Things I didn't like in X-Men: Apocalypse?
Wow, just so, so much! I was hopeful. I mean, we're talking Apocalypse! When that was dropped I was like, "YES!", but now I'm just shaking my head saying "no, no, no!".
So here goes...
1. The Timeline! Yes, this isn't solely the fault of the Apocalypse movie, but after Days of Future Past there was kind of a soft reset for some of the previous mistakes and there appeared to be a little interest in Singer and Kinberg for wanting to fix/care about the timeline, but that was all B.S.
I could spend hours talking about how bad the X-Men movieverse timeline is, and how this constant decade jumping is such a mistake, but let me try to focus on the timeline issues in Apocalypse:
- Many of the characters from First Class don't match up as far as ages. Magneto, Moira and Charles are supposed to be like 50 and Havok like 40, but fine, I can move past this if it wasn't so obvious or problematic as far as other related characters.
- And to make a joke about this was kind of a slap in the face. To say "Moira hasn't aged a day" was annoying.
2. How Apocalypse was awoken!
This was beyond stupid. Moira, of all people, woke him up by leaving the door open (uncovered) so the sun could get in? Amazingly stupid! I wrote this concept way back where a young Storm followed Gambit into the Great Pyramid of Giza (after trying to steal from Gambit earlier and finding him to be a mutant like her) and she mistakenly wakes him up. That would have been so much better than the crap we got!
3. Charles as a love sick puppy. This 50 year old dude, who (for no real reason) altered Moira's mind 20 years ago, is all love sick over the thoughts of her? Stupid! I mean, he could have altered the minds of all of the CIA agents and lived happily ever after with Moira for the past 20 years, but no, can't do that...
4. The Villain! This one is simple, if you get the villain wrong, you've ruined the movie, and Apocalypse sucked! I mean, he sucked bad! Isaac is a great actor, but he didn't fit for Apocalypse. I mean, the Rock would have been better (maybe). But the make-up and cg was terrible, and Oscar is too short, and they didn't even try to fix that in post. They gave us Ivan Ooze with no celestial (or alien) technology and no defined powers. One minute he's melting people and the next launching nukes. Just didn't make sense.
5. Mystique! In all of the previous movies it was Wolverine and his super friends. Now it's Mystique and her super friends. Yes, I get it, Jennifer Lawrence is popular, but this was a chance to focus on the new characters. It started off like maybe that's what it would be, but not too long into things Cyclops became secondary, like we always knew would happen. Her abandoning her "mutant and proud" philosophy and her flicking the switch of being a good guy too easily. Worse though is her terrible Katness Everdeen speeches in this movie! Mystique should NOT be leading the X-Men.
Could you imagine her leading her own Brotherhood of Mutants in this movie and her team needing to join together with the X-Men in order to defeat Apocalypse in the final battle? Now that could have been amazing!
6. Angel! Or whatever/whoever that guy was, because he wasn't Angel/Archangel. That definitely wasn't Warren Worthington III! Angel is not some punk rock cage fighter. And Angel should never have even been in this movie since he was used in Last Stand (and no, Days of Future Past wouldn't make him born 20 years earlier!).
Look, at first I kind of got why you would want to have Angel/Archangel in an Apocalypse movie. Archangel as the Horseman Death is iconic. But to force him into the movie by conveniently forgetting him in Last Stand is stupid. But worse is to force him in and then barely use him. He was a waste of a character!
Instead, they should have used Wolverine as the Horseman Death (and actually called him that). That might have made sense as Mystique could have "sold" Logan to Sinister who could have turned Wolvie into Apocalypse Horseman. That would have been cool...
7. Magneto. Look, I think Fassbender is amazing, but his story arch was a bit stupid. To have this guy with amazing powers working in a steel mill was stupid! I mean, this is a guy who could have pulled gold from the ground. He could have purchased his own country (and maybe named it Genosha or Avalon or something), but nope, let's put him in a steel mill making minimum wage. Yes, love that he found some semblance of a normal life (as fgar as having a wife and kid), but that wasn't realistic. He too switches his goodness on and off a bit too easily. "You killed my family, I'll destroy the world!" And the "women in refrigerator" trope is a bit overused.
What they should have done is have him either leading his own (mutant) country, or preparing to leave the earth (Avalon/Asteroid M). This could have been used as a means to get Quicksilver and Magneto to acknowledge their relationship and Peter could have left with Erik.
Which bring me to:
8. The holding back of family reveals.
You have two huge family possibilities and you barely acknowledge one "he's my dad" and ignore the other. To not have Peter tell Magneto that he is his son was bad, but to ignore Mystique being Kurt's mommy (and Azazel being his daddy) was criminal!
