The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[Daniel Thompson]

LOL . . . asking for a relationship is not taking a risk, it is giving her your heart on a platter; women do not like that; you are just giving her all the power; save some leverage for yourself; make her WORK for it . . . it's a ****ed up part of life, but people don't want the things that come too easily to them

go for the FWB thing first, then make her WANT the relationship with you if it's what you really want . . . but get to know her and at least find out if the sex is good first JEEZ!

ps, are you a virgin? hope that's not too personal a question, but answer if it is feel free not to answer . . .

Ok your right the friends with benefits I will try first. And no I'm not a virgin.

 

[DV8]

Ok your right the friends with benefits I will try first. And no I'm not a virgin.

ok GOOD . . . you didn't spill all your feelings to her already, did you? Lol

 

[Anubis]

 

[Daniel Thompson]

ok GOOD . . . you didn't spill all your feelings to her already, did you? Lol

**** no, I never had no mushy mushy talk with her. Never''oh I think I can be best boyfriend you ever had, i will treat you right''....no I did notd o that, we just have normal phone convos.

Look I personally right now think she a cool person, and my friend told me she not even looking to date right now she enjoying the single life, just like meeting new people and hanging out with them and having a good time. So I mean I look at it like this, she not disinterested in me cause im ugly, just cause she enjoying the single life, and I can respect that.

If she did not like me as a friend she would of never told me to call her, she would of never said congrats on getting a job. Plus she said that I can call her anytime I like. Her exact words were'' feel free to call me at anytime''. I mean she a cool person, I do not think she an attention ****e, if she was she would of been all over the dudes at school and she was not.

 

[DV8]

**** no, I never had no mushy mushy talk with her. Never''oh I think I can be best boyfriend you ever had, i will treat you right''....no I did notd o that, we just have normal phone convos.

Look I personally right now think she a cool person, and my friend told me she not even looking to date right now she enjoying the single life, just like meeting new people and hanging out with them and having a good time. So I mean I look at it like this, she not disinterested in me cause im ugly, just cause she enjoying the single life, and I can respect that.

If she did not like me as a friend she would of never told me to call her, she would of never said congrats on getting a job. Plus she said that I can call her anytime I like. Her exact words were'' feel free to call me at anytime''. I mean she a cool person, I do not think she an attention ****e, if she was she would of been all over the dudes at school and she was not.

dude, ALL chicks are attention ****es . . . they love it when dudes pine over them, grace them with compliments, gifts, all that ****; but that doesn't make them like you . . . that's why I said you have to challenge her a little; I didn't mean to make it sound like she didn't genuinely like your convo, but don't get stuck in the friend zone . . . go for the kill (FWB) by establishing a physical relationship with her . . . then make HER want the relationship

 

[Daniel Thompson]

dude, ALL chicks are attention ****es . . . they love it when dudes pine over them, grace them with compliments, gifts, all that ****; but that doesn't make them like you . . . that's why I said you have to challenge her a little; I didn't mean to make it sound like she didn't genuinely like your convo, but don't get stuck in the friend zone . . . go for the kill (FWB) by establishing a physical relationship with her . . . then make HER want the relationship

Well I rather go with the FWB thing. Cause if relationship do not work out then it be awkward to remain friends, most couples dont remain friends after a break up. But FBW you still friends with her, plus the casual sex.

And since it seems she wants to hang out with me and ****, how should I establish the friends with benefits thing? What steps should I take?

 

[Lily Adler]

possibly; but that's what YOU think

I guarantee you that they don't find me attractive in the least.

 

[DV8]

Well I rather go with the FWB thing. Cause if relationship do not work out then it be awkward to remain friends, most couples dont remain friends after a break up. But FBW you still friends with her, plus the casual sex.

And since it seems she wants to hang out with me and ****, how should I establish the friends with benefits thing? What steps should I take?

The key to this is going to b getting cool with her, but not getting in the friend zone...to do this, u should do a lot of flirting...and establish physical contact with her immediately...this will assert for your interest in her sexually...but don't spend too much time "cupcaking" with her...I.e. getting all lovey dovey...tell her u like spending time w her but u value for your dependence; being single

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Is it wrong to tell a girl that you think she's beautiful, and constantly compliment her and flirt with her, if you aren't really attracted to her, but there's virtually no chance of being put into a position of having to "reject" her and crushing her ego?

