The Dark Knight Rises The Dark Knight Rises caption thread

[American_Idiot]

IF THEY WERE "NOLAN-IZED": Bebop and Rocksteady

IF THEY WERE "NOLAN-IZED": Mr. Mxyzptlk

IF THEY WERE "NOLAN-IZED": Lion-O

 

[KalMart]

I don't always drink beer...but when I do...I prefer Dos Equis.

 

[ultimatefan]

FANBOY 1: Okay, I get the whole "darker, edgier, more complex" thing about Batman, but tell me this, who´d you rather have a beer with, Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne?
FANBOY 2: Easy, Bruce Wayne!
FANBOY 1: You gotta be s****ing me!! You´d pick Mr. dark and brooding over wholesome nice guy Clark?
FANBOY 2: Here´s the thing, they´re supposed to hold their secret identities in public, right? Which means Clark will do his mild-mannered weasel bit. That means you go have a beer with him, you go to a crappy bar, drink cheap domestic beer, not too much of it, listen to him tell boring ass stories about the joys of growing up in a farm in Kansas, listen to terrible country music, and even the chicks won´t come our way cuz he´ll have his bad glasses, bad haircut, bad suit, bad posture, bad everything.
FANBOY 1: And Bruce?
FANBOY 2: He´s gonna keep his ladies man playboy facade, which means you don´t get just a beer, you get a limo with the finest champagne, super models and a hot tub!
FANBOY 1: Maybe, but the weasel wouldn´t mind having a beer with geeks like us, what about a jet-setter playboy!
FANBOY 2: Dude, we´re the company IT guys, that´s how we know him. We just invented a super cool gizmo that´ll make billions for the company and secretly help Batman fight crime, two birds with one stone!
FANBOY 1: Man, you thought this whole ridiculously unrealistic fantasy stuff through, didn´t ya?
FANBOY 2: This ain´t my first rodeo.

 

[Panthro]

FANBOY 1: Okay, I get the whole "darker, edgier, more complex" thing about Batman, but tell me this, who´d you rather have a beer with, Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne?
FANBOY 2: Easy, Bruce Wayne!
FANBOY 1: You gotta be s****ing me!! You´d pick Mr. dark and brooding over wholesome nice guy Clark?
FANBOY 2: Here´s the thing, they´re supposed to hold their secret identities in public, right? Which means Clark will do his mild-mannered weasel bit. That means you go have a beer with him, you go to a crappy bar, drink cheap domestic beer, not too much of it, listen to him tell boring ass stories about the joys of growing up in a farm in Kansas, listen to terrible country music, and even the chicks won´t come our way cuz he´ll have his bad glasses, bad haircut, bad suit, bad posture, bad everything.
FANBOY 1: And Bruce?
FANBOY 2: He´s gonna keep his ladies man playboy facade, which means you don´t get just a beer, you get a limo with the finest champagne, super models and a hot tub!
FANBOY 1: Maybe, but the weasel wouldn´t mind having a beer with geeks like us, what about a jet-setter playboy!
FANBOY 2: Dude, we´re the company IT guys, that´s how we know him. We just invented a super cool gizmo that´ll make billions for the company and secretly help Batman fight crime, two birds with one stone!
FANBOY 1: Man, you thought this whole ridiculously unrealistic fantasy stuff through, didn´t ya?
FANBOY 2: This ain´t my first rodeo.

The "If they were Nolanized" was both funny and scary at the same time.

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro, great stuff guys!

BATMAN: For the last f***ing time, you brush your molars with a CLOCKWISE movement...

BATMAN: ...The rifles go in the third shelf from the top,THIRD F***ING SHELF FROM THE TOP...

BATMAN...And you NEVER, NEVER forget to lock the backdoor!! Do you wanna invite the burglars in AND let them know you are a messy collector with rotten teeth?! Somedays, Larry, I dunno why I bother...

 

[Panthro]

Funny stuff guys.

BATGIRL: "Uh... I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this..."
CATWOMAN: "C'mon honey, it's the 21st century. New ideas, new experiences, especially for two women who are ridiculously fit and wear the super tight costumes to prove it."
BATGIRL: "Well... okay... but uh, let's not tell Robin/Nightwing about this, okay?"

