Cobra!!!

[OptimusCannabis]

With a G.I. Joe movie immenent, discussions will be heating up. This is one dedicated not to G.I. Joe but to their counterpart, COBRA.

COBRA definitely has some very colorful characters. Cobra Commander, Destro, Baroness, Storm Shadow, Zartan, and Firefly to name a few. Those are basically the ones I can see being included in an opening installment of G.I. Joe with Zartan and Firefly having minor roles. Other minor roles would have to go to characters like Major Bludd, Dr. Mindbender, and Tomax & Xamot.

It is my belief that a good script has villains who are equally as strong and compelling as the heroes, just in an antagonistic way. Good development of villainous roles is something I feel is lacking in a lot of movies.

Personally, I feel COBRA should be the more quirky, more real, and more familiar of the two groups. G.I. Joe are technically 'superheroes' who live to a code most people don't understand. It may be sad but the truth is that most of the people who will see this movie are more like the COBRAS than the JOES.

What am I talking about? COBRA is going to get the laughs, COBRA is going to be what people remember. COBRA COMMANDER and COBRA are going to be so ridonkulously ludicrus that people are going to love this movie and not even know it's COBRA COMMANDER and COBRA they are loving.

Don't you love the way the snake thinks.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Another very intresting thing in the whole G.I. Joe-Cobra dynamic is that the biggest fight is between the two supporting characters, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. It is so built up that only one other fight could outdo it... Snake Eyes vs. Cobra Commander.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

I guess no one is ready to deal with COBRA.

 

[toddly6666]

I'm almost thinking that Martin Scorsese should be directing G.I. JOE. Just think of movies with tons of colorful characters, from main ones to side ones. I'm thinking Scorsese movies such as The Departed and Goodfellas. Scorsese gives juicy characteration and dialogues to each actor in his films. I like Stephen Sommers, but I fear the director/producers are going to fear using a lot of characters and stick with just a few, which would be stupid.

The challenge of doing a G.I. JOE movie is using all those characters. Eventhough they are probably going to focus on 5 main good guys and 5 main bad guys, I hope they don't relay too much screentime on B.A.T.S. and generic G.I. JOE soldiers, when they could be using all those juicy characters.

Another fear is that the director/producers may think that the audience with be watching the movie awaiting for each new character to show up "Which Cobra or Joe will they use next?", thus thinking that the audience is not really focusing on the story of the movie. So maybe they will somehow make it clear from the beginning that only few Joes and Cobra characters will be in it, which again would be a mistake. They showed the line-up of characters for the Transformers movie before it was released. I hope they leave some element of surprise of who's going to be in the G.I. Joe flick.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

I'm almost thinking that Martin Scorsese should be directing G.I. JOE. Just think of movies with tons of colorful characters, from main ones to side ones. I'm thinking Scorsese movies such as The Departed and Goodfellas. Scorsese gives juicy characteration and dialogues to each actor in his films. I like Stephen Sommers, but I fear the director/producers are going to fear using a lot of characters and stick with just a few, which would be stupid..

The problem with Scorsese is that neither war films or spin-offs are his thing. The actual best choice would be Mr. Steven Spielberg. If anyone can outdo George Lucas' Star Wars it's Mr. Spielberg. Unfortunately, that likely won't happen. Depending on how his WWII pic, Inglorious Bastards, does Quentin Tarantino could be a very good option if he were interested.

The challenge of doing a G.I. JOE movie is using all those characters. Eventhough they are probably going to focus on 5 main good guys and 5 main bad guys, I hope they don't relay too much screentime on B.A.T.S. and generic G.I. JOE soldiers, when they could be using all those juicy characters..

You sound like you're thinking the same thing I am. Why leave anyone or anything out? Why can't a movie be the single greatest achievement in the history of mankind and why can't it be this movie??? If it's going to end up a franchise then why not set out to make it the best one?