 

[BrollySupersj]

Is it wrong to tell a girl that you think she's beautiful, and constantly compliment her and flirt with her, if you aren't really attracted to her, but there's virtually no chance of being put into a position of having to "reject" her and crushing her ego?

If there is no chance of that, of course not. But I wouldn't spam the compliments and flirting. Because you never can be too sure, one day she might come out with it and put you in that position.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

 

[BrollySupersj]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

Well I don't think so. It's part of the job you have, nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't find it as a deal breaker or anything of the sort.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Well I don't think so. It's part of the job you have, nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't find it as a deal breaker or anything of the sort.

Well we're talking about how it looks to blokes who don't know it's because of my job.

Like I'm just seen as this girl who's chatting and laughing and having drinks bought for her by old men.

 

[AVEITWITHJAMON]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

I wouldnt see it as a turn off at all. If anything it shows you are a nice, open person who people appreciate being friends with if these older guys are buying you drinks.

 

[DV8]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

yup, I do kinda feel like that could hurt your rep; of course you want to be friendly, but it impacts your social status talking to old dudes, and might also give younger guys the impression that you're just into older dudes

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Ok this the chick I told you gys about had told me to call her this afternoon when I was on break at work and so I did. We talked for awhile until both our breaks ended and were going to go hang out next saturday just the both of us. By the way she was talking she seemed disappointed that I had not talked to her in awhile on the phone.

Her exact words were..''you do not call me no more so hard for us to chill, but please feel free to hit my phone up anytime''. Now I think that maybe she might be interested in me, maybe not who knows. Ima see were this goes, but if she just wanna be friends hey I can dig it. So this means even if she proably not interested in me, she still wants to talk to me and hang out.

What do you guys think? You think she just telling my friends stuff so they could not be in our buisness? Or she might just see me as a friend to have fun with?

I would not have talked to her for any length of time, that looks again like you are trying to cozy up to her.

Get her to come to you, using the least amount of verbalization, try texting, and keep your texts shorter than hers, wait a bit between responses. There are very good reasons for being aloof. You did good on not getting in touch with her for a while, but try to end the phone calls before she does, on your terms.

When she comes to your place, start putting the physical moves on her, be brash and bold.

You may strike out, because you may have dug yourself in as a friend too far in her case, if so no worries, you just strike out.

If she stops you and says "I'm not looking for a relationship", being that is what she previously thought you wanted, then you reply "thanks for the offer but I'd prefer to stay unattached too".

There is no dignity walking around as a girls eunuch friend zone captive.
There is honor in getting slapped in the face and told you’re an ***hole, and having a woman storm out angry at you for having been too bold.

 

[steintym]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

It probably isn't a put off, but it might limiting your opportunities. How much time are you hanging with the older guys? If you're chatting with them most of the evening, other guys just might not approach you.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

@ Daniel Thompson:

It sounds like she's interested in you. Hang out, chill, talk to her. See if you like her back. If you enjoy her company, don't hesitate to ask her out for a real date. But by no means should you start cozying up.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

On the topic of friends, more specifically being friend zoned. Enjoy this image I found a while back. I aim to make portable copies of it, and the next time I am friend zoned, I'll give the girl this image and tell her to reconsider.

You shouldn't have to give a girl this image and you'll just piss her off if you did. Most guys end up in the friendzone because they didn't act soon enough, they didn't break the physical barrier soon enough, acted like they wanted to be friends, not boyfriends. In terms of the work analogy, they talk to the employer about the job, but never submit thier resume or application.

Ok this the chick I told you gys about had told me to call her this afternoon when I was on break at work and so I did. We talked for awhile until both our breaks ended and were going to go hang out next saturday just the both of us. By the way she was talking she seemed disappointed that I had not talked to her in awhile on the phone.

Her exact words were..''you do not call me no more so hard for us to chill, but please feel free to hit my phone up anytime''. Now I think that maybe she might be interested in me, maybe not who knows. Ima see were this goes, but if she just wanna be friends hey I can dig it. So this means even if she proably not interested in me, she still wants to talk to me and hang out.

