The Lord of the Advice: The Two Towering Relationships thread

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I agree with Optimus, comic girl has you in her back pocket. Don't expect anything from the group movie thing other than your hand to keep you company at the end of the night.



You have great communication in terms of what you two want in bed, but the fact that you don't even know where the relationship is at/headed and won't talk to her about that, means you don't have great communication where it matters. Games only happen when one or both people aren't secure enough to stop playing them. My fiancee and I never played games, we decided it wasn't worth it and were/have been straight with each other, what we wanted and where things were headed.
Honestly picking up a girl, I guess being a 'playa' is about actually not playing games. To quote War Games "this is a game and the only way to win is to not play"

This is the dilemma I'm trying to illustrate to you DS. Girls like her, like the comic girl, actually are very direct about what they want. They 'play the game' of coy and fake attention because it's easier than being blunt with someone who is nice to them. Your best bet is to go back to fling girl, tell her that's what you are doing, and THAT will make her sh** or get off the pot. She gets all benefits from you and no challenge.
 
If fling girl wants to get serious, then why had she not said so? She has said nothing!

Yes, I am a few blocks from fling girls place right now as I post, but I dont want to arrive early as that indicates despreation or being too needy. I arrive fashionably late!

And just for the record, I went all out in the romantic department last Friday when she came over for supper. I realized it was not just supper. So I stepped up to the plate, long stemmed roses, soft music of her fav stuff, candle light, the entire 9 freakin yards!

And what happened? Everything went prefectly but shd left in the morning. ( she told me she had to leave! WTF!) Major piss off!

And comic girl has no
Clue! She was texting me again today while I wss at work. But I see what you are saying. Ask comic girl out and make my intentions known. Stop wasting time. Normally I would agree, but I have time to work on her.
 
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If fling girl wants to get serious, then why had she not said so? She has said nothing!
They never say anything. They always play along with the guy who doesn't really want a relationship because he's easier and less intense than her overbearing crushes. Girls get emotionally attached much quicker than guys. That's one of the number one things a 'player' knows. This other girl isn't sexually attracted to you, if she was she wouldn't put you in situations where you can't really make a move. This includes your hotel room because she backed off from getting physical. People don't back off in situations like that unless the booze don't wear off or something.

If you can get a date date tonight with Fling Girl take it. You're communicating to Comic Girl that just friends outings are a okay. You don't want that though. So go on the date instead.
 
They never say anything. They always play along with the guy who doesn't really want a relationship because he's easier and less intense than her overbearing crushes. Girls get emotionally attached much quicker than guys. That's one of the number one things a 'player' knows. This other girl isn't sexually attracted to you, if she was she wouldn't put you in situations where you can't really make a move. This includes your hotel room because she backed off from getting physical. People don't back off in situations like that unless the booze don't wear off or something.

If you can get a date date tonight with Fling Girl take it. You're communicating to Comic Girl that just friends outings are a okay. You don't want that though. So go on the date instead.

I am going to fling girls place right now!

And comic girl would never make a move. She likes to be told what to do!
 
As long as she's not the only girl you are talking to in a quasi dating sense.

Like Erz says, as long as this isn't the only girl you're talking to it's a good one to keep in the back pocket. I just would play it cool and not really try to push it anywhere until she is back. No point.

I already have another date with a completely different girl lined up for next week, so I'd say I'm doing fine.

Like I said, I think everyone else is more concerned about my future prospects than I am. :)
 
Not necessarily concerned.

Just aware of your fumbling in the past.
 
Yeah, we've come to expect you to f**k it up. :o
 
Yeah, we've come to expect you to f**k it up. :o
If a girl really likes you, you can do anything short of kicking puppies and she'll still be into you.

The only mistake in that case is not making a move to begin with. :o
 
Past, not current.

Obviously I've grown and done something right and figured something out since my last pursuit got me the intended result.
Whoa pal, let's back up. You had what you called a relationship, but it was definitely a chore for you and felt in your words more like a high school relationship than a real one. Speaking for experience, you're intuition on that is exactly right. You had a very immature relationship with someone who essentially toy-ed with you a bit (which is also to say that really I don't feel like you did too much wrong on your end, other than waste your time maybe).

You just need to make sure you're getting out as much as possible. It's good your talking to more than just one girl, but you got to make sure you're getting out to meet new people too. That well will dry up quick if you aren't constantly replenishing. Having really solid friends to go out with helps too.

Like Erz and Anubis said, we've heard these stories a lot, and they all started off promising, we're just aware of your past f*** ups. We don't want you to f*** up, so when we see things we've seen you do before, like wait two months on a girl, it definitely is a red flag to us. I mean it sounds like you're doing some things right too, but you can't get defensive everytime you're asked about it either. If you do that here, that may be something you do in reality. I'd watch out for that. Part of getting really close with women quickly is being able to completely laugh off negative things people say about you in public.
 
