The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[Nave 'Torment']

So is the consensus still that relationships are groomed and doomed by purely sexual markers? Just wanted to make sure where we all stand on that.

 

[Hound55]

LuLz

Some people think they got problems when girls accuse them of "being the cheating type".

Imagine how it looks when you are getting vagina picture text messages from another girl, and explicit offers for sexual favors...

I've had to deal with that sort of thing. They key is knowing how to handle the situation and keep cool.

Don't get ********, don't get angry, don't get bothered. You laugh it off as if the accusation itself is silly, the more brush her complaint off like a total *****ebag, the better.

"Ohh, haha, she's just a FWB from a while before I met you, and shes just trying a booty call".

I don't think I could muster up that level of *****ebaggery... (*****ebaggadoccio..? *****bagocity..? *****ebaggedness..?)

That sounds like something you could put on your resume as a "Special Skill" or something...

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

So Bum blew a gasket, huh?

I still can't tell if he was just ranting and raving at himself or if someone made some smart arsed comment and got banned and all their posts deleted. Either could be true.

Well, y'know, fug it, what else am I gonna do but rabble into the earhole of my 80plus year old mother, haha.
Anyway, aye, I am pretty sure my so-called-girlfriend accepted a piece of jewellerry from a guy who fancies her, and I am the one who has been accused of being a potential cheat.
and, 'y'know what, the only times i spanked to the thought of another woman was when I thought the relationship was dead and she had decided to leave me.
So, y'know, it's something you do to try and get over her.
So last night I couldn't get to sleep and spanked my brains out 3 times to my ex, who apparently wants to get back together with me, but there is just as much chance she doesn't, to be honest, I just don't want to go through all this bs again, I need to be on my own.

It's like, why listen to a gf who talks about another guy all the time? Even if she is just doing it to test me and wind me up? And if she accepted that gift off him? Why the **** should i put up with that? I've never once went on about another woman, gimme a break.
Sure, I have fancied a couple during our relationship, but i never wanted to leave her, and I never encouraged these women to come onto me.

anyway, y'know what....there are a lot of people who take the piss and say 'ahaha, you are gonna be lonely and just be a drunk and weed smoker...ahahaha'....well, the thing is, these people may have steady jobs, families, and look down on that way of living, but tbh, i love it, I love whacking on music and drinking vodka in the shower first thing in the morning, lighting up a pipe of weed and heading out into the city, I did that for about 15 years and I never had as big a ****ing headache as i do in these ****ing relationships.
I wouldn't do that if I was in a relationship, sure, i'd smoke weed, goes without saying, but fug it, if I don't have to worry about upsetting anyone else I'll just live the life of a ****ing crazy waster, it's actually really enjoyable.

So, that's that, no more penis for me. I'm gonna have it mounted in an empty bottle of vodka like those model ships.

 

[AndThePickles]

If your girlfriend is purposely talking about another guy to piss you off, I'd say she's not worth dating. Games like that are so childish!

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Well, so did my ex before that, haha, they do it to test you, but, if she took jewelery off him, fug that, it means she's prepared to go about wearing something 24/7 he gave her, because he is courting her? fug that noise, if I did something like that she would have crushed my nuts in a vice.
I honestly just want to be by myself, I am a frickin mess and I have an important job to do, this is the second night this week i have been awake until after 7am, and then only had an hour of two of sleep after that, i am spaced out and ****ed, I knew this would happen to my health and my sleep, it's inevitable, and I need my frickin sleep.

this is just gonna go on and on and on, I am gonna lose sleep and nothing is gonna get done, I have to be on my own and stop listening to all this relationship junk. It's like I have a not-so-merry go round carnival of bs swirling round my head 24/7, and it runs through my head at night, and I am also charged up from being in love, it's nuts, i'm ****ed, my body and mind are completely ****ed with all this sh**.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Dude, get over it. Its a F***ing watch. This other dude who gave it to her is an Ass kisser. Never worry about some Beta male sucking up to her. Its ego inflation for her, that is it.

If there is a guy at her work she is always talking about who she holds some hate for and talks about all the time, THAT guy is a bigger concern. Your fear based behavior of a pathetic little Beta orbiter is a self fufilling prophecy.

Suck it up and move on with your life now that you have dumped your girl for wearing a watch. The longer you hold either anger or fear you continue to be ThebumwhoHurt.

 

[Erzengel]

Or why don't you just start dating someone else and ignore all the games she's obviously succeeding in doing.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Because...I can't just go into another relationship just like that, it would not feel right, I experimented with the thought last night and this morning, and I don't think i can do it.
Sometimes a person needs to be on their own, I still love my so-called-girlfriend, and have to try and get over her, I don't think it's a good idea to try and use someone else to get over her.
Other people might feel it's ok to do that, but it doesn't feel right to me, I feel like i'm bs-ing myself, and for all my faults...I think I am always true to myself, I can only fool myself for so long.
I need to be by myself for now, this carnival of never ending mind mush bs has to stop going through my head, I need to get back to doing my job properly, and that is preventing it.

there are too many other people involved in this relationship, too many oars sticking in to **** it up, no privacy, no respect shown to the relationship by other people. It is a mess because other people are making it as difficult as possible.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

OR y'know what? You could friggin tell her that to her face. What the deal is, and drive the point home that what she did really IS cheating, at least the way you feel about it.

