The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[hopefuldreamer]

Update: So my friend is now mad at me for not getting involved and saying "you're probably reading too much into it". He's pissed, I feel guilty and now I need to binge on some Skittles and AirHeads.

I'm also kind of afraid he's going to ask the question to his friend and possibly ruin his friendship.

That's ridiculous.

He's mad at you because you didn't tell him not to think something he was thinking, when you had no clue whether it could be true or not?

He was paranoid about his friend. I don't know what he expected you to do about it, but him blaming you for any problem caused by it is just insane.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

So I hooked up with my friend whose been after me for a while last night. And don't get me wrong, it was great, he's attractive and everything...

I'm just kind of sick of being this person though.

Why is it that guys so badly want to be **** buddies with me, and never wanna be in an actual relationship with me?

Other than the ex who slept with men, and a few brief and unmemorable week or two long stints at being someone's 'girlfriend', **** buddies is all I've ever known.

And I just don't understand it.

Do you know, it's been 5 years since I've been in love with anyone?

I used to fall head over heels for people all the time!

A part of me knows that some of that is just growing up.

But then again, most people do have a boyfriend at some point between 20 and 25

Sorry for the pity party, just feeling a bit blue.



I'm going to be honest here - i've given my number to plenty of guys I didn't like, especially if they're drunk and so am I.

I used to think 'Well there's no harm in them having my number', and it's always such an easier alternative than saying 'No' and then having the guy go into a round of drunken begging - 'Oh, why?' 'Your single aren't you?' 'Come on, i'll buy you a drink' nonsense. Sometimes it's just easier. Besides, they rarely ever follow through on it when it's like that.

And sometimes i've genuinely thought they wanted it in a friend capactiy. Like this guy I went to school with and know fairly well was out with me and an old friend a few weeks ago and asked for my number, and I didn't even hesitate to give it to him because I thought he just wanted it for hanging out as friends.

Next thing I know he's texting asking if I wanna go out with him and sending me his entire work schedule so I can pick a day...

Needless to say, I had to do some gentle back pedalling.



That's harsh

Girls a total ***** tease!



Is it weird that I think gay man can be kind of hot. Like that scene in Y Tu Mama Tambien?

Thats cool and all but I feel as though a women should tell a man she is not interested in him if she knows he likes her. This women knew I liked her, and yet told everyone but me she was not interested. She did this to another guy that she know also liked her. I mean christ she had the man give her flowers and a card for her birthday and when his came along she got him ****. If thats not playing head games then I dono what is.

 

[bullets]

Why is it that guys so badly want to be **** buddies with me, and never wanna be in an actual relationship with me?

Other than the ex who slept with men, and a few brief and unmemorable week or two long stints at being someone's 'girlfriend', **** buddies is all I've ever known.

And I just don't understand it.

Do you know, it's been 5 years since I've been in love with anyone?

I used to fall head over heels for people all the time!

A part of me knows that some of that is just growing up.

But then again, most people do have a boyfriend at some point between 20 and 25

Sorry for the pity party, just feeling a bit blue.

I'd hold on longer before sex and see if the guy sticks around. There's gotta be someone out there that will like you (and be completely heterosexual)

 

[The Guard]

I can't get onboard the whole "You don't love someone if you cheat on them."
thing. That's just silly. And this is from personal experience, on both sides of the fence.

Most of my female friends are people who I don't just hang out with or keep around to sleep with, but with whom I probably could/would if it came to it.

I believe that real love allows for the making of mistakes. And I believe, that if you truly love someone, then letting them physically experience someone else needn't be out of the question. But that's me. Everyone is different. Some people think they should have deeper relationships with friends of the opposite sex, and some don't. You have to decide what you personally believe in. And sometimes that's going to be something that you get ridiculed for, but it has to mean something to you.

