stillanerd
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Okay, folks, here’s a summary of the latest issue for those of you who don’t want to read it. Get ready for the origin of Menace:
Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate getting an origin of how Lily became Menace and what her motivation was. But I’m sorry--we really didn’t need a full issue to explain this to us. Especially since many already guessed what Menace was up to before hand, and that Lily and Menace were never compelling characters to begin with. At most, it could have been trimmed down to five or six pages. And it’s pretty obvious that Lily only has a single character arc going for her--that, like Lady Macbeth, she’s going to seduce and manipulate Harry to advance her own goals and drive herself more and more insane in the process. Not to mention she’s just a catalyst for [blackout]Harry to possibly become the Green Goblin once again[/blackout]. The issue is overly padded, all exposition, with oversized panels just to fill up page space. A pretty disappointing interlude to a story that was otherwise getting good.
We first begin with a Prologue from ten years ago in the Hollister household, in which Mr. Hollister, his wife, Lily, and Carlie, are about to have family dinner. Hollister berates Lily for not being able to get into any honors classes and, despite her mother trying to stick up for her and Carlie offering to cheer her up by doing her nails (yes, cause having a manicure really boosts your brain power) Hollister said that Lily didn’t study hard enough and that he doesn’t want to have her marry someone right in order to amount to something. (Origin of a super-villain cliché #1--she feels underappreciated by her father).
We then cut to the present, or rather a flashback, from where Menace was throttling Spider-Man from last issue, this time from her perspective. She thinks that she’s going to do what the Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and all those other morons never did--beat Spider-Man (Hey! What about Morlun sweetheart? Or Kraven?) She also thinks that it’s better if he’s alive and arrested so that her father will become Mayor, and the best part is that he’ll never know it was her that helped him, that he wouldn’t understand anyway, but that she will and that’s all that matters. (Yes, did I tell you she has daddy issues?)
Anyway, back at Hollister headquarters and after she transforms back to Lily, she calls a pollster to inform him to conduct a new poll, telling him that something huge is going to happen, a game-changer that would favor Hollister. Then after she hangs up, Harry enters and we are now right where we left off last issue--finally.
Lily tries to anticipate what Harry must be thinking, and Harry says he thinks he’s going to be sick. Lily nonchalantly hands him a wastebasket while she changes out of costume (And no, you sick pervs, we don’t see any shots of a naked Lily with conveniently placed shadows to cover her naughty bits). Lily then tells Harry that she knows what he’s thinking, that she never really loved him, that she only dated him because he was the Green Goblin. She tries to reassure him otherwise, when Harry slaps her (thus joining other male comic book characters like Hank Pym, Reed Richards, and even Peter Parker who have backhanded the women they love). Lily, sarcastically saying her feelings are hurt, backhands Harry with enough force that appears to send him across the room (thus proving once and for all who wears the pants in this relationship).
After a brief interruption from a clueless campaign aide that Lily dismisses, Harry tells Lily that she’s sick (no, you think?) and Lily, wide-eyed and intense, asks Harry whether he or his father were sick? She says she doesn’t buy that Norman Osborn was forced to become the Green Goblin, because she’s read-- get this--Harry's Green Goblin Journal, which she found in a hidden compartment in Harry’s closet (Wait? Harry kept a journal too? Is that a requirement for being a Green Goblin now?) She tells Harry that she was, at first, worried about him, that his coming home late and his stress made her think he had fallen off the wagon, not realizing he was under a lot of pressure to get his Coffee Bean franchises up and running. So, out of concern and curiosity, she searched through his closet and found where he kept his journal (Origin of a super-villain cliché #2--she’s a snoop). After saying that the diary was dry reading and full of whining, even for Harry, Harry again tells her that she’s sick and that she needs help. (Yes, Harry. We know!).
Lily, however, goes off about her father not caring for her either, that he would have preferred a boy, but that she’s not complaining (um, you just did). Harry tells her not to bring his father into this, and after Lily tells Harry that Norman already is in this, Harry tells Lily that she didn't become Menace because of his father or hers. Lily says she knows, that she knows she isn’t perfect, that she’s mature enough to make her own decisions, that even though her father loved Carlie more (origin of a super-villain cliché #3--she’s jealous of her best friend who's also like a sister to her) that she doesn’t blame her father at all (Of course not. Which is why this is only the THIRD time you've brought this up.) She then tells Harry that it’s not exactly true that Norman Osborn had nothing to do with her becoming Menace.
