Bought/Thought for 11/5/08, Part Two:
INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #7: A Marvel comic for $2.99? They're becoming rarer to find. This is an epilogue, or "trade break" issue of the series that also doubles as a guest appearance for Spider-Man. It also dives face-first into how BRAND NEW DAY has mixed and matched Marvel continuity. Maybe if I read ASM I would have been better prepared for it, but coming in now, I got a taste of it full on. The taste isn't sweet.
What BRAND NEW DAY has done, in effect, is that for the price of literally ERASING the marriage from history, as well as the unmasking (which was only 2 years ago; man, I bet everyone who treated CIVIL WAR #2 first print like gold feels like a sucker now) and whatnot. However, as DC has experienced a few times with their cluster**** of a continuity (try explaining anyone's origin without using the term "Pre-Crisis" or "Hypertime"), simply using pick-and-choose things to delete doesn't work as planned. Every status quo had reactions and counter-reactions. Take the crux of this issue. The main drama of it is that we have Iron Man and Spider-Man meeting after all that has happened to them post CW. It is supposed to be dramatic. But intsead the "deletions" of it make it awkward.
They want to keep that Peter used to work for Stark, and the pair were close (during THE OTHER and of course the prelude to CW). But, the unmasking is undone so Stark doesn't know Peter is Spider-Man, even though he knew it since New Avengers at least. And there was no marriage, so Peter couldn't have lived at Stark Tower with MJ anymore. How exactly were they that close, then, if Peter didn't confide the identity or move in with his wife? So we are left with what could have been something interesting reduced to something that seems more artificial; every time you spot something that doesn't fit, you can feel Mephisto's reach into the minds of the characters, and it sucks. It only cements that if they wanted Peter unmarried and with a secret identity again, there was a better way to do it without a Spider-Crisis. Or, of course, they could have said "No" to Mark Millar in 2006, but that would have required conviction and sacrificing the current sale for the greater good of a franchise, and Marvel doesn't do that.
Onto the actual story; Peter Parker, still a freelance photographer (eliminating the job as a teacher, the only GOOD detail from JMS' run beyond maybe Aunt May learning the truth), is working a gig for Ben Urich at FRONTLINE. After the bombings of Stark Industries, Urich wants a "street level" type story below the spin about the reaction to the bombing. When Peter & Urich don't have much luck during a Stark press conference, Peter visits the site as Spider-Man, running into Iron Man. IM makes a lot of fuss about being unwilling to be seen with Spidey since he is considered an unregistered fugitive now. But he doesn't recall Peter's identity, and the unmasking, so what, the Iron Spidey run never happened? IM doesn't lift a gauntlet to arrest Spider-Man as he tags along with a few of his battles against Tinkerer and the Big Wheel to reclaim his stolen tech from a black market network. The tone is humorous but Spidey realizes that for the first time, Iron Man seems overwhelmed and not as confident as he seems to come off as, between running SHIELD, his company, and trying to keep his tech out of criminals hands. Spidey gets in some good banter, and Larroca's art is terrific.
But...let me get this straight. Two years ago, JMS shoves Spider-Man into Iron Man's world and manufactures some deep relationship between the two heroes with all the grace of a jackhammer. Within a short period of time, Peter shares his identity, moves his family (his wife and aunt) into Stark Tower, Stark cures him of an illness or whatever the hell THE OTHER was, makes him a new suit, and of course talks him into unmasking & registering before he comes to his senses. They were paired DELIBERATELY to set up the stuff in CIVIL WAR. The unmasking was a big **** storm. But then, what? A year later, Joe Q and JMS do BND and this eliminates all of Spidey's problems. But if the unmasking was a problem, why do it? If they didn't want more people to know Peter's identity, why reveal it to Iron Man? Why have Bendis be loosey-goosey with it in NA? Why not carefully plan actions before spending so much energy doing "shocking" things just to have to undo it in equally shocking ways!?
You will notice that during Joe Q's tenure, the best things that happened usually have the least of his specific, fine tuned influence. The things he approves and lets others execute. The stuff he handles personally turns gold into crap. This is one of them. Marvel wanted to have it's cake and eat it to with Spidey, and has instead made him irrelevant. So now he is back to the same job and same life that he had at 17, but they want to put in bits they liked from recent runs for convenience and hope no one catches on!? This stuff makes Xorneto make sense.
