Lord of the Advice: Return of the King of Relationships

[Optimus_Prime_]

Here is an article that doesn't have much, but what it has is decent information:
http://yahoo.match.com/cp.aspx?cpp=...cleid=9125&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1362560

 

[Anita18]

OP, I think only Jin posts articles from Yahoo.

 

[Crazy Flakes]

My main issue with that article is that it reinforces the man as the initiator in the relationship - for example, the man should ask the woman out, the man should pay, etc. It's based on such ridiculous, archaic ideals. For some reason whenever I offer to pay for the meal or even split the bill guys get offended and feel emasculated.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

My main issue with that article is that it reinforces the man as the initiator in the relationship - for example, the man should ask the woman out, the man should pay, etc. It's based on such ridiculous, archaic ideals. For some reason whenever I offer to pay for the meal or even split the bill guys get offended and feel emasculated.

I usually split the meal actually, and I love it when girls pay. That part I kind of disagreed with. The part about being confident is dead on.

 

[knowsbleed]

I can't read the article as it is blocked at my work... but I'm assuming it says something about men initiating sex as well? If not... then it needs to say that women should definitely initiate sex... such a huge turn on. The only thing better is a woman who lights my cigarette afterwards... *shivers*.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I liked the point that girls like ambitious guys.

 

[Anita18]

I liked the point that girls like ambitious guys.

I thought that was a given? Sitting at home playing video games all day isn't exactly attractive...

Guys seem to be intimidated by ambitious women though.

 

[terry78]

My main issue with that article is that it reinforces the man as the initiator in the relationship - for example, the man should ask the woman out, the man should pay, etc. It's based on such ridiculous, archaic ideals. For some reason whenever I offer to pay for the meal or even split the bill guys get offended and feel emasculated.

But if you pay that means you don't owe us sex at the end of the night. Duh.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I thought that was a given? Sitting at home playing video games all day isn't exactly attractive...

Guys seem to be intimidated by ambitious women though.

I'm definitely not one of those guys. I can't stand unambitious women, as many are fat, but frequently the skinny ones don't do it for me either. You kind of need to be ambitious to keep up with my crowd anyways.

 

[Anita18]

I'm definitely not one of those guys. I can't stand unambitious women, as many are fat, but frequently the skinny ones don't do it for me either. You kind of need to be ambitious to keep up with my crowd anyways.

I will say that my uncle was shocked, SHOCKED, that my sister found a guy who was smart and ambitious enough for her. I was bad enough!

 

[Erzengel]

I thought that was a given? Sitting at home playing video games all day isn't exactly attractive...

Guys seem to be intimidated by ambitious women though.

There's quite a few guys on here who seem to poo poo relationships, yet also seem to be not as ambitious.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

There's quite a few guys on here who seem to poo poo relationships, yet also seem to be not as ambitious.

I'm up for a lot, relationships included. I'm ambitious, so I guess that fits, but that's not to say I don't mind short term gains. I like a little strange every now and then until I have something serious. I guess serious though is, in a sense, the final goal, even if it's not a goal I want completely figured out right away.

 

[Erzengel]

I do wanna say, I'm surprised with their selection of women in that yahoo article.

I would have liked to see a doctor/nurse, lawyer, etc.?

 

[Anita18]

I do wanna say, I'm surprised with their selection of women in that yahoo article.

I would have liked to see a doctor/nurse, lawyer, etc.?

Surprised? As I said, many people (expanded from just "men" ) are intimidated by ambitious women.

If a woman acted like a man in a leadership position, 80% of people out there would call her a b***h. But you do have to kind of be a jerk to make it in such competitive environments.

 

[Erzengel]

I don't know that many guys intimidated by ambitious women.

Maybe that's a "west coast" thing.

I know a lot of nurses. And a majority of them are dating cops.

But that wasn't necessarily my point.

In the article, I quickly glanced at the women who were being interviewed, and was a little surprised by their answers to the question of men's occupations/ambition. But when I looked at their occupations, noticed a lot of fancy titles but know pretty much what their jobs were, it kinda explained those answers better.

