How do you react when something like this happens?

[Sugarculted]

I would've ran her over after dropping her off.
Seriously though, The Mask...you don't deserve that. Do the dumping, without hesitation else it could get worse. Don't get trapped, don't be the vulnerable one. Just come out and say it

 

[DV8]

dude, mask; don't put up with this broad anymore . . . just leave her the fk alone; don't return her calls, fk her; it's over.

I thought you weren't even supposed to know that she was w/ her ex on this trip how did she even attempt to explain that photo??

you're letting yourself get walked all over, man . . . don't even waste the energy of giving her the satisfaction of breaking it off . . . this b1tch sucks : "I'll call you when I'm alone" seriously, don't go beating yourself up more by having this problem in the back of your head; it's not healthy, especially in your condition . . . she sucks, she could have at least been honest w/ you; she thinks she's doing you a favor to not have to confront her own guilt; FK her . . .

 

[spideyboy_1111]

Ok. Here is what happened today.

She came back and immediately went to her own place to "freshen-up", and then called me to ask me for a lift to her sister's. So, we're in the car, I'm trying my best to remain cool, my breathing is hard, fast, forced. I can't concentrate on the road, when suddenly, her phone starts to ring. I look, and the Caller ID is that of her Ex's. I don't say anything, just look on. She says, "I can't talk right now. I promise I'll call you as soon as I'm alone."

I keep driving. Thinking the worst things that a person in my position could think of. The roads roll on, and suddenly her phone rings again. It's him again. She says, "Can we please talk about it later? Please?" *laughs* "Come on, don't do this. Please? I'll call you. Just be patient." *smiles* "Okay. Talk to you asap."

I finally decide to ask who it is. She says it's her Ex. No expression. Nothing. Just a statement of fact. I obviously ask what he wants. She says, "Nothing." I told her that it didn't sound like nothing, and she gave a nasty expression and said, "I told you, nothing!"

So, I drop it, and keep driving. It's eating me up inside, but I'm just driving. Then, of all the things she could've done, she said, "Do you want to see pictures of Florida?" I turned, and the first picture I see is her with her Ex on the beach, his arms around her, her head on his shoulder.

That killed me, right there. I just said (in true Spider-Man style) - "Yeah. That's what every boyfriend wants to see..."

She snatched it away from me, and sat all grumpily in the car. Then, I dropped her off at her office, coz suddenly she had something to take care of there. As I was turning the car, she waved me to stop. I did. She told me that she had a gift for me and that it would be best if I came by and took her home in the afternoon. I was shocked.

I froze right there. Waited a couple of seconds before I could muster the strength to say, "No. I can't. I have a doctor's appointment. Remember?" She gave me the same nasty look as before, and said, "Fine. Whatever." and just walked away.

I drove around for a while. Now I'm at a diner contemplating what a gigantic Loser I am. I can't help but feel frail, and vulnerable.

Does anyone deserve to be treated like this?

no one deserves to be treated like that, but sorry kinda lost some respect for ya for sitting there and taking it rather then just friggin telling her how you feel... instead you 2 are playing stupid little games back and forth and it's pretty retarted

 

[spideyboy_1111]

Ehhhhh, I'll agree she's an idiot but I don't think it's because she doesn't know what she's doing. She wants her cake and eat it too, quite obviously.

jag

that expression sucks... who the frick would want a cake and not be able to eat it? lol (this is just an off topic comment btw... )

 

[Sugarculted]

no one deserves to be treated like that, but sorry kinda lost some respect for ya for sitting there and taking it rather then just friggin telling her how you feel... instead you 2 are playing stupid little games back and forth and it's pretty retarted

I know it's a pretty damn big problem he needs to sort out, but I can't blame him for hesitating. This is the woman he's loved for two years, and bringing something up which is as serious as that takes a lot of courage.

He needs to sit down with her, and tell her straight how he feels. Getting into a discussion whilst he's driving, isn't the best idea.

 

[spideyboy_1111]

I know it's a pretty damn big problem he needs to sort out, but I can't blame him for hesitating. This is the woman he's loved for two years, and bringing something up which is as serious as that takes a lot of courage.

He needs to sit down with her, and tell her straight how he feels. Getting into a discussion whilst he's driving, isn't the best idea.

no it's not, but he friggin lets her beat him up about it... he lets her get away with everything.. he does things for her... if i was driving her somewhere and she was doing that .. i'd pull off the side of the road and tell her how i feel right then and there... and wouldnt let her beat around the bush like he's letting her do. especially if they've been dating 2 years, the way there both acting is ridiculous

 

[spideyboy_1111]

BTW.... if i was totally in his shoes... i'd probably say the worse friggin thing imaginable to her... because i'm evil like that at times... i'd say "yup, have fun screwing ur ex when everytime you put your lips against his you think of what you did to me after i'm gone"

 

[Darthphere]

So did you dump the ***** yet?

