How do you react when something like this happens?

[Remy LeBeau X3]

aww man, you need to find another girl to hang out with to make your so called gf jealous. that is a real kicker. let her know how it feels to be questioning. the benefit of this is you can find out how she feels about everything in a general sense. if she is completely cool and doesn't seem to care, it's because she doesn't and is probably with her ex on the side. so then dump her. if it bothers her and she questions you, then it means she does care about you, but keep in mind that she may still be with her ex. this reaction will set up a serious talk you'll have soon. or she'll get balling pissed and question you all the time and seem angry/frustrated. this would be her caring for you and leaning towards the "not with the ex" situation, which still is slim and may be the case even if.

give her the cold shoulder treatment. just make her jealous. the best thing to do is to make her feel dumb about what she's doing if you are "doing" it to.

 

[William_C]

Well, its obvious he cares for her Viper. If he didnt care about her, this would've been over back in Feb. probably. I can empathize, because I've been in relationships where the girl is contacted by an ex and they might go hang out. And I, like Mask, dont want to be overbearing or come off like I'm trying to stop her from having friends y'know? But no matter how cool we try to be with it, there is always that inkling in the back, that what if though?

Mask dont let her take the kindness for granted. Even if she truly isnt, dont let her think she can. Stay confindent...and update soon

 

[jaguarr]

aww man, you need to find another girl to hang out with to make your so called gf jealous.

Mmm....no. Not worth all the trouble, effort and drama. Just because she's playing all these games doesn't mean he should, too. A Zero Tolerance policy for this kind of crap is a must. Things like this are a detriment to a person and shouldn't be tolerated but rather eliminated. Drop it all and move on with your life, pursuing more positive things and people who who will reciprocate your love and actions rather than try to be manipulative and pull this sort of thing.

jag

 

[jaguarr]

Well, its obvious he cares for her Viper. If he didnt care about her, this would've been over back in Feb. probably. I can empathize, because I've been in relationships where the girl is contacted by an ex and they might go hang out. And I, like Mask, dont want to be overbearing or come off like I'm trying to stop her from having friends y'know? But no matter how cool we try to be with it, there is always that inkling in the back, that what if though?

Mask dont let her take the kindness for granted. Even if she truly isnt, dont let her think she can. Stay confindent...and update soon

There is a difference between being friends with an ex and running around with him somewhat secretively to the point that she goes on an out of state trip to a family member's wedding and not even telling her CURRENT boyfriend that she's doing so, though. My wife and I are able to maintain good friendships with ex's on BOTH sides TOGETHER, as a couple, where everyone is friends and nothing is going on to break the trust and fidelity we have with one another. And our ex's respect that and appreciate it. That's not what this girl is doing to Mask.

jag

 

[SuBe]

Mmm....no. Not worth all the trouble, effort and drama. Just because she's playing all these games doesn't mean he should, too. A Zero Tolerance policy for this kind of crap is a must. Things like this are a detriment to a person and shouldn't be tolerated but rather eliminated. Drop it all and move on with your life, pursuing more positive things and people who who will reciprocate your love and actions rather than try to be manipulative and pull this sort of thing.

jag

Agreed. No reason to play games. You are much more mature than that. BJ, then leave.

 

[Speedin Bullet]

I know this guy that for a few hundered dollars will make the ex or your gf disappear.

 

[Viper81]

Well, its obvious he cares for her Viper. If he didnt care about her, this would've been over back in Feb. probably. I can empathize, because I've been in relationships where the girl is contacted by an ex and they might go hang out. And I, like Mask, dont want to be overbearing or come off like I'm trying to stop her from having friends y'know? But no matter how cool we try to be with it, there is always that inkling in the back, that what if though?

Mask dont let her take the kindness for granted. Even if she truly isnt, dont let her think she can. Stay confindent...and update soon

Couple things:

1. I know it's hard to break away when you truly care for someone. ESPECIALLY if you're in the situation where your health is failing as well. It can be overwhelming. I never said it would be easy, I'm just saying that it's only going to get WORSE and that the emotional toll of breaking it off entirely is actually EASIER than what he is going through right now.

2. I do NOT tolerate friendships with exes. In no way, no how. I don't care if it makes me seem controlling or what. I don't contact any of my exes and I expect her to do the same. No, I don't expect her to STOP talking to an ex if she's talking to him when I get with her, but IF I discover there is contact with an ex, I bail as soon as I discover it. I want someone who has no emotional ties to the past and is looking to the future. Remaining friends with an ex is not congruent with what I want, so I tend to just end things when I discover that there is contact with an ex. And ESPECIALLY if the contact starts up WHILE I am in a relationship with her. That is just not a good sign, and nobody should tolerate that. it's not overbearing or controlling. In fact, it WAS probably just a test. Girls are notorious for pushing the envelope to see just how far they can go. When he didn't push back she just kept going further and further and WON'T stop until he DOES push back. But now it's way too late. The relationship is effectively destroyed.