Harry finally throws up in the wastebasket, then vows to kill his father. But Lily tells him he’s got the wrong idea--that Norman probably doesn’t even know that she's Menace. She reveals that she found Norman’s secret Goblin lab hidden behind the bookcase. As an aside, she tells Harry that she kissed Peter (as seen in New Ways to Die), and that she did it in order to distract him because he almost found the hidden lab (which even those who didn’t think Lily was Menace at the time pretty much guessed this was exactly what she was really doing). Harry then asks how she found the lab and she tells him that it was because of his journal, and that he "whinned" about how Norman spent most of his time in there. Harry then realizes that’s why she insisted in coming with him when he had to sign the Oscorp Trust Fund documents (and this "revelation" about an earlier event would’ve had more impact if we had actually seen this earlier event in an actual issue).
Lily then tells him that she originally wanted to find incriminating evidence for her father to use to prosecute Norman Osborn so that her father could run for mayor, and that there was more than enough in the lab to indite Norman. However, she accidentally spilled vials of goblin formula with her purse (origin of a super-villain cliché #4--she’s clumsy). Harry realizes that this is what made her crazy, because she absorbed the goblin formula through her skin (super-villain cliché #5--she was unknowingly exposed to experimental chemicals). Lily tells him that she did absorb it while trying to clean it up, and that this formula must have been more advanced because it physically changed her into a goblin. Then she realized she had a much better plan to help her father. Lily insists that she’s not crazy (Lady, you're not fooling anybody, here) and that she’s in complete control unlike Harry was. To prove it, she transforms into Menace right in front of him and says she can change back and forth at will. (Gee, I wonder if this is going to be a problem for her later? It‘s not like it‘s going to get harder and harder for her to change back to normal and that she‘ll be stuck in her Menace form sometime in the future, right?)
Harry then asks why she went after her father and his campaign if she was so sane. Lily tells him that initially she went after Parfrey and Crowne in attempt to force one of them out of the race and allow an opening for her father to run. But after Parfrey was accidentally killed, Lily realized that sympathy was a valuable political tool. As proof, her attacks on her father actually boosted his poll numbers, made him seem tough on crime, and now Hollister is less than two days from becoming mayor.
After transforming back to normal, she shows Harry that she’s wearing his engagement ring and that she accepts his marriage proposal (oh no, she’s not crazy at all *sarcasm*). She tells him that even though they have some issues to work out, that everything will be fine after the election, and they can get married at Gracie Mansion. She leaves by telling Harry that Spider-Man has been arrested and she doesn’t want to miss the news of it, that to make sure Harry locks the door behind him so no one discovers the goblin equipment, and that she loves him and can’t wait to be Mrs. Osborn (no really, SHE’S NOT CRAZY, DAMMIT!)
When then cut to a epilogue where, on Election Day, Harry goes to Norman’s secret goblin lab. There, he grabs a vial of what looks like Goblin formula, puts on a pair of Green Goblin gloves, grabs a gun, and hops on a Goblin Glider. And, just like last issue, the shadow he casts is shaped like the Green Goblin (ooh, more foreshadowing). To be continued.
We then cut to the present, or rather a flashback, from where Menace was throttling Spider-Man from last issue, this time from her perspective. She thinks that she’s going to do what the Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus and all those other morons never did--beat Spider-Man (Hey! What about Morlun sweetheart? Or Kraven?) She also thinks that it’s better if he’s alive and arrested so that her father will become Mayor, and the best part is that he’ll never know it was her that helped him, that he wouldn’t understand anyway, but that she will and that’s all that matters. (Yes, did I tell you she has daddy issues?)
Anyway, back at Hollister headquarters and after she transforms back to Lily, she calls a pollster to inform him to conduct a new poll, telling him that something huge is going to happen, a game-changer that would favor Hollister. Then after she hangs up, Harry enters and we are now right where we left off last issue--finally.
Lily tries to anticipate what Harry must be thinking, and Harry says he thinks he’s going to be sick. Lily nonchalantly hands him a wastebasket while she changes out of costume (And no, you sick pervs, we don’t see any shots of a naked Lily with conveniently placed shadows to cover her naughty bits). Lily then tells Harry that she knows what he’s thinking, that she never really loved him, that she only dated him because he was the Green Goblin. She tries to reassure him otherwise, when Harry slaps her (thus joining other male comic book characters like Hank Pym, Reed Richards, and even Peter Parker who have backhanded the women they love). Lily, sarcastically saying her feelings are hurt, backhands Harry with enough force that appears to send him across the room (thus proving once and for all who wears the pants in this relationship).
After a brief interruption from a clueless campaign aide that Lily dismisses, Harry tells Lily that she’s sick (no, you think?) and Lily, wide-eyed and intense, asks Harry whether he or his father were sick? She says she doesn’t buy that Norman Osborn was forced to become the Green Goblin, because she’s read-- get this--Harry's Green Goblin Journal, which she found in a hidden compartment in Harry’s closet (Wait? Harry kept a journal too? Is that a requirement for being a Green Goblin now?) She tells Harry that she was, at first, worried about him, that his coming home late and his stress made her think he had fallen off the wagon, not realizing he was under a lot of pressure to get his Coffee Bean franchises up and running. So, out of concern and curiosity, she searched through his closet and found where he kept his journal (Origin of a super-villain cliché #2--she’s a snoop). After saying that the diary was dry reading and full of whining, even for Harry, Harry again tells her that she’s sick and that she needs help. (Yes, Harry. We know!).
