The Official Superman Reboot Caption Thread - Part 2

[X Knight]

Batman: "I am the NIGHT!! I am Vengeance!! I AM THE G******N BATMAN!!"

Superman: "Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man."

 

[Panthro]

Hehehehe

Superman's reaction to AVX #11

 

[ultimatefan]

BATMAN: Clark, do you want to start spinning around the Earth and turning back time again?

SUPERMAN: It´s okay, I take decaf now.

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: Is this the most beautifu planet in the universe, or what?
MM: Pfff, that´s as much silly bias as that whole "miss universe" thing.

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: Is this the most beautifu planet in the universe, or what?
MM: Pfff, that´s as much silly bias as that whole "miss universe" thing.

Hehehehehehehe

BATMAN: "So Marvel's whole strategy now is that to make their heroes hit each other?"
SUPERMAN: "They still get more films made than us."
BATMAN: "While so many of my brethren must settle for animation. Clearly something is not right here..."

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehe

SUPERMAN: Hey.
IRON MAN: Whassup.
SUPERMAN: Nice day today.
IRON MAN: Yep.
SUPERMAN: Not too windy.
IRON MAN: Nope.
SUPERMAN: Kinda moist.
IRON MAN: A little.
SUPERMAN: So, can we now stop pretending this is not all kinds of awesome and then some, and anyone who hasn´t tasted this God-like experience is a humongous feculent pile of s***?
IRON MAN: F*** yeah! Loo-sers!! Loo-sers!!

 

[dnno1]

Iron Man: "So, what are you doing tonight?"
Superman: "Well, I just saved the world while you were talking, so I'm up for some R&R."
Iron Man: "let's go to the movies."
Superman: "I've got a better Idea. Give me a second."

Iron Man: "What was that all about and why do we look different?"
Superman: "Why go to the movies when you can be in them."

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehehe

LUTHOR: 47 percent of the American people are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That, that's an entitlement.

SUPERMAN: Can you believe this scumbag actually got to be president once?

 

[Adenjo]

 

[ultimatefan]

I feel that pain...

 

[Panthro]

Great stuff guys.

LUTHOR: "You're the Man now Dog."

SUPERMAN: "Was there ever any doubt? "

 

[dnno1]

Superman: "What's that get-up all about?"

Wonder Woman: "We're going out on a date and I am practicing safe sex."

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehe

 

[Panthro]

Superman: "What's that get-up all about?"

Wonder Woman: "We're going out on a date and I am practicing safe sex."

Bwahahahahaha

REEVE SUPERMAN: "Hello I'm Ben."

 

[Panthro]

BAD SUPERMAN: "Alright, who hid my booze? I'm looking at you Bruce."

 

[ultimatefan]

hehehehehehe

I´m Batman, mate!

And I´m a bloody good friend!

And I´m your lovely shire Spider-Man, my good lads!

 

[ultimatefan]

SUPERMAN: If you build it, they´ll come.
MM: A baseball field? IN the middle of the goddamn ocean?!
SUPERMAN: Hey, if you can´t do better than Kevin Costner, you might as well become him...

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Superman: (Just a little bit closer, i've almost got it!)

MM: Clark, you know I can read minds. You're never going to give me a wet willy.

Superman: (Dammit!)

 

[elgaz]

MM : "Clark ............ are you absolutely positive this is the place?"

Superman : "Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah. I mean, it was only this morning that I was here."

MM : "I think you're mistaken. There's nothing here. It's a wasteland."

Superman : "It's very confusing. I coulda swore this is where Metropolis is. I wonder if Lex has been hiding Kryptonite somewhere near me, perhaps I'm hallucinating."

MM : "I need you to detail your movements this morning. Perhaps we can work it out together."

Superman : "Well, I left Metropolis about 9am this morning, it was pretty quiet so I thought I'd take a few minutes and have a shave. I normally do it indoors but the sun was out, the birds were singing, and I thought what the hell ........ let's have an outdoor experience. So I flew up onto this rock (or what I thought was this rock), sat down, pulled out my mirror, and just went at the stubble with my heat vision."

MM : "Clark ........... was Metropolis in front of you or behind you?"

Superman : "Well I didn't want to risk the heat vision bouncing off the mirror and setting fire to those bushes behind us, so I turned round and Metropolis was behind me."

MM : "............................ so your mirror was facing Metropolis?"

Superman : *pause* "..................................... oh s**t".

 

[Panthro]

Great stuff guys

SUPERMAN: "Somewhere out there is Wally West, his wife, and his kids. As his friends, it is our job to find him and restore him to his rightful place as the One True Flash."
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: "Agreed. I'm getting really sick and tired of Barry and his lame Laurel & Hardy impressions."

 

[dnno1]

SUPERMAN: "I don't know why so many fans are upset about this. Don't they realize that this is just a temporary thing to boost sales, raise eyebrows, and give the forums something to overload before the writers inevitably send us in different directions?"
WONDER WOMAN: "Meh, they're our fans, it's what they do."

You know this kind of explains this scene a bit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbXx_kwc-gE&feature=player_detailpage#t=199s

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff. Don´t worry WW, status quo always comes back...

SUPERMAN: But Bruce, how come you didn´t go for Bane´s mask in your first fight?