Or...

BATGIRL: "Supergirl is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gonna kill me when she finds out about this..."
CATWOMAN: "Chill babe, just tell her you were beaten to a pulp and were in no way able to resist my charms."

BATGIRL: "So... Robin's okay with this, right?"
BATMAN: "Totally okay. Now start groping my well sculpted buttocks!"

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: You just called me THE CAPE?! seriously?! The f***ing Cape?! I´m one of the most iconic characters of all time, successful in every media available, and you confused me with some knock-off from a TV show that didn´t even premiere yet?! I tell you, todaý´s youth should get mass sterilization...

 

[Panthro]

Hahahahahaha

Wonder if that Cape thing will be any good...

 

[ultimatefan]

CATWOMAN: See, your friend Bats got it all wrong. You don´t need to scare the criminals. Look all those thugs, completely paralyzed looking at us, their brains turned into jelly. We could beat them to a bloody pulp and they´d thank us!
BATGIRL: Brilliant.

BATGIRL: Batman, reach the blowtorch from my belt´s left pocket... No wait, it´s in the right one... No no no, pretty sure it´s the left...
BATMAN: I love fighting crime.

 

[Panthro]

CATWOMAN: See, your friend Bats got it all wrong. You don´t need to scare the criminals. Look all those thugs, completely paralyzed looking at us, their brains turned into jelly. We could beat them to a bloody pulp and they´d thank us!
BATGIRL: Brilliant.

BATGIRL: Batman, reach the blowtorch from my belt´s left pocket... No wait, it´s in the right one... No no no, pretty sure it´s the left...
BATMAN: I love fighting crime.

Hahahahahahahaha

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "I tell ya Bruce, that Spider-Man has got to be the biggest jerk in all of comics."
BATMAN: "Really? Why's that?"
SUPERMAN: "He sold his marriage to the beautiful and very patient Mary-jane Watson to the Marvel equivalent of the Devil just to keep his eternally withered 104 year old aunt alive."
BATMAN: "Well, she is his beloved aunt and surrogate mother figure-"
SUPERMAN: "She's a withered 104 year old woman who's nearing the end of the line."
BATMAN: "But she pretty much raised him-"
SUPERMAN: "Does that really make her more important than his beloved wife? We all have to say goodbye to our beloved parents or parental figures at some point. I loved my Pa, you don't see me selling my marriage to our equivalent of hte Devil just to get him back."
BATMAN: "Because he would have wanted you to move on."
SUPERMAN: "That and if I did he'd chastise me for me throwing away a perfectly good source of *****."

 

[Mrs. Sawyer]

SUPERMAN: "I tell ya Bruce, that Spider-Man has got to be the biggest jerk in all of comics."
BATMAN: "Really? Why's that?"
SUPERMAN: "He sold his marriage to the beautiful and very patient Mary-jane Watson to the Marvel equivalent of the Devil just to keep his eternally withered 104 year old aunt alive."
BATMAN: "Well, she is his beloved aunt and surrogate mother figure-"
SUPERMAN: "She's a withered 104 year old woman who's nearing the end of the line."
BATMAN: "But she pretty much raised him-"
SUPERMAN: "Does that really make her more important than his beloved wife? We all have to say goodbye to our beloved parents or parental figures at some point. I loved my Pa, you don't see me selling my marriage to our equivalent of hte Devil just to get him back."
BATMAN: "Because he would have wanted you to move on."
SUPERMAN: "That and if I did he'd chastise me for me throwing away a perfectly good source of *****."

Hahaha that last line made me spit out my drink!

 

[Panthro]

Hahaha that last line made me spit out my drink!

Thanks!