Lily, however, goes off about her father not caring for her either, that he would have preferred a boy, but that she’s not complaining (um, you just did). Harry tells her not to bring his father into this, and after Lily tells Harry that Norman already is in this, Harry tells Lily that she didn't become Menace because of his father or hers. Lily says she knows, that she knows she isn’t perfect, that she’s mature enough to make her own decisions, that even though her father loved Carlie more (origin of a super-villain cliché #3--she’s jealous of her best friend who's also like a sister to her) that she doesn’t blame her father at all (Of course not. Which is why this is only the THIRD time you've brought this up.) She then tells Harry that it’s not exactly true that Norman Osborn had nothing to do with her becoming Menace.
Harry finally throws up in the wastebasket, then vows to kill his father. But Lily tells him he’s got the wrong idea--that Norman probably doesn’t even know that she's Menace. She reveals that she found Norman’s secret Goblin lab hidden behind the bookcase. As an aside, she tells Harry that she kissed Peter (as seen in New Ways to Die), and that she did it in order to distract him because he almost found the hidden lab (which even those who didn’t think Lily was Menace at the time pretty much guessed this was exactly what she was really doing). Harry then asks how she found the lab and she tells him that it was because of his journal, and that he "whinned" about how Norman spent most of his time in there. Harry then realizes that’s why she insisted in coming with him when he had to sign the Oscorp Trust Fund documents (and this "revelation" about an earlier event would’ve had more impact if we had actually seen this earlier event in an actual issue).
Lily then tells him that she originally wanted to find incriminating evidence for her father to use to prosecute Norman Osborn so that her father could run for mayor, and that there was more than enough in the lab to indite Norman. However, she accidentally spilled vials of goblin formula with her purse (origin of a super-villain cliché #4--she’s clumsy). Harry realizes that this is what made her crazy, because she absorbed the goblin formula through her skin (super-villain cliché #5--she was unknowingly exposed to experimental chemicals). Lily tells him that she did absorb it while trying to clean it up, and that this formula must have been more advanced because it physically changed her into a goblin. Then she realized she had a much better plan to help her father. Lily insists that she’s not crazy (Lady, you're not fooling anybody, here) and that she’s in complete control unlike Harry was. To prove it, she transforms into Menace right in front of him and says she can change back and forth at will. (Gee, I wonder if this is going to be a problem for her later? It‘s not like it‘s going to get harder and harder for her to change back to normal and that she‘ll be stuck in her Menace form sometime in the future, right?)
Harry then asks why she went after her father and his campaign if she was so sane. Lily tells him that initially she went after Parfrey and Crowne in attempt to force one of them out of the race and allow an opening for her father to run. But after Parfrey was accidentally killed, Lily realized that sympathy was a valuable political tool. As proof, her attacks on her father actually boosted his poll numbers, made him seem tough on crime, and now Hollister is less than two days from becoming mayor.
After transforming back to normal, she shows Harry that she’s wearing his engagement ring and that she accepts his marriage proposal (oh no, she’s not crazy at all *sarcasm*). She tells him that even though they have some issues to work out, that everything will be fine after the election, and they can get married at Gracie Mansion. She leaves by telling Harry that Spider-Man has been arrested and she doesn’t want to miss the news of it, that to make sure Harry locks the door behind him so no one discovers the goblin equipment, and that she loves him and can’t wait to be Mrs. Osborn (no really, SHE’S NOT CRAZY, DAMMIT!)
When then cut to a epilogue where, on Election Day, Harry goes to Norman’s secret goblin lab. There, he grabs a vial of what looks like Goblin formula, puts on a pair of Green Goblin gloves, grabs a gun, and hops on a Goblin Glider. And, just like last issue, the shadow he casts is shaped like the Green Goblin (ooh, more foreshadowing). To be continued.
Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate getting an origin of how Lily became Menace and what her motivation was. But I’m sorry--we really didn’t need a full issue to explain this to us. Especially since many already guessed what Menace was up to before hand, and that Lily and Menace were never compelling characters to begin with. At most, it could have been trimmed down to five or six pages. And it’s pretty obvious that Lily only has a single character arc going for her--that, like Lady Macbeth, she’s going to seduce and manipulate Harry to advance her own goals and drive herself more and more insane in the process. Not to mention she’s just a catalyst for [blackout]Harry to possibly become the Green Goblin once again[/blackout]. The issue is overly padded, all exposition, with oversized panels just to fill up page space. A pretty disappointing interlude to a story that was otherwise getting good.
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