Whoa pal, let's back up. You had what you called a relationship, but it was definitely a chore for you and felt in your words more like a high school relationship than a real one. Speaking for experience, you're intuition on that is exactly right. You had a very immature relationship with someone who essentially toy-ed with you a bit (which is also to say that really I don't feel like you did too much wrong on your end, other than waste your time maybe).

You just need to make sure you're getting out as much as possible. It's good your talking to more than just one girl, but you got to make sure you're getting out to meet new people too. That well will dry up quick if you aren't constantly replenishing. Having really solid friends to go out with helps too.

Like Erz and Anubis said, we've heard these stories a lot, and they all started off promising, we're just aware of your past f*** ups. We don't want you to f*** up, so when we see things we've seen you do before, like wait two months on a girl, it definitely is a red flag to us. I mean it sounds like you're doing some things right too, but you can't get defensive everytime you're asked about it either. If you do that here, that may be something you do in reality. I'd watch out for that. Part of getting really close with women quickly is being able to completely laugh off negative things people say about you in public.

I can laugh stuff off plenty, but it gets annoying when any and every post I make in this thread with even the slightest of details (left out purposefully) gets me a lecture from you and Erzengel like I'm some little kid that can't function without someone holding my hand.

I understand that I haven't had the greatest past, but I'm not the same guy anymore who made all those mistakes. I've learned and I've grown from my mistakes and mishaps.
 
This thread provides more guffaws than a 1960s sitcom laugh-track.
 
I can laugh stuff off plenty, but it gets annoying when any and every post I make in this thread with even the slightest of details (left out purposefully) gets me a lecture from you and Erzengel like I'm some little kid that can't function without someone holding my hand.

I understand that I haven't had the greatest past, but I'm not the same guy anymore who made all those mistakes. I've learned and I've grown from my mistakes and mishaps.

You've been posting in these threads for a long time. I'm not sure if you enjoy the camaraderie, the participation, or honestly the attention.

And obviously you are aware that I've been in these threads since it's inception and my responses to you went from, Good point Erz, to I'm tired of your lectures.

My advice in this threads are usually very consistent. But your responses to me have never been patronizing until I made a comment(s) that hit too close to home.

And I saw it with SuperMike and obviously I see it again with Prime and me going out of your way to call people out.

I'm not trying to make fun of you, but if you keep posting in this thread, you may not like some of the honest responses which I feel have been pretty diplomatic. Well at least mine have.
 
I can laugh stuff off plenty, but it gets annoying when any and every post I make in this thread with even the slightest of details (left out purposefully) gets me a lecture from you and Erzengel like I'm some little kid that can't function without someone holding my hand.

I understand that I haven't had the greatest past, but I'm not the same guy anymore who made all those mistakes. I've learned and I've grown from my mistakes and mishaps.
First of all I don't think I've ever suggested people change themselves, in other words what they like, what their religion is, and what they see themselves as. I think you misunderstand a lot of our advice. First of all you are the "same guy", you're always gonna be the "same guy", that kind of hyperbolic change complete with epiphanies is cinematic bullsh**. You can only change your habits. Fat people only get skinny if they force themselves to diet and exercise every day for example. It's that kind of tedium. Same thing with women. If you keep doing the same thing you get the same results. I tried to point that out to you when you were still dating the last girl.

Girls don't do things to spite you, they do things for their own private, well thought out [they think] reasons. So it's like dancing. You don't try make all the moves. You do something then watch how they react to it. If they react negatively, or seem to do so reluctantly you should back off a bit. I feel I've pointed out many times you do this. You wait, then come on to strong.

Like this two months away girl texts you and now you're all excited. I mean it's great. There's some girl right now in my upstate hinting she's coming to see me. I saw it. Read it. There's no point in me really following up on it until I know she's in town. Just kind of have to go with the flow. So this girl is two months down the road. Cool, you'll find out if whatever she did meant anything then. You can't force your own meanings onto this. They either are or they aren't.

I'll give you this because I feel like it will help you understand all that crap SuperMike PUA BS.

Basically my roommates a DJ so I generally see bars from a bird's eye view, and that's very illuminating. You see how Girls who play games operate. First off, they move around a lot. They move from one guy to the next, and they usually do the same routine. They have a habit. They'll dance up on a guy. Get a girl to do some overt sexy gesture, and then the guys will really get into it and spend a ton of money. Girls get bored and then they move on. That's why it's called a game, because that's what it is: "a game". Just like any good Vegas style game the only way to win is not to play it. Not to be the sucker. That's why married guys, for example, are said to be so popular. They don't play the game. Players take it one step further and they have their own game, sometimes one that involves a lot of lying (although the girls in this equation lie just as much). That's where all that crazy peacocking and stupid negging nonsense comes about, or sometimes some will claim playing it super sweet works, because really everyone's routine will be unique. That's all that is, but that's also why people tell you to be yourself. Still don't play the game though.

