I myself can't right now, but that's because I'm on a particular medication for about a year. I can't during, unless the girl can go for like three hours, but I can do it myself in about 30 seconds. It's kind of weird. Slowly getting off the meds, though, so hopefully that will help. Unless it's a weird mental thing. Hope not.
and ... um... speaking of weirdness. I'd like to ask for a different kind of relationship advice. Remember the crazy-girl? Well... we're "friends" now and that's that. And I'm good with that. She's been working at the same place where I used to work but then I'd gotten the boot. Recently, really recently, like after we started talking again, I got a call from my old boss to know if I wanted to get my old job back. I needed the money, so I said yes. I didn't know she was working there at the time. I'd agreed. When I told her that she seemed to have a mixed reaction, but accepted it, said yeah I needed the job back and that it'd be great to double-team the place. sounded alright, "friends" and all.
But then she stops showing up at work, and when i saw her in class she tells me she'd been fired. our editor asked me if i wanted to take her work instead. i don't, because 1) I'm fine with the amount of work i get from here, and i also have to split work-hours to work at this NGO, so more work isn't exactly what i want right now, but the money's great. 2) our editor admitted that i was always the second-man to do the job and that despite having fired my crazy gal pal she was always the first choice. I don't know how that sits well with me.
What'd you guys do to keep both your integrity as a writer for the magazine and your "friendship" with her if it were up to you?
It's just I've never really had a committed sexual relationship before. So that kind of conversation has never happened.
And what I find 99%, is that I fake it.
I fake it because I wanna make the guy feel like he succeeded. And also because I don't want him to keep going longer than neccesary, because I've had guys go way too long before and it just stops being enjoyable... Easier to pretend I've finished and then they stop worrying about 'holding on' for me.
I never understood how guys, unless they'd never given a woman an orgasm before, could not tell when a woman is faking it, especially if she fakes it "hard". Have had this discussion with several woman in the last year. Apparently this happens a lot. But there are like six different physiological things that happen, and anyone who can truly fake it must be one hell of an actor. Granted, when you're in the moment, it's a little harder to think clearly.
Mine is totally a weird mental thing.
I'm not on meds, but I have the same issue as you. I have no issue going solo, but not with another person. I've even tried doing it myself with partner there as an experiment... Didn't work.
I dunno, it's not that much of a problem now, but I just hope it doesn't scare guys off in the future if their with a girl that doesn't enjoy sex as much as them.
I mean, I'm pretty good at pretending and lying about it... But it'd be nice to just be honest.
Part of it for me, I think, is that it's never really been about me. I derive most of my pleasure from giving it. From the psychological aspects of it. But those aren't what leads to physical climax. Dunno. The most annoying thing about it has been telling women "It's not you. There's nothing wrong. Stop feeling bad about it."
When she goosed me? Sober I think. I was standing near her at the time, although I was focused on somewhere else. Just felt the hand run down the small of my back to about the top of my butt. Felt like an attempt to cop a feel. I wasn't even talking to her at the time I don't think.
I feel really self-conscious about it too. My ex admitted it made him kind of feel bad, despite me trying to reassure him that it was my issue, not his, and the only person I've had sex with since then found it frustrating too.
I feel like I have some weird mental block about it.
I never understood how guys, unless they'd never given a woman an orgasm before, could not tell when a woman is faking it, especially if she fakes it "hard". Have had this discussion with several woman in the last year. Apparently this happens a lot. But there are like six different physiological things that happen, and anyone who can truly fake it must be one hell of an actor. Granted, when you're in the moment, it's a little harder to think clearly.
I don't particularly get it either. I mean, it's a bit of clenching combined with hitch in breath, head going back a bit, eyes closed, slight body tremble. That's all I do.
But then it's not like I say 'Okay, i'm done'. So even if they didn't think i've actually done it, they think they're causing me a fair bit of pleasure because i'm trembling and closing my eyes and stuff.
All I know is that a few guys have finished with this smug look on their face that I know means they think they've done a good job , and couple have actually boasted (to me) about the fact they made me climax hard.
The thing is, the faking it thing is so hit and miss. And if I was in a relationship, and not just hooking up with someone on a one off, i'm sure they'd notice.
It just feels like i'll get into a good relationship and then this issue is going to ruin it. Because I really don't want a guy to become obsessed with TRYING to make it happen. It'll just put me off more, and make me not wanna do it at all.
