The most ridiculous thing you've ever heard from a customer

[jaguarr]

Hahahaha. Here's a question for you, Jag: Do waiters always have to ask you how your meal is when your mouth is full? Are you supposed to ask then?

When I was a waiter, I always did it to the tables who I didn't really want to talk to but seemed to always want to interact with me way more than I wanted to interact with them.

jag

 

[Laa Dee Dah]

When I was in college, I waited tables at a very nice seafood house. We used to get in a lot of rich a-holes who thought they were important and liked to show off to the friends or clients they were there having dinner with. Variations of this story happened numerous times during my tenure there, but here's the basic version of it:

Rich A-Hole: Oh, boy! Boy! *snapping his finger*

Me (the waiter): Are you talking to me? *surprised that someone would be rude enough to actually call me that*

Rich A-Hole: Yes, boy. I believe our party is ready to order our meals, so let's stop just standing around and get a move on, eh? Chop chop! Hahahahahahaaaaaaaa! (Tries to make the people he's with think he's just having fun with me instead of being a rude, obnoxious A-Hole by laughing loudly)

Me: Alright, what would you like, Ma'am? *starts taking the order of the lady at the table first*

Rich A-Hole: I'll have the Top Sirloin. Tell the chef that I want it Medium. Not pink in the middle. Not burnt. Perfectly medium and tell him not to f**k it up.

Me: ....

Rich A-Hole: Oh, yeah, and I'll have the baked potato loaded with everything. Tell the chef to pick out the biggest one for me! I don't want some little tiny thing on my plate. And no vegetables or salad. I'm a MAN not a rabbit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh, yeah, and I'll take another martini, too. Tell the bartender not to skimp on the Glen Livet this time!

Me: Alllllright. And for you, Ma'am? *goes back to the lady at the table to take her order*

Rich A-Hole: Oh, and boy, we need more bread when you have a moment.

Me: I'll have the busser bring that right out to you, sir, as soon as I've finished getting everyone's orders.

Rich A-Hole: I don't think you understood me, boy, we need bread! Now! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

Me: ... *flags down a busser and asks them to go get some bread for the table and then finally gets through the process of taking everyone elses orders.

After being run around for various things by this Rich A-Hole while everyone's enjoying their salads or soups, dinner finally arrives.

Me: There we are. *finishes serving everyone their plates* I hope you enjoy your dinners. Is there anything I can get you? No? Okay, I'll stop back by in a bit to check on you and make sure everything's alright, then.

Rich A-Hole: Oh, no you don't, boy. You're staying right here until I know this steak is PERFECT! *cuts a piece off and inspects it before putting it into his mouth, tentatively* This hasn't been cooked to a medium. There's still just a little pink in there!

Me: *looking at the steak which is cooked to the most perfect medium I've ever seen before* It looks very even and medium, sir.

Rich A-Hole: Well, you must be blind AND stupid! Take it back and tell the chef to do it right this time! And tell him I want the BIG potato he's got back there! And bring me another martini!

Me: ...

Chef: *"accidentally" drops the steak on the ground and steps on it a few times before getting it onto the grill. Drools on it a bit while he's picking it up as he mutters four letter words about Rich A-Hole*

Me: *serves steak which has basically been heated up a little bit by the chef, but otherwise hasn't been cooked much more than that; the potato is the same freakin' one he had before*

Rich A-Hole: *cuts another piece* That's more like it! Tell the chef he should have done it like that in the first place! And THAT is a baked potato, not that little tiny thing he gave me before.

Me: I'm glad you like it, sir.

After dinner, Rich A-Hole continues his usual schtick while ordering dessert. Everyone he is with looks embarassed. Then he says those magical words:

Rich A-Hole: Oh, boy! I would like some decaf coffee, please.

Me: Absolutely sir! *goes and gets Rich A-Hole is coffee and is very attentive with the coffee pot the remainder of the time that Rich A-Hole is in the restaurant, making sure he's got a full cup.

Rich A-Hole: Are you SURE this is decaf?