The irony is that there were better ways to "remask" Spidey and even get rid of the marriage than the Infinite Spider Crisis way they chose. Instead they chose a route where they needed Romita Jr. to draw a FAQ 2 page drawing explaining the cluster **** mess that STILL didn't explain jack ****! You can't whitewash everything and then expect the few specks left behind to have any weight.
Some elite comic book readers have a name for the type of fan who has "grown up" with a character, but then insists on either retconning them back to the era when THEY were young, even if it was 20-50 years ago, while wanting to make everything bleak and "realistic" and destroy what came before drama. They call those fans "Babymen". They are crippling DC, and they have crippled Spider-Man. Deciding nothing he has done between 1979 and 2007 was worth keeping is one of the worst theories for Spider-Man. Rather than "re-energize" him, it reminds you that Spider-Man is so old a franchise that the company has to do desperate **** to make people pay attention, or to eliminate a generation's worth of "dust". Babymen are why comics are growing stale as a whole. Men who are pushing middle age so desperate to recreate the stories of the Vietnam era that they push out any fan of progress, or any fan under 35. They'll get their wish.
Spider-Man's appeal was being a "regular guy" dealing with his amazing alternate life. But his adventures have become a spin cycle of worthlessness, and this comic right here is an example of this sort of hogwash. He is about the most unrealistic superheroes ever, and all of this was magnified because leagues of writers couldn't make the marriage work, and Joe Q had a hard on for the 70's.
The Clone Saga didn't kill Spider-Man. The Joe Q tenure did. Remember that, web-heads. Remember that. Don't take things in "bold new directions" if you know you don't have the nuts to keep them there. And if any retcon has to go back beyond a decade, it usually isn't worth doing. If the economy of 2008-2009 ends up putting comic sales on the brink, well, Joe Q and DiDio brought it upon themselves with actions like BND, telling a generation or two of fans what they love and care about is worthless and can be haphazardly erased with a few pages and a sense of arrogance.
The rehashed, broken down, mess of a relationship that now exists and is presented as normal and desirable in INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #7 displays all the things to hate about modern comics. Marvel took their greatest franchise, and ruined it completely and forevermore because they're deathly afraid of a mature relationship with a woman. They've done some wonky stories to keep Peter a man-child, usually by having his girlfriends either die (Gwen) or turn out to be crazy (Felicia, Debra, two in a row), but BND put the ****-storm to a new level of putridness and no one, not Slott, and not Fraction, can make the mess worthwhile. Mephisto took Peter's wife. His friends. A new career. And we're supposed to just swallow it all? It's like the Exiles acting like Morph is fine. It's completely awkward.
So long as a story just has Spider-Man in it and doesn't try to delve into deep continuity, it is fine. But stuff like this, trying to have it both ways with the new rehashed Spider-History, fails on every level.
X-MEN AND SPIDER-MAN #1: And now for something completely different. Well, not really. Written by Christos Gage and drawn by Mario Alberti, this is a 4 issue mini that invents 4 different team ups between the X-Men and Spider-Man from different eras. Why? Who knows. Marvel must have felt some weeks have too few X-Men or Spider-Man comics. Maybe the cost of paper wouldn't be so high if you commissioned less of it, guys. There are plenty of comics that have no reason to be commissioned. Why publish stuff that has no chance of selling and no one asked for it, stuff like this?
But, for what it is, it's fun. It is like a really good issue of X-MEN: FIRST CLASS. From the 70's era stuff, the original X-Men (back when they had unique costumes but still were the core five) have to run into Spider-Man when his enemy Kraven the Hunter announces on TV that Spidey is a mutant. Ignoring the danger, Spidey goes on a double date with Harry & MJ (alongside Gwen) to the Coffee Bean, where the superhero chaos hits the fan when the X-Men, Kraven, AND Blob show up. The heroes save the day, but not before Kraven whisks some DNA samples to Mr. Sinister.
Joy, another retcon. That's how many this week? Plus, Kraven's dead, so any new revelations about Sergei really won't matter, will they?
But taken in isolation, this is a fun little adventure. Reminding you of a time when Marvel comics fearlessly faced the future, rather than fleeing to the past. If the other 3 issues are this fun, I may forget that the overall mini is kind of pointless.