G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra - Why it might not suck

[LazloSpeeker]

I was all gung-ho for this movie and pushing for it long before it became official.

When the creative team was announced I wasn't as outraged as some. My first choice would have been for it to be a Tarantino/Stone joint operation but that was probably a bit unrealistic. It's no Uwe Boll so I can't complain much. Sommers and co. aren't the worst choices nor the best. 5/10

The casting pissed off ALOT of G.I. Joe fans and still isn't cool with many. Of the 15 main characters cast, 10 are fully acceptable in my book. The ones I'm not buying yet are Duke/Tatum, Cobra Commander/Levitt, Wayans/Ripcord, Eccleston/Destro, and Taghmaoui/Breaker. Destro and The Commander could both work though if the special effects are done well, which I am sure they will be. Breaker will be acceptable if he doesn't have an accent and provides some decent comic relief like Breaker did in the books and toons. I see little hope for Duke and Ripcord. I mean, Ripcord wasn't black ya know and Wayans in this film scares me to death that it will end up like 'Dungeons & Dragons.' 8/10

The storyline is better than some of the ideas that were floating around. This one was absolutely horrid:
"The script was leaked online by El Mayimbe of Latino Review, who revealed Woods had dropped the Cobra Organization in favor of the Naja / Ryan, a crooked CIA agent. His henchman, Cool Dude, kills Scarlett (who is married to Action Man), and leaves Snake-Eyes mute."
If that had ended up the story I'd have said 0/10. Thankfully it didn't and if what I've heard so far is true - 6/10

Now, I think the costumes are causing the most uproar. Snake Eye's, Baroness, and Storm Shadow seem to be okay. The others are a bit too - Power Rangeresque, of course I didn't like the X-Men costumes either. I'm sure Cobra Commander and Zartan will look good and Destro's mask should be nifty if he actually wears it. But if the G.I. Joes all wear that black body armor for the entire film I will not like this. I mean, where's the camoflauge? Until I see some more pics I have to say - 4/10

So, overall, right now I'd have to say this film is a... 6/10

 

[deathshead2]

I was all gung-ho for this movie and pushing for it long before it became official.

When the creative team was announced I wasn't as outraged as some. My first choice would have been for it to be a Tarantino/Stone joint operation but that was probably a bit unrealistic. It's no Uwe Boll so I can't complain much. Sommers and co. aren't the worst choices nor the best. 5/10

The casting pissed off ALOT of G.I. Joe fans and still isn't cool with many. Of the 15 main characters cast, 10 are fully acceptable in my book. The ones I'm not buying yet are Duke/Tatum, Cobra Commander/Levitt, Wayans/Ripcord, Eccleston/Destro, and Taghmaoui/Breaker. Destro and The Commander could both work though if the special effects are done well, which I am sure they will be. Breaker will be acceptable if he doesn't have an accent and provides some decent comic relief like Breaker did in the books and toons. I see little hope for Duke and Ripcord. I mean, Ripcord wasn't black ya know and Wayans in this film scares me to death that it will end up like 'Dungeons & Dragons.' 8/10

The storyline is better than some of the ideas that were floating around. This one was absolutely horrid:
"The script was leaked online by El Mayimbe of Latino Review, who revealed Woods had dropped the Cobra Organization in favor of the Naja / Ryan, a crooked CIA agent. His henchman, Cool Dude, kills Scarlett (who is married to Action Man), and leaves Snake-Eyes mute."
If that had ended up the story I'd have said 0/10. Thankfully it didn't and if what I've heard so far is true - 6/10

Now, I think the costumes are causing the most uproar. Snake Eye's, Baroness, and Storm Shadow seem to be okay. The others are a bit too - Power Rangeresque, of course I didn't like the X-Men costumes either. I'm sure Cobra Commander and Zartan will look good and Destro's mask should be nifty if he actually wears it. But if the G.I. Joes all wear that black body armor for the entire film I will not like this. I mean, where's the camoflauge? Until I see some more pics I have to say - 4/10

So, overall, right now I'd have to say this film is a... 6/10

It seems you've never watched an episode of Power rangers in your life. They wear helmets that cover their whole face the joes don't. The Power rangers wear colorful costumes the Joes wear only black.