Even myself, if I was dating tomorrow, I'd like to meet some sort of licensed professional.

 

[Anita18]

I don't know that many guys intimidated by ambitious women.

Maybe that's a "west coast" thing.

I know a lot of nurses. And a majority of them are dating cops.

But that wasn't necessarily my point.

In the article, I quickly glanced at the women who were being interviewed, and was a little surprised by their answers to the question of men's occupations/ambition. But when I looked at their occupations, noticed a lot of fancy titles but know pretty much what their jobs were, it kinda explained those answers better.

Even myself, if I was dating tomorrow, I'd like to meet some sort of licensed professional.

Hey I thought NYC was a terrible place for dating, cause everyone's expectations are ridiculously high.

 

[Anubis]

These days you'd think simply having a job.....any job....would get panties wet.

 

[Erzengel]

Well, it's ridiculously expensive. And what people pay for mortgages, people there pay for a studio apartment. So I can see if you are a professional in NY, if you wanted someone who didn't live in some small apartment.

 

[Anita18]

These days you'd think simply having a job.....any job....would get panties wet.

I must say my panties got pretty unwet when my (now unemployed) fiance said he'd like to get a "living wage" off of iPhone app revenue. His definition of "living wage" is apparently $1500/month. Which is like, barely above minimum wage in our state, working a full-time job.

His answer was, "Well I'm only working half an hour a day on this stuff, not 9 hours!" and I'm like, "Not the point! You can't pay rent and health insurance and car insurance on that!"

It wasn't the unambition necessarily. It was more the inability to comprehend that one in fact cannot really live comfortably on minimum wage living in one of the most expensive cities in the US....

I can't complain too much though. He cooks me breakfast and does our laundry and takes care of things when I'm not home. We can take that out of his portion of the rent.

 

[terry78]

I must say my panties got pretty unwet when my (now unemployed) fiance said he'd like to get a "living wage" off of iPhone app revenue. His definition of "living wage" is apparently $1500/month. Which is like, barely above minimum wage in our state, working a full-time job.

His answer was, "Well I'm only working half an hour a day on this stuff, not 9 hours!" and I'm like, "Not the point! You can't pay rent and health insurance and car insurance on that!"

It wasn't the unambition necessarily. It was more the inability to comprehend that one in fact cannot really live comfortably on minimum wage living in one of the most expensive cities in the US....

I can't complain too much though. He cooks me breakfast and does our laundry and takes care of things when I'm not home. We can take that out of his portion of the rent.

He's one of those, huh?

 

[Crazy Flakes]

But if you pay that means you don't owe us sex at the end of the night. Duh.

It doesn't take a free meal to get me to want sex at the end of the night...

And I've noticed that guys tend to be intimidated by girls who can outsmart them more than anything else. If I'm debating with a guy I'm seeing he usually tries to patronize me and he'll get pissy if I have the last word. Although I'm moving to NYC in August so maybe it'll be different there.

 

[knowsbleed]

I like it when women make me feel stupid. I retort with passive aggressive sarcasm and things really get heated. If things get physically violent... that's a plus.

 

[crounsa810]

I've had an epiphany. I spend my time going "Ooh I want her. I want her I want her I want her!!" then they become my sole interest and I end up ****ing it up. Yet when I don't focus on one and focus instead on many, it works a little bit better. I think. But I'm not as nervous and weird and "OH MY GOD I NEED HER DON'T **** UP OH GOD I JUST ****ED UP ****!!!" I just kinda relax and let things be normal. And that's good. Better than what I've been doing


Why it took so long to realize this, I have no idea. I'm a slow learner I guess.

 

[lixdexia]

so i go out with this girl a couple weeks ago, not much comes of it and it ends with "i'll see you around."

but then i see her in the theater later make a joke about her taking my seat and now we're texting all the time. i've seen her out a couple of times since but neither of us really acknowledges the presence of the other, maybe a smile or a glance but not a lot more.

what am i looking at?

 

[Erzengel]

Well if you didn't wow her on that first date, that may be why she isn't pursuing you. If she was into you, you'd kinda would see it, especially if you saw each other all the time.