 

[William_C]

There is a difference between being friends with an ex and running around with him somewhat secretively to the point that she goes on an out of state trip to a family member's wedding and not even telling her CURRENT boyfriend that she's doing so, though. My wife and I are able to maintain good friendships with ex's on BOTH sides TOGETHER, as a couple, where everyone is friends and nothing is going on to break the trust and fidelity we have with one another. And our ex's respect that and appreciate it. That's not what this girl is doing to Mask.

jag

Thats not a little akward? I'm friends with a few of my ex girlfriends boyfriends, but its always a weird feeling for me if all of us are together.

Couple things:



1. I know it's hard to break away when you truly care for someone. ESPECIALLY if you're in the situation where your health is failing as well. It can be overwhelming. I never said it would be easy, I'm just saying that it's only going to get WORSE and that the emotional toll of breaking it off entirely is actually EASIER than what he is going through right now.



2. I do NOT tolerate friendships with exes. In no way, no how. I don't care if it makes me seem controlling or what. I don't contact any of my exes and I expect her to do the same. No, I don't expect her to STOP talking to an ex if she's talking to him when I get with her, but IF I discover there is contact with an ex, I bail as soon as I discover it. I want someone who has no emotional ties to the past and is looking to the future. Remaining friends with an ex is not congruent with what I want, so I tend to just end things when I discover that there is contact with an ex. And ESPECIALLY if the contact starts up WHILE I am in a relationship with her. That is just not a good sign, and nobody should tolerate that. it's not overbearing or controlling. In fact, it WAS probably just a test. Girls are notorious for pushing the envelope to see just how far they can go. When he didn't push back she just kept going further and further and WON'T stop until he DOES push back. But now it's way too late. The relationship is effectively destroyed.

Ahh, when you put it that way, I think I'm in the same boat as you. Because when I get with a girl, I want her to tell me that her ex was **** and she'd never ever think about dating him again because he was ****. Girls are, I agree again, do want to see what guy's reactions will be. I dont know if thats the same in marriage, but in bf/gf relationships they do like to test to see if they themselves will be tested, or like you siad will be pushed back. I think eventually Mask is going to push back, whether it be too late or not. I could picture him in the car when she answered the phone, gripping the steering wheel and gritting his teeth. After that drive to work, after the calls, after that picture, I'd think that ending the relationship now, does seem like it'd be best. I want to say get closure for himself and then end it so that way he wont have questions left to ask himself when he's moving on

 

[jaguarr]

Thats not a little akward? I'm friends with a few of my ex girlfriends boyfriends, but its always a weird feeling for me if all of us are together.

To be honest, not really. It's not something I was every very good at with past girlfriends but it's very different with my wife. She and I have such an amazing relationship and go out of our way to make sure we both know that we're committed to one another that it hasn't been weird at all. Although, the exes of ours that we are friends with all live in different cities so it's not like we see and hang out with them on a regular basis, anyway. We don't even hear from them all that often, either, anymore, as they've found new significant others and got wrapped up with that and lost contact with a lot of their friends (local to where they live and otherwise) in the process (not uncommon for people in relationships they love to do).

jag

 

[amazingfantasy15]

This chick deserves some nasty payback and while this isn't nearly enough, it's the best I can think of, besides the BJ break up of course. Be all nice to her and say you want to take her out to nice dinner, you've got a "surprise" for her. Take her to a really nice, expensive restaurant, order something really expensive, a nice bottle of wine, after the main course is finished, excuse your self to the bathroom leaving a note to her on the table that says, "Thanks for the dinner b*tch, have fun with your "ex"!" and dine and dash on her cheating @$$. Best thing is not only will she have to pick up the check, try to push it over the $200 mark, but she'll also be stuck without a ride at the restaurant. She'll call, probably come over, but never answer her calls ever again or answer the door to her.

 

[Figs]

This chick deserves some nasty payback and while this isn't nearly enough, it's the best I can think of, besides the BJ break up of course. Be all nice to her and say you want to take her out to nice dinner, you've got a "surprise" for her. Take her to a really nice, expensive restaurant, order something really expensive, a nice bottle of wine, after the main course is finished, excuse your self to the bathroom leaving a note to her on the table that says, "Thanks for the dinner b*tch, have fun with your "ex"!" and dine and dash on her cheating @$$. Best thing is not only will she have to pick up the check, try to push it over the $200 mark, but she'll also be stuck without a ride at the restaurant. She'll call, probably come over, but never answer her calls ever again or answer the door to her.