 

[KalMart]

SUPERMAN: "I tell ya Bruce, that Spider-Man has got to be the biggest jerk in all of comics."
BATMAN: "Really? Why's that?"
SUPERMAN: "He sold his marriage to the beautiful and very patient Mary-jane Watson to the Marvel equivalent of the Devil just to keep his eternally withered 104 year old aunt alive."
BATMAN: "Well, she is his beloved aunt and surrogate mother figure-"
SUPERMAN: "She's a withered 104 year old woman who's nearing the end of the line."
BATMAN: "But she pretty much raised him-"
SUPERMAN: "Does that really make her more important than his beloved wife? We all have to say goodbye to our beloved parents or parental figures at some point. I loved my Pa, you don't see me selling my marriage to our equivalent of hte Devil just to get him back."
BATMAN: "Because he would have wanted you to move on."
SUPERMAN: "That and if I did he'd chastise me for me throwing away a perfectly good source of *****."

BATMAN: So throwing away your powers and your duty for a roll in the hay is okay, apparently?
SUPERMAN: ......
BATMAN: ....then depending on your other daddy to get them back after wimpering like a....
SUPERMAN: ...okay....
BATMAN: ...and at least he got her back without leaving her with an illegitimate....
SUPERMAN: O-KAYYYY....!
BATMAN: Right....drink your hot cocoa and shut up. At least yours didn't blow up in a gas fire...
SUPERMMAN: ...yeah...sorry ab...
BATMAN: I said drink your %$#@in' hot cocoa....!!

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: So throwing away your powers and your duty for a roll in the hay is okay, apparently?
SUPERMAN: ......
BATMAN: ....then depending on your other daddy to get them back after wimpering like a....
SUPERMAN: ...okay....
BATMAN: ...and at least he got her back without leaving her with an illegitimate....
SUPERMAN: O-KAYYYY....!
BATMAN: Right....drink your hot cocoa and shut up. At least yours didn't bow up in a gas fire...
SUPERMMAN: ...yeah...sorry ab...
BATMAN: I said drink your %$#@in' hot cocoa....!!

Hehe, touche.

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: So, now you have this "Batman Incorporated thing, with "Batmen" spreaded all over the world.
BATMAN: That is correct.
SUPERMAN: And that doesn´t remind you of anything?
BATMAN: Like What?
SUPERMAN: Seriously, "Batman Incorporated", "Green Lantern Corps"
BATMAN: Your point being?
SUPERMAN: You´re ripping off Green Lantern! He and his army of Green Lanterns are kicking your ass in sales, so you´re creating your own army, only instead of multiplanetary, it´s multinational!
BATMAN: Actually, he is kicking both our asses in sales...
SUPERMAN: Yeah, but you don´t see me creating "Superman and the Masters Of The Universe", or whatever! You even give them an oath! What´s next? All your gadgets become one "bat-ring"? You change your color from blue to green and name your self "Green Bat-tern?"
BATMAN: Hey, I´m still the king of DC, okay?! I`m not such an old-fashioned boy scout that writers keep trying to "re-imagine" me as a whiny angsty emo! Have you seen Earth One? It makes you in Smallville and Superman Returns look like a barrel of laughs!
SUPERMAN: Oh yeah, my angsty versions get trashed by Mr. dark and brooding! Funny, you´re supposed to be this anti-social loner, yet you not only have this little squad of sidekicks and allies, who even get their own titles, now you have followers all over the world! I guess people love being treated like crap by a major league a-hole! They should be called "The League of Extraordinary Masochists"!
BATMAN: Oh, my need to spread my trademark around gets trashed by a guy who puts a CAPE on a DOG! Why don´t you put bue and red pajamas on him too?
SUPERMAN: ...
BATMAN: Dear God, are you crying?
SUPERMAN: Sorry, sorry, the whole angsty emo thing gets contagious after a while...