Another fear is that the director/producers may think that the audience with be watching the movie awaiting for each new character to show up "Which Cobra or Joe will they use next?", thus thinking that the audience is not really focusing on the story of the movie. So maybe they will somehow make it clear from the beginning that only few Joes and Cobra characters will be in it, which again would be a mistake. They showed the line-up of characters for the Transformers movie before it was released. I hope they leave some element of surprise of who's going to be in the G.I. Joe flick.

Hmmm, you almost lost me. I see what you're saying though. There are over 250 characters and 1000's of stories in G.I. JOE and I can see why people would be quick lipped to say it can't be done.

I have no doubt most of the characters could be used. Most of the lesser known JOES are elemental type characters. If G.I. JOE is done on multiple terrains, like it should be, then those terrains would have certain charcters with them. Snow battles would have Frostbite, Iceberg, Snow Job, etc..
Sea battles would feature Shipwreck, Wet Suit, and Deep Six and so on. You get the idea.

Many people say the bill would be to high. I say, why wouldn't people want to work on a project of this magnitude for lesser pay? I don't think money would be the problem.

The problem will be getting a story of this magnitude together. The story Larry Hama created in the comics is fine, it's just too broken up for the big screen in my opinion.

My idea is to use all the characters, unchanged, and down to the smallest detail. Settings are all that should be changed from the comics. Using all those characters and all their pro's and con's would give the writer little space to express his creative freedom. That is why, if all the characters are used, this is going to be a looonnnggg series.

The writers biggest opprotunity to express himself is in finding a way to keep people interested and the series fresh and exciting.

The writers goals should be:
1. Incorporate ALL the characters in original form.
2. Take the audience on the longest coaster ride they ever had. Now I
realize many people get sick on roller coasters but this would be much
slower, with more twists and turns though.
3. The ending. The ending has to be the most memorable part. It needs
to give complete closure, otherwise the saga will fail.
4. Open the door to an all new completely different series, a spin-off of
sorts. WHY? Because even though we want the story completely
closed we don't wan to leave the audience hanging. That would be
just plain rude.
5. Be sure it will make money.

It CAN be done but... it has to be taken seriously.

 

[toddly6666]

OPTIMUSCANIBUS, do you think they need to use stars or unknown actors? I guess mixing it up is fine. Here are my choices for Cobra:

Baroness: Mia Kirshner or Famke Janssen. I would rather want Mia Kirshner, because she so deserves an action hero role already (she had a little bit of one in tv's "24"). I like the fact that she is petite, but she can be totally viscious. Good-looking and a great-actess as well. Famke Janssen can certainly pull it off after being in GoldenEye and X-mens.

Cobra Commander: I suppose they could go with Gary Oldman, Ralph Fiennes, or Hugo Weaving.

Destro: I would follow the recent G.I. Joe comic and let this role be played by a black actor, since there aren't too many black Cobra characters. I'm thinking Michael Jai White or Idris Elba.

Tomax & Xamot: The Rayment twin brothers of MATRIX RELOADED. I'm sorry but they ARE Tomax & Xamot!

Zartan: Another underappreciated actor and one of Hollywood's biggest chameleon, Hollywood's "Zartan" - he can play any ethnicity - New Zealand's Cliff Curtus.

Storm Shadow: any one of those trendy kung-fu, good actors in Hollywood or Asia. It doesn't matter really.

Dr. Mindbender: famous German actor, André Hennicke. He's one of the most insane, intense actors i've seen him in a long time. He played the nazi judge in Sophie Scholl. He speaks English too.

Overkill: i'm sure they are gonna put him in the movie for today's kids who watch the Sigma crap. I don't care who plays him, but he's supposedly popular.

Major Bludd: Guy Pierce IS Major Bludd! Creepy, skinny, he's got the accent.

Firefly: I'm stuck on this one. I'm sure they will find someone tough as hell to play this role.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

The main 10-12 characters will, and should, be played by pretty well known stars. The question should be 'Who is going to be the biggest star and what character will he/she play?'

My current choice for Cobra Commander:

Sacha Baron Cohen

If Duke/Mark Wahlberg is going to be the biggest star... that would be bad.

