My Neighbor must think I'm racist! What do I do? (plus a question about racism)

[chamber-music]

The Canadian accent is a dead give away, but yeah we dont look different.

To alot of people outside north America the Canadian and American accents sound the same.

 

[Lunar_Wolf]

To alot of people outside north America the Canadian and American accents sound the same.

I can't tell the difference, unless it's a really thick Canadian accent.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Before the main post, 2 facts about myself:
1. I am learning Chinese and Japanese
2. Unlike the stereotypical version of a white American, I can usually tell the difference between East Asian nationalities just by looking at them.

Anyhow, I have a neighbor who's East Asian. For some reason, I thought he was Japanese. I saw him tonight and greeted him in Japanese,"Kombanwa". He gave me a nasty Look and I realized my mistake: He was in fact, Chinese.
He must think I'm a total racist!
What do I do?

Also, was it racist of me to try to greet him in Japanese seeing as I thought he was Japanese?

I recognize that your heart was in the right place, but as an Asian person, I know that's a pet peeve for a lot of us, when people walk up to us and start trying to speak a language from a culture that we're not even from.

However, though I know you meant well, I'm not going to let you off the hook entirely; your story implies that you don't even know your neighbour's name before you assumed he was either Chinese or Japanese. If you knew his name, you most likely would not have made that mistake.

 

[POWdER-man]

Whether he was Japanese or Chinese, isn't the bigger question do you know if he even could speak one of these languages? I know some Asians who don't know any more of these languages than I do and just speak English. I feel like it was a big assumption on your part.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Whether he was Japanese or Chinese, isn't the bigger question do you know if he even could speak one of these languages? I know some Asians who don't know any more of these languages than I do and just speak English. I feel like it was a big assumption on your part.

Kind of on topic, as an Acadian, do you get similarly PO'd if someone assumes you're a Quebecois?

 

[Schlosser85]

I can't usually tell the difference between an American and Canadian accent unless it's a really heavy one.

Like Donald Sutherland for example just sounds American to me.

 

[POWdER-man]

Kind of on topic, as an Acadian, do you get similarly PO'd if someone assumes you're a Quebecois?

Anyone in the Maritimes can pick out those who are from Quebec. Quebec and Acadian French dialects are far different so it doesn't happen. I don't think I would be bothered with the assumption if it were to happen though, we are all Canadian in the end. The only thing that bothers me are those individuals that live in Provinces that think themselves better then the rest of the country. Stephen Harper for example....

 

[Dark Raven]

Before the main post, 2 facts about myself:
1. I am learning Chinese and Japanese
2. Unlike the stereotypical version of a white American, I can usually tell the difference between East Asian nationalities just by looking at them.

Anyhow, I have a neighbor who's East Asian. For some reason, I thought he was Japanese. I saw him tonight and greeted him in Japanese,"Kombanwa". He gave me a nasty Look and I realized my mistake: He was in fact, Chinese.
He must think I'm a total racist!
What do I do?

Also, was it racist of me to try to greet him in Japanese seeing as I thought he was Japanese?

It's not racist per se, but here's what you need to know coming from someone who is Asian and has been on the receiving end of that before.

It doesn't really matter what he was. Don't go round greeting any Asians in what you think is their mother tongue. Even if the person was Japanese and you greeted him in Japanese, it can come across as if you are mocking the person and trying to make some Asian/ Oriental sounds or using the one or two bits of that language you picked up (he won't know whether you are actually learning Japanese or not).

It's a bit like if you see someone German and spout out some words you heard in a WWII movie. Not quite as bad as saying "Heil Hitler", but if the Chinese person has been born and brought up in the US or the West, and you naturally assume that he speaks Chinese (or Japanese in your case) as his mother tongue, you can be offensive. He might be as Western as you and might not know a word of his so-called "mother tongue".

If he doesn't know any Chinese or Japanese at all, then he won't know the difference between whether you were actually speaking in one language or the other. The offence won't be that you assumed all Asians are alike, because he won't know what you said anyway. To him, all it will seem like is that you're then making some mocking Asian words based on the way he looks.

So there's two potential offences here: not only can you seem like you're mocking him, but you're making assumptions about him based on his appearance.

The best thing to do would have been to just greet him in English and begin a conversation, instead of blurting out a Japanese word as your ice breaker.

So maybe not racist, but certainly ignorant on your part. If you want to smooth things over, you should go and explain that you are learning Japanese, that you don't think all Asians look alike, and that you made a genuine mistake, and don't want to come across as racist. You should even acknowledge that you did make an assumption about him a) that he was Japanese and b) that he spoke in a different tongue as his first language and that you can see how it can be perceived as very ignorant and even racist.

