So when I worked in the cinema... two years ago or so, I met a girl called Rachel who started working there. She had a great ass, a good sense of humour, it was really easy to talk to her. She wore her hair in pigtails while at work, which was hot. I discovered that we had a fair bit in common.
About a month after she joined, she was gonna be leaving the job. So I casually asked if she wanted to hang out after she left and she agreed. We went to watch The Punisher and had a great time. The next day we met for lunch and kissed. We then dated for about 8 months or so. So it ended around... May last year.
It didn't end dramatically in a big ugly fight. It just sort of... waned off. You know when you first start dating someone, there is all of that excitment. And if you like the person, you think about them alot, you can't wait to see them again. So it was great for the first month. But more and more gradually, I became less and less interested. We were doing the same things all the time. We went to the cinema ALL the time and it was beginning to bore me. Little things about her started to bug me. She's very sort of... innocent. Seriously, this girl has never done anything to be ashamed of in her entire life. Nothing! No skeletons in the closet at all. While that's nice and all, she has this super happy and positive view on everything. There is no excitement or danger. Just the same thing all the time... holding hands, kissing. Plus she's a Christian.
I never felt comfortable bringing up the topic of sex. She made me feel guilty about sex, really. Eight months of dating, and the few times when my hands would wander she'd tell me off and clam up. In month two, I thought... fair enough. She's not ready for that stuff. I'm an ******* for doing it. But eight months in?? I'm not talking about full blown sex. Just groping. It made her feel uncomfortable, and it made me feel crap about myself. I began to think I shouldn't be made to feel that way. So after awhile, the lack of any sexual contact or even discussion about sex, plus her girly/overly positive attitude made me feel... like I was dating my younger sister that I never had. If you know what I mean.
I could tell, later in the relationship, she wasn't as enthusiastic anymore about the relationship either. We still had fun together. We'd go out, have dinner, talk for a long time and have a laugh. But it was more like a good friendship than a good boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. And I wasn't in love with her. Early in the relationship, I was silly enough to think maybe I was but that faded. Vicki came along. And I began thinking, yeah, if I'm having feelings like this for another girl I shouldn't be in this relationship.
So I broke it off. I met up with Rachel and said to her "this isn't easy to say, but I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. We have a great time, but it's more like I'm dating a best friend, I don't think we're suited as boyfriend and girlfriend". She said she felt the same way, and would have broke it off herself sooner or later for the exact same reasons.
So here I am. Over a year later. Rachel and I are still friends and hang out fairly often. Sometimes, I think to myself, I can't talk to Rachel as freely as I can with other people because she has this super innocent view of things. Sometimes she says "aww" or something girly and it bugs me. But it's refreshing. She's never depressed, whereas everyone else I know has their bouts of "woe is me". She's very affectionate, which I liked alot when dating her. She's very caring. She's also very pretty and has a great ass. We have a fair bit in common and I enjoy lending her stuff to watch so we can talk about it. When I go out with her, I look at her and think she looks very pretty, and hot, and I sorta miss dating her. But would the old problems just creep up again? Would it just feel like I'm dating a relative again? Am I being selfish because I'm lonely and just want someone, or do I genuinely care for her and want to date her again? Should I bring it up with her?