: They were awesome, by the way. I e-mailed them to all my friends, and they almost gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

SCARLETT. Oh, thank you. I needed to hear that. Wanna f***?

 

[mc7791]

Thor: you mean to tell me we have run out of conditioner again? Ok who took the last and did not tell anyone else?

Hawkeye: Are you gonna tell him Widow?
BW: sheesh he is more of a primadonna than his brother. Cant a woman get a good shine in her hair once in a while?

 

[Panthro]

Great stuff guys.

 

[bored]

"Mortals! I demand to view more adventures involving colorful ponies!"

BW: "I told you this would happen."

 

[Lady Marion]

Hehehe

Can't resist, if the God of Thunder wants it:

 

[SaF]

**mutters** God damm it... still no youtube hits... who has 'disney XD' anyway... c'mon c'mon you hunk of junk, find me episode 27!**

 

[mc7791]

Banner: this stupid thing broke again? This is the last time I get something from the sharper image!

 

[ultimatefan]

Isn´t it amazing I can look so powerful and patriotic even as I release a fart cloud that´s more poisonous than carbon monoxide?

 

[Panthro]

Great stuff guys.

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff all around.

CAP: ...and when they do pull your finger, you fart!

HULK: Brilliant!