The Temple of Doomed Relationships

[Thebumwhowalks]

In that case I'm turning my back on that one.

Sensible...

Aw, that last pic was a good one, I was much more likely to go gay for that one, haha.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Aw, that last pic was a good one, I was much more likely to go gay for that one, haha.

Well now I don't feel safe turning my back on you either.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

haha, thebumwhostalks.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

SuperMike's back looks scary!

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I got a doomed relationship story.

This happened...like the first week of November. I have a female friend, known her for a few years, we're very close. She looks out for me when it comes to woman, since I've had bad luck, and have been burned BADLY in the past. So one day she sends me a text, saying one of her friends is like depressed and just looking for someone to have sex with. My friend decided to pin us together since we were two people who just needed to be laid. I actually know this girl from high school, I didn't get to know her all that well, but I did remember her. I always thought she was cute, so needless to say I was down for the whole thing. After a few days of texting and getting reacquainted, we had a video chat on Yahoo IM. It got...pretty intimate, if you know what I mean. After that I really started to like her genuinely, not as just some **** buddy. She confined to having the same feelings for me as well. Not long after our lovely video chat, we arranged a hang out at her place, to just watch movies and fool around. Well when that day came, we had sex, didn't take long either, probably 20 minutes before things got heated. I tell ya, it was just one of the greatest moments of my life so far. This girl was just....absolutely lovely. I was really starting to like her immensely. This is where it at falls down hill...

Two days after our little get together, she starts....going back to normal. She doesn't act like the way she did before, it was like our time together didn't happen. Then she says she wants to wait to have sex again, which just left me so confused. Before she had no reservations, she was ready and willing, no doubts about it. Well after some time pressing her for a real reason why she's changed, it turns out that her previous boyfriend (someone she was with for a few years, and broke up with her 6 months before I came along) really really messed her up emotionally. She said she was afraid of getting involved and hurt again, after so much investment in her previous relationship. So then I decided to just call it off for good. I haven't spoken to her since then....really sucked. I liked her a lot, but I guess she was just wasn't ready for a new relationship. Oh well...

The bolded part is all you needed to know, she was just looking for some fun, a friend with benefits, not a relationship. You trying for a relationship probably scared her off.

 

[Anita18]

Meh, what the hell, here we go:

Spoiler

14

3 boyfriends
4 **** buddies
3 friends I hooked up with once
4 one night stands

And on that list, there's only one person whose name I can't remember

So is that too many?

The number seems "high" on first glance, but once you explain the breakdown, it doesn't seem that bad, even to a prude like me.

Well I try to. I can only see him every other weekend. I do try to call him once a week, and see how he's doing. I really can't ask too many things about her, because he's been instructed not to divulge any information about her to me. She's afraid that I'm trying to spy on her through him, so I've learned to just ask about his school life, and his friends and nothing else. He also knows he has an open door with me and if something is bothering him, he can always talk to me. Right now, that's the best I can do.

The most important thing is that he knows you're there when he needs you.

 

[AndThePickles]

The bolded part is all you needed to know, she was just looking for some fun, a friend with benefits, not a relationship. You trying for a relationship probably scared her off.

Exactly. Never go into something where you have blatantly been told what someone is looking for and think that you can change them.

 

[Anita18]

Ah, there is some talk here about a woman’s number of sexual partners.

This gives me room to segue into another nuclear blast that may start a ton of arguments here.

I can only think of two reasons why a girls number is relevant, based on the trend (but not absolute). Offhand I suspect these risks are in the realm of 20-25% greater but admittedly there are not any good ways to test this I can think of. So we don’t know how relevant these risks are, but none the less:

1. Women who have been with a lot of men can have a difficult time being monogamous, and she is more likely to go back to old habits and cheat.
2. She is more likely to leave the relationship, because she knows how easy it is to get a new guy.

I don’t list STD risk, as it can be hard to tell how many guys a girl has been with early on, and since I sleep with women very early on, I take that risk. The other reason is that even if she has been with only one guy with a history like mine... well lets just say her low number just became irrelevant to the STD risk.

Anyway, that is WHY the traditional "game" community advice is to aim for women who are "virgins", or at least have very low numbers, and to keep those girls for relationships, and to use the girls with high numbers as "pump and dump" material.

What can happen in reality however, is that a guy can get stuck with a Prude. I found out the hard way, that if you marry a prude, the reason she was a virgin when you meet her, could just be someone with a low sex drive (which is a very bad thing in my book) and she may even be self-righteous with that I’m holier than thou attitude.

