I actually recognised ALOT from my life in (500) Days of Summer. Not exactly everything, but overall it felt like it could've or could happen in my life and the feelings JGL shows would be almost exactly like how I'd react/how I've reacted. So to me, they very much felt like real people. But that's just me.
I have seen too little of Fincher's work to make a statement about that, but I think he said something about wanting to show how Peter feels like an outsider with his powers or something like that.
I never felt Webb tried to copy Batman. ASM and the Batman films don't give the same vibe at all to me.
Again, when Peter talked/tried to talk to Gwen, I pretty much saw myself when I get into a situation where I talk to a girl I have a huge crush on. That was totally realistic for us shy-to-pretty-girls people. Yes, I am shy when I talk to the girl I really like :P I guess I'm not as cool as SpiderMarvelite :/
While I didn't find much of Peter's clothing any off at all, I do agree however that his sleeves with holes for his thumbs should go away.