The Last Crusade of Relationships

[Nave 'Torment']

This girl from class keeps talking about how she doesn't believe in marriage, how her more "superficial friends" are always going for the d-bags and money and getting hitched, how her 40-year-old unmarried cousin is actually more happy alone than anyone else she's seen etc.

When I told her that she's an awful lot obsessed over the concept for bringing it up so much, she gave me a weird look.

 

[Anubis]

Well of course. Nobody likes being called out on their boos**t.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Well of course. Nobody likes being called out on their boos**t.

Good for you (Nave 'Torment') calling a woman on her boosh**, that's definitely a good skill to have.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Well of course. Nobody likes being called out on their boos**t.

Yup.

Speaking of strange commitments, the girl I was dating a while back is still pretty friendly and around all the time. We made it clear that there really wasn't anything official between us, that it was just 3 dates and apparently didn't go anywhere for either of us. But even still, we have classes together and all and she still insists on hanging out / doing stuff together. It went to a peak yesterday when I was on a break between classes and she had her's finished but she kept sticking around. I asked her what she wanted to do and she tells me "whatever you want to." I told her I had to go run some errands and her plans immediately changed to "yeah I gotta get home too."

Today, our schedules were reversed and while leaving she told me she was stuck around campus for a good while and I told her "well I gotta leavE" and she was again giving me a "wtf?!" look before saying "yeah okay. byee."

I... dunno. Stuff I'm noticing for the wrong reasons? Over-thinking it again? She complimented my new hair-do. And I'm sorry, but when a really hot girl does that it invites thoughts to one's head.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Good for you (Nave 'Torment') calling a woman on her boosh**, that's definitely a good skill to have.

Nah, that girl was being obvious. Though yeah, if it's a skill I wouldn't mind developing it t:

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Nah, that girl was being obvious. Though yeah, if it's a skill I wouldn't mind developing it t:

It's a skill I have. Something I find very true of "hot chicks" is that they live in a very insulated surroundings so usually they aren't used to being "called out". Whereas someone like me or you this may be an everyday thing. We're much less likely to be surrounded by yes men.

 

[DV8]

I call *****es out like my job is an umpire

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I could use some advice. I'll try to be as concise as I can.

During the summer and when we're on break, I see 2 of my friends from HS. We'll do stuff at night like go to a diner, get ice cream go bowling, or just drive around. Sometimes they'll text a few girls we went to HS with asking to come out with us. Over the summer, this one girl replied, "Aw, sorry, I can't. Don't tell me [Spidey-Bat] is there too!" This caught my attention since my friend didn't mention me in the text. She also referred to me by the nicknames of my first and last name. It may have been b/c it was a text but only my family uses my first name's nickname and I've only had 1 teacher use my last name's nickname. They said they thought she had a boyfriend at the time so I didn't really have a reason to act on it. She goes to a college not far from where we live. I'm out of state but still nearby.

I kinda liked her back in high school but never had the courage or confidence to date anyone back then. Last week I saw her post on my friend's status on Facebook and friended her. A couple days later she liked my status update. Then on Friday, she liked my status from Tuesday and commented on it. I found this encouraging, so I replied to her comment on Saturday and liked her status on Sunday. But I've not heard back from her at all.

I've had conflicting advice from a couple of my friends. One, one of the guys who knows her, says she's probably playing games with me now and I have to go along. However, what he suggested sounded kind of bad to me. He thinks I need to make her feel possessive of me and friend girls from high school or my college on Facebook. I'm not someone who friends every person they meet. I only friend someone if I know them or knew them well and want to get back in touch. He also thinks I need to wait a bit and drag it out.

My other friend (doesn't know her) is older and what he said made more sense but he's not had as much luck as my aforementioned friend. He thinks I should try chatting with her on Facebook. My only concern is that I'm pretty awful at having a conversation with people since I either don't shut up about something or have nothing to say. He thinks I should this soon, as early as tonight or tomorrow.

