Return of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Yeah, but you don't know what happened between those two and it really isn't any of your business. Getting in the middle of anything that might have happened will most likely end up with you being the bad guy to at least one of the parties involved.

Yeah you are correct, its just playing on my mind a lot, would you say i'm just being paranoid though?

 

[DV8]

Aesop . . . you need to make a move, and you def shoulda made a move; you didn't rub her booty or try to grab a titty or anything? wowzers . . . like Pickles said, don't bring it up it'll make things weird, but you def need to establish some contact here . . . take it slow my ass, you are a MAN and you have to act like it Lol; seriously though; make a move man JEEZ . . . who cares about the relationship stuff, you can still have sex if you are two grown adults; neither one of you owes the other a relationship to do that; sorry if I sound curt, but that's the truth

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

On another note... how long is it acceptable until you get with someone else after divorcing someone?

And no, this situation doesn't involve me, lulz. I'm not trying to give advice to anyone either. I'm just wondering what to make of a situation that 2 of my friends are going through.

 

[Anubis]

Depends on the situation. Was this one person leaving the other? Or years of s**ty marriage that finally, mercifully, ends?

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Depends on the situation. Was this one person leaving the other? Or years of s**ty marriage that finally, mercifully, ends?

It's tough to say because... well... I get 2 conflicting reports.

From her, the story is that he didn't support her emotionally. She felt trapped. He worked hard to provide, but was content, and never really aspired to improve their situation.

From him, the story is that he worked hard to provide for her, her daughter from another man, and the daughter they shared together. She up and left him, and her 2 daughters, to go - in his words - "explore her sexuality in ways he couldn't follow"

My take? During the time I knew them personally, before they both ****ed me over royally, he took care of her and her daughter. He was more of a father to her daughter than the actual father was. He worked hard for them. I got screwed over royally by both of them, and looking back at the situation, it began to look more and more to me like he couldn't get girls, so he basically did whatever for her, and she wanted someone to take care of her and her kid, so she used him for all she could.

Eventually, they got back in contact with me. Discussions were had, and I accepted them both back into my life - although I was obviously weary of them. After awhile, she started talking to me about how she wanted to leave him - he wasn't supporting her emotionally, she wanted more for her life, and he was content just getting by. She divorced him. He told me that she abandoned them, and then started asking me to essentially stalk her for me and send info about her back to me. I refused.

But since the divorce, she don't talk to me anymore. She used to talk to me all the time before. We'd text, call, facebook chat, online chat, whatever. We talked all the time. Now I can't ever get ahold of her for ****. Which doesn't burn me up too terribly bad.

I just found out that she's been with this other dude now. For how long, I don't know, but the divorce is only a few months old, a divorce she told me she was leaving her husband because she wanted to be alone, she didn't want anyone else.

I'm just getting the big feeling that she took dude for all he was worth and left him. Which again, doesn't burn me up too terribly bad because they both did me really wrong. I had just assumed that she had turned a new leaf. But I don't think she did. I think I'm just glad that I never let my guard down with her. But maybe I'm letting my bitterness towards the 2 of them look at the situation through the opposite of rose colored glasses.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

So yeah, I'm done with that girl.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Why's that? Did she try to cut you?

 

[Hound55]

"The b**** crazy."

 

[Anubis]

It's tough to say because... well... I get 2 conflicting reports.

From her, the story is that he didn't support her emotionally. She felt trapped. He worked hard to provide, but was content, and never really aspired to improve their situation.

From him, the story is that he worked hard to provide for her, her daughter from another man, and the daughter they shared together. She up and left him, and her 2 daughters, to go - in his words - "explore her sexuality in ways he couldn't follow"

My take? During the time I knew them personally, before they both ****ed me over royally, he took care of her and her daughter. He was more of a father to her daughter than the actual father was. He worked hard for them. I got screwed over royally by both of them, and looking back at the situation, it began to look more and more to me like he couldn't get girls, so he basically did whatever for her, and she wanted someone to take care of her and her kid, so she used him for all she could.

Eventually, they got back in contact with me. Discussions were had, and I accepted them both back into my life - although I was obviously weary of them. After awhile, she started talking to me about how she wanted to leave him - he wasn't supporting her emotionally, she wanted more for her life, and he was content just getting by. She divorced him. He told me that she abandoned them, and then started asking me to essentially stalk her for me and send info about her back to me. I refused.

But since the divorce, she don't talk to me anymore. She used to talk to me all the time before. We'd text, call, facebook chat, online chat, whatever. We talked all the time. Now I can't ever get ahold of her for ****. Which doesn't burn me up too terribly bad.

I just found out that she's been with this other dude now. For how long, I don't know, but the divorce is only a few months old, a divorce she told me she was leaving her husband because she wanted to be alone, she didn't want anyone else.

I'm just getting the big feeling that she took dude for all he was worth and left him. Which again, doesn't burn me up too terribly bad because they both did me really wrong. I had just assumed that she had turned a new leaf. But I don't think she did. I think I'm just glad that I never let my guard down with her. But maybe I'm letting my bitterness towards the 2 of them look at the situation through the opposite of rose colored glasses.

I see. Sounds like a messy story.

To answer your first question, there is no time table. You date when you think you're ready. Clearly this b***h is messed up, so, pity the next dude.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Why's that? Did she try to cut you?