 

[TwoOfAKind]

^^ You responded to correct him on Power Rangers

 

[deathshead2]

^^ You responded to correct him on Power Rangers

I like Power rangers, that and it's a terrible comparison.

 

[LazloSpeeker]

I like Power rangers, that and it's a terrible comparison.

Power Rangers is the gayest f'n kid's show i've ever seen.

 

[DieSmiling]

I was obsessed with Power Rangers... When I was f'n 7...

 

[Nivek]

I cant believe they screwed up G.I. Joe, hell, I knew as soon as I seen they had a sculpted face on Snake Eyes that the movie went from possibly okay to the much used "Doomed". How in the hell do you mess this up?

 

[LazloSpeeker]

I cant believe they screwed up G.I. Joe, hell, I knew as soon as I seen they had a sculpted face on Snake Eyes that the movie went from possibly okay to the much used "Doomed". How in the hell do you mess this up?

I don't think it's doomed, like I said - right now I see it as a 6/10 movie with 'up' as the only place to go.

 

[deathshead2]

Power Rangers is the gayest f'n kid's show i've ever seen.

And your the gayest person i've read on the internet. High five for you.

 

[LazloSpeeker]

And your the gayest person i've read on the internet. High five for you.

Really?

WOOHOO!!! LAZLO SPEEKER IS #1, LAZLO SPEEKER IS #1!!!

 

[Goodfellas]

And your the gayest person i've read on the internet. High five for you.

Coming from a guy who just admitted he still likes Power Rangers i find that assumption you made very amusing

 

[TekkamanBlade]

What's with the leather costumes? It's like the x-men movie if not the power rangers.

The reason people don't like the costumes is because they look like a super-hero team and not a military group. In the cartoon they mostly wear military garb and that seems like it would work on screen much better than full, black leather S&M suits.

 

[zeptron]

Coming from a guy who just admitted he still likes Power Rangers i find that assumption you made very amusing

You're on an internet message board dedicated to superheroes and you wanna judge this guy?

 

[TripXyDE]

This thread should be called --- "OH YEAH...we REALIZE that this movie is INDEED DOOMED TO BE A FAILURE"

 

[Raiden]

As a GI JOE fan since the 80's, this movie seems to have more cons than pros. I'm not optimistic that this will turn out to be good (esp. after the revelation of Snakeyes' mask adding a needless mouth). Hopefully it will prove me wrong, but I rather doubt it.

 

[Lazlo Panaflex]

I'm a big Joe fan of the 80's, I have all the Marvel comics, DVD's but seeing recent pictures doesn't get my hopes up, this movie turns out to be another Street Fighter.

We already had a G.I.Joe movie sort of back in '85 and it was called The Delta Force starring Chuck Norris.

 

[BlackOpsTengu]

This movie is going to be another (Micheal Bay) Transformers movie. If you DON'T constantly compare it to the cartoon or comic over every fersnicking detail, you're going to have a good time. If a movie has ninjas and the Eiffel tower exploding, it's gonna be fun to watch regardless as to its quality. And newsflash, the cartoon (which most people remember over the comic) wasn't exactly Shakespeare.

I love the comics and the cartoon as much as the next guy (and the hilarious parodies of them), but that G.I. Joe isn't going to be the one we seen on screen.

Just turn off your brain, go with it, and watch the pretty exploding things.

 

[Ryo Jin]

Power Rangers American is dumb. Now Super Sentai, the original name in Japan, is actually still fun to watch on occasion. Super Sentai, Ultraman, Kamen Rider, they're the superheroes of Japan.

On topic, we pretty much already had a G.I. Joe vs. Cobra-esque movie in '94 called "Street Fighter." That movie was definitely more G.I. Joe than Street Fighter, yet in every bad way imaginable.