 

[EdRyder]

Been there done that.Girlfriend went to Jamaica with her friend came home with all the prezzies like Rum and a glass pipe and some nick nacks,..Then she lays it on me that the Ex went with them.So I know how you feel, like a shmo
Let me put it to you like this:You know when they say life is to short to hold a grudge?
Lifes to short for this lifes to short for that,..You're actually sick! So lifes far far too short to tolerate that level of ********!
Remember that depression/sadness is just rage turned inward.Own that rage son,and unleash it upon someone when applicable.

 

[Colossal Spoons]

I wanna know that this surprise was

Anybody know how old these kids are?

 

[The Mask]

I've done what was needed. It's all over. Last night, I asked her to come over to my place. She was being really nice to me (out of the blue!) and kept referring to me as, "sweety", and "honey", words which she had never used before. I sat her down, and asked her what she was doing in Florida, and why she couldn't give a straight answer. The best she came up with was, "I didn't want you to worry." I didn't buy it for a second. I needed to know what was going on, so, when she was in the bathroom, I took a hold of her cell and viewed her text messages. It was filled with her Ex's messages, and their various conversations. From what I could gather, he was going to fly back during the weekend, and they'd meet.

I found a message from her which said, "I miss you so much. I wish I could fly back right now. I hate where I am."

I put down the cell, and waited for her to come back. When she did, I calmly told her that I'd hired a P.I in Florida, and he had reported to me about her whereabouts. Her expression changed, and she yelled at me for being a jackass, and for not trusting her or respecting her privacy. She said I was slime, and my filthy mind needed scrubbing, and whatnot.

I told her that if she felt that strongly about it, she could just get the hell out. She spilt a strand of guilt tears, and then said, "I can't make it without you."

I laughed. Told her to call the movers, and to get her stuff out of my apartment. She wouldn't leave. Just stood there with tear-filled eyes, and said, "I'm just confused. Don't punish me for not knowing what to do. Please. I need you to survive."

"But you need Z to have fun, and enjoy your mundane life, is that it? Get out. I've had enough of you. "

She left, rather abruptly at that point. On her way out she called me a lot of things I can't say here without the censors going off.

I sat down at the couch, opened a chilled soda, and gulped it down as fast as I could. Then, ran across the room, and puked dramatically into the toilet. Couldn't sleep a minute last night.

But I guess better days are ahead.

 

[jaguarr]

The hard part is over, Mask. You did the right thing, my friend. You've got to take care of yourself and your health and this girl obviously doesn't have any of that in mind and is not committed to your relationship. Well done. We're here for you if you just need to vent over the coming weeks as you process all this. Ending a relationship is stressful, no matter the circumstances. There are a number of us here who have been in similar situations; consider us your support group. From what you read in her texts and what she said to you, she was definitely wanting to have her cake and eat it to. At worst she was just using you to keep a roof over her head and to provide emotional support and stability while she ran around on you. Either way, not cool. You did the right thing.

jag

 

[Erzengel]

Good job, kicking her to the curb.

Better days are ahead.

You did the right thing though.

 

[Speedin Bullet]

Well done! A word of advice from someone who has been there, make sure you are there when she gets her crap out. She'll say, "but this IS mine"..."I thought this was a gift"...etc. And if you aren't there and she's a b*tch like mine was she'll steal some things you won't be able to replace.

 

[jaguarr]

Well done! A word of advice from someone who has been there, make sure you are there when she gets her crap out. She'll say, "but this IS mine"..."I thought this was a gift"...etc. And if you aren't there and she's a b*tch like mine was she'll steal some things you won't be able to replace.

Good advice. I'd take it a step further and box all of her sh1t up FOR her before she returns and put it all in one central location so that she has minimal time in the house/apartment when she does come to get her stuff.

jag

 

[Darthphere]

I've done what was needed. It's all over. Last night, I asked her to come over to my place. She was being really nice to me (out of the blue!) and kept referring to me as, "sweety", and "honey", words which she had never used before. I sat her down, and asked her what she was doing in Florida, and why she couldn't give a straight answer. The best she came up with was, "I didn't want you to worry." I didn't buy it for a second. I needed to know what was going on, so, when she was in the bathroom, I took a hold of her cell and viewed her text messages. It was filled with her Ex's messages, and their various conversations. From what I could gather, he was going to fly back during the weekend, and they'd meet.

I found a message from her which said, "I miss you so much. I wish I could fly back right now. I hate where I am."

