The Official Superman Reboot Caption Thread - Part 2

[Panthro]

Following his embarrassing loss in the presidential election, Mitt Romney decided to take up superhero cosplay.

SUPERMAN: "How many times have I told you not to troll the forums?"

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "There is an idea that is Superman, some sort of abstraction-"
SOLDIER #1: "Stop That!"

 

[Enriquespy]

SUPERMAN: This movie won't make me a Jesús metaphore, please ignore me being voluntarely captured, the beard, the fish...

 

[Milu]

Superman (thinking): "Must resist urge to act on my rustled jimmies."

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: This movie won't make me a Jesús metaphore, please ignore me being voluntarely captured, the beard, the fish...

 

[elgaz]

"Looks great, doesn't it? Try going to the toilet in it."

 

[The Shield]

Womp, Womp, Womp, Womp!!
Mrs C: Oh honey look its Superman!
Chris: Oh S***... Umm baby, sugar, love muffin...

Chris: Gotta go!

Guards: Light him UP!!!!!

Clark: Where is he...???

Mrs. C: The roof... (so handsome)

Clark: I Knew it!! What you think that's funny?!
Chris: It wasn't my idea! Bruce set the whole thing up. He said it was time you grew up and stop wearing your red briefs on the outside. Said it was the only way He... (POP!!)

Ruddy: Daaaaaaaammnnnn!!!! Chris got Pacquiao'd!

The End.

 

[The Shield]

Where are they.. sniff... I need them...

Martha: I don't know, Son... I'm so sorry. Mommy, just can't find them.

Poppa J: Clark, look, I know how much they meant to you but it's time to move on now...
Clark: I can't Dad. I just can't... I'm going to find out what happen.

Clark: After all this time... I have lead. I know who took them.
Martha: Good luck, Son... Be careful.

Clark: Hmmm.... Fresh tracks...

Clark using x-ray vision...

Clark:Found him! Oh I got you now B****!!

cont...

 

[Panthro]

QUESTION: "Oh hey Bane sorry Talia friend-zoned you like that. Tell ya that was totally not cool dude- OW!"
LEX: "I'm Not Bane! But you do have my permission to die!"

 

[dnno1]

Superman, now, Bane, you should know better than to threaten a city with a nuclear weapon.
Batman: Yeah, that's right. Now, lets go get some coffee.

Superman: And Bats, next time call me when you are in a predicament like this. You see how it almost got you retired. By the way, how's the coffee?

Batman: Ptttttttt! This taste like dirt. Who made this?

Superman: That's funny, it was just ground this morning...

 

[sebialex]

Superman: Are you even listening?

Batman: ...

David: "That's very cool Wayne, but look at this"

Van Patten: "Egg shell, with Romalian type, what do you think?

Bryce: "That is really nice!"
Bruce: "Nice". I can't believe, that Bryce prefers Van Patten's card to mine.
Bryce: "By the way you haven't seen nothin' yet, raised lettering, pale nimbus, white"

Bruce: "Impressive, very nice ... let's see Paul Allen's card"

Bruce: Look at that subtle off-white coloring. (thumping heart beats) The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even has a watermark...

Superman: "Batman?..."

Clip for anyone interested, or haven't seen American Psycho: http://s45.beta.photobucket.com/user/aaronnarmstrong/media/vidz/Screen0303.mp4.html

 

[Panthro]

LOIS: "Who are you?"

CLARK: "Clark Kent, Male Prostitute."

 

[X Knight]

Superman: "So what are they serving for breakfast at the Watchtower today?"

Batman: "Spam."

Superman: "And lunch?"

Batman: "Spam."

Superman: "Dinner?"

Batman: "Spam."

Superman: ".............you're on cooking duty again, aren't you?"

Batman: "I am........"

Superman: "Sigh........all those years wandering the world turning yourself into a badass, and you didn't learn how to cook a proper meal? How did you sustain yourself?"

Batman: ".................Spam."

 

[Panthro]

Heh, Batman and spam...

SUPERMAN: "I feel my mask of sanity is about to sl- oh wait I don't wear a mask..."

 

[dnno1]

[YT]WeWpCJruFlw[/YT]

 

[Panthro]

SUPERBOY: "Can I be in the movies?"
SUPERMAN: "No."

SUPERBOY: "Aren't you Theseus from Immortals? Or one of those guys from the Tudors?"
SUPERMAN: ""

SUPERBOY: "So you had a mullet once."
SUPERMAN: "It was the 90s."
SUPERBOY: "Yeah but still. A mullet?"
SUPERMAN: "Shut up."

 

[dnno1]

Merry Christmas, guys!

 

[Panthro]

Merry Christmas, guys!

And a Merry Christmas to you, dnno1!

WONDER WOMAN: "Hmm... do I want Clark, do I want Bruce, do I want Clark, do I want Bruce... is it too much to have both?"

WONDER WOMAN: "Nope, guess not."

 

[Enriquespy]

SUPERBOY: So, this one time I punched reality so hard that a Jason Todd fell from the hole I made. Can you do that?
SUPERMAN: Shut up.

 

[Panthro]

SUPERBOY: So, this one time I punched reality so hard that a Jason Todd fell from the hole I made. Can you do that?
SUPERMAN: Shut up.

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Okay now you don't drink, which is smart on your part, but being sober can put you at a disadvantage when it comes to violence. Now me, I can't box worth a [BLEEP] see, but I'm good in a fight because I can't feel anything. You? You're gonna feel everything. Okay, now put your dukes up and let me see what you've got."
SUPERBOY: ""

SUPERMAN: "For the last time paper beats rock."
SUPERBOY: "But that doesn't make any sense!"

 

[Thwip!]

 

[Enriquespy]

LOIS: I don't care how people talk to each other in Kripton, we are on earth and my eyes are UP HERE!

 

[Panthro]

^^I never get tired of that gag.

ELECTRIC BLUE SUPERMAN: "Where's the Trigger?! Where is it?!"
LEX LUTHOR: "Why are you impersonating Christian Bale?"

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Conner, I'm not just asking anyone to come on this sacred and holy journey with me. I'm asking YOU to come on this sacred and holy journey with ME. I'm asking you to give up everything you own, everything that defines who you are, to come with me on this sacred and holy journey where you'll face the greatest evil in the known universe, an evil that could very well kill you just by looking at you, because in your heart you know it's the right thing to do. I'm asking you to take my hand and come with me on this sacred and holy journey."
SUPERBOY: "You know, I'm willing to come with you, but I don't want to TOUCH you."
SUPERMAN: "Fine, forget that part."