9. Nightcrawler. Don't get me wrong, I like Kodi. He was actually the one I recommended for the role when I wrote up my fan cast. But to not have him at the circus was a missed opportunity.
I wrote a story a while back for Apocalypse where the team went to investigate a mutant at a circus in Germany. While the X-kiddos are watching the Amazing Nightcrawler do his act Charles was meeting with his step-mother, Margali. Something happens causing Kurt to use his powers, causing the X-Kids to get involved and ultimately Kurt to leave with Professor X. Now that would have been cool!
Oh, also, for some 17 year old kid to have those facial scars is just wrong. This is a new timeline and it wasn't necessary. Also, not having Kurt wield a sword with his tail is a missed opportunity!
10. Making fun of the third movie being bad. Yes, I agree, the third movie is usually the worst, but any guy who directed Superman Returns is not allowed to make fun of any movie, especially one from the Star Wars trilogy! And it is ironic that the worst movie (by far) in this Singer/Kinberg trilogy (First Class/Last Stand/Apocalypse) is this one!
11. Havok! What a waste of a character. First, they never should have forced him into First Class. Caused too many age related issues with Scott, which they chose to ignore anyway, which took me out of the story. But he served no real purpose in this movie, other than to die, and his death was terrible. It was greatly overlooked due to the fun Quicksilver featurette. It would have been one thing to kill him off at the beginning of the epic battle, but to have him die like he did? Stupid! Also, you telling this guy hasn't found a way to use his powers and not burn a big circle in his shirts?
12. The Military intervention. Ok, the mansion gets blown up and Quicksilver, luckily, who just happens to be there, is able to run around and save everyone (guess he no longer cares about w.h.i.p.l.a.s.h.), and this all happens in what, 2 seconds or so. Fine, decent scene I guess, but once it's over Stryker and his military army shows up out of nowhere? What, were they on their way there anyway and it just happened to coincide with the mansion being blown up? And then worse, they knock everyone out (except those who went to the mall) and leave everyone except a couple?????? That's not the Stryker I remember, and the whole scene was just a bit too convenience.
13. Meaningless Deaths. I've already ranted about Havok's worthless death, but same with Archangel's. To kill off Archangel, so he's gone for good (well, who knows with Kinberg and Singer), was a waste!
14. Weapon X. Don't get me wrong, I liked the scene. Yes, maybe it was a bit gratuitous, but whatever. But it took me out of things a bit because I was caught up with how Stryker shouldn't have him. It was Mystique that fished him out 10 years ago, so how exactly did Stryker get him? Doesn't make a lot of sense.
I kind of liked my version better where Mystique (at some point in the past) "sold" Wolverine's body to Mr. Sinister, and Sinister turned Wolvie into Apocalypse's Horseman Death. Would have introduced Sinister and given Wolverine a cool role as the main "villain" that they would have needed to defeat, which would have also enabled Apocalypse to be placed (by Sinister) in his regen chamber so he could be reused in an Age of Apocalypse movie in the future...
15. Caliban. What a flippin waste! That wasn't Caliban. Caliban is supposed to have the mutant power of tracking mutants, not being a Varys from GOT type guy, who knows where to go find mutants. That loses him from any futue Morlock story.
16. No Brotherhood. Mystique could have been leading a Brotherhood group that could have joined up with the X-Men to defeat Apocalypse. That would have been amazing. We had Toad and Ink in Days of Future Past, so this could have been so easily done.
17. Blob. Yes, likely a better version than Origins, but still, what a waste. Cameos like this mean nothing. And are we really to believe that punk rock Angel could beat the Blob?
18. No Mall Scene. I would have actually liked to have seen some of the X-Men at the mall, but nope, we couldn't get that. Maybe it'll be in the extended version (which I'll never buy). Worse, are we really to believe that the average person would have no issue with some blue skinned, scarred up demon looking kid walking around?
19. Phoenix Force. Way too early! This should not have been how they beat Apocalypse. They shouldn't even have eluded to it yet. Yes, the Dark Phoenix story could be done much better, but it's too early!
20. The Astral Plane "fight". What a wasted opportunity. How amazing this could have been. Charles could have been armored. Just could have been so much better!
21. Psylocke! A whip? Really? Again, what a waste. They had zero focus on her telepathy, which is what that knife (not sword, and definitely not a whip) is supposed to be. How cool would it have been to see her jam that thing into the brain of say Quicksilver, rendering him unconscious or something? And don't even get me started on her cutting a car in half. Terribly done!
I'm sure there's more I can come up with, but this should serve for now!