And what I find 99%, is that I fake it.
I fake it because I wanna make the guy feel like he succeeded. And also because I don't want him to keep going longer than neccesary, because I've had guys go way too long before and it just stops being enjoyable... Easier to pretend I've finished and then they stop worrying about 'holding on' for me.
But in a way, all of that means I'm not relaxing and enjoying myself.
Sometimes I don't finish before he does (it's very very rare, because he takes a looong time ) and then he'll just use his fingers or mouth. It's not a big deal, and doesn't think his johnson is any less adequate because it couldn't "do the job." And sometimes I'm just not feeling it and I assure him it's not a big deal.
I can't imagine faking it for him. It would feel like such a lie.
I'm not on meds, but I have the same issue as you. I have no issue going solo, but not with another person. I've even tried doing it myself with partner there as an experiment... Didn't work.
I never understood how guys, unless they'd never given a woman an orgasm before, could not tell when a woman is faking it, especially if she fakes it "hard". Have had this discussion with several woman in the last year. Apparently this happens a lot. But there are like six different physiological things that happen, and anyone who can truly fake it must be one hell of an actor. Granted, when you're in the moment, it's a little harder to think clearly.
I once asked my bf what it felt like for him when I was orgasming during intercourse. He said he could sense when I was going to, but couldn't actually tell any discernable difference "down there" because he wasn't thinking about what it felt like for him in that moment, only to keep the momentum going for me.
It's difficult to replicate what's going on down there for women during orgasm on cue, but it's likely most guys aren't sensitive enough to tell if we're actually faking it. I don't know how sensitive penises are and in what way.
I don't particularly get it either. I mean, it's a bit of clenching combined with hitch in breath, head going back a bit, eyes closed, slight body tremble. That's all I do.
I do...a lot more. I usually make it very obvious, although I can tone it down for when say, our parents are in the next room. But it's a lot more fun when I let go.
All I know is that a few guys have finished with this smug look on their face that I know means they think they've done a good job , and couple have actually boasted (to me) about the fact they made me climax hard.
Sometimes I don't finish before he does (it's very very rare, because he takes a looong time ) and then he'll just use his fingers or mouth. It's not a big deal, and doesn't think his johnson is any less adequate because it couldn't "do the job." And sometimes I'm just not feeling it and I assure him it's not a big deal.
That's actually a really good quality to have - the fact that he's not just interested in his own pleasure, but also yours. There are many guys (and gals) who wouldn't bother if they climaxed prematurely.
It's not even that uncommon. It may sound cliched, but if you aren't comfortable with your partner, your situation, or yourself, its going to have an affect.
I once asked my bf what it felt like for him when I was orgasming during intercourse. He said he could sense when I was going to, but couldn't actually tell any discernable difference "down there" because he wasn't thinking about what it felt like for him in that moment, only to keep the momentum going for me.
It's difficult to replicate what's going on down there for women during orgasm on cue, but it's likely most guys aren't sensitive enough to tell if we're actually faking it. I don't know how sensitive penises are and in what way.
Sometimes I don't finish before he does (it's very very rare, because he takes a looong time ) and then he'll just use his fingers or mouth. It's not a big deal, and doesn't think his johnson is any less adequate because it couldn't "do the job." And sometimes I'm just not feeling it and I assure him it's not a big deal.
I can't imagine faking it for him. It would feel like such a lie.
Well it's not so much me worrying he'll feel inadequate.
Sorry if this is a bit too much info:
Okay, If I'm completely honest, I don't enjoy penetration all that much. I crave it. I want it. Totally wouldn't wanna have none. But once the guys in and hitting 'that spot'... Well it kind of hurts... It doesn't send just pleasure, it's like... I don't know how to describe it tbh. The closest of my girl parts to the outside feel good, but deeper in it's like a sort of aches every time they thrust.... Maybe I shud see a doc, I dunno. I figured that's something I would deal with if it's still happening when I'm in a comfortable relationship, cause I put a lot down to not being fully aroused (cause not a lot of guys REALLY turn me on, but I never have a 'dry' problem).
So basically the whole time we're going, I'm trying to focus on doing a good job so he can finish a quickly as possible and it'll be over
I do...a lot more. I usually make it very obvious, although I can tone it down for when say, our parents are in the next room. But it's a lot more fun when I let go.
