Mee
2 E's are better than 1
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2005
- Messages
- 18,896
- Reaction score
- 3
- Points
- 33
As you've probably all noticed, Hype News photoshop guy BRUTAL, has gone missing. As the Hype's top (and yes, only) reporter, plus his dearest closest bestest friend besides all the hookers, I'm on an ongoing quest to find BRUTAL, and bring him back to us. Dead or alive! If we had a special effects budget, there woulda been a lightning strike right there. It woulda been totally rad. Anyway, back to BRUTAL.
The first question I asked myself was-
Why would BRUTAL leave without giving any notice? Goodbye threads are a staple of the Hype! This leads me to believe he didn't plan on being gone as long as he has. Either that, or he's a big jerk.
Secondly, what does BRUTAL do? What would draw him away? Well, BRUTAL does photoshop crap, and he hits on women. No photoshop project would take this long, so I'm assuming this involves a woman. Which led me to...
What kind of women does BRUTAL like? Well here's an excerpt from an old Hype News staff meeting-
Not much help there. Also, he never did let me borrow his pen.
I hatched an idea to poll some ladyfolk, to better understand the appeal of BRUTAL. To see if it were possible he is indeed off with one of them.
If BRUTAL were wandering the globe, and happened to come to your house, would you let him stay?
I posed ^this question to some famous Hype ladies.
Blue eyed blonde and black guy liker, AndThePickles said-
Yes, I would, as long as he sleeps in the guest room.
Well, strike one for BRUTAL.
Moderator of flirting, DBella said-
Only for him to clean my house. Yes.
Ouch, strike two.
The one with all the tattoos, Logan's Runt-
Of course! I'd be especially excited if it were around the time of the Iowa State Fair- we'd have a blast fatty and mullet hunting. If nothing else, he could make my cats feel insecure about their weight. Then maybe they'd quit being such fatties.
She wants to take him to a fair like a little kid, and make him play Richard Simmons to her cats. Strike 3.
So where does this leave us? BRUTAL the womanizer, can't find any women who will really love him. Is that why he's gone? He treks the globe searching for that special someone, to love him and squeeze him and call him George? [/obscure reference]
All I can say is, good luck BRUTAL. I hope you find what you're looking for. And I hope she has a hot sister.
This has been Mee, hoping BRUTAL didn't die like Ronny Shade, for Hype News.
*This portion of Hype News sponsored by the Free Fran Foundation (FFF)*
More news as it comes...
So sit tight chums...
The first question I asked myself was-
Why would BRUTAL leave without giving any notice? Goodbye threads are a staple of the Hype! This leads me to believe he didn't plan on being gone as long as he has. Either that, or he's a big jerk.
Secondly, what does BRUTAL do? What would draw him away? Well, BRUTAL does photoshop crap, and he hits on women. No photoshop project would take this long, so I'm assuming this involves a woman. Which led me to...
What kind of women does BRUTAL like? Well here's an excerpt from an old Hype News staff meeting-
Hype News Staff Meeting said:BRUTAL:You know Mee, I really like chicks. All kinds man. Short, tall, thin, round, I'll take it. As long as it's got the right parts. KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN?! But seriously, no fatties.
Mee: I do know what you're sayin. But my question was could I borrow your pen?
BRUTAL: Shut up, I'm trying to day-dream. Queer.
Mee:
Not much help there. Also, he never did let me borrow his pen.
I hatched an idea to poll some ladyfolk, to better understand the appeal of BRUTAL. To see if it were possible he is indeed off with one of them.
If BRUTAL were wandering the globe, and happened to come to your house, would you let him stay?
I posed ^this question to some famous Hype ladies.
Blue eyed blonde and black guy liker, AndThePickles said-
Yes, I would, as long as he sleeps in the guest room.
Well, strike one for BRUTAL.
Moderator of flirting, DBella said-
Only for him to clean my house. Yes.
Ouch, strike two.
The one with all the tattoos, Logan's Runt-
Of course! I'd be especially excited if it were around the time of the Iowa State Fair- we'd have a blast fatty and mullet hunting. If nothing else, he could make my cats feel insecure about their weight. Then maybe they'd quit being such fatties.
She wants to take him to a fair like a little kid, and make him play Richard Simmons to her cats. Strike 3.
So where does this leave us? BRUTAL the womanizer, can't find any women who will really love him. Is that why he's gone? He treks the globe searching for that special someone, to love him and squeeze him and call him George? [/obscure reference]
All I can say is, good luck BRUTAL. I hope you find what you're looking for. And I hope she has a hot sister.
This has been Mee, hoping BRUTAL didn't die like Ronny Shade, for Hype News.
*This portion of Hype News sponsored by the Free Fran Foundation (FFF)*
More news as it comes...
So sit tight chums...