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: So, now you have this "Batman Incorporated thing, with "Batmen" spreaded all over the world.
BATMAN: That is correct.
SUPERMAN: And that doesn´t remind you of anything?
BATMAN: Like What?
SUPERMAN: Seriously, "Batman Incorporated", "Green Lantern Corps"
BATMAN: Your point being?
SUPERMAN: You´re ripping off Green Lantern! He and his army of Green Lanterns are kicking your ass in sales, so you´re creating your own army, only instead of multiplanetary, it´s multinational!
BATMAN: Actually, he is kicking both our asses in sales...
SUPERMAN: Yeah, but you don´t see me creating "Superman and the Masters Of The Universe", or whatever! You even give them an oath! What´s next? All your gadgets become one "bat-ring"? You change your color from blue to green and name your self "Green Bat-tern?"
BATMAN: Hey, I´m still the king of DC, okay?! I`m not such an old-fashioned boy scout that writers keep trying to "re-imagine" me as a whiny angsty emo! Have you seen Earth One? It makes you in Smallville and Superman Returns look like a barrel of laughs!
SUPERMAN: Oh yeah, my angsty versions get trashed by Mr. dark and brooding! Funny, you´re supposed to be this anti-social loner, yet you not only have this little squad of sidekicks and allies, who even get their own titles, now you have followers all over the world! I guess people love being treated like crap by a major league a-hole! They should be called "The League of Extraordinary Masochists"!
BATMAN: Oh, my need to spread my trademark around gets trashed by a guy who puts a CAPE on a DOG! Why don´t you put bue and red pajamas on him too?
SUPERMAN: ...
BATMAN: Dear God, are you crying?
SUPERMAN: Sorry, sorry, the whole angsty emo thing gets contagious after a while...

 

[ultimatefan]

BATGIRL: See, they created this new "one true love" for Spider-Man called Carlie Cooper... Except she´s a rip-off of me! Well, I mean, of my Oracle version, except without any of my charm and personality! I´M the hot chick who feeds the hero info to solve the cases, dammit!
CATWOMAN: There, there... I know what you been through, I was out of my mind about that Black Cat chick too...

 

[Panthro]

BATGIRL: See, they created this new "one true love" for Spider-Man called Carlie Cooper... Except she´s a rip-off of me! Well, I mean, of my Oracle version, except without any of my charm and personality! I´M the hot chick who feeds the hero info to solve the cases, dammit!
CATWOMAN: There, there... I know what you been through, I was out of my mind about that Black Cat chick too...

Brilliant

 

[Panthro]

BATMAN: "Tron Legacy is the only sequel to a long lost movie that DIDN'T suck, and I want you to f***ing acknowledge it!"

 

[Gianakin_]

BATMAN: "Tron Legacy is the only sequel to a long lost movie that DIDN'T suck, and I want you to f***ing acknowledge it!"

Damn f**kin' straight!

 

[kedrell]

It didn't?

 

[craigaat]

FANBOY 1: Okay, I get the whole "darker, edgier, more complex" thing about Batman, but tell me this, who´d you rather have a beer with, Clark Kent or Bruce Wayne?
FANBOY 2: Easy, Bruce Wayne!
FANBOY 1: You gotta be s****ing me!! You´d pick Mr. dark and brooding over wholesome nice guy Clark?
FANBOY 2: Here´s the thing, they´re supposed to hold their secret identities in public, right? Which means Clark will do his mild-mannered weasel bit. That means you go have a beer with him, you go to a crappy bar, drink cheap domestic beer, not too much of it, listen to him tell boring ass stories about the joys of growing up in a farm in Kansas, listen to terrible country music, and even the chicks won´t come our way cuz he´ll have his bad glasses, bad haircut, bad suit, bad posture, bad everything.
FANBOY 1: And Bruce?
FANBOY 2: He´s gonna keep his ladies man playboy facade, which means you don´t get just a beer, you get a limo with the finest champagne, super models and a hot tub!
FANBOY 1: Maybe, but the weasel wouldn´t mind having a beer with geeks like us, what about a jet-setter playboy!
FANBOY 2: Dude, we´re the company IT guys, that´s how we know him. We just invented a super cool gizmo that´ll make billions for the company and secretly help Batman fight crime, two birds with one stone!
FANBOY 1: Man, you thought this whole ridiculously unrealistic fantasy stuff through, didn´t ya?
FANBOY 2: This ain´t my first rodeo.

Absolutely brilliant mate.

 

[Panthro]

It didn't?

Amazingly, Tron Legacy did not suck (suck it Kingdom of the Crystal Skull!), but you should see the first Tron before seeing the 2nd Tron.