Advice and Relationships Again: A Hypester's Tale

[The Guard]

I never said I didn't feel the need to.

You understand that people make mistakes, yes?

"Didn't need to" is not exactly how I would put it. "Didn't" is more like it.

 

[Anita18]

Right sex =

1. Hair pulling
2. Back scratching
3. Moaning
4. Neck and shoulder nibbles

Subtracting an element = wrong sex...

... despite achievement of orgasm.

got it.

This is especially amusing considering what he's told us about fling girl and "the big O."

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Optimus Prime is hardcore internet-tough-guying it right now. I am so envious of, and impressed by him.

Yeah, but not now. I'm really stoned and have been drinking a lot of red wine. I'm kitten harmless right now.

 

[Dreadstar]

Yes, fling girl moans and groans, scratches my back, pulls my hair and nibbles on my shoulders and neck but she has not had the big Or or so she says…..

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

How do you not know how to give a girl the O?

 

[Dreadstar]

Give her? Does she not have to take ownership of her own big Os?

The previous women I have been with never had any issues, so I never really had to try.

I will try orally going for the C and the G spot.

 

[Schlosser85]

Oy vey...

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Damn. I think I'm running a fever all of the sudden.

 

[Darthphere]

Give her? Does she not have to take ownership of her own big Os?

The previous women I have been with never had any issues, so I never really had to try.

I will try orally going for the C and the G spot.

Because they were faking it. duh!

 

[Darthphere]

And seriously, you can say orgasm, it's ok. Say it, orgasm.

 

[Schlosser85]

Give her? Does she not have to take ownership of her own big Os?

The previous women I have been with never had any issues, so I never really had to try.

I will try orally going for the C and the G spot.

Good luck with that...

 

[Darthphere]

 

[AndrewGilkison]

I really like this thread. It's so entertaining.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Suit up.

 

[Anita18]

Oy vey...

I seriously just did a fist-pump right now seeing where my observation has taken this thread.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I never realized how phallic that intro is until just now.

 

[Dreadstar]

Lick the C, stimulate the G with finger = ALL GOOD!

And none of you "genius" called my getting back together with this woman, so WTF?

AND I HAD sex with this woman last night at her place. Thing is her daughter (who is 23) home, 2 rooms over. She NEVER had sex when her kids were in the house, but I actually listened to her and explored her body with my mouth and tongue and she went nuts! Did it in positions we never did before! And she said I have a magic tongue but she wanted $#@! inside of her! So, you experts, why did she go wild when her daughter was home when previously she said NO! The evening was suppose to be me visiting her, ( I surprised her with some cold beer she likes and frozen yogurt, I also got her some dark chocolate covered pretzels for her trip this weekend) cooking together (which we did), snuggling together in front of a fire pit (which we did) , then me leaving because she is going out of town to visit one of her friends and she has to get up early because the drive is about 3 hours. I told her I wish I could stay over night to fall asleep holding her in my arms, she was all for it. I told her no SEX! Well that never happened!

WTF?

And these relationships are hard work! I have been doing all sorts of crap for her. I cant be my old self, clueless, a bit lazy and unobservant. For example, when she texted me Friday and told me that she was feeling run down, I asked if she would like me to come down and get her something, she said do not bother coming all the way down to my work. TRANSLATION: If you care about me, you better get your $#@ down here N-O-W!!!!!! So I went to the health food store, got her some stuff for when your feeling run down (Floridix, ginsing), when to a speciality tea store, got her some herbal tea and a special ceramic mug with tea infuser, brought her a multi vitamin and some COLD FX (which she likes) and headed down. I got to her work and took care of her. I asked if there was anything I can do for her at work. I asked if she would like me to go get her something to eat. I sat with her for 20 minutes, then told her I am going to leave to allow her to get some work down. I texted her later on in the afternoon and she was so happy! She said I cured her and we should get together for the evening!

Read the book, Porn for women. No porn in it as you think, its written as a joke, but there is truth to it.

http://www.amazon.com/Women-Cambridge-Womens-Pornography-Cooperative/dp/0811855511

 

[Darthphere]

I swear, you're wasting your talent here. You need to start writing novels.

 

[Dreadstar]

I swear, its all true! Oh and I am going to take her on a double date with one of my couple friends that are married. This couple is very perspective and can tell me what this chick is all about. She wanted to meet some of my friends, I figure I will show her that in addition to my guy friends, I have couple friends, which she should like.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

These women must be hideous.

 

[Dreadstar]

which womens must be hideous?

 

[Darthphere]

Two days ago, you threw yourself on the mercy of the universe because you had failed as man and as a lover. Today, all of a sudden, you got the girl back and you're a secret sex God. Yeah forgive me while I cleanse myself of the ********.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I've acted like a b**** before Dreadstar. I'll proudly admit that. When I did I'd make up stories, and I wasn't dumb about it either, but they'd always sound off. Frankly I'm not thinking you're lying. I don't care either way actually. You are a mess of emotions though. The confidence doesn't seem real. Like you're just mimicking those who are confident.

SuperMike did this. One minor misread dig by Erzengel led him to post a semi-pornographic image to prove he slept with beautiful women. It was an ironic lack of perspective considering most attractive women I know don't want photos taken of them. Also it was like he was trying to prove something that if it were real he wouldn't feel so compelled to prove it to everyone.

Occasionally I get hung up on this chick and that chick. It happens and mostly it doesn't occur to me. When it does I head for the hills, I mean if we are not f***ing or dating.

So that's the thing. You gloat about a lot of failures like they were something to be proud of. Now I'm to believe you're mister confident?

Why are you the only one doing anything in your stories? None of the girls you write about sound into you.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I got to find a date to the PGA tour. So far I'm struggling to think of who would be available those days. Or at least most people I've asked have to work (it's during the week).

Hmmmmmmm

 

[Dreadstar]

I dont know why I am the only one doing anything in my stories. Maybe you are correct, maybe this one is not really into me. If that is true, why get back with me?

This woman did all sorts of stuff for me, the problem was I was lazy, cocky, and figured I had her and had to do nothing in return. She had enough. Thats what lead to the break up.

My married friends will be able to sort all of this out when we go on our double date next week. We plan to go bowling, then go for a bite to eat. Bowling is an activity that allows us to chat while still doing something. She does not like to shoot stick (pool)

LOOK, here is the deal, I was lazy, clueless, and unobservant. I am trying to change that. I am clueless as to how to pleasure a woman orally. NONe of the women in the past were into that. So I was spoiled by these women, they did everything for me. My friends told me this and said MOST woman are NOT going to be that way and do everything for you, I refused to listen. Well, you saw the results. SO there you have it. Its obvious I AM NOT some big bad confident dude. I know I have short comings sexually, I got in, got off, DONE! but trying to learn is the first step.

Now I know that I cannot go 100% supplicating to her needs. I have to be a strong, dominant male, get what I want while taking into account her needs. BUT Cant focus only on her needs.

And from all of this I have to take it and tailor it to me and make it authentic and fit my personality.

Maybe thats why she went nuts last night, I spend 20-30 minutes kissing, sucking, and licking her entire body. She told me she really likes that, I thought she was just BSing me! LOL