I don't mind though. It makes them happy, and they never have to know.
I mean, I remember after my ex and I finished, I felt so unsexy cause he'd turned me down so much.
Soon after I started spending all my time with this 30 year old ex drug addict who was just about as lost as me. We just kept each other company as friends for months, and I stayed at his a lot staying up all night watchin tv and laughing.
Of course, due to the fact he was incredible hot, I did hit on him one night when drunk, and thankfully he reciprocated. We had the most incredible night. [BLACKOUT]First time I'd been on top (ex said he didn't like being 'smushed down'), first time I'd been given oral (ex said he didn't like the taste of fish'), and I really felt so comfortable with him it was great. [/BLACKOUT]
Next day, his best friend comes up to me grinning. He says 'little birdie told me he had the best sex of his life last night'.
I swear, that was the defining moment in my confidence in terms of sex. [BLACKOUT]Plus, I found out later he'd never given anyone oral before, which made me feel extra specially awesome [/BLACKOUT]
I couldn't give two hoots if it were true either. Made me feel great!
So if my awesome skills of faking make a guy feel confident and sexy, then that's fine with me
Well it's not so much me worrying he'll feel inadequate.
Sorry if this is a bit too much info:
Okay, If I'm completely honest, I don't enjoy penetration all that much. I crave it. I want it. Totally wouldn't wanna have none. But once the guys in and hitting 'that spot'... Well it kind of hurts... It doesn't send just pleasure, it's like... I don't know how to describe it tbh. The closest of my girl parts to the outside feel good, but deeper in it's like a sort of aches every time they thrust.... Maybe I shud see a doc, I dunno. I figured that's something I would deal with if it's still happening when I'm in a comfortable relationship, cause I put a lot down to not being fully aroused (cause not a lot of guys REALLY turn me on, but I never have a 'dry' problem).
So basically the whole time we're going, I'm trying to focus on doing a good job so he can finish a quickly as possible and it'll be over
Yeah, that happens sometimes with me. One time I actually had to tell him to stop because he was hitting my cervix and that is actually is a very unpleasant stomach-turning feeling. How low your uterus is hanging has to do with where you are in your cycle though, not how aroused you are. And yeah, sometimes it's more painful for me than other times. If he takes things slow I usually relax and enjoy it as it progresses. It's really rare that it's so painful it's downright unpleasant.
It's actually the opposite for me - I'm more comfortable the deeper he is, so I usually have him stay there and not do the crazy thrusting-until-it's-almost-out thing they have in porn. The glans is a little larger than the shaft, so it makes sense to me..
How much pleasure a woman takes away from sex pretty much depends on how comfortable and relaxed she is during it. At least with guys they can pretend to enjoy it for a while, but the consequence of having uncomfortable sex isn't immediate pain for guys.
Yeah, that happens sometimes with me. One time I actually had to tell him to stop because he was hitting my cervix and that is actually is a very unpleasant stomach-turning feeling. How low your uterus is hanging has to do with where you are in your cycle though, not how aroused you are. And yeah, sometimes it's more painful for me than other times. If he takes things slow I usually relax and enjoy it as it progresses. It's really rare that it's so painful it's downright unpleasant.
It's actually the opposite for me - I'm more comfortable the deeper he is, so I usually have him stay there and not do the crazy thrusting-until-it's-almost-out thing they have in porn. The glans is a little larger than the shaft, so it makes sense to me..
How much pleasure a woman takes away from sex pretty much depends on how comfortable and relaxed she is during it. At least with guys they can pretend to enjoy it for a while, but the consequence of having uncomfortable sex isn't immediate pain for guys.
Yeah, that works out if you're not in a relationship really, but if you are, that stuff starts to add up.
Yeah I think all this stuff will work itself out in an actual relationship. And if i've put up with it for this long, then i'm sure I can wait until i'm comfortable in one before bringing it up, so as not to scare the guy off too soon
There has been a discovery of an underwater City, and you've been tapped to be part of the expedition. Because of the limited communication between your vessel, and headquarters, you won't be able to keep in touch and it's not fair to you or the relationship.
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, and couple have actually boasted (to me) about the fact they made me climax hard.
I usually make it very obvious, although I can tone it down for when say, our parents are in the next room. 
I'm sorry, that's just hilarious. Oh, men....