BATMAN: I didn´t know what the mask did. For all I knew, it was a symbol, like Joker´s make-up or my own mask. Remember, even the CIA agent questioned Bane about the mask and he answered cryptically.

SUPERMAN: And how come he left you with a doctor in the pit and you recovered so quickly?

BATMAN: Remember, I didn´t have a spinal chord injury like in Knightfall, it was an exposed vertebrae, a prison is gonna have a guy who knows how to pop a bone back in place. It´s not like I had Doctor House performing brain surgery with robots on me. And it wasn´t that easy, I spent months recovering in that pit.

SUPERMAN: But how did you get back to Gotham without any money, and so soon?

BATMAN: In BB, I spent seven years travelling all over the world and I didn´t have money either, that wasn´t my first rodeo. And it took me three weeks.

SUPERMAN: Okay, but how did you survive the nuclear fusion reactor explosion?

BATMAN: I had fixed The Bat´s autopilot. The reactor had a destruction range of six miles, a distance that souped up chopper could cover in very little time. I had an escape pod in my frikking car, you think I wouldn´t have something similar in a flying machine?

SUPERMAN: Okay, okay, fine, but how did you...

BATMAN: Clark, for the last time, stop going to these fanboy message boards. How these people manage to waste so much time with those petty arguments, that´s a "plot hole" that has no answer...

 

[Panthro]

Great stuff. Don´t worry WW, status quo always comes back...

SUPERMAN: But Bruce, how come you didn´t go for Bane´s mask in your first fight?

BATMAN: I didn´t know what the mask did. For all I knew, it was a symbol, like Joker´s make-up or my own mask. Remember, even the CIA agent questioned Bane about the mask and he answered cryptically.

SUPERMAN: And how come he left you with a doctor in the pit and you recovered so quickly?

BATMAN: Remember, I didn´t have a spinal chord injury like in Knightfall, it was an exposed vertebrae, a prison is gonna have a guy who knows how to pop a bone back in place. It´s not like I had Doctor House performing brain surgery with robots on me. And it wasn´t that easy, I spent months recovering in that pit.

SUPERMAN: But how did you get back to Gotham without any money, and so soon?

BATMAN: In BB, I spent seven years travelling all over the world and I didn´t have money either, that wasn´t my first rodeo. And it took me three weeks.

SUPERMAN: Okay, but how did you survive the nuclear fusion reactor explosion?

BATMAN: I had fixed The Bat´s autopilot. The reactor had a destruction range of six miles, a distance that souped up chopper could cover in very little time. I had an escape pod in my frikking car, you think I wouldn´t have something similar in a flying machine?

SUPERMAN: Okay, okay, fine, but how did you...

BATMAN: Clark, for the last time, stop going to these fanboy message boards. How these people manage to waste so much time with those petty arguments, that´s a "plot hole" that has no answer...

Hehehehehe

SUPERMAN: "So I hear the Perks of Being A Wallflower only got a limited release."
BATMAN: "I know. Surprising given it was based on a critically acclaimed book and stars Emma Watson of the Harry Potter franchise. You'd think the studio would want to capitalize on her and the perception of being her first big post-Potter project."
SUPERMAN: "Meh, it's a movie about angst ridden teens, it's not that unique an experience."
BATMAN: "That's shallow Clark."
SUPERMAN: "Says the guy who actually paid money to go see Wolverine Origins."
BATMAN: "Shut up."

SUPERMAN: "You know hitting 100 issues used to be a badge of honor, now it's seen as a kiss of death. What happened?"
BATMAN: "Continuity, basically. No one wants to deal with it. Fans don't want to deal with it. Writers, artists and editors don't want to deal with it, and sales being what they are now they're afraid that fans of all ages will feel turned off by the big numbers like they'll be walking into an adventure they won't understand, etc."

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff.

LUTHOR: Forget all I did in the past, this is the perfect real estate scam: I´ll offer people a ton of credit to buy houses they can´t really afford, and get people to put for sale houses no one really wants, then I´ll bet against my own clients to collect insurance money, and when the whole thing blows up I´ll hold the economy hostage, get a ton of bail money from government and stay rich while the dumb losers stay homeless and poor.

SUPERMAN: Dammit Luthor, even for comic book villainy standards that´s low.

 

[hulk24]

MM : "Clark ............ are you absolutely positive this is the place?"

Superman : "Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah. I mean, it was only this morning that I was here."

MM : "I think you're mistaken. There's nothing here. It's a wasteland."

Superman : "It's very confusing. I coulda swore this is where Metropolis is. I wonder if Lex has been hiding Kryptonite somewhere near me, perhaps I'm hallucinating."

MM : "I need you to detail your movements this morning. Perhaps we can work it out together."

Superman : "Well, I left Metropolis about 9am this morning, it was pretty quiet so I thought I'd take a few minutes and have a shave. I normally do it indoors but the sun was out, the birds were singing, and I thought what the hell ........ let's have an outdoor experience. So I flew up onto this rock (or what I thought was this rock), sat down, pulled out my mirror, and just went at the stubble with my heat vision."

MM : "Clark ........... was Metropolis in front of you or behind you?"

Superman : "Well I didn't want to risk the heat vision bouncing off the mirror and setting fire to those bushes behind us, so I turned round and Metropolis was behind me."

MM : "............................ so your mirror was facing Metropolis?"

Superman : *pause* "..................................... oh s**t".

lmfao! nice!