YES!!! That gets two thumbs up.

Also, if you can, try to get the head before you go into the restaurant.t:

 

[Speedin Bullet]

YES!!! That gets two thumbs up.

Also, if you can, try to get the head before you go into the restaurant.t:

Or in the restaurant

 

[William_C]

-doublepost-

 

[William_C]

To be honest, not really. It's not something I was every very good at with past girlfriends but it's very different with my wife. She and I have such an amazing relationship and go out of our way to make sure we both know that we're committed to one another that it hasn't been weird at all. Although, the exes of ours that we are friends with all live in different cities so it's not like we see and hang out with them on a regular basis, anyway. We don't even hear from them all that often, either, anymore, as they've found new significant others and got wrapped up with that and lost contact with a lot of their friends (local to where they live and otherwise) in the process (not uncommon for people in relationships they love to do).

jag

No sarcasm, but thats a beautiful thing. I feel like I should congratulate you. Seriously.

 

[jaguarr]

No sarcasm, but thats a beautiful thing. I feel like I should congratulate you. Seriously.

Thanks, man. It IS a beautiful thing, even moreso because our relationship comes very easy to us. We've only had one fight in over five years together. We were absolutely made for each other and I feel very fortunate to have found her.

jag

 

[amazingfantasy15]

This chick deserves some nasty payback and while this isn't nearly enough, it's the best I can think of, besides the BJ break up of course. Be all nice to her and say you want to take her out to nice dinner, you've got a "surprise" for her. Take her to a really nice, expensive restaurant, order something really expensive, a nice bottle of wine, after the main course is finished, excuse your self to the bathroom leaving a note to her on the table that says, "Thanks for the dinner b*tch, have fun with your "ex"!" and dine and dash on her cheating @$$. Best thing is not only will she have to pick up the check, try to push it over the $200 mark, but she'll also be stuck without a ride at the restaurant. She'll call, probably come over, but never answer her calls ever again or answer the door to her.

Actually thinking about it, she doesn't deserve a hand written note, send her text while you're starting the car.

 

[jaguarr]

Actually thinking about it, she doesn't deserve a hand written note, send her text while you're starting the car.

Text messages cost money, son!

jag

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Text messages cost money, son!

jag

Really? I get like 300 or so a month free and never come close to hitting that mark. Besides it not gonna cost nearly as much as she'll be payin' for dinner.

 

[jaguarr]

Really? I get like 300 or so a month free and never come close to hitting that mark. Besides it not gonna cost nearly as much as she'll be payin' for dinner.

I actually like the WTF Factor of just disappearing after dinner. No explanations. No returned calls. No answering the door for her. Just...disappear. She'll know why she got what she did but it will fry her brain and probably make her cry and regret what she did.

jag

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I actually like the WTF Factor of just disappearing after dinner. No explanations. No returned calls. No answering the door for her. Just...disappear. She'll know why she got what she did but it will fry her brain and probably make her cry and regret what she did.

jag

But in my original post I said to leave a note on the table saying "Thanks for dinner b*tch, have fun with your "ex"!" Just thought maybe a text is even more impersonal. It's kinda that one last f you, that'll also get her a small taste of the angry he's been feeling about this, then regret and even more anger when he doesn't respond to calls or visits $#!t like that.

 

[spike spiegel]

Hey Mask, I'm sorry to hear about all of this. I'm trying to put myself in your place. And I think you need to get to the bottom of it, as soon as possible. Like you said, it's not a great addition to your health problems, and what she's doing isn't right. She should be upfront with you about it. If you feel your heart throbbing about it, I think you should probably bring it up, and keep bringing it up, until you feel completely assured. From reading your two posts I think it's all suspicious, and if you feel that something's a bit funny, it probably is. This can be emotional cheating, or worse. To me you seem like the guy who wants to make things work, forgive, and just get past all of it with the woman you love, and that's why you're still in it with her, contrary to what some people in this thread are advising you to do. And that's awesome, man. We will all do things we regret terribly. Whatever will happen, I'll keep the situation in my prayers.

 

[Darthphere]

Mask, just remember, if you do anything don't do the whole going crazy breakup thing.

 

[Erzengel]

And don't hit her over the head with a spade shovel, wait until dark, drive her body to a deserted location and bury her.

 

[Darthphere]

And don't hit her over the head with a spade shovel, wait until dark, drive her body to a deserted location and bury her.

Yeah, drive her to the place first.

 

[Twin2]

Just hire some movers to take all of her stuff and put it out in front the next time she leaves, and when she comes home and asks why tell her you took the liberty in helping her move her stuff out since she seemed so interested in getting out of your life.