Me: Absolutely, sir.

Rich A-Hole: Well, at least they do the coffee right in this place. *drinks four cups of "decaf" and then leaves a sh1tty tip just like we all knew he would. Actually says "Thanks, boy! You might not go on welfare after all!" on his way out.

Me: Good night. Drive safe. *said with a big smile*

What Rich A-Hole doesn't know, and is the reason I'm smiling so big, is that Rich A-Hole just drank four cups of what we called "Busser Coffee". Busser Coffee was a pot of the richest, darkest, most caffeine-laden roast we had, filled to the brim of the brewing basket before being brewed, with a decaf cap on top of the pot. It was made especially for guys like Rich A-Hole to make sure they had plenty of time to think about what a Rich A-Hole they are and how rude they were to the staff of our restaurant while they are staring at the ceiling...all...night....long.

jag

I doff my cap to your amazing pre-meditation

Hilarious

 

[jaguarr]

I doff my cap to your amazing pre-meditation

Hilarious

Working in a restaurant, where you can't really lash out at the guests, led to some rather inventive passive-aggressive behaviors that allowed the staff to exact revenge on the patrons without them really realizing it at the time, if ever.

jag

 

[Electro UK]

That's genius. It was funny and taught me that I could read upside down.

I had to bend my neck to read it... now my neck hurts

But anways, mine isn't a stupid customer... mines a stupid employee.


Me: Excuse me, where do you keep your Star Wars figures?

Staff member: I'm sorry?

Me: The Star Wars figures, where do you keep them?

Staff member: Star Wars?

Me: Yes... Star Wars figures

Staff member: What's Star Wars?

Me: *Jaw drops open*... lightsabers, space battles, little green man... ring a bell?

Staff member: ...our Star Trek stuff is at the back of the store.

Me: How nice for them... where are the Star Wars figures?

Staff member: I'm sorry, I don't think there's such a thing as Star Wars

Me:...oh right... uh... I'll just be going now...

The Star Wars figures were 3 isles away... the guy had NEVER heard of Star Wars... freak.

 

[tomiscool]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

Tom
The voice of reason

 

[JLBats]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

Tom
The voice of reason

Yes, but Star Wars is one of the cultural icons of a generation, how could you not have heard of it?

 

[Electro UK]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

Tom
The voice of reason

Shouldn't you change that to The voice of an absolute idiot?

 

[tomiscool]

I just destest people who go on forums and call people who arent interested in what they are freaks. It isn't on. And for what it is worth, star wars is S**T.

Tom
The voice of reason

 

[C. Lee]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

If that is how you feel.....then why are you here at....The SuperheroHype?

 

[Outsiderzedge]

Shouldn't you change that to The voice of an absolute idiot?

tee hee

 

[jaguarr]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

Tom
The voice of reason

Okay, "Voice Of Reason" (which I'll take to mean "Guy Who Has Waited For An Opportune Moment To Register Just So He Could Bash People On This Site"), are you asking us a question in the part that's in bold above, or is that supposed to be some sort of judgemental statement? Hmmmm?

jag

 

[JLBats]

I just destest people who go on forums and call people who arent interested in what they are freaks. It isn't on. And for what it is worth, star wars is S**T.

Tom
The voice of reason

Actually, Star Wars, at least a New Hope, was a pretty well-constructed, fun movie. Regardless, that's not the issue. The issue was someone not knowing one of the biggest movies of the past 50 years. Not the actual quality of said movie.

 

[Electro UK]

I just destest people who go on forums and call people who arent interested in what they are freaks. It isn't on. And for what it is worth, star wars is S**T.

Tom
The voice of reason

Not interested? The guy hadn't HEARD of Star Wars, he worked at a toy store... where they had loads of Star Wars figures...

And for what its worth, your opinion is nothing.

 

[C. Lee]

I just destest people who go on forums and call people who arent interested in what they are freaks. It isn't on. And for what it is worth, star wars is S**T.

But....you are basicly doing the same about people who like what YOU are not interested in. Plus....you use profanity.

