Official discussion on why "Nice Guys" have a hard time getting the girl.

[The Game]

At most what you waste a couple of hours buying some girl a drink and then 5 minutes on subsequent phone calls?

I hear ya, I would just prefer her to tell me no, instead of handing out a bogus number. But if I buy her drinks and she does not give me a real number....., I will be on the look out for her again in this time of financial crisis I can not afford to waste money and get no gains

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Eh, I usually do a 2 - 3 strike rule. If I'm interested in someone, and they keep canceling or making up excuses, regardless if they tell me they are interested in me, if I keep putting the ball in their court and they say oh yeah sure, and then puss out, I just walk away.

Yeah, that's my rule 2-3 strikes, during those first few dates if a girl continuously flakes out on me I'll just walk away. Heck, I'll only call a girl twice, once a couple days after the first date, a second time a week or so later, if she hasn't gotten back to me, screw it, she's probably not interested and I've lost my interest. Went out with a girl a year ago, tried twice to set up a second date, both times she made excuses for not being able to go, so just walked away, wasn't gonna waste time with someone interested in playing games.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I hear ya, I would just prefer her to tell me no, instead of handing out a bogus number. But if I buy her drinks and she does not give me a real number....., I will be on the look out for her again in this time of financial crisis I can not afford to waste money and get no gains

That's pretty ridiculous, you really think girls want to talk to all the guys that buy them drinks in a night again, of course not. However, in this time of financial crisis who's gonna turn down a few drinks from some sucker who thinks he's gonna get something out of buying her a drink. Determine genuine interest before spending any money on her.

 

[Star]

Sometimes (admittedly not always) it is just because of real conflicts. There was a guy I was really interested in last year. We had a night class together... one time he asked me if I wanted to go out for wings with him after class, and I had an essay due the next day so I had to decline. He then sent me a message on facebook asking me to come play doubles tennis with him and some friends... I also had plans during that time, but in my response I said we should make other plans...

However, he gave up after that

 

[Erzengel]

I'd feign interest in all of you for a couple of free drinks.

 

[Star]

Getting a guy to buy you a drink in a bar is like fishing with dynamite

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Sometimes (admittedly not always) it is just because of real conflicts. There was a guy I was really interested in last year. We had a night class together... one time he asked me if I wanted to go out for wings with him after class, and I had an essay due the next day so I had to decline. He then sent me a message on facebook asking me to come play doubles tennis with him and some friends... I also had plans during that time, but in my response I said we should make other plans...

However, he gave up after that

Well yeah, maybe my post sounded a little harsh, but with the girl I was talking about we actually did make plans both times and she flaked out. I might have given her a third chance even, but she would've had to reach out to me.

 

[The Game]

That's pretty ridiculous, you really think girls want to talk to all the guys that buy them drinks in a night again, of course not. However, in this time of financial crisis who's gonna turn down a few drinks from some sucker who thinks he's gonna get something out of buying her a drink. Determine genuine interest before spending any money on her.

Dude, I was joking, my tone and the use of the icons was meant to show this, im sorry it did not work

 

[BlackLantern]

Getting a guy to buy you a drink in a bar is like fishing with dynamite

For us, it's a crap shoot...because we buy you a drink and we're not sure if you're just a bar leech or if you're genuinely interested....

 

[terry78]

For us, it's a crap shoot...because we buy you a drink and we're not sure if you're just a bar leech or if you're genuinely interested....

They hear that same spiel all night and everytime they go out....switch that **** up and ask her to buy you one instead. Even if she laughs, at least you came different than the others.

 

[BlackLantern]

They hear that same spiel all night and everytime they go out....switch that **** up and ask her to buy you one instead. Even if she laughs, at least you came different than the others.

I'm just going to point at my junk with an inquisitive look on my face.....

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Dude, I was joking, my tone and the use of the icons was meant to show this, im sorry it did not work

Sorry, don't always get sarcasm over the internet.

I'm just going to point at my junk with an inquisitive look on my face.....

That only works if you junk's in a box.

 

[The Game]

I'm just going to point at my junk with an inquisitive look on my face.....

I do that all the time, you get used to the black eyes after a while

Sorry, don't always get sarcasm over the internet

No worries

 

[Eggyman]

It's the easy way to go about things, a guy asking a girl if she wants a drink. Rather than creating some interesting banter, they just ask if the girl wants a drink. It's a lil bit of a cop out.

Would you like a drink = I like you but can't think of anything to say to you.

Not all the time, but sometimes.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I can pretty much say that I'm done trying to pick up girls at bars / clubs.