The other side of that reality, is in spite of those above two risks being greater with a girl who has had a higher number of sexual partners, she also may have a much higher sex drive. Due to her experience will likely have some skill herself, as well as a real appreciation for a guy who knows what he is doing as she has a basis for comparison as to what good sex is.

Another reason is, there is not enough data to show me the degree of how much greater of a risk those two risks are with the higher numbers woman. Is the more promiscuous woman 20-25% more likely to cheat or leave? If that is the case I will take those odds.

Id rather have 5 good years with a woman filled with great sex, only to end in painful breakup due to cheating or leaving, than be stuck with the same girl my whole life who is a prude in bed but has less risk of cheating or leaving.

Yeah it depends on a lot of things, but even women who've had multiple partners can have a lot of hangups about sex. They don't enjoy it much, they just do it because it's expected of them. My ex-bf tried to date one of them shortly after breaking up with me (obviously not having had sex with me), and found out the hard way after investing a lot in the relationship. She led him into thinking she could show him a good time but when it came down to doing the deed, nope. That's a sad way to approach sex, but it's certainly not something insurmountable.

So obviously numbers by themselves don't mean anything. As with all things, you have to take the girl's personality into account.

Also, why does the traditional "game" community aim for inexperienced women for relationships? Doesn't "relationship" imply you're going to be having sex with them more than once? Wouldn't you want that to be good? I mean, if you pump and dump an inexperienced woman and she's bad in bed, who cares? It's only going to be once, right? Otherwise you're going to have to take the time to talk her through things and I don't picture a guy like you wanting to give instructions during sex.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Yeah it depends on a lot of things, but even women who've had multiple partners can have a lot of hangups about sex. They don't enjoy it much, they just do it because it's expected of them. My ex-bf tried to date one of them shortly after breaking up with me (obviously not having had sex with me), and found out the hard way after investing a lot in the relationship. She led him into thinking she could show him a good time but when it came down to doing the deed, nope. That's a sad way to approach sex, but it's certainly not something insurmountable.

So obviously numbers by themselves don't mean anything. As with all things, you have to take the girl's personality into account.

Also, why does the traditional "game" community aim for inexperienced women for relationships? Doesn't "relationship" imply you're going to be having sex with them more than once? Wouldn't you want that to be good? I mean, if you pump and dump an inexperienced woman and she's bad in bed, who cares? It's only going to be once, right? Otherwise you're going to have to take the time to talk her through things and I don't picture a guy like you wanting to give instructions during sex.

I’m glad you asked.

I will use this as another Segue.

I do give instructions during sex, actually. Weather it be physically just moving her how I want her, or verbal. In fact more men could do better to give more instructions in bed, they just need to break out the sexy deep man voice and be in charge about it. If done right talking dirty can be a lot of fun.

When I am single and actively dating, there is no being led on for me. I lead, and I also get sex out of the way early. I have seen no real evidence that relationships in which sex happens later on are any better than ones where it happens right away, so me having sex with a girl, even on a first date, does not in any way ruin her chances with me for a relationship potential later on.

I push for sex right away, as in before going out on a date whenever possible. Girl meets me at my house, I say "there is no hurry" I plant lips, start making out, proceed to sex on couch. It’s the craziest sounding thing ever, I know, but it ****ing works, almost every time. I think boldness for sex is a major turn on for many women, as most men are afraid they will be rejected if they try it.

I don’t date for the purpose of having dinners, or movies, or long walks, or for swimming, or whirl pool, or any of the things people do on dates. Yes I do those things but my intentions have been and always were, yep, getting sex.

So I take the girl out and do those things, AFTER having sex with her. I don’t just kick a girl out after pounding her either. I take her out on a date, and the cool thing is all the tension is broken and there is a strong physical comfort already there, and I am more relaxed as I’m not walking around with the testosterone level of a Rhino anymore.

So how do I even end up in relationships at all? When a girl impresses me. By that I don’t only mean with sex, but other signs of devotion. The way she makes me feel about myself. How well she treats me. Does she offer to do favors for me like keeping my house clean? Do I enjoy spending time with her? Can I be happy in just cuddling up to a movie in love seat with her sleeping comfortably on my chest? Are we compatible? Does she smoke (I don’t), Does she drink (I only do rarely) etc...If all of that stuff is right then I would be a fool to toss away a good thing.

If she impresses me in these regards, only then do I become exclusive with her.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I'm definitely a dirty talker. I almost always open with "take that f***ing sh** off". I like to push them backwards onto my bed to. Anything to make it just a little rough. Big fan of pulling hair too.