Not nice at all.

 

[tomiscool]

The voice of an absolute idiot? See you are doing it again. being nasty to people just because they dont like the same stuff as you. I like 50 cent, but if someone didnt know who they are, i wouldnt go on to an 50 centforum and call them a freak.... i would just say...o well.... people are different

Tom
The voice of REASON

 

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Don't you think that you are the freak?
so what someone doesn't know what star wars is? that doesn't make them a freak. In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

Tom
The voice of reason

I'm just kind of unimpressed with people who are oblivious regarding culture.
I'm just as dismayed when people don't know who Milton Berle, Robert Johnson, "Refrigerator" Perry, Sigfried and Roy, Farrah Fawcett Majors"etc. are or they don't know the source of quotes like "You talkin' to me?", "Frankly my Dear, I don't give a damn." "Where's the Beef", OR " Beam me up, Scotty."
*shrug*

It shows a disinterest in the past that turns me off.

 

[Ronny Shade]

[pointless bashing for comedic effect] 50 CENT SUCKS!![/pointless bashing for comedic effect]

 

[JLBats]

The voice of an absolute idiot? See you are doing it again. being nasty to people just because they dont like the same stuff as you. I like 50 cent, but if someone didnt know who they are, i wouldnt go on to an 50 centforum and call them a freak.... i would just say...o well.... people are different

Tom
The voice of REASON

No, despite the fact that I detest 50 Cent, you'd have a right to call someone who worked in a music store a freak for not knowing who 50 Cent is, since he's one of the most popular names in current music.

 

[tomiscool]

Okay, "Voice Of Reason" (which I'll take to mean "Guy Who Has Waited For An Opportune Moment To Register Just So He Could Bash People On This Site"), are you asking us a question in the part that's in bold above, or is that supposed to be some sort of judgemental statement? Hmmmm?

jag

It was followed by a question mark, so it was a question. Bloody hell, punctuation in comic books must be bad if you cant understand that.

Tom
The voice of reason

 

[jaguarr]

It reeks of hypocrisy from new posters in here.

jag

 

[JLBats]

It was followed by a question mark, so it was a question. Bloody hell, punctuation in comic books must be bad if you cant understand that.

Tom
The voice of reason

The problem was, it wasn't really constructed as if meant to be a question.

 

[Electro UK]

The voice of an absolute idiot? See you are doing it again. being nasty to people just because they dont like the same stuff as you. I like 50 cent, but if someone didnt know who they are, i wouldnt go on to an 50 centforum and call them a freak.... i would just say...o well.... people are different

Tom
The voice of REASON

You came on here and called me a freak... oh I'm sorry I'll just sit there and take that from you.

Now you see its possible not to hear of 50 Cent... because he's relatively new and nowhere NEAR as popular as Star Wars, that had one huge movie last summer, making it basically impossible to avoid adverts or merchandise in almost any store.

Now personally, I'm not stupid enough to sign up to a 50 Cent forum just to say I hate him, I doubt you're stupid enough to sign up to a comic forum to say you hate comics... oh wait you just did...

 

[Alexia Dark]

[pointless bashing for comedic effect] 50 CENT SUCKS!![/pointless bashing for comedic effect]

Where have you been since your registration? You just seemed to pop up this week. You're interesting. Stick around .

 

[tomiscool]

No, despite the fact that I detest 50 Cent, you'd have a right to call someone who worked in a music store a freak for not knowing who 50 Cent is, since he's one of the most popular names in current music.

It may seem a bit strange, but it is harsh to call someone a freak, dont you think?

Tom
The voice of REASON

 

[jaguarr]

It was followed by a question mark, so it was a question. Bloody hell, punctuation in comic books must be bad if you cant understand that.

Tom
The voice of reason

So you were asking us the following question in your original post, then:

In my book, a freak is someone who obsesses over comic books, and posts 3,000 posts on a super hero forum?

I'm glad you clarified that. To answer your question, no, that is not a freak in your book. Please delete your post and try again.

Regards,
jag