What do you guys think? You think she just telling my friends stuff so they could not be in our buisness? Or she might just see me as a friend to have fun with?

The bolded parts are the key elements, you're hanging out, not going out, it's a small word difference but the meaning is significant, this girl does not see you as a romantic interest at all, she sees you as a friend. Friends "hang out", friends "chill", romantic interests go out with each other. Also, put friends with benefits out of your mind, you will not be able to turn off your emotions and have meaningless sex with this girl, which is the only way friends with benefits work. If you touch her boobs one night, I'd bet you'd be skipping through the entire next day and call her 4-5 times asking when's the next time you could see her. You are BrollySupersj's picture.

 

[bullets]

Was out with a few friends last night, and one of them suggested that one of the reasons I might be single is that I talk to older men a lot when I'm out.

That might sound weird, but I work as a barmaid in a pub frequented by a lot of men in their 40-60s and so when I see them out, I stop and say hello and talk to them.

Do you think that's a put off?

Men might assume the worst about that or think your just talking to your dads friends. I think it really depends on much time you spend talking to them. If your friend sees it as a potential issue then I'd assume you do it too much.

 

[Boy Scout]

TBS, I gotta say, as a guy who actually has an achilles heel, my weak point is talking too much. I've got a big ego, and I love to talk.

So, what did I learn to do that helped me more than anything else?

I learned to keep my mouth shut, pause before answering, and say a whole let less, sometimes nothing.

Trying to talk to a girl more just seems like you are trying to cozy up to her more as a friend, which is a great way to end up in the friend zone.

Verbally, often with women, less is more. So talk less, and express more with body language. Google "alpha male body language", there is a good place to start. You're an ACTOR, that should be easy for you to pick up, and is really one of the best ways to communicate without using your mouth.

That's some solid adivce. I do plan to let her do a lot of the talking, but at the same time, I do want it to be an egaging conversation, which would certainly require me to do a lot of talking as well.

Why haven't you asked her out?

Because I'm a weenie. No sense in suger coating it; it's the truth.

But the other day, after talking to my best friend, I just said **** it and put all my cards on the table. And I was quite happy with the results. But I still have a long way to go. But I'm not going to let nervousness get in the way any more. I've come way too far to turn back now.

And since I'm prretty sure I would have lost her if I had been just a day later...I really need to step up my game.

EDIT: And I am. It bothers me that most of our conversations have been through text, so I'm making a sincere effort to talk to her in person more - both inside and outside or classroom. I plan on chatting with her by her locker in the mornings and wishing her a good day in the evenings when school is over. I won't smother her, but I will talk to her. But she's ssurrounded by her friends a lot, so I'm thinking of just asking her to go out one of these days, just the two of us.

Do not ask her to hang out, ask her to go out, it's a very small difference in language, but friends hang out, possible romantic partners go out. This needs to happen soon, it actually should have already happened. Most "friend-zoning" is due to the guy waiting too long to ask the girl out. Let the friendship grow out of a relationship, it's so much more difficult to let a relationship grow out of a friendship.

Absolutely.

 

[DV8]

That's some solid adivce. I do plan to let her do a lot of the talking, but at the same time, I do want it to be an egaging conversation, which would certainly require me to do a lot of talking as well.

you'd be surprised how little talking you actually have to do; the more you talk, the more you turn into a "friend" . . . the important thing is to let her do the talking for now . . . once you bone her, you can talk all you want

 

[Lily Adler]

So I was visiting my office today and one of the lawyers asked me out for a drink. He's in his late 30s he's been divorced. Now when he means drink he means during a lunch break. Should I go?

 

[DV8]

So I was visiting my office today and one of the lawyers asked me out for a drink. He's in his late 30s he's been divorced. Now when he means drink he means during a lunch break. Should I go?

sure, why not? it's just a drink . . . how old are you? is there some kind of conflict of interest there with your job, for you having a drink?

 

[Lily Adler]

I'm 24 and there's no conflict as far as I can see. I'll give it a shot, he's actually really cute.