 

[UltimateJustin]

This movie is going to be another (Micheal Bay) Transformers movie. If a movie has ninjas and the Eiffel tower exploding, it's gonna be fun to watch regardless as to its quality. And newsflash, the cartoon (which most people remember over the comic) wasn't exactly Shakespeare.

I wish this was going to be another Transformers. That movie did totally abuse the character designs, but made up for it with comedic laughs and suspenseful action. It also twisted alot of the story around, so it was pretty unfaithful, just like this G.I. Joe movie... and Michael Bay is usually a terrible director but never in his life has he even attempted to be as awful as Van Helsing. Even though the TF looked completely different than their 80's counterparts, they still looked like cool robots. The G.I. Joe in this don't look like cool anything. They actually look like a bunch of loser actors going to play Lazer Quest.

 

[UltimateJustin]

Power Rangers American is dumb. Now Super Sentai, the original name in Japan, is actually still fun to watch on occasion. Super Sentai, Ultraman, Kamen Rider, they're the superheroes of Japan.

On topic, we pretty much already had a G.I. Joe vs. Cobra-esque movie in '94 called "Street Fighter." That movie was definitely more G.I. Joe than Street Fighter, yet in every bad way imaginable.

We also had a G.I. Joe movie called G.I. Joe: The Movie.

P.S. I was once a man.

 

[Jake Cassidy]

I wish this was going to be another Transformers. That movie did totally abuse the character designs, but made up for it with comedic laughs and suspenseful action. It also twisted alot of the story around, so it was pretty unfaithful, just like this G.I. Joe movie... and Michael Bay is usually a terrible director but never in his life has he even attempted to be as awful as Van Helsing. Even though the TF looked completely different than their 80's counterparts, they still looked like cool robots. The G.I. Joe in this don't look like cool anything. They actually look like a bunch of loser actors going to play Lazer Quest.

Character designs for Transformers have changed a lot of times over the years, so that shouldn't be a problem. The movie wasn't an adaptation of the G1 cartoon. It was an adaptation of Transformers, in general. G1, the comics, Beast Wars, Armada, etc. all had different continuities and versions of characters. The movie was just another one. G.I. Joe is the same.

I have nothing against Stephen Sommers. Yes, he's not the best, but he's not that horrible, either. I like The Mummy movies (first 1 was awesome, imo), Van Helsing and Deep Rising (guilty pleasures).

 

[BlackLantern]

The best thing to come out of this film is the COBRA refrigerator magnet I got at SDCC this summer

 

[MegaGeek]

I feel sorry for the guy who started this thread. You tried so hard and I respect you opinion, BUT..... HAVE YOU @*@&#ING SEEN THE PICTURE OF MARLON @*#&ING WAYANS?!?!?!?!? THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO BE AN EPIC FAILURE AND TOTAL EMBARASSMENT TO THE GI JOE FRANCHISE! I feel sorry for all the actors that are never going to work in Hollywood again after this piece of !*@% comes out. They should not just fire but KILL their agents

 

[roach]

What's with the leather costumes? It's like the x-men movie if not the power rangers.

The reason people don't like the costumes is because they look like a super-hero team and not a military group. In the cartoon they mostly wear military garb and that seems like it would work on screen much better than full, black leather S&M suits.

i think you need to go back and look at the cartoon costumes. None of which are being worn by today's military. I'd take the black suits over a native american with full headress and a guy with no shirt, no shoes and parachute pants...but that just me

 

[roach]

I feel sorry for the guy who started this thread. You tried so hard and I respect you opinion, BUT..... HAVE YOU @*@&#ING SEEN THE PICTURE OF MARLON @*#&ING WAYANS?!?!?!?!? THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO BE AN EPIC FAILURE AND TOTAL EMBARASSMENT TO THE GI JOE FRANCHISE! I feel sorry for all the actors that are never going to work in Hollywood again after this piece of !*@% comes out. They should not just fire but KILL their agents

you know ppl said the same thing months before Transformers