"The b**** crazy."

Nah, I can just take a hint, you know? Like, she slowly stopped calling me and texting me. All that stuff. called that **** off before she could though! heh...

 

[AndThePickles]

I hate to say I told you so, but I'm not surprised at all. You didn't make a move, she was probably offended, and decided not to bother anymore.

 

[Anubis]

I don't. TOLD YOU SO!

 

[Casius--J]

I hate to say I told you so, but I'm not surprised at all. You didn't make a move, she was probably offended, and decided not to bother anymore.

This. Come on dude she spent the night with her and you didn't do ANYTHING, it was pretty much over from there. Unless you're a master player like me of course hahaha

 

[DV8]

Nah, I can just take a hint, you know? Like, she slowly stopped calling me and texting me. All that stuff. called that **** off before she could though! heh...

I hate to say I told you so, but I'm not surprised at all. You didn't make a move, she was probably offended, and decided not to bother anymore.

she wanted you to bone her man . . . at least try to grab her booty . . . well, next time you'll know

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I think I spoke too soon. Like, 30 minutes after I got off here and was getting ready to go to sleep, she texted me back saying her week has been chaotic and stuff. She apologized for it and everything and asked if she could come over to talk about something that has been bugging her. I told her I was heading to bed, but she can still come over if she really wanted to. Like 20 minutes later she called me and told me to let her in. I told her my mom was back from the hospital but she really didn't care if she was over or not (I only told her that because I'm embarrassed of my mom). We came back into my room and we talked about what had been bugging her, I asked her if she was mad that I didn't try to pull some kind of move when she left last. She said she was a bit, but she was also kind of relieved I wasn't like that, she said she was mad because it was something she wasn't really used to (not being hit on or flirted with 24/7), and that's what she expected from me. I told her that that's not what I do. I want to take things slow, see if theres the same feeling as when we hang out. She asked if it was there, and I said it was there - for me at least.

She didn't stay the night though, she left around 5. This time I walked her to her car, hugged her goodbye and did some gentlemanly ****.

 

[Anubis]

Told you so.

 

[Prison Mike]

slow and steady wins the race

 

[Erzengel]

Did you shake her hand with a firm yet not overbearing handshake?

 

[Eggyman]

This is such a heartwarming story. I'm feeling gushy.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I think I spoke too soon. Like, 30 minutes after I got off here and was getting ready to go to sleep, she texted me back saying her week has been chaotic and stuff. She apologized for it and everything and asked if she could come over to talk about something that has been bugging her. I told her I was heading to bed, but she can still come over if she really wanted to. Like 20 minutes later she called me and told me to let her in. I told her my mom was back from the hospital but she really didn't care if she was over or not (I only told her that because I'm embarrassed of my mom). We came back into my room and we talked about what had been bugging her, I asked her if she was mad that I didn't try to pull some kind of move when she left last. She said she was a bit, but she was also kind of relieved I wasn't like that, she said she was mad because it was something she wasn't really used to (not being hit on or flirted with 24/7), and that's what she expected from me. I told her that that's not what I do. I want to take things slow, see if theres the same feeling as when we hang out. She asked if it was there, and I said it was there - for me at least.

She didn't stay the night though, she left around 5. This time I walked her to her car, hugged her goodbye and did some gentlemanly ****.

Congratulations! You just put yourself in the friendzone, you did just about everything wrong if you ever wanted a romantic relationship with this girl. You are now the sap that this girl will run to whenever bad things happen in her life. You've had two booty call visits and turned them into late night chats.

 

[AndThePickles]

Congratulations! You just put yourself in the friendzone, you did just about everything wrong if you ever wanted a romantic relationship with this girl. You are now the sap that this girl will run to whenever bad things happen in her life. You've had two booty call visits and turned them into late night chats.

Precisely, couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Erzengel]

What sounds better?

The Phantom *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

or

The *Official* Relationship Advice Menace Thread

?

 

[Scourge2099]

I think I spoke too soon. Like, 30 minutes after I got off here and was getting ready to go to sleep, she texted me back saying her week has been chaotic and stuff. She apologized for it and everything and asked if she could come over to talk about something that has been bugging her. I told her I was heading to bed, but she can still come over if she really wanted to. Like 20 minutes later she called me and told me to let her in. I told her my mom was back from the hospital but she really didn't care if she was over or not (I only told her that because I'm embarrassed of my mom). We came back into my room and we talked about what had been bugging her, I asked her if she was mad that I didn't try to pull some kind of move when she left last. She said she was a bit, but she was also kind of relieved I wasn't like that, she said she was mad because it was something she wasn't really used to (not being hit on or flirted with 24/7), and that's what she expected from me. I told her that that's not what I do. I want to take things slow, see if theres the same feeling as when we hang out. She asked if it was there, and I said it was there - for me at least.

She didn't stay the night though, she left around 5. This time I walked her to her car, hugged her goodbye and did some gentlemanly ****.

It sucks bro , but at least you can still say you have your honor. If a chick can't respect you for who you are , then tell her to kick rocks. You'll eventually find a woman that'll accept you for who you are.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Wait, so how am I friendzoned? I'm like 90% sure I'm not.

 

[Anubis]

I don't think they read it all the way and just assumed you f**ked up again. Which is understandable. Maybe she believes you really just want to take it slow.....maybe not.