The Amazing Spider-Man The Spider-Man reboot caption thread

[ultimatefan]

I know it´s early and we don´t have any set pictures of anything, but the reboot is being done and the talk and action is all on these boards now, so let´s have our fun with it:

TOBEY MAGUIRE: Oooh, so the Spíder-Man reboot will be 3-D, woo-f***ing-hoo!! Wanna see 3-D, my hand can go 3-D on yer faces right now, b****es!!

 

[MrSpyder]

That's funny

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks!

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave, WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!!!.....how was that? Now can I have a guest appearance in Iron Man 2?"

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehehe

 

[SPider-T0rch]

Tobey: Why the f*** did you stop at that stop sign and let me hit you doing 80?!?!

 

[ultimatefan]

Poor Tobey, must be the stress from the lack of work...

 

[ultimatefan]

OBAMA: Don´t worry Spidey, if I could spend billions of taxpayers´ dollars to bail out the scumbag investors and bankers who put us in this mess, I can make sure your reboot gets a lot more than measly 80 million dollars! And make it 3-D too!
SPIDEY: Thanks, Mr. president!

 

[ultimatefan]

OBAMA: See, my presidency has even become a pop culture icon! What can go wrong?
SPIDEY: Huh, wait about a year or so before you´re so sure, Mr. president...

 

[ultimatefan]

SPIDEY: Sir, I have inspired generations of people to be responsible and use their powers for good in various medias, so can I ask a favor?
OBAMA: You name it, Spidey? Save the economy? Make peace with the Middle East? Stop global warming?
SPIDEY: Can you make sure neither Zac Efron, Robett Pattinson, Shia LaBeauf or Emile Hirsch get to play me in my reboot?
OBAMA: Gotcha!

 

[ultimatefan]

TONY: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome the director of the Spider-Man reboot, Mr. Marc Webb!

WEBB: Before anything else, I´d like to make clear that these rumors about Zac Efron or Robert Pattinson getting cast as Peter Parker/Spider-Man are complete and utter BS.

TONY: YEESS!!!

 

[OptimusPrime114]

Peep this!

SPIDEY: Robert Pattinson? Zac Efron? Let's face it, the reboot will-

LL: Hi! My name is Logan Wade Lerman a.k.a. Percy Jackson.

SPIDEY: Wait! Logan Wade Lerman? You were named after Wolverine AND Deadpool?

LL: Yep.

SPIDEY: OK!

This is my lame attempt at a caption post.

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehehe, nice!

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "I got screwed out of a billion dollar franchise and all I got for it was this lousy sweatshirt!"

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "My career! My career!"
Disembodied voice: "Hey, what has two thumbs and doesn't give a s***?"

Spidey: "This guy!"

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff Ked!

 

[ultimatefan]

TOBEY: Sam, how the f*** could you abandon the franchise that made me a star to make a damn World Of Warcraft movie?! I thought we were friends!!

SAM: Hey, don´t sweat it, Tobey! I may give you a cameo as a Hobbit, or whatever the equivalent is in WOW.

TOBEY: YOU SON OF A B... Okay.

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "Whad'ya mean I can't play Tevye in a new FotR movie?"

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "I'll swallow your soul!!! Now can I be in the next Evil Dead movie?"

Raimi: "Hmm.....no."

 

[ultimatefan]

Hehehehehe

 

[ultimatefan]

TOBEY: See what ruining my film career has done to me... Death to America!!

 

[Deaths Head II]

"We Have to go back, Kirsten! We have to go back!"

 

[kedrell]

Tobey: "Ho-mutha****in'-ho!"

 

[kedrell]

TOBEY: See what ruining my film career has done to me... Death to America!!

Hehehehe, reminds me of something:

Tobey: "I was just a young star when the infidels came to me with their script treatments for a comic book franchise. The infidels flashed some big cash my way and my eyes lit up like the eyes of Allah. Critical praise rained down from the sky and expanded every ego it touched. I could only roll in my humongous pile of cash as we went commercial. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard some disgruntled fans screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone and I was dumped from the franchise. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too."

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks, great stuff!