I guess I give instructions, or commands. I like to feel in charge in bed, but I definitely apprepriate if they make me fight for that position.

 

[Erzengel]

I believe in being polite and cordial.

Please and thank yous are always the correct manners to have.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Either way is fine. Dirty talk is great but sometimes making love is just fine too. I am married so don't judge me!

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I don’t date for the purpose of having dinners, or movies, or long walks, or for swimming, or whirl pool, or any of the things people do on dates. Yes I do those things but my intentions have been and always were, yep, getting sex.

So I take the girl out and do those things, AFTER having sex with her. I don’t just kick a girl out after pounding her either. I take her out on a date, and the cool thing is all the tension is broken and there is a strong physical comfort already there, and I am more relaxed as I’m not walking around with the testosterone level of a Rhino anymore.

That sounds like how you treat an escort, lol.

I can't say I'm completely different from you. I definitely go for the sex as early as I feel I can, but, the purpose of hanging out or dating for me is most definitely to get to know someone, not get laid. I actually know a lot of girls who reject my initial advances (in fact I'm more skeptical of those that do not) and some of them I'll stick it out for. I'll take sex before I know someone's name, I know met: but I also recognize that someone else might not feel that way.

Really in all honesty I feel like you have some perspective on women, but the perspective that's most important is self-perspective. I know for me personally most women who have slept with me, especially those who have repeatedly, were eventually able to break down my skepticism enough that I thought I liked them. Sex is very interesting in how it changes your opinion of someone. In fact I have a lot of friends who are very attractive, and I know I want to avoid sex with them because it would rock the boat too much. They're impressive women, all of them, but I realize how much sex could upset our relationships. Yup, you can friend zone a chick (and yeah, you can drive them nuts doing this too).

Sex, to me, is always an after thing. I might not spend money on girls flagrantly, but I do want to spend time with them. Like real, quality time. I personally cannot do that going to a restaurant or movie theater, but then I don't do those things regularly anyways.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

Either way is fine. Dirty talk is great but sometimes making love is just fine too. I am married so don't judge me!

Dirty talk is mostly fun for me. I'm certainly aware it's a turn off to some, but big deal, I like it! It's for me!

People shouldn't attempt what they're not comfortable with. I know people who blush at swear words and vulgar language, and for those people, they shouldn't try it. Play to your strengths.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Becky!?!?

Dear Lord!

Spoiler

At your age that works out to a whole whopping 2 new men every year!

Well I lost my virginity at 19, so it's a little bit more than that, but yeah, it's not that bad.

I think the point is, if you haven't had any long term relationships then you are obviously going to have a higher number... cause... well, Momma's got needs

Well, she never indicated if any of those were "team effort" or not....

Wouldn't you like to know

If you told me 14, I'd ask you if you wanted to make it 15

The number seems "high" on first glance, but once you explain the breakdown, it doesn't seem that bad, even to a prude like me.

Yeah, I mean if i'd had 14 one night stands with strangers i'd picked up in clubs, I think i'd be a little bit more uncomfortable with the number.

I’m glad you asked.

I will use this as another Segue.

I do give instructions during sex, actually. Weather it be physically just moving her how I want her, or verbal. In fact more men could do better to give more instructions in bed, they just need to break out the sexy deep man voice and be in charge about it. If done right talking dirty can be a lot of fun.

When I am single and actively dating, there is no being led on for me. I lead, and I also get sex out of the way early. I have seen no real evidence that relationships in which sex happens later on are any better than ones where it happens right away, so me having sex with a girl, even on a first date, does not in any way ruin her chances with me for a relationship potential later on.

I push for sex right away, as in before going out on a date whenever possible. Girl meets me at my house, I say "there is no hurry" I plant lips, start making out, proceed to sex on couch. It’s the craziest sounding thing ever, I know, but it ****ing works, almost every time. I think boldness for sex is a major turn on for many women, as most men are afraid they will be rejected if they try it.

I don’t date for the purpose of having dinners, or movies, or long walks, or for swimming, or whirl pool, or any of the things people do on dates. Yes I do those things but my intentions have been and always were, yep, getting sex.

So I take the girl out and do those things, AFTER having sex with her. I don’t just kick a girl out after pounding her either. I take her out on a date, and the cool thing is all the tension is broken and there is a strong physical comfort already there, and I am more relaxed as I’m not walking around with the testosterone level of a Rhino anymore.