 

[CobraCommander]

I guess no one is ready to deal with COBRA.

Least of all you.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Least of all you.

Fine, but don't come crying around here when the movie sucks balls. Of course, someone of your intelligence would probably enjoy the crap they hand us.

 

[CobraCommander]

You're the one who wants to make a Snake-Eyes movie, incorporating Cobra-La and Slaughter's Marauders. Even the shoddy production team attached to this film isn't that insane.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

You're the one who wants to make a Snake-Eyes movie, incorporating Cobra-La and Slaughter's Marauders. Even the shoddy production team attached to this film isn't that insane.

This is G.I. Joe, THIS IS INSANE!!!

 

[OptimusCannabis]

I think Cobra Commander should have a 6 foot long Cobra as a pet.

 

[toddly6666]

I can picture Stephen Sommers telling his crew "we gotta have snakes everywhere, snakes in the foreground, snakes in the background. Snakes are the theme of Cobra, so bring in the snake expert, lets get those Snakes on the Plane snakes."

 

[Starscreamer]

Ladies and Gentlemen...Cobra Commander

 

[TheVileOne]

Yeah but then people will just complain when his face is covered up like in Spider-man.

Here's a better question:

HOOD

or

FACE PLATE MASK

 

[Starscreamer]

Yeah but then people will just complain when his face is covered up like in Spider-man.

Here's a better question:

HOOD

or

FACE PLATE MASK

Why not both? Face Plate when in battle, Hood when chillin with Destro

 

[toddly6666]

they should both look cool and they both work cinematically.

Here's an example of a good face plate mask from a cool movie:

And the hood has worked for countless KKK shmucks...


What about the Battle Armor?

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Why not both? Face Plate when in battle, Hood when chillin with Destro

Agreed.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Ladies and Gentlemen...Cobra Commander

Can't see the pic, who is it?

 

[Starscreamer]

Wilhem Dafoe

 

[Darthkush]

Wilhem Dafoe

Hmmm....the more that name is suggested, the better an idea i think it is.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Wilhem Dafoe

The only problem I have with that is that he's too perfect for the part. I don't think a war film should be all pretty and gift wrapped with a bow.

THIS ISN'T A MOVIE ABOUT WAR, THIS IS A WAR ABOUT A MOVIE!!!
EVERYTHING SHOULD BE A GAMBLE, EVERYTHING SHOULD BE A REACH!!!
WAR ISN'T EASY AND WAR ISN'T PRETTY.

No Dafoe for the Commander, reach a little bit.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

Cobra is an intresting entity. Most people feel Cobra Commander is the leader he's really not, it's Destro. Destro is the one funding the entire operation with help from Tomax & Xamot. The fact the Cobra Commander is viewed as the leader is a testament to how much charisma the Commander has. He's alot like Hitler.

It should be made clear from the begining that Destro is the top villain but throughout the story Cobra Commander will win the audience over with his charming personality and good looks. Whatever actor plays the Commander will have to give one hell of a performance, seriously.

WHY DOES COBRA COMMANDER OUTSHINE DESTRO:
1. He doesn't like Destro and isn't shy about showing it.
2. He has a personal agenda against the Joes, Snake Eyes inparticular.
3. He desires Baroness but Destro has her.
4. He's the biggest nut in G.I. Joe.

Cobra Commander may be the difference between a good movie and a great movie.

 

[The Question]

I don't think Destro's the leader. Hell, he's not even really a member. He doesn't care about their cause and the only reason he hangs around them so much is because he and Baronness are bumping uglies. He just sells them guns. He'd sell guns to the Joes if he knew the feds wouldn't arrest him.

 

[OptimusCannabis]

I don't think Destro's the leader. Hell, he's not even really a member. He doesn't care about their cause and the only reason he hangs around them so much is because he and Baronness are bumping uglies. He just sells them guns. He'd sell guns to the Joes if he knew the feds wouldn't arrest him.

I think he is. If he was just an arms dealer he wouldn't have been featured so prominently.