That's what we're trying to save you from doing. Is falling for the game and the display. So what? She says she'll see you in two months, she says she'll try to be more intimate, she says this thing to make you think she likes you in that way. You can't fall for that stuff. Got to look at what they do, and don't fall for the illusion.
 
Got stupidly drunk last night and ended up kissing a friend who i'm really not interested in that way, but who I think likes me a bit.

I'm hoping the fact that I also kissed a canadian woman i'd just met will make it clear it didn't mean anything :funny: But I still do feel kind of bad.

This is exactly why I need to just stop going out :(

Also, was nice to hear this morning that this guy I met a couple of weeks ago keeps talking about how much he liked 'that becky girl'. He was pretty hot :)
 
First of all I don't think I've ever suggested people change themselves, in other words what they like, what their religion is, and what they see themselves as. I think you misunderstand a lot of our advice. First of all you are the "same guy", you're always gonna be the "same guy", that kind of hyperbolic change complete with epiphanies is cinematic bullsh**. You can only change your habits. Fat people only get skinny if they force themselves to diet and exercise every day for example. It's that kind of tedium. Same thing with women. If you keep doing the same thing you get the same results. I tried to point that out to you when you were still dating the last girl.

Girls don't do things to spite you, they do things for their own private, well thought out [they think] reasons. So it's like dancing. You don't try make all the moves. You do something then watch how they react to it. If they react negatively, or seem to do so reluctantly you should back off a bit. I feel I've pointed out many times you do this. You wait, then come on to strong.

Like this two months away girl texts you and now you're all excited. I mean it's great. There's some girl right now in my upstate hinting she's coming to see me. I saw it. Read it. There's no point in me really following up on it until I know she's in town. Just kind of have to go with the flow. So this girl is two months down the road. Cool, you'll find out if whatever she did meant anything then. You can't force your own meanings onto this. They either are or they aren't.

I'll give you this because I feel like it will help you understand all that crap SuperMike PUA BS.

Basically my roommates a DJ so I generally see bars from a bird's eye view, and that's very illuminating. You see how Girls who play games operate. First off, they move around a lot. They move from one guy to the next, and they usually do the same routine. They have a habit. They'll dance up on a guy. Get a girl to do some overt sexy gesture, and then the guys will really get into it and spend a ton of money. Girls get bored and then they move on. That's why it's called a game, because that's what it is: "a game". Just like any good Vegas style game the only way to win is not to play it. Not to be the sucker. That's why married guys, for example, are said to be so popular. They don't play the game. Players take it one step further and they have their own game, sometimes one that involves a lot of lying (although the girls in this equation lie just as much). That's where all that crazy peacocking and stupid negging nonsense comes about, or sometimes some will claim playing it super sweet works, because really everyone's routine will be unique. That's all that is, but that's also why people tell you to be yourself. Still don't play the game though.

That's what we're trying to save you from doing. Is falling for the game and the display. So what? She says she'll see you in two months, she says she'll try to be more intimate, she says this thing to make you think she likes you in that way. You can't fall for that stuff. Got to look at what they do, and don't fall for the illusion.

This is why I'm getting annoyed with this stuff, because everything is being completely taken out of context.

Where did I say I was 1.) "excited" or 2.) "waiting" on the 2 month girl?

I asked a very simple question - should I try to ask her out now, or should I wait until she comes back.

THAT'S it. And now I have everyone making assumptions that I'm just sitting around waiting, hoping, and praying that this girl I won't see for 2 months becomes the love of my life.

That's why I'm getting frustrated with the responses lately, because they are making assumptions about my mindset that were never even indicated by my posts, let alone anything remotely accurate to the reality of the situation.

I'm just tired of the assumptions that I'm just sitting in some kind of helpless ball, forgoing living my life as I normally would because "OMG some girl 2 months away LIKES ME!!! OMG!!"

I asked a simple question that by no means warranted assumptions made about me, or lectures based on those assumptions.
 
Dude, enough.

I don't think you're some sort of socially inept guy who just can't make it work with women.

I also don't think you're waiting around for this girl.

However, the fact that you even have to even question on whether asking this girl out now or waiting 2 months then do it?

I can see why people make assumptions on your actions and the way you think.

For most other people, they'd already should know the answer to this.
 
Love this thread.

Nell: I hate lectures.

Erz and Optimus: Give him a lecture.
 
Ok, so before the friends movie thing today, comic girl texted me and I am meeting her to hang out for awhile, just her, then I am driving her to work. Then after that back to her work for the movie thing with friends. then beers

Thats a start I guess.
 
I mean that sounds a bit better. Still don't care for the just friends movie. Maybe when you hang out though you'll see something more concrete. Just play it cool.
 
I make a post referencing girl on girl action and NO ONE responds to this, because you're too busy bickering...!?

:hehe:
 
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Pics or it didn't happen.

:word::word::word:

I didn't think to take any :(

I do have this three way kiss pic to make up for it though :p

188533_4566352617_1449_n.jpg
 
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