Tell her to be honest for once. To herself and to you. After you get your answer. Move on. You deserve to be with a gal who cares for you as much as you care for her.

 

[Erzengel]

Dating. Not marrying. You don't need to commit yourself to anyone right now. But that doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Nah, I would never advice you to just jump on the board and get involved again. Not after the human faux pas that this episode caused you. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE IN A DAMN RELATIONSHIP TO BE HAPPY - you can only continue into one if you've met the right person and you feel strongly about her. Not because you need to be in a damned relationship. That's b.s.

 

[Erzengel]

Um......again, you don't need to be in a committed relationship to go out and date.

Dating doesn't necessarily always equal being in a committed relationship.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

What Erzengel said, but do note that right now you're likely to still be harbouring emotions from the past. It's essential that you clean whatever it is up before you continue. For yourself. On an emotional level.

If you feel like you're ready to date again this soon, then go right ahead. But be who you are first. That's more important than anything else. Even your daily routine and new self-deprivations.

I'd know. I'm on them.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Just for the record: would a personally-written e-card with funny pics of Her and a limerick surrounding her be inappropite (even if ******ed in this day and age) to give for Her birthday even though I made sure it doesn't have any romantic notions in it? Would it still be conceived that way? Because... I THINK ... really, truly, very very very very very much THINK I'm not going to ask her out on a date. Like ever. For my sake. Well?

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Any suggestions on how to handle being apart from your significant other for an extended period of time. My wife and I have never taken trips apart or anything in the 8 1/2 years we've been married. She has an upcoming business trip (leaves Saturday) in which she will be out of the country for more than half a month. Which leaves me to handle all the daily activities of the house and kids on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I can handle it. I just think it will be pretty stressful. I have a 4, 7 and 8 year old and the thought of doing EVERYTHING on my own is starting to stress me out. Then there's the sex. I can't remember the last time I've gone more than 4 days at a time without it. I'm freakin out!

 

[Erzengel]

Why do you need to send her an e-card? It just seems you are putting an awful lot of thought into her birthday or even her in general. Send her a text or send happy birthday on her facebook page.

 

[Erzengel]

Any suggestions on how to handle being apart from your significant other for an extended period of time. My wife and I have never taken trips apart or anything in the 8 1/2 years we've been married. She has an upcoming business trip (leaves Saturday) in which she will be out of the country for more than half a month. Which leaves me to handle all the daily activities of the house and kids on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I can handle it. I just think it will be pretty stressful. I have a 4, 7 and 8 year old and the thought of doing EVERYTHING on my own is starting to stress me out. Then there's the sex. I can't remember the last time I've gone more than 4 days at a time without it. I'm freakin out!

Phone or video conference sex?

The thing is even though you've only gone 4 days at a time. Remember she's not in the picture SO, maybe it'd be easier to get through the few weeks. Just keep yourself occupied with other activities and just imagine how great the sex will be when she comes back.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

I send a lot of people e-cards :|

Text feels insulting, at least a phone-call is worth it. And I FB only those who are y'know, not near enough to call.

Regardless of that, my question is would an e-card seem too much? :S Just want to know where I'm standing.

 

[Nave 'Torment']

Any suggestions on how to handle being apart from your significant other for an extended period of time. My wife and I have never taken trips apart or anything in the 8 1/2 years we've been married. She has an upcoming business trip (leaves Saturday) in which she will be out of the country for more than half a month. Which leaves me to handle all the daily activities of the house and kids on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I can handle it. I just think it will be pretty stressful. I have a 4, 7 and 8 year old and the thought of doing EVERYTHING on my own is starting to stress me out. Then there's the sex. I can't remember the last time I've gone more than 4 days at a time without it. I'm freakin out!

You can always use Skype and stay in touch with her every day. And this sounds like a good time to give the kids some one-on-one with dad. Even 4 year-olds need attention. As for the sex... well... I'll let someone else answer that one.

 

[Erzengel]

Has this girl DONE anything to warrant your friendship or gone out of her way to do anything for you outside of talking to you or returning phone calls?

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Dude, get over it. Its a F***ing watch. This other dude who gave it to her is an Ass kisser. Never worry about some Beta male sucking up to her. Its ego inflation for her, that is it.

It's not just a watch, it's him offering a token of his 'love', and her accepting it. It's not like he sent her comics or a book, which i would not have minded, it's a smart ass way of putting a ring on her, and she is smart enough to know that.
After all the things I have been accused of and put through the wringer for by her, *and* this guy, it just makes me angry, because I have done everything to prove to her that I would always stand by her and never leave her, and then she does this? and it's no big deal?
When we got together she didn't want me to hang onto any memories or mementos of my previous relationship, i had all this artwork I had done for my ex, and I ripped it all up! To prove to her I was with her now! even though she did not say it to me, that is what she wanted me to do, destroy such mementos.

