Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[ComicChick]

Do you work more than 40 hours a week?

yeah

 

[Erzengel]

yeah

Not sure if you are actively looking for someone, but while your "friend's" advice wasn't exactly put gently, and not saying every guy will eventually cheat but I'm sure you know that any relationship would require a fair bit of time and effort being put in.

 

[Anita18]

Not sure if you are actively looking for someone, but while your "friend's" advice wasn't exactly put gently, and not saying every guy will eventually cheat but I'm sure you know that any relationship would require a fair bit of time and effort being put in.

40 hours a week isn't really all that much, and how much time you put into a relationship really depends on the people involved. There's no set rule as to how much time a couple requires to have a successful relationship.

Seeing someone once a week doesn't take up that much time. If you wanted to take things more seriously, seeing them on the weekends (like my friend does with her fiance) only wouldn't eat into your workweek either. Now if you worked 100 hours a week, that wouldn't leave you much time for ANYTHING, let alone a relationship.

My sister works about 60 hours a week and lives with her bf and goes out with him and does all the other stuff that people do. But she's crazy. I don't have the energy for that. I do have late hours sometimes but my bf doesn't demand THAT much attention. I think he would feel smothered if I gave him all of my attention when I wasn't working. The cat however...

 

[Erzengel]

40 hours a week isn't really all that much, and how much time you put into a relationship really depends on the people involved. There's no set rule as to how much time a couple requires to have a successful relationship.

I asked if she worked OVER 40 hours.

Seeing someone once a week doesn't take up that much time. If you wanted to take things more seriously, seeing them on the weekends (like my friend does with her fiance) only wouldn't eat into your workweek either. Now if you worked 100 hours a week, that wouldn't leave you much time for ANYTHING, let alone a relationship.

Once a week is fine in the beginning, but further on when you are invested you'd like to see them more.

My sister works about 60 hours a week and lives with her bf and goes out with him and does all the other stuff that people do. But she's crazy. I don't have the energy for that. I do have late hours sometimes but my bf doesn't demand THAT much attention. I think he would feel smothered if I gave him all of my attention when I wasn't working. The cat however...

You said it yourself, "lives with her bf"

A lot different than 2 people dating, not to mention if there's a decent commute from your place and your significant other's place.

 

[ComicChick]

Not sure if you are actively looking for someone, but while your "friend's" advice wasn't exactly put gently, and not saying every guy will eventually cheat but I'm sure you know that any relationship would require a fair bit of time and effort being put in.

this person isn't even a friend haha just a coworker.

i'm not actively looking, although Grandma says she's getting too old and wants to see a grandbaby before she goes (oh boy lol)

i work a lot now cuz i'm broke and trying to get out of debt. should i get in a relationship i'd totally be ok with putting in the time and effort

 

[Anita18]

I asked if she worked OVER 40 hours.

Once a week is fine in the beginning, but further on when you are invested you'd like to see them more.


You said it yourself, "lives with her bf"

A lot different than 2 people dating, not to mention if there's a decent commute from your place and your significant other's place.

Then 40 hours a week isn't a good benchmark. Maybe it should have been 60, then I would have batted an eye.

How do people usually do it? When my bf and I got more serious, he'd come over on the weekends because we lived an hour apart. That's how my best friend and her fiance still do it, because they live an hour apart. My sister has always worked 60 hours a week and my hours were even more crazy then because I had no one to come home to.

Do serious couples usually require seeing each other every day after work? You might as well live together if you can afford the time/travel arrangements to do that.

 

[Erzengel]

I was seeing women maybe a couple of times during the week and then once during the weekends.

My current relationship, I was spending the night at her house during the week or sometimes vice versa and then we'd spend the weekend together.

Not a fairly uncommon story, not everyone lives over an hour apart. If you lived in the same apartment building or down the street, wouldn't you see someone more often?

 

[Anita18]

I was seeing women maybe a couple of times during the week and then once during the weekends.

My current relationship, I was spending the night at her house during the week or sometimes vice versa and then we'd spend the weekend together.

Not a fairly uncommon story, not everyone lives over an hour apart. If you lived in the same apartment building or down the street, wouldn't you see someone more often?

Sure, but if I had stuff to do then I'd let them know. Sometimes my bf would insist on staying over during the week (this was when he quit his job and moved closer but still about 40 minutes away) and I'd tell him I'd be really boring since I had work, art class or art hw to do. He was fine with that.

Relationships do take some attention and energy, but it isn't like everyone who has a busy life is automatically relegated to being single because their SO demands X number of attention hours.

And again, if they lived just down the street or in the same apartment building and it was so serious that you were seeing them multiple times a week, why not save money and live together? It's certainly less effort to see each other at that point.

 

[Erzengel]

Sure, but if I had stuff to do then I'd let them know. Sometimes my bf would insist on staying over during the week (this was when he quit his job and moved closer but still about 40 minutes away) and I'd tell him I'd be really boring since I had work, art class or art hw to do. He was fine with that.

I didn't have to be entertained when I was over there. I just liked behind around her and vice versa.

Relationships do take some attention and energy, but it isn't like everyone who has a busy life is automatically relegated to being single because their SO demands X number of attention hours.

I don't think I inferred that anywhere.