Of course, both think the other's advice is bad and I shouldn't do it.

What my 2 friends and I are planning is having the four of us go out when we're on break next month. Then I'll ask her out just the 2 of us to get a drink or coffee.

I don't like admitting this, but this is the first time I've really had interest in dating someone. High school I was shallow about who I wanted to date. In college, I don't drink and all people really do here is go to the dumpy college bars and get wasted so it's been more challenging to meet people I'd like to go out with.

Why is this even a question, she liked and commented on your Facebook status, get to the jewelry store and buy this girl a ring, she's obviously in love with you and wants to have your babies. Liking AND commenting on a Facebook status is a huge sign. I mean I only comment on someone's status so I can get into their pants.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

@ Spidey-Bat

Whole scenario's way too vague to make any sort of conclusion. She could just as well be excited to see old faces again. Try talking to her, see if it goes anywhere. I'd have at least a few casual conversations with her directly to see if she's interested or not before asking her out on a date.

If all goes well, what do you have to lose right?

 

[Spidey-Bat]

Why is this even a question, she liked and commented on your Facebook status, get to the jewelry store and buy this girl a ring, she's obviously in love with you and wants to have your babies. Liking AND commenting on a Facebook status is a huge sign. I mean I only comment on someone's status so I can get into their pants.

Gee, thanks . I know I'm reading more into it than I should, but I'm not friends with 500 people or getting 20 likes on comments on the **** I post. So when someone does, I notice it more. Especially if it's someone I just friended or haven't seen much since high school. This was also a really boring weekend for me so it distracted me more than it might have any other weekend.

 

[Anubis]

God you people are sad.

 

[Lily Adler]

Okay can someone give me a recap of some success stories of this thread?

 

[lixdexia]

Yup. "Oh we just got married for insurance" doesn't scream "I take marriage seriously." It would be a dealbreaker for a lot of women. Also, many women wouldn't want to be with a married man, so you're gonna have to divorce her at some point. And divorce is expensive even if both parties completely agree on everything.

But who knows though, he could find a chick who equally doesn't believe marriage is serious. I know people who've been together more than 10 years, no yearning to get hitched.

eh, i look at that more as a way of weeding out the superficial *****es. if you can't recognize a contractual agreement as simply that just because of the name attached to it then...i don't even know. and divorce is free-ish to active duty military and their spouses, the only thing i'm really concerned about would be the long-term financial consequences of a divorce. i can get a prenup that takes alimony and dividing property/wealth in half (but i need to check into how the states involved laws would play into that too) but i don't know how it would affect my credit score, taxes, etc.

 

[Kane52630]

Okay can someone give me a recap of some success stories of this thread?

People ask for help, they got laid. The end.

 

[DV8]

Okay can someone give me a recap of some success stories of this thread?

did you say "success" stories?? BWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Lily Adler]

All is right in the world.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

eh, i look at that more as a way of weeding out the superficial *****es. if you can't recognize a contractual agreement as simply that just because of the name attached to it then...i don't even know. and divorce is free-ish to active duty military and their spouses, the only thing i'm really concerned about would be the long-term financial consequences of a divorce. i can get a prenup that takes alimony and dividing property/wealth in half (but i need to check into how the states involved laws would play into that too) but i don't know how it would affect my credit score, taxes, etc.

Well, the bolded says everything that needs to be known. You think a woman is superficial if she has a problem with your fake marriage?!?! Most people looking to date/get into a relationship sees marriage as the end goal, you're looking at it like a business arrangement between two friends, so she can get free healthcare and you, a raise. A woman isn't superficial for seeing a problem with that. And people say gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of marriage...

 

[POWdER-man]

God you people are sad.

What do you mean YOU people?

 

[Anubis]

There is not, nor has their ever been sanctity in marriage. Quite frankly, if more people looked at it as a business deal, the world might be better off.