I just feel like a chump for being accused of being a potential cheater and that I would leave her, when it was never a concept I thought I would ever be guilty of, and did my best to prove that.
*She should not accepted that kind of gift*, he was giving her a ring in all but name, and she accepted it. If I had done anything like that, forget it, the world would be tumbling down, him, her and all her friends would be accusing me of being a cheating bastard. They are all a bunch of hypocrites.
But, of course, it is different if she does it right? No, it isn't.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Phone or video conference sex?

The thing is even though you've only gone 4 days at a time. Remember she's not in the picture SO, maybe it'd be easier to get through the few weeks. Just keep yourself occupied with other activities and just imagine how great the sex will be when she comes back.

We are planning to skype. But I think she will be a little apprehensive to sex over the internet. I might have to get to know my hand again! LOL!

You can always use Skype and stay in touch with her every day. And this sounds like a good time to give the kids some one-on-one with dad. Even 4 year-olds need attention. As for the sex... well... I'll let someone else answer that one.

We are planning to skype with the kids everyday. They will miss Mommy. I spend a lot of quality time with my kids. I'm a very involved Dad. However, I'm not used to taking care of EVERYTHING on my own. It's gonna be a challenge. Plus, she has to go away 3 more times this year like this. OH BOY!

 

[Nave 'Torment']

She has actually, and it screams "let's be best friends forever". I think she's smart enough to have figured it out that I obviously am attracted to her and do have feelings (ill-founded they may be) but that hasn't stopped her from being nice and friendly. Most recently when my mom fell ill she gathered all our friends, without my asking, and paid her a visit. SO yeah, that should amount to a level of friendship.

My question is, by sending her a personalised e-card (ala JigJag, only I made it coz I'm cheap) does it suggest anything funny to her? Because I don't want her to feel that way if she isn't willing. THe only reason I'm not putting this out directly in the open is because she seems too polite to just let it go. And I don't want to be the one to suggest that it's silently lingering on.

I ****ing hate silence.

 

[Erzengel]

It's not just a watch, it's him offering a token of his 'love', and her accepting it. It's not like he sent her comics or a book, it's a smart ass way of putting a ring on her, and she is smart enough to know that.
After all the things I have been accused of and put through the wringer for by her, *and* this guy, it just makes me angry, because I have done everything to prove to her that I would always stand by her and never leave her, and then she does this? and it's no big deal?
When we got together she didn't want me to hang onto any memories or mementos of my previous relationship, i had all this artwork I had done for my ex, and I ripped it all up! To prove to her I was with her now! even though she did not say it to me, that is what she wanted me to do, destroy such mementos.
I just feel like a chump for being accused of being a potential cheater and that I would leave her, when it was never a concept I thought I would ever be guilty of, and did my best to prove that, now this happened.
She should not accepted that kind of gift, he was giving her a ring in all but name, and she accepted it. If I had done anything like that, forget it, the world would be tumbling down, him, her and all her friends would be accusing me of being a cheating bastard. They are all a bunch of hypocrites.
But, of course, it is different if she does it right? No, it isn't.

How long were you with this girl? How long ago have you been broken up and where in all that did someone giver her that watch?

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Any suggestions on how to handle being apart from your significant other for an extended period of time. My wife and I have never taken trips apart or anything in the 8 1/2 years we've been married. She has an upcoming business trip (leaves Saturday) in which she will be out of the country for more than half a month. Which leaves me to handle all the daily activities of the house and kids on my own.

Don't get me wrong, I can handle it. I just think it will be pretty stressful. I have a 4, 7 and 8 year old and the thought of doing EVERYTHING on my own is starting to stress me out. Then there's the sex. I can't remember the last time I've gone more than 4 days at a time without it. I'm freakin out!

I'm going to suggest the opposite of what a lot of the guys will tell you.

I suggest you NOT try to get a hold of her as much as she does you. Fail to return a couple of her calls, on purpose.

No matter how hard things get with taking care of the kids on your own, don't let her know.

Make it look like when she cantacts you, that you are happy to hear from her, but seem like you hardly miss her. Or at least let her say "I miiiiiss youuuu", first. Then pause for a second before you reply, and slowly say "yeah, alright....well.... I sorta miss youuuu tooooo". If you have the right inflection she will giggle. Same goes for "I love you", make her have to pry it out of you, don't volunteer it easily.

Now if she askes why you didn't call her back, if you missed a call, you say "huh? ohh sorry I guess, no worries, just had my hands full".

The more mysterious whatever is going on at home is, the more it keeps her craving for you, and keeps you on her mind.

So that is my advice. Don't go out of your way to stay in touch. Confessing needing her makes you just that, needy. Needy is the killer of female attraction.