And again, if they lived just down the street or in the same apartment building and it was so serious that you were seeing them multiple times a week, why not save money and live together? It's certainly less effort to see each other at that point.

Because moving in together is quite a step.

 

[DV8]

I have a ****** dilemma. Whats worse, is that it's a dilemma that almost anybody (including me, if I wasn't the one having it) would call a no-brainer.

There's this girl. We've hooked up quite a few times. She is absolutely in love with me. I know this because she doesn't know the meaning of the term "coming on too strong". The first time we ever hung out she told me it was love at first sight. (Weird, right?)
The dilemma is this: I don't like her. I don't not like her, we just don't have anything in common; whenever we hang out, there is a lot of awkward silence. I'm a pretty witty guy and appreciate someone I can have a good back and forth with and laugh a lot. There is none of that with this girl. She is pretty ****ing dumb, actually. And although she is definitely not someone you would call unattractive, I don't think she is really anything special or overly hot, either.
That being said, the sex is AMAZING. Probably the best I've ever had. Our sexual chemistry is out of this world. Now, I'm not one to date somebody based on sex alone. I would keep her as a booty call (as I have) and nothing else. BUT, this particular girl happens to have parents that own some hotels. So pretty much, the difference between be continuing to struggle financially wise (ie: be broke ALL THE ****ING TIME) and be an instant millionaire and be set for life is me deciding whether or not I can commit to this girl.

*sigh* woe is me......


Edit: Oh, and I guess it wouldn't really be a dilemma if this was the only girl in my life, but there are actually a few other girls I actually DO like and enjoy spending time with. I just don't know if I can possibly give up being with someone that I would actually love and enjoy being with for money.
There's also the fact that I hate not being able to do whatever (and more importantly, WHOEVER) whenever I want.

you're banging Paris Hilton??

 

[WillardNation]

you're banging Paris Hilton??

Ha! If it was Paris, there wouldn't even be a question. She'd be my wife right now. No, this girl is not quite on the Hilton level.

 

[DV8]

ok well Paris Country Inn isn't half bad either . . .

 

[DV8]

Is it wrong of me to steal a chick from her BF?? I feel like bad karma has plagued me for sleeping with married women, so I'm done with that . . . but how bad is it to ruin a regular relationship? Lol . . . no but for real though

 

[Erzengel]

Well, you have to think about it this way. If she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you, what's to stop her to cheat on your with the next Bigger Better Deal?

 

[Prison Mike]

"Once a cheater...always a cheater."

Yeah, I just quoted Friends.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I'm still mad at Willard for doing what he did to the coolest chick he'd ever smush.

 

[DV8]

Well, you have to think about it this way. If she's willing to cheat on her boyfriend with you, what's to stop her to cheat on your with the next Bigger Better Deal?

yeah I hear you . . . and I actually respect that she's real reluctant to "talk to me" like that . . . she might not even give in, I try to get her to come out w/ me all the time and she says "you know we can't do that" . . . she's young, and I can tell she's tired of being in the relationship; they've been on and off for 6 years, but I can tell she digs me . . . we email each other all day at work, and when I see her in passing her body language is very positive . . . oh well *shrug* thanks for the input

 

[Anubis]

Pfft, f**k that, go for it.

I shouldn't even have to convince you. You like her, she likes you. F**k that guy.

 

[AndThePickles]

I think that you should respect the fact that even though she's interested, she's choosing not to pursue anything with you.

 

[Bubonic]

Is it wrong of me to steal a chick from her BF?? I feel like bad karma has plagued me for sleeping with married women, so I'm done with that . . . but how bad is it to ruin a regular relationship? Lol . . . no but for real though

I think it would make you a bigger ******* then people are making WillardNation out to be. Unless the guy she is with is some irredeemable jerk.
Also, this is one of the most common ways to get yourself killed.
Some guys get upset over these kinds of things.

 

[Anubis]

Then he kills some dude making a play for his girl and gets sent to pound-me-in-the-ass prison where he will get pounded in the ass, and if he's gonna kill a guy over some chick who, I know, freaky as this sounds, can decide to do things of her own free will, then he was clearly not a good guy to begin with. It all works out in the end.

 

[Bubonic]

Then he kills some dude making a play for his girl and gets sent to pound-me-in-the-ass prison where he will get pounded in the ass, and if he's gonna kill a guy over some chick who, I know, freaky as this sounds, can decide to do things of her own free will, then he was clearly not a good guy to begin with. It all works out in the end.

My dad did always say it's better to kill one girl then ten guys.

 

[DV8]

thanks Anubis . . . she's already emotionally cheating w/ me Lol . . . I can tell that the emotional attachment w/ her BF is weak or nil, and she's craving that connection

 

[DV8]

I think it would make you a bigger ******* then people are making WillardNation out to be. Unless the guy she is with is some irredeemable jerk.
Also, this is one of the most common ways to get yourself killed.
Some guys get upset over these kinds of things.

hahaha . . . look like a jerk? on here? pft. Anyway, I'm not really scared . . . I had to deal w/ crazy HUSBANDS before, and yeah I'm not really trying to relive that again, but if he likes her he should put a ring on it

 

[Bubonic]

So you've cuckolded before?