SuperMike and anyone else who wants to chime in...I've started dating again after a 10-year relationship and three year marriage, any suggestions for dating several women at once? Currently seeing three, and there might be a fourth soon. I rather like them all, but am trying not to get too committed. I've been pretty clear about what I can give and what I can't, and what I want, and why. Beyond that, it's all pretty much new to me. Definitely different.

 

[Kane52630]

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

 

[Erzengel]

I rather like them all, but am trying not to get too committed. I've been pretty clear about what I can give and what I can't, and what I want, and why. Beyond that, it's all pretty much new to me. Definitely different.

Date them all until one is the clear winner or until it all blows up in your face.

I just remember how much time and money it consumed going out Fri night, coming home Sat morning, then going out again Sat night.

Those who can do it for long stretches of time, more power to you.

But it really depends on what you are looking for.

I'd try and keep them separate. Wouldn't necessarily take the to the same places or near where another one hangs out. Regardless if you told them what you were looking and not looking to commit, I still wouldn't run the risk of showcasing your activities in front of another.

 

[enterthemadness]

Intelligent and good looking. I take my chances with crazy...maybe she crazy in bed...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Thats cool and all but I feel as though a women should tell a man she is not interested in him if she knows he likes her. This women knew I liked her, and yet told everyone but me she was not interested. She did this to another guy that she know also liked her. I mean christ she had the man give her flowers and a card for her birthday and when his came along she got him ****. If thats not playing head games then I dono what is.

Sorry to burst your bubble here, but you screwed up pretty bad in this situation. You're not going to like what I have to say and you'll probably tell me I don't know the whole story (which I don't), but from your posts, this is my advice. Most of the problems can be seen in this post;

Because the guys who told me already in a committed relationship with a women they have. And one of them told me months ago she told him she was into older men.

Plus I can tell she not feeling me. She does not call me or text me, only called me 1 time and texted me few times. Last 2 times I called her multiple times she did not pick up and she was on her lunch break at work. Plus she gave me an excuse like her phone is dying and said she was gonna call me back but did not.

I mean alot of stuff adds up that she is not interested in me. Plus the guy told me she gives her number to everyone in the school, he even got her number. But I can trust him as a friend cause he in a committed relationship with his women and has 2 children.

First, you listened to your friends claims that she only dates older guys, it could have been a joke, briefly trying it out, whatever, unless you hear it from her, don't believe it. You set yourself up for failure believing this.

Next, the calling thing, never, ever call multiple times in a day, you call once, leave a message and wait for her to call you back. Also, when you do call, ask her out, be direct, don't have multiple conversations, trying to make her your friend.

Also, you say she knew you liked her, why? Did you tell her? Truthfully, nothing in your posts says you acted like you liked her, it sounds like you were trying to be her friend because, from your posts, you never did anything a romantic interest would do. You say she led you on? What did she do to lead you on? Was it just that she was nice to you and gave you her number? That's not leading you on. As for the guy that gave her flowers, if he's not going out with her at the time, that's a creepy thing to do and she didn't owe him anything in return. Basically you put this girl on a pedastal and were naming your future children, but forgot the first and most important step, to actually ask the girl out. Oh and also, after one date, you do not ask her to be your girlfriend, that's creepy behavior that'll send her running for the hills. Let the relationship evolve naturally.

 

[Lily Adler]

Update: I have finished my challenge, successfully. I was able to seduce and convert a gay man on the Morrow. I used my gay friend who works security at a bar to seduce a gay man and converted him to decaf. I'm awesome.

 

[DV8]

Update: I have finished my challenge, successfully. I was able to seduce and convert a gay man on the Morrow. I used my gay friend who works security at a bar to seduce a gay man and converted him to decaf. I'm awesome.

pics or it didn't happen

now seduce me . . . ok, GO!

 

[Daniel Thompson]

Sorry to burst your bubble here, but you screwed up pretty bad in this situation. You're not going to like what I have to say and you'll probably tell me I don't know the whole story (which I don't), but from your posts, this is my advice. Most of the problems can be seen in this post;



First, you listened to your friends claims that she only dates older guys, it could have been a joke, briefly trying it out, whatever, unless you hear it from her, don't believe it. You set yourself up for failure believing this.

