kainedamo said:
Still haven't heard from her.
Should I call her? Text her?
She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.
It's all good, use it as a growth experience...
ONe thing you've done....
you talked about what she has to offer you, but you haven't once mentioned what you have to offer her, why should she go out with you more than any other person, what do you bring to the field that other men don't?
THAT is the eternal question because if you don't know that then you can never get anyone.
a year is a long time to be friends with someone, if there have been no signs of interest in that time and you have been single the whole time then it's likely not going to happen.
However if you have been dating other people, then she will get to see a side of you that she wouldn't do normally and that's what you need, you need for her to like you MORE than you like her or at least at the very same level. You can clearly see that her dating other people has had an impact on your emotions and has made you act out irrationally, the same effect would happen on her if the situation was changed and you became a desirable asset.
Now what you need to do is to suck it up, and start either making yourself desirable or just becoming confident or perhaps start at the bottom of the dating ring and work your way up. IF she talks to you be civil and at least be her equal because it sounds like your her emotional puppy dog, a pet perhaps and it's all take from her and give from you. You need to realise that at the end of the day, she's just a human being with as much or even many more problems as you have, you shouldn't let your feelings blind the true hard fact of reality. That includes the reality that you are good enough for her, or perhaps vice versa.
I think you are at an age where 'asking people out' shouldn't really happen, you either get with someone or you don't but there shouldn't be a line you cross over or some sort of verbal contract, all relationships should happen naturally and a bluttering of feelings is definitely not natural.
all in all, i'd say start dating other women, even if you're hearts not in it, it will cheer you up to get the self esteem. In order to do this, you need to make yourself a catch so a lot of soul searching into your good points needs to be done, use some of this 'sad' time to better your personality and think what you would have done next time to get to this situation.
I've been knocked back at every stage, but at each one, i've managed to get a little bit further than the last time (at least in a post school relationship), so now i'm at a stage where talking to someone new is no big deal, what i have now have to deal with is 'dumping' and getting across the fact i don't want to get married without hurting anyone's feelings (that bastard has cost me twice
) but i wouldn't have got to this stage if i didn't mess up the first time, so all in all, have no regrets and push on forward.
(depending on what kind of girl she is) 
and your 21...where have you been all this time?! lol
