The Dark Knight Rises The Dark Knight Rises caption thread

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "No no no people, like this!" [demonstrates] "One Two Three Step, One Two Three Step, One Two Three Step, One Two Three Step- Oh you're not even trying! And we open in less than a week!"

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys, especially the Baldwin slam and the rehearsal one.

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: No Robin, you touch Batgirl´s butt like THIS and her boob like THIS, dammit I do have to teach you everything, don´t I?!

BATMAN: Dammit, a man can´t make out with Invisible Woman in peace anymore?!

 

[COMPO]

BATMAN: I'm Batman and my cock is THIS big!

Catwoman: Meow!!!

Oracle: My computer just crashed

Huntress: Now, you know why I want your approval

Talia: Don't I know it, beloved.

Canary: Well, it's bigger than Ollie's... (my favourite pic of the piece )

Green Arrow: It was a cold night and I wasn't it the mood get over it!!1

 

[ultimatefan]

^hehehehehehehe, great stuff. But be careful with the curse words, some of them aren´t automatically censored when you post, like this: ****. If they´re readable, the mods can give you a hard time for use of language.

 

[COMPO]

mmm it usually censors that word lol

 

[ultimatefan]

BOUNCER: Sorry, none of you are cool enough for Studio 54!

BATMAN: It´s okay Jeffrey, they´re with me.

BOUNCER: Oh hey Bats, in this case you´re VIPs!

 

[COMPO]

BOUNCER: Justice League? Would you like a table?

BATMAN: It's okay, we'll stand by the bar... we don't wnat to draw too much attention to ourselves.

 

[ultimatefan]

Great 60´s Batman reference!

 

[COMPO]

it was my favourite reference and I kind of want more references in the movies.

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN (thinking to himself): I´d like to fry him alive with my heat vision, but I want Nolan to mentor my film reboot.
BATMAN (thinking to himself): i´d like to stick a 15-inch kryptonite rock up his ass, but I want Nolan to keep directing my movies.

NOLAN: See, you haven´t lived till two of pop culture´s greatest icons are eating in your hand like well-trained puppies...

 

[ultimatefan]

WONDER WOMAN: Please Mr Nolan, since you´re the godfather of all DC Entertainment films, can you help to finally get my solo feature film off the ground?

NOLAN: Of course dear, but first you must do a little favor to a friend of mine...

BATMAN: Nolan, did I ever tell you I love you?

 

[COMPO]

SUPERMAN (thinking to himself): Mmmm if i move out just an inch I could really make him crap his pants
BATMAN (thinking to himself): If I hold this Kryptonite out at him I could really get him to crap his pants
SUPERMAN: (big smile) Heeyy, Bruce (moves out) wooooo no your gonna fall (Batman holds krpyonite) GAAAH!!!
BATMAN: mmmm, you're falling fast than your box office career. ooohhhh i went there.

 

[COMPO]

SUPERMAN: Okay smile for the camera Bruce. (Under his breathe) You sleep with Lois again and I'll burn you alive.
BATMAN: (Under his breathe) You steal Nolan from me and I'll stick this Kryptonite up your ass.
SUPERMAN: (Under his breathe) He came to me, get over it.
BATMAN: (Under his breathe) So did Lois, she get under me. (Superman pulls Batman forward letting him drop) WOAH-AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
SUPERMAN: That's for dissing my box office appearance ya jerk!... oh and sleeping with Lois.

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: No Robin, you touch Batgirl´s butt like THIS and her boob like THIS, dammit I do have to teach you everything, don´t I?!

BATMAN: Dammit, a man can´t make out with Invisible Woman in peace anymore?!

All you other ones were funny too UF.

COMPO, good gags from you too. Gotta love the bouncer ones & all the ones with Sueps & Bats thinking nasty things (or saying them quietly).

Hehe, poor Green Arrow.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro! Great stuff, Compo!

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: See, this garoyle is staring at your junk... And it´s laughing.
SUPERMAN: ...

 

[Panthro]

Oh Batman you bastard...

The Pokemon gag was funny too.

BATMAN: "Thanks to me using my vast fortune to buy repeat viewing tickets for the entire Justice League of America to see Avatar over & over again, we have helped Avatar become the first film to surpass the $700 million mark & become the top grossing film of all time."
SUPERMAN: "And you're a good man for it Bruce."