Next, the calling thing, never, ever call multiple times in a day, you call once, leave a message and wait for her to call you back. Also, when you do call, ask her out, be direct, don't have multiple conversations, trying to make her your friend.

Also, you say she knew you liked her, why? Did you tell her? Truthfully, nothing in your posts says you acted like you liked her, it sounds like you were trying to be her friend because, from your posts, you never did anything a romantic interest would do. You say she led you on? What did she do to lead you on? Was it just that she was nice to you and gave you her number? That's not leading you on. As for the guy that gave her flowers, if he's not going out with her at the time, that's a creepy thing to do and she didn't owe him anything in return. Basically you put this girl on a pedastal and were naming your future children, but forgot the first and most important step, to actually ask the girl out. Oh and also, after one date, you do not ask her to be your girlfriend, that's creepy behavior that'll send her running for the hills. Let the relationship evolve naturally.

The way I acted showed her I was interested in her. And I told her on the phone the first time we talked that I did like her and I did ask her to go out with me and we never did. I'm saying she lead me on because she told other people she was not interested in me instead of telling me.

I trust and believe what my friends told me, because even she told me she was not into the other guy but she also never told the other guy that. Now I did not ask her did she liek him, I was just playfully saying he likes you and want you to be his girl and she said she not interested in him. I even heard her tell her friends that aswell. Like I said she never told him that, he asked her to go out and chill and she agreed to go out with him, now I dono if they ever did go out.

I'm saying its my fault for putting her that high above everything esle but she could of also told me she was not into me like that cause she already knew cause of the way I was acting around her, and I even told her that I liked her and asked her to go out and chill.

 

[Erzengel]

Most people aren't cruel heartless b'es or bastards. Most people don't want to go to you and tell you, listen, I'm not attracted or interested in you. They would prefer to avoid the conversation and hope you realize it yourself.

You should either learn to read between the lines, or just ask them directly.

 

[Lily Adler]

pics or it didn't happen

now seduce me . . . ok, GO!

As you wish :

 

[Daniel Thompson]

Most people aren't cruel heartless b'es or bastards. Most people don't want to go to you and tell you, listen, I'm not attracted or interested in you. They would prefer to avoid the conversation and hope you realize it yourself.

You should either learn to read between the lines, or just ask them directly.

My problem was I was too afraid to read between the lines and accept she was not into me but now I have. I do not feel too bad, I just still wish though she would of told me instead of other people, thats my only problem. I mean their are ways to tell people in a communication that you are not digging them without being a heartless person. And I was going to ask her directly but last couple times I called her she did not pick up the phone and when she did she said her phone was dying and she call me back as soon as she got in the house but she never did.

 

[DV8]

As you wish :

My "Dark Knight" is "Rising" nyuk nyuk

 

[amazingfantasy15]

My problem was I was too afraid to read between the lines and accept she was not into me but now I have. I do not feel too bad, I just still wish though she would of told me instead of other people, thats my only problem. I mean their are ways to tell people in a communication that you are not digging them without being a heartless person. And I was going to ask her directly but last couple times I called her she did not pick up the phone and when she did she said her phone was dying and she call me back as soon as she got in the house but she never did.

This is a clear sign of non interest. Also, never actually setting up a date is non interest. It sounds like she gave you plenty of signs of non interest, but you just wouldn't see them. Like Erz said, nobody wants to actually come out and say they aren't interested, so they let their actions to the talking. She didn't lead you on.

 

[Erzengel]

. I mean their are ways to tell people in a communication that you are not digging them without being a heartless person.

What's the saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but a turn down is still a turn down and uncomfortable for the turn downer. And maybe her way was telling your friends so they can tell you as away of avoiding a conversation between you two.

And look, you still didn't get it. Your friends told you she wasn't into you, but you still want more.

