World Things Spider-Man would NEVER say.

[3dman27]

he DID say that,under the influence of mind control nanotech i think

 

[Cyclops]

No, he didn't say that. Joe Quesada said it. He was throwing his voice in Spider-Man's direction to make us think he said it. But Spider-Man would never in a million years have said that. Ever. Unless he was in front of a mirror.

 

[3dman27]

dear mr. quesada
due to your instructions to marvel writers to portray me as a bungleing incompetent i must resign from the marvel universe effective imeadiatly
my wife andi will be moving to the DCuniverse after the thanksgiving holiday
peter richard parker AKA spider-man

 

[Chris Wallace]

I thought his middle name was Benjamin.

 

[3dman27]

it might be

 

[3dman27]

i can't recall if i've used this or no but
"its an IRON MAN world and i'm just H.E.R.B.I.E. THE ROBOT"

 

[spdpink]

I've got a wedgie dodging the green goblin and I can't find a place to stop and sort it out!

 

[Scissors]

Spider-Man: Eddie,I'm Batman!
Eddie: no you're not...
Spider-Man: Oh! you're right!
Eddie: ...
Spider-Man: Eddie,I'm Robin!
Eddie: ...And i thought i was dumb...

 

[spdpink]

lol Tom

Peter Parker: It's Morphin time! Spiderman! (looks and sees nothing happen!)
I said "It's Morphin time! It works on TV but not for me!

(How dumb can I guy get)

 

[Scissors]

lol Tom

Peter Parker: It's Morphin time! Spiderman! (looks and sees nothing happen!)
I said "It's Morphin time! It works on TV but not for me!

(How dumb can I guy get)

My Turn on this one!

Peter: It's Spider Time!
Harry: Goblin Emergency!
Peter: Huh?! Huh?!
Harry: It Works!!
Peter: Not for me! C'mon! It's Spider Time! C'mon!!!!!
Harry: *pushes the button on Peters Cell Phone*
Peter: It Works!
Harry: D'oh!

 

[spdpink]

why u scive of me Tom *cries*

Peter Parker: Aracnid Source! Spider Force!
Norman Osborne: Toxic Source! Goblin Force!
Peter Parker: Mine worked yours didn't hahaha! (Moons Norman)
Ever swinging like a spider! Mystical Spiderman!
Norman Osborne: Stop that! (runs away crying)
Peter Parker: Ha ha ha
Udonna: uhum (Mystical Spiderman turns), you've had your fun now handover
my wand ( spiderman does as told and returns to normal spiderman) Now get lost!
Peter Parker web lsings off head hung low
Udonna: Spiders hmm!

 

[redmarvel]

I want my mommy

 

[Chris Wallace]

Quesada! Time to give the Spider his due!

 

[3dman27]

Quesada! Time to give the Spider his due!

thats something spidey's fans have to sayFOR him

 

[3dman27]

spidey"i wish i lived in the dc universe sometimes"
mj"how come?"
spidey "simple fixing my bad rep looks like a job for SUPERMAN"

 

[3dman27]

here's one i KOW he'd never say
"fans i'm sorry but marvel is going to downgrade or discontiue me altogether i respectfully suggest you start reading[choke]IRON MAN"

 

[Redwoods Wolf]

Remember that issue where the little kid was dying from luekemia (sp?) and Spider-Man dropped in to visit him? This is how it never would have gone...

Spider-Man: Hey, Timmy!
Timmy: Is that you, Spider-Man?
Spider-Man: Yep. And you know what THIS is?
Timmy: What?
Spider-Man: A DRIVER'S LICENCE! Something you'll NEVER have! And sex. You'll never have that, either.
Timmy: (barely restrained sobbing) Will you tell me who you are? I've wanted to know for--
Spider-Man: No! Freak! Why the H3LL would I do that? You think I care that you're dying? You'd tell the little nurse who comes in to change your bedpans, I know you would!
Timmy: I wouldn't, I swear!
Spider-Man: All right, you know what, kid? I'm gonna do you a favor. You ever see One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?
Timmy: Maybe...
Spider-Man: What about the end?
Timmy:....No....
Spider-Man: Then this'll be a nice big surprise...

(I know I misspelled licence, but oh, well)

 

[Arkady Rossovich]

*Spider-Man steps up to a podium,instead of taking his mask off,he says this* "Joe Quesada and Bendis are the greatest force at Marvel Comics."

 

[Redwoods Wolf]

Spider-Man: Hey, Uncle Ben!
UB: Peter...it's been a long time.
Spider-Man: Getting shot hurts, doesn't it?
UB: ...yes. But about you. Do you remember what I taught you as a child?
Spider-Man:....uh....
UB: Well?
Spider-Man: ..."Serve the Public Trust, Protect the Innocent, Uphold the Law?"

 

[unrealman]

Test ( superman gets dick on)

Spider-Man: Faster than a speeding bullet , more powerful than a loco motive , able to leap a tall bulid in a singal bound. It's Super Spidey strange vist from another planet with powers far beyond those of mortal men.

Clark Kent: Uh parker your just Spiderman not Super Spidey, and did you even ask me premisson before you rip of lines from one of my shows.

Spider-man shut up Clark your just jealous that this costume looks better on me then it does on you.

Clark Kent: wait how did you get a hold of my suit.

Spider-Man: a stole it while you where making sweet love to bruce.

Clark Kent: that's a flithy lie spidey i am not in love with bruce.

Spider-man or is it , i have photo's that suggest otherwise.

Clark Kent: your bluffing , you don't have any photo's with me and batman making out.

Spider-Man: maybe I do maybe I don't , but i am going to show them to the whole world if you don't do one little thing for me.

Clark Kent: and what's that ?

Spider-man: get on your knees on woshiper me as your all powerful Savior *****.

Clark Kent: What

Spider-man a said down on your knees *****


pulls out a rock of Gold K. and Clark drops to his knees.


Spider-Man now that's more like it ***** now begin woshiping me. yes that's it woship the mighty Spider-Man rule of the cosmos. hmm now if I can only find a pope hat.

 

[J. J. Jameson]

Please exuse my language but here's what he'll DEFINITELY not say........

1. F***
2. S***
3. Hell
4. Ass
5. Damn
6. B***h

He's said quite a few of those actually.

 

[venom628]

i hate you mary jane!

 

[Spider-Bite]

Spidey: Vote for Bush!

 

[DACMAN]

"Does this costume make my butt look big?"

He said that in Spider-Man 2 the game.t:

 

[The Master Planner]

Dr. Otto Octavius: I'm going to need to readjust my calculations, because if I proceed with this experiment, it will likely blow up in my face.