So how do I even end up in relationships at all? When a girl impresses me. By that I don’t only mean with sex, but other signs of devotion. The way she makes me feel about myself. How well she treats me. Does she offer to do favors for me like keeping my house clean? Do I enjoy spending time with her? Can I be happy in just cuddling up to a movie in love seat with her sleeping comfortably on my chest? Are we compatible? Does she smoke (I don’t), Does she drink (I only do rarely) etc...If all of that stuff is right then I would be a fool to toss away a good thing.

If she impresses me in these regards, only then do I become exclusive with her.

I'm definitely a dirty talker. I almost always open with "take that f***ing sh** off". I like to push them backwards onto my bed to. Anything to make it just a little rough. Big fan of pulling hair too.

I guess I give instructions, or commands. I like to feel in charge in bed, but I definitely apprepriate if they make me fight for that position.

I wish men where more like you guys t:

Seriously though, only one man i've ever been with took charge... and it wasn't in a particularly good way!

It's just such a turn of for me to always have to take charge, always lead.

The only guy who was ever really like that with me was my first boyfriend... the one who turned out to be having affairs with guys...

 

[Anita18]

Exactly. Never go into something where you have blatantly been told what someone is looking for and think that you can change them.

Or, I mean, he could try. But it would likely be a fool's errand.

I’m glad you asked.

I will use this as another Segue.

So I take the girl out and do those things, AFTER having sex with her. I don’t just kick a girl out after pounding her either. I take her out on a date, and the cool thing is all the tension is broken and there is a strong physical comfort already there, and I am more relaxed as I’m not walking around with the testosterone level of a Rhino anymore.

So how do I even end up in relationships at all? When a girl impresses me. By that I don’t only mean with sex, but other signs of devotion. The way she makes me feel about myself. How well she treats me. Does she offer to do favors for me like keeping my house clean? Do I enjoy spending time with her? Can I be happy in just cuddling up to a movie in love seat with her sleeping comfortably on my chest? Are we compatible? Does she smoke (I don’t), Does she drink (I only do rarely) etc...If all of that stuff is right then I would be a fool to toss away a good thing.

If she impresses me in these regards, only then do I become exclusive with her.

Right, but that's you. What's the rationale for the "game" community as a whole to go after inexperienced women for relationships?

I'm definitely a dirty talker. I almost always open with "take that f***ing sh** off".

That would actually make me . But in generally it's a huge turn-on when a guy makes it audibly clear that he's having a good time. I wish my bf would do that more actually, he's too damn quiet!

 

[redhawk23]

The title of this thread reminds me of video valentine I made a for a friend of mine that spawned from a conversation we had once.

[YT]ybvAh9GhpA8[/YT]

Fun fact, we actually started dating a few months after I made this. We're still together which pleases me greatly.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

But in generally it's a huge turn-on when a guy makes it audibly clear that he's having a good time. I wish my bf would do that more actually, he's too damn quiet!

Agreed.

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

The title of this thread reminds me of video valentine I made a for a friend of mine that spawned from a conversation we had once.

[YT]ybvAh9GhpA8[/YT]

Fun fact, we actually started dating a few months after I made this. We're still together which pleases me greatly.

Aye, I remember you posted this exact video with the same story months ago.

 

[LOBO3315a]

Wouldn't you like to know

Actually, yes!

Wow, I just thought hair pulling and ass slapping was part of normal sex. I don't know any other way to do it.....

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

Wow, I just thought hair pulling and ass slapping was part of normal sex. I don't know any other way to do it.....

Well, you can do it with bald people as well.
and paraplegics.

 

[SuperMike335!!]

Or, I mean, he could try. But it would likely be a fool's errand.


Right, but that's you. What's the rationale for the "game" community as a whole to go after inexperienced women for relationships?


That would actually make me . But in generally it's a huge turn-on when a guy makes it audibly clear that he's having a good time. I wish my bf would do that more actually, he's too damn quiet!

Hmmm..

Oh, thought I covered that already. The general consensus is that girls who have less experience are less likely to cheat or leave.

Its one of the areas I personally break away from most game theory.

 

[steintym]

No time for dirty talk with me ladies. I just grunt and snort like some crazy beast.

Uh, arrrr, snort, uh, arrggggghhhh, snort

 

[Thebumwhowalks]

No time for dirty talk with me ladies. I just grunt and snort like some crazy beast.

Uh, arrrr, snort, uh, arrggggghhhh, snort

Why do you think Captain Caveman had such lovely female companions? That *is* dirty talk.

 

[Erzengel]

I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.