The Official Superman Reboot Caption Thread

[The Navigator]

"I know, I know...all the gun fights, the car chases, the sex I don't want to have with woman butI have to...all thanks to what you guys do."

"And w'd do it again and ag--"

"Hey hey hey! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!"

 

[kedrell]

Supes: "Yeah, I'm just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I'm on my way."

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys, especially Supes teasing Bats about his broodiness.

 

[OptimusPrime114]

It won't be long before a caption post says: "THIS IS KRYPTON!"

 

[kedrell]

We've already had that, I'm sure.

 

[ultimatefan]

ZOD: Hah, I´ll get back from the dead and be the main villain in the movies again!
SUPERMAN: Yeah, but this time you won´t be played by Terence Stamp.
ZOD: Aw crap.
SUPERMAN: And you don´t get to bang Sarah Douglas.
ZOD: S***!
SUPERMAN: And Lois will probably be a hotter actress than Margot Kidder or Kate Bosworth.
ZOD: What, what does that have to do with me?
SUPERMAN: Nothing, but will be pretty sweet for me.
ZOD: Go to hell.

 

[Panthro]

The first meeting...

BATMAN:...and that's how I became Batman.
SUPERMAN: Really? That's it?
BATMAN: What?
SUPERMAN: Oh, yeah, you're all broody and melodramatic because you lost your biological parents? I lost mybiological planet, man.
BATMAN: Well, you weren't old enough to see it, you were an infant. I watched it happen.
SUPERMAN: I watched it happened by way of my dead father's videotapes running over and over again as my little baby space pod rocketed towards hicksville. Did you have to grow up slinging s**t, by the way?
BATMAN: I grew up training, honing my body to--
SUPERMAN: Yeah, didn't think so. You also didn't have to live in an apartment on a reporter's salary, constantly having to hide your secret identity from everyone who cares about you and dumbing yourself down in front of the hottest woman you've ever met while keeping track of madman moguls, extraterrestrial cyborgs, or otherworldly conquerors. You got a five story mansion and billions of dollars to throw away on your cute little toys, your fancy parties and your hook--oh, I'm sorry, escorts. Grim and gritty...ha! You should be Mr. Sunshine compared to me.
BATMAN: Well, you....
SUPERMAN:...
BATMAN: ...you wear bright red underwear on your costume. How lame is that, huh? Spitcurl?
SUPERMAN...(slow clap)

It's funny because it's true.

 

[Panthro]

ZOD: Hah, I´ll get back from the dead and be the main villain in the movies again!
SUPERMAN: Yeah, but this time you won´t be played by Terence Stamp.
ZOD: Aw crap.
SUPERMAN: And you don´t get to bang Sarah Douglas.
ZOD: S***!
SUPERMAN: And Lois will probably be a hotter actress than Margot Kidder or Kate Bosworth.
ZOD: What, what does that have to do with me?
SUPERMAN: Nothing, but will be pretty sweet for me.
ZOD: Go to hell.

 

[Panthro]

We've already had that, I'm sure.

But just in case we didn't -

ZOD: "This is blasphemy! This is madness!"
SUPERMAN: "Madness? This... is... KRYPTON!!!"

 

[Timstuff]

 

[Panthro]

 

[ultimatefan]

Thanks Panthro, love the Luthor one!

 

[ultimatefan]

ZOD: Okay, I give up! Arrest me!
SUPERMAN: Human beings are arrested. Dogs are put down!

 

[The Navigator]

"Hi folks, Lex Luthor here. I'm often unfairly represented in Superman mythology as a psychotic megalomaniac, with schemes to rule the world and kill billions of people. I mean, sure, I've had a few real estate deals go south and I lose my temper from time to time, but wouldn't you if you had these geeks follow you around 24/7?"

"Professor, Magneto's destroyed the X-Mansion!"

"I mean they watch me play Racquetball for God's sake. How do they not get it?"

 

[The Navigator]

"Well, good news, Superman, we've got your reboot franchise on track. We're going to take a few different approaches with each film. The first one's going to be Superma: Red Son, an alternate history where you land in Soviet Russia and change the course of the world and the heroes in it. It also portrays you in a different light, as still having your essential Superman values, but taking a more proactive approach, sometimes forcing opposing forces to see your way. The next film's going to be based on the story "Whatever Hapened to the Man of Tomorrow," a classic tale by Alan Moore. It's a much different story than comic book movies usually have, and it contains a lot of villains that haven't been seen onscreen yet, like Brainiac, Bizarro, the Parasite. We've also toyed with The Death of Superman storyline, since it has a lot of action and your fans have been pretty deprived of that, or the critically acclaimed All Star Superman series, but that one's still up in the air."

"Well, gee, that...that sounds really great, Mr. Nolan. Sounds like the shot in the arm my franchise needs!"

"Oh, I'm just kidding Superman, we're goin to retell the origin story, use Zod as the bad guy, maybe throw in a lot of classic nods to the Donner franchise, never be afraid to revisit a classic!"

 

[Panthro]

Nav, UF, you both get a big: for those captions.

 

[kedrell]

Superman: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!!!"

 

[The Navigator]

"Steve Holt!"

 

[GreenKToo]

Damn that Lex and his forty cakes!!

 

[ultimatefan]

Great stuff guys!

But now Snyder said in an interview that the reboot in fact will have no connection to the previous movies.

 

[ultimatefan]

See, I represent truth, justice, and the American way of life!

 

[kedrell]

Hehehehe, BTW what's with the 40 cakes thing? Is that some internet meme that I just happened to miss?

 

[GreenKToo]

Lol, yes. check it out.

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lex-luthor-took-forty-cakes

 

[Panthro]

Oh that Lex and his 40 cakes...

BLONSKY: "I've done far worse than kill you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on... hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left her, marooned for all eternity at the center of a dead planet. Buried alive... buried alive..."

SUPERMAN: "Khan!"

 

[Panthro]

SUPERMAN: "Stella!"