1. It's not really my comfort zone. Sure, I like going out, having a few drinks, and dancing, but I'm not the kind of guy who's looking for what I'd get from a bar, which is a one night stand. I don't want a materialistic girl who's looking for the guy with the nicest car, the most money, and the fanciest jewelry. I'm looking for a nice girl that I can spend time with, talk to, and actually have romantic companionship with.

2. I'm not good at approaching girls on that level. My comfort zone is girls that I work with, or girls that I go to school with. Girls that I see often, I can talk to them, get to know them, and become comfortable with them, and actually have an idea of who they are as a person. I'm not good at approaching some random girl in a bar or club. I watch my friend do it all the time - he'll go onto the dance floor and just grab a girl to dance with her, or start grinding on her ass, or what have you. Doing something like that just isn't me. I'm the type of guy that still approaches a girl and asks her if she wants to dance.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think that perhaps people in general are starting to get wiser regarding trying to get a hookup at the bar. It seems to be happening less and less.

 

[LadyVader]

Last night I met a guy at a thing I went and had a really nice conversation with him. He was younger than me by 4 years and had a girlfriend so I had no romantic interest towards him whatsoever but I did think he was interesting and smart and I enjoyed talking to him. Yeah, he was a nice guy. During the course of the conversation he kept asking me ever ten minutes or so: "I'm sorry, is this boring? Am I boring you?"

"Dude, I'm talking to you cause I think you have interesting things to say, quit asking me that!"

As the party (I guess you can call it that) went on the people he came with left so he kept following me, even though I wanted to talk to other people, dance by myself etcetera. He apologised for that and said that since I'm the only person he knows there he doesn't wanna feel weird being alone in a corner. I thought to myself:"Look man, if you can't find somebody else to talk to and you're not having fun, why don't you just LEAVE!?" I didn't say that and kept talking to him. It definitely felt like he was clinging to me and I don't react very well to that.

I guess the smarter thing to do would have been to introduce him to other people but at that point everybody was pretty drunk.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that if I DID have an interest in him I wouldn't have had that same reaction. Hell, if the guy you like seems to like you back than obviously you want to have his full attention.

 

[Lobo]

I think that perhaps people in general are starting to get wiser regarding trying to get a hookup at the bar. It seems to be happening less and less.

I never did the bar thing, as i don't drink alcohol, nor would I feel comfortable using it to help me get laid.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I never did the bar thing, as i don't drink alcohol, nor would I feel comfortable using it to help me get laid.

Same here. I do drink, but trying to get a date at a bar just seems...ridiculous. "Hi! I know nothing about you and I'm probably just trying to score! Wanna dance?" I'm there to get a buzz going, listen to the music and watch the scenery go by. If I wanted to find a girlfriend, I'd go to a library or a book store or something. I wouldnt ask anyone out, but thats where I'd go.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Same here. I do drink, but trying to get a date at a bar just seems...ridiculous. "Hi! I know nothing about you and I'm probably just trying to score! Wanna dance?" I'm there to get a buzz going, listen to the music and watch the scenery go by. If I wanted to find a girlfriend, I'd go to a library or a book store or something. I wouldnt ask anyone out, but thats where I'd go.

Well, if you're not going to ask anyone out, you're not going there to find a girlfriend, the whole asking her out thing is a really important part of that process.

 

[Hobgoblin]

Well, if you're not going to ask anyone out, you're not going there to find a girlfriend, the whole asking her out thing is a really important part of that process.

No argument here. I just dont know if I can ask someone out and then not see them. I'm a person that needs a lot of space and isnt inclined to go out and do things.

 

[Erzengel]

It's fairly common for most people to sit on their hands and await opportunity to fall into their laps. However, it's usually very unlikely and one does have to make some sort of venture into a social setting whether it be school, work, community, etc. or even some sort of internet dating site.

 

[DV8]

For us, it's a crap shoot...because we buy you a drink and we're not sure if you're just a bar leech or if you're genuinely interested....

well the point is to buy the drink, chat the girl up and that's what MAKES her interested in you, is the convo . . .

 

[Eggyman]

well the point is to buy the drink, chat the girl up and that's what MAKES her interested in you, is the convo . . .

I prefer the chat first, buy later way. Just because a woman's attractive doesn't mean I'm interested in her. I'll find out first and then buy her a drink if I'm happy with her... wait for it... personality

t:

 

[DV8]

I prefer the chat first, buy later way. Just because a woman's attractive doesn't mean I'm interested in her. I'll find out first and then buy her a drink if I'm happy with her... wait for it... personality

t:

heh . . . yeah, personally I don't use the "ooh gurl, let me buy you a DRANK" approach; but for those (suckers) that do, I think that's kind of the point!