 

[Panthro]

AQUMAN: "Oh so first Nolan was off limits, but now you're sharing him with Superman eh?! You greedy bastards!"
BATMAN: "Dude- GAGCK- c'mon, this isn't funny anymore... can't... breathe..."

 

[COMPO]

AQUMAN: So, I got a BJ from Diana what did you get?
BATMAN: A reach around, and something that begins with 6 and ends in 9

 

[COMPO]

ULTIMATE FAN(Superman): Have you noticed that we're the only ones doing these captions?
COMPO (Batman): Yeah it is getting a little sad, you wanna stop?
ULTIMATE FAN (Superman): And deprive Panthro of such great jokes?!
COMPO (Batman): Yes, you're right... my jokes are great aren't they?
ULTIMATE FAN (superman): You know just cos you're Batman in this sketch doesn't mean you have to act like him.
COMPO (Batman): I'm Batman!
ULTIMATE FAN (Superman): Okay you remember that sketch about two sketches above?
COMPO (Batman): No, Wait!
Ultimate fan pulls Compo forward and he falls.
COMPO (Batman) Thinking: I knew I should have been Superman.

Take two

ULTIMATE FAN(Batman): Have you noticed that we're the only ones doing these captions?
COMPO (Superman): Yeah it is getting a little sad, you wanna stop?
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): And deprive Panthro of such great jokes?!
COMPO (Superman): Yeah they are good... though I think you could have done more with the ******** picture.
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): Well, I thought that would be a bit obvious.
COMPO (Superman): But, sometimes the obvious choice is sometimes the right choice.
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): Okay.... hold this.
COMPO (Superman): Why? What is.... ****! KRYPTONITE!

 

[Panthro]

ULTIMATE FAN(Superman): Have you noticed that we're the only ones doing these captions?
COMPO (Batman): Yeah it is getting a little sad, you wanna stop?
ULTIMATE FAN (Superman): And deprive Panthro of such great jokes?!
COMPO (Batman): Yes, you're right... my jokes are great aren't they?
ULTIMATE FAN (superman): You know just cos you're Batman in this sketch doesn't mean you have to act like him.
COMPO (Batman): I'm Batman!
ULTIMATE FAN (Superman): Okay you remember that sketch about two sketches above?
COMPO (Batman): No, Wait!
Ultimate fan pulls Compo forward and he falls.
COMPO (Batman) Thinking: I knew I should have been Superman.

Take two

ULTIMATE FAN(Batman): Have you noticed that we're the only ones doing these captions?
COMPO (Superman): Yeah it is getting a little sad, you wanna stop?
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): And deprive Panthro of such great jokes?!
COMPO (Superman): Yeah they are good... though I think you could have done more with the ******** picture.
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): Well, I thought that would be a bit obvious.
COMPO (Superman): But, sometimes the obvious choice is sometimes the right choice.
ULTIMATE FAN (Batman): Okay.... hold this.
COMPO (Superman): Why? What is.... ****! KRYPTONITE!

Bwahahaha.

Sorry, I just don't feel like I have a lot of caption ammo lately.

RACHEL: "Hi. Will Be A Love Interest For Food."

RACHEL: "So I hear the Thor movie finally started filming. It's gonna be awesome!"
HARVEY: "But apparently Balder the Brave won't be in it."
RACHEL: "Oh that's bad. But hey, I'm sure Green Lantern will be awesome!"
HARVEY: "They got Blake Lively to play Carol Ferris, AKA: Star Sapphire."
RACHEL: "The Gossip Girl? Oh for the love of Christ..."

LEX LUTHOR: "So what's your call sign?"
JOKER: "Just call me F***y McF***-F***."
LEX: "That's too long and complicated. I'll just call you F***y."

BRUCE: "Alright, that's it, no more Mr. Nice No Killing Vigilante. From now on, I'm going Punisher on your asses, and it's open/hunting season on all bad guys!"

BRUCE: "There's Joker!" [bang] "There's Joker again!" [bang] "That's also Joker!" [bang]

 

[Panthro]

RACHEL: "I'm so excited for the Deathly Hallows premiere!"
HARVEY: "Thank God she's great in bed, otherwise this wouldn't be worth it..."

 

[COMPO]

RACHEL: "I'm so excited for the Deathly Hallows premiere!"
HARVEY: "jesus I've gotta sit through that abortion of a book twice in one year."

 

[Panthro]

RACHEL: "I'm so excited for the Deathly Hallows premiere!"
HARVEY: "jesus I've gotta sit through that abortion of a book twice in one year."

Hehehehehehehehe