And one more thing: if you begin a conversation in English with him (or any Asian) and he gives you a bewildered look and says "sorry?", do NOT naturally assume he didn't understand you and launch into Japanese or Chinese to speak to him. He might have just not heard what you said or you weren't being very clear. You wouldn't make that assumption with a white person but would just repeat yourself.

 

[Erzengel]

Dress like this and do a performance in his front yard.

Then swear on your ancestors that you meant no disrespect and you wish to bring honor back to you and your clan.

 

[knowsbleed]

When I am in a different country... I try to greet in that language. In the US... I say "whaddup dawg". If someone came up to me and tried to speak to me in the language of my ancestors... I would take it as a sign that they wanted me for sex. That's usually not a good sign.

 

[Coca Cola Duracell Franklin.]

the stereotypical version of a white American

You are racist.

Also, was it racist of me to try to greet him in Japanese seeing as I thought he was Japanese?

If a Japanese dude was learning German and greeted you in German, would you shoot him a disgusted glance? Your neighbor is an uptight *****e.

 

[C. Lee]

Are you racist....I don't know....but you are insensitive and not too bright.

I will assume that you live somewhere other than an Asian country. You see a person that looks Asian...so automaticly you assume he must be able to speak in a foreign language. Then, from all of the possible foreign languages there are out there, you choose one to speak to him in, instead of asking. When you run into blondes...do you start speaking Swedish to them?

 

[chamber-music]

Dress like this and do a performance in his front yard.

Then swear on your ancestors that you meant no disrespect and you wish to bring honor back to you and your clan.

 

[Victarion]

Dress up as a kitsune:

Spoiler

And frollick around the yard a bit, as they do in mythology, then tell your neighbor that he is forunate to have someone as great and nice as Shemtov for a neighbor.

 

[Spider-Fan83]

just let him catch you greet a "stereotypical white American" the same way, an then explain to them that you were just practising you're Japanese cuase your learning the language

 

[terry78]

All you round eye whiteys do look alike though.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Dress up as a kitsune:

Spoiler

And frollick around the yard a bit, as they do in mythology, then tell your neighbor that he is forunate to have someone as great and nice as Shemtov for a neighbor.

I have the costume if you need it. Make sure to run it through a washer first, though, it is badly soiled.

Badly, badly, soiled.

 

[DarkSovereignty]

What if he said Hi?

why do you feel the need to greet an asian person in an asian language? just because they're of asian descent doesn't mean they speak that particular language fluently. Are you going to greet every african-american with Swahili and assume they speak it?

 

[Kane52630]

Just when I thought the Patti Mayonnaise thread was the best thing going for the Community forum...

 

[DarkSovereignty]

must be a full moon or something, all the weird hypsters are crawling out of the woodwork.

 

[Shemtov]

must be a full moon or something, all the weird hypsters are crawling out of the woodwork.

I didn't post this to be insulted, y'know.

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

Just when I thought the Patti Mayonnaise thread was the best thing going for the Community forum...

I know, right?

 

[Shemtov]

You are racist.

So if somebody acknowledges the stereotypes of their race they are racist?

If a Japanese dude was learning German and greeted you in German, would you shoot him a disgusted glance? Your neighbor is an uptight *****e.

Well given I'm Jewish and that Yiddish and German have the same greetings, I'd assume he was saying hi in yiddish.
Remember that theirs bad blood between the Chinese and Japanese. Plus White people constantly mix them up.

 

[Dark Raven]

So if somebody acknowledges the stereotypes of their race they are racist?



Well given I'm Jewish and that Yiddish and German have the same greetings, I'd assume he was saying hi in yiddish.
Remember that theirs bad blood between the Chinese and Japanese. Plus they are constantly mixed up.

You don't seem to quite get it. It's not necessarily whether he was Chinese or Japanese. He could be any other Asian nationality. That's irrelevant really. It's that you've made an assumption that he's a "foreigner" when he might be as Western as anyone else who has been born and brought up in the US. If he didn't even know what language you were speaking in, he's not going to think in terms of bad blood between the Chinese and Japanese. For all we know, to him he might just think you're mocking him with a few "oriental" sounds or words that you've picked up. Why would he even give you the benefit of the doubt that you've been learning Japanese and wanted to practise it on him? That's not the thing that would come into one's head.

You should've just started a conversation with him in English and got talking to him. Asked him where he's from. Then if he says Chinese, you can say, "oh, I've been learning that language actually", then you can ask him if he is able to speak any Mandarin or Cantonese. If he says no, then you can still say that you know some words and can demonstrate your ability, and he won't take offence. This is what a proper conversation is, and treating someone with respect.

But blurting out some greeting in an Asian language to someone who just happens to look Asian is rather ignorant and dumb, especially if they can't speak that language. While you've explained your motivation for us here, if the person doesn't know that, he would think you're being racist because you're treating them differently and making assumptions about them based on their appearance and the colour of their skin.

 

[Shemtov]

^OK so how do I apologize?