I put down the cell, and waited for her to come back. When she did, I calmly told her that I'd hired a P.I in Florida, and he had reported to me about her whereabouts. Her expression changed, and she yelled at me for being a jackass, and for not trusting her or respecting her privacy. She said I was slime, and my filthy mind needed scrubbing, and whatnot.

I told her that if she felt that strongly about it, she could just get the hell out. She spilt a strand of guilt tears, and then said, "I can't make it without you."

I laughed. Told her to call the movers, and to get her stuff out of my apartment. She wouldn't leave. Just stood there with tear-filled eyes, and said, "I'm just confused. Don't punish me for not knowing what to do. Please. I need you to survive."

"But you need Z to have fun, and enjoy your mundane life, is that it? Get out. I've had enough of you. "

She left, rather abruptly at that point. On her way out she called me a lot of things I can't say here without the censors going off.

I sat down at the couch, opened a chilled soda, and gulped it down as fast as I could. Then, ran across the room, and puked dramatically into the toilet. Couldn't sleep a minute last night.

But I guess better days are ahead.

To be honest, I'm happy you ended it, but disappointed you didn't confront her directly and actually get her to admit anything. Either way, in her eyes she wins. She got what she wanted, she got you to break up with her, so she's absolved of any guilt. But in life, you're the winner. Now, take care of yourself, and try to move on. It won't be easy, but like Jag said, we're here.

 

[Darthphere]

Good advice. I'd take it a step further and box all of her sh1t up FOR her before she returns and put it all in one central location so that she has minimal time in the house/apartment when she does come to get her stuff.

jag

I'd leave it on the porch, and change the locks immediately.

 

[Erzengel]

And that she doesn't break any of your important stuff.

 

[The Spawn]

And she could leave your water running and the phone off the hook.

 

[jaguarr]

I'd leave it on the porch, and change the locks immediately.

Changing the locks immediately is another good idea. Don't want her sneaking in while you're not there. I'd also make sure neighbors knew that she had been evicted and wasn't welcome because she was cheating and if they see her around to let you know.

jag

 

[Erzengel]

I'd leave it on the porch, and change the locks immediately.

Oooh, I like this even better.

 

[spike spiegel]

To be honest, I'm happy you ended it, but disappointed you didn't confront her directly and actually get her to admit anything. Either way, in her eyes she wins. She got what she wanted, she got you to break up with her, so she's absolved of any guilt. But in life, you're the winner. Now, take care of yourself, and try to move on. It won't be easy, but like Jag said, we're here.

Agreed. Closure is very significant. Satisfaction in kicking her out like that, but no diect confrontation, no resolving the conflict. I think those two things ought to happen. I don't know, I'm not a relationship expert, or an expert on life. But hopefully a second meeting between the two of you can be more composed, as hard as that will be. And, also, hopefully long-lasting grudges or anger won't be a part of this, and there can be big chance for forgiveness in the end of it all.

But one way or another I hope you'll be taking good care of yourself, without too much stress on the side. The emotional distress immediately after a break-up is devastating, but, feelings pass and fade, and most of the time we under-estimate our coping abilities. But I think you already know that.

Best of things to you.

 

[Erzengel]

I don't think a second meeting is needed.

I may not agree with the whole PI business or looking at her phone but the ends justify the means sometimes.

He doesn't need to meet her again.

 

[William_C]

Agreed. Closure is very significant. Satisfaction in kicking her out like that, but no diect confrontation, no resolving the conflict. I think those two things ought to happen. I don't know, I'm not a relationship expert, or an expert on life. But hopefully a second meeting between the two of you can be more composed, as hard as that will be. And, also, hopefully long-lasting grudges or anger won't be a part of this, and there can be big chance for forgiveness in the end of it all.

But one way or another I hope you'll be taking good care of yourself, without too much stress on the side. The emotional distress immediately after a break-up is devastating, but, feelings pass and fade, and most of the time we under-estimate our coping abilities. But I think you already know that.

Best of things to you.

To be honest, I'm happy you ended it, but disappointed you didn't confront her directly and actually get her to admit anything. Either way, in her eyes she wins. She got what she wanted, she got you to break up with her, so she's absolved of any guilt. But in life, you're the winner. Now, take care of yourself, and try to move on. It won't be easy, but like Jag said, we're here.

But as long as you personally feel like you dont need or care to know what really happened, I think you wont need to worry. I know personally, I'd have found out first, get her to spill the jelly beans and then took it from there. That last text you mentioned though, about her hating where she is right now - that really, really would've raised some signals and thats where I'd start.

 

[Darthphere]

Yeah, another meeting would just put more strain on him emotionally and he needs to look out for himself at this point. He should have gotten that done, it's too late now, it doesn't matter, it's time to move on.