Was Norman Osborn sympathetic? I thought he was a bastard in the movies like in the comics and in his last breaths tries to play the sympathy card to Peter while secretly trying to kill him. Stan Lee's Norman Osborn was more sympathetic. Harry Osborn was extremely sympathetic in the comics and film. Sandman was always a pathetic villain with a sad backstory (albeit no daughter unless you count Spider-Man: Reign in which he did have a daughter who died before the movie came out).
The only villain adapted without a sob story that added one is Doc Ock and I have never heard anyone ***** about Molina's portrayal. In fact most who hate the Spidey villains praise his performance as Doc Ock, even if they gave him a wife and some tragedy.
As for Peter/MJ whining. Yeah, I'd agree with MJ, but Peter is ALWAYS whining. Pick up a damn comic book. He spends half his inner-monologue *****ing about how hard is life is or how he wishes he could be someone else or someone would cut him a break. Again more naturalistic dialogue (though that did not exist in the Spidey comics until recently) is what you're asking for.
And to be honest the only thing more annoying than hearing characters whine is hearing fans ***** about the movies when there is usually precedent of whatever it is they're complaining about (sympathetic villains, losing powers, Peter complaining, acting geeky, etc.) in the source material.
But yeah SM2 would've been so much cooler if he had said "here's web in your eyes!"