Why is she obligated to verbally and in person turn down any guy who's interested in her? I mean you expected her to read your mind and surmise that you had feelings for her.

She lead you on? How? By talking on the phone to you? By talking to you in person? By hanging out?

You haven't even been physical with this girl and you expect some sort of formal declaration of her disinterest.

 

[Lily Adler]

My "Dark Knight" is "Rising" nyuk nyuk

That's ridiculous.

He's mad at you because you didn't tell him not to think something he was thinking, when you had no clue whether it could be true or not?

He was paranoid about his friend. I don't know what he expected you to do about it, but him blaming you for any problem caused by it is just insane.

Wow, after reading it, it really sounds absurd and overly complicated. Hmm.

 

[Anubis]

That's why I try not to be helpful, because then people will expect it from you and you can't get by with a simple, "My name is Paul and this s**t between ya'll."

 

[Daniel Thompson]

This is a clear sign of non interest. Also, never actually setting up a date is non interest. It sounds like she gave you plenty of signs of non interest, but you just wouldn't see them. Like Erz said, nobody wants to actually come out and say they aren't interested, so they let their actions to the talking. She didn't lead you on.

I know this now and I know she was just being nice.

 

[Daniel Thompson]

What's the saying, you can put lipstick on a pig, but a turn down is still a turn down and uncomfortable for the turn downer. And maybe her way was telling your friends so they can tell you as away of avoiding a conversation between you two.

And look, you still didn't get it. Your friends told you she wasn't into you, but you still want more.

Why is she obligated to verbally and in person turn down any guy who's interested in her? I mean you expected her to read your mind and surmise that you had feelings for her.

She lead you on? How? By talking on the phone to you? By talking to you in person? By hanging out?

You haven't even been physical with this girl and you expect some sort of formal declaration of her disinterest.

No I do not want more, I got the conclusion that I wanted and leaving it alone. I finally get it now that she was being nice and telling me through her actionsshe was not interested. Plus my friend put it in my head that she was leading me on and I thought to myself maybe she was but now I see she was not and just being nice. Its a good life expierence for me so I'm not too butt hurt over it anymore and kinda glad I can move on and not be stressed out by this.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Thats cool and all but I feel as though a women should tell a man she is not interested in him if she knows he likes her. This women knew I liked her, and yet told everyone but me she was not interested. She did this to another guy that she know also liked her. I mean christ she had the man give her flowers and a card for her birthday and when his came along she got him ****. If thats not playing head games then I dono what is.

Wow she really got you upset.

I don't think that your complaining about the behavior of women is going to change them.

You can adapt to them however and find out where you went wrong, but there are a lot of thing you clearly need to learn.

So there are your choices, blame women kind for doing these things, or learn about their patterns of behavior and what motivates such actions, and have to avoid making mistakes like the ones you and this other guy did, so that next time you meet a hot girl, you don't lose her so easily.

 

[DV8]

No I do not want more, I got the conclusion that I wanted and leaving it alone. I finally get it now that she was being nice and telling me through her actionsshe was not interested. Plus my friend put it in my head that she was leading me on and I thought to myself maybe she was but now I see she was not and just being nice. Its a good life expierence for me so I'm not too butt hurt over it anymore and kinda glad I can move on and not be stressed out by this.

yeah, check it out: females are NOT gonna tell you they're not interested 99.9999% of the time . . . can you imagine how awkward of a conversation that would be? Lol . . .

actions speak louder than words in ANY situation for the rest of your life, so start paying attention to non-verbal cues; ESPECIALLY from chicks; her telling everyone else she wasn't interested in you was more than enough notice

 

[Daniel Thompson]

@ SuperMike335 I'm cool now I'm not going to hold any grudge. Like I said its a good live expierence and I will not make the same mistakes next time.

@ DV8 I understand this now and will look out next time for non-verbal clues. I'm still young and new at this ''game'', so its a good lesson that I learned, so next time can do things differently and better.