 

[Anubis]

What do you mean YOU people?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

eh, i look at that more as a way of weeding out the superficial *****es. if you can't recognize a contractual agreement as simply that just because of the name attached to it then...i don't even know. and divorce is free-ish to active duty military and their spouses, the only thing i'm really concerned about would be the long-term financial consequences of a divorce. i can get a prenup that takes alimony and dividing property/wealth in half (but i need to check into how the states involved laws would play into that too) but i don't know how it would affect my credit score, taxes, etc.

I've seen too many guys who have to pay almost half thier income to ex wives, even after those ex-wives are living with other men.

In many of these cases the ex-wives are refusing to re-marry just so they can continue robbing collecting alimony from the last guy, even though they have been living with a new guy for years.

Eat somebody elses cake, and have your own too.

In my state there is a waiver that can be added to Prenups, where a spouse waives their rights to alimony in the event of a divorce.


I have it in mine.

 

[lixdexia]

oh i know, like i said that's like clause 1 of the prenuptual agreement that would have to be in place before any action was taken. i am not about to go into that hole

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Gee, thanks . I know I'm reading more into it than I should, but I'm not friends with 500 people or getting 20 likes on comments on the **** I post. So when someone does, I notice it more. Especially if it's someone I just friended or haven't seen much since high school. This was also a really boring weekend for me so it distracted me more than it might have any other weekend.

I'm sorry. Here's some non-sarcastic advice. Don't read into someone liking or commenting on your status as some type of game they're playing to show they like you in a let's date way. Try to actually have a conversation with her, not just commenting on each other's statuses because that's not really communicating. Also, you're going to two different schools, so starting a relationship is going to be pretty difficult, I'm assuming your plan to ask her on a date is over Spring Break, do you know both your schools have the same dates for Spring Break? She might not even be home, she might be going somewhere for Spring Break, like many college kids do. If she is home at the same time though, you only have one week to really start a relationship before you're seperated again. Also, you say you don't like drinkers, what if she's a drinker? She's in college, so it's a pretty good bet she is. My honest advice is be friendly with her via Facebook and if you notice some sort of connection, try to start dating in the summer, but keep you options open at school because a relationship with someone at your school will be much easier to develop and sustain.

 

[DV8]

People ask for help, they barely got laid. The end.

fixed

 

[Spidey-Bat]

I'm sorry. Here's some non-sarcastic advice. Don't read into someone liking or commenting on your status as some type of game they're playing to show they like you in a let's date way. Try to actually have a conversation with her, not just commenting on each other's statuses because that's not really communicating. Also, you're going to two different schools, so starting a relationship is going to be pretty difficult, I'm assuming your plan to ask her on a date is over Spring Break, do you know both your schools have the same dates for Spring Break? She might not even be home, she might be going somewhere for Spring Break, like many college kids do. If she is home at the same time though, you only have one week to really start a relationship before you're seperated again. Also, you say you don't like drinkers, what if she's a drinker? She's in college, so it's a pretty good bet she is. My honest advice is be friendly with her via Facebook and if you notice some sort of connection, try to start dating in the summer, but keep you options open at school because a relationship with someone at your school will be much easier to develop and sustain.

I know I read too much into it and some of my friends didn't help since they seemed to think the same. It's one reason why I hate Facebook, each person takes it differently. Personally, I don't but I never know with most other people.

As far as my planning, it's just in my nature to plan things ahead. Like I know everything I'm going to eat for lunch this week, it's just what I do. I thought I'd invite her to hang out with our 2 friends during which I ask her to hang out, not as a "let's get serious" type of thing, just "let's hang out just us." If it doesn't happen as I plan, I'll figure something out. As for your questions, she does have off the same week as me (checked with someone I know who goes there). She drinks but not excessively which I have no problem with, it's the going out and getting so drunk you black out that I can't stand (as people here do).

I explained this situation pretty horribly. This is just someone I was interested in high school but never had the courage to ask out. I'd at least like to get to know her better and see if it does lead anywhere since I'm no longer afraid if that happens. I sound much more sane when I put it that way that is really how I view this.