Advice and Relationships Again: A Hypester's Tale

[Anita18]

Been in the city for one week. Went out with my friend and some of the new people who she's met. None of which are straight arrows.

Got drunk, did some other naughty things, and then me and this guy ended up kissing. Actually kind of like him, he was nice and funny and was teasing me (always a plus ).

Trouble is, I'm supposed to be trying to find a guy who ISN'T in the world of getting wasted!

So my question is - how do non drunk, no drug oriented people meet each other?

How do I make friends without going to the pub and getting messed up with people?

I know it sounds ridiculous, but in my world, it's just how it's done.

Even my uni friends, who never touch any drugs, drink a ridiculous amount. And they all have respectable jobs and are lovely people. But they got the biggest bottle of soco possible and drank it between two of them... Before we went out... And then got on the jagerbombs.

I guess I just don't know how to meet people the 'normal' way, cause getting drunk/other things is the way I've made pretty much ALL my friends.

Friends of friends, although you seem to be doing that and they all seem to be heavy drinkers too. My cousin and my sister met their SOs social dancing - cousin met hubby at a dance class and sis met her bf in her swing dancing circles. Best friend met her hubby in tae kwon do, so it doesn't have to be dancing.

Classes are another way. Old roommate met her hubby in a teacher's class. Work too, although it'd be more like the "friends of friends" than dating in your workgroup, which can be awkward.

And I met my fiance online.

Anyways, the gist is to meet new people in an environment where you aren't all drinking.

 

[Boy Scout]

Book club?

 

[Erzengel]

A club that gets together and discusses a particular book that's been previously read recently.

 

[Hobgoblin]

It really depends, on what you are looking for, Hobgoblin.

Just because they are in their early 20s doesn't mean they are immature. I mean a lot of them may be. I mean you can have a perfect stable relationship with them.

But if you're looking for "fun", you can do that to.

You have to remember a lot of the women in their late 20s and thirties are looking for more security.

What are you looking for?

What I want is stability and maturity. Even when I was in my early 20s I didnt like women in that same age range. I think that I would have even less in common with them now that I'm ten years older than they are. Now that I'm older I find that all of the women my age are in committed relationships.

I want a single, childless woman my age to have intelligent conversations with, but like I said, they're taken. I guess I can try younger women.

 

[Anita18]

What I want is stability and maturity. Even when I was in my early 20s I didnt like women in that same age range. I think that I would have even less in common with them now that I'm ten years older than they are. Now that I'm older I find that all of the women my age are in committed relationships.

I want a single, childless woman my age to have intelligent conversations with, but like I said, they're taken. I guess I can try younger women.

Not all older women are taken, but yeah, depends on where you are. In cities it's definitely more common to be older and single.

Even for myself, as a mature teenager/young adult in the past, I feel WAY different now that I'm 28 than when I was 19. You could try it dating younger women, but just speaking from personal experience, often they don't know what they want either, and they still have a lot of living to do. It doesn't have to do with general maturity level, but life experience and what they think they know or want out of life.

 

[Erzengel]

What I want is stability and maturity. Even when I was in my early 20s I didnt like women in that same age range. I think that I would have even less in common with them now that I'm ten years older than they are. Now that I'm older I find that all of the women my age are in committed relationships.

I want a single, childless woman my age to have intelligent conversations with, but like I said, they're taken. I guess I can try younger women.

I know quite a few girls, pushing 30 without any kids. I live in the suburbs a little bit from the city. It really depends on your location.

 

[Hobgoblin]

I live in the far northwest Chicago suburbs, in a town with 40,000 people. All of my co-workers are either much younger or much older. I really think that a lot of the women my age moved to Chicago. At least, I've noticed a lot of my high school class mates live in that area now.

I am going to grad school near Chicago and many of my classmates are female, which is nice. Its just a little more difficult to coordinate a coffee date when I live over an hour away from them.

 

[Godzilla2000]

I'm just curious...have any of you ever found yourselves accidentally in love with someone? I have reason to believe that I might be in this type of a situation, but the guy in question that I am perplexed about, I certainly did not intend to develop any really strong feelings about this man aside from a silly little temporary crush. I just can't seem to see myself fitting into his world comfortably. He is definitely nice to look at but I'm a low key, intellectual, introverted, slightly Goth leaning type person and he's what you might call the popular guy that all the girls want. I guess I just feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment because of how different we both seem to be. I know some people say maybe this type of guy is what I need, but I feel there's the potential of both of us inadvertently saying or doing hurtful things because of how different we are. I'm not sure one way or the other about the risk factor involved because of how different our worlds and philosophies are. I think the only way to really clear things up is to actually have a chat over dinner somewhere. What do you think?

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

No one wants to come to my Kegger? Y'all are bums. There's a lot of b*tches coming.

 

[WillardNation]

I'm just curious...have any of you ever found yourselves accidentally in love with someone? I have reason to believe that I might be in this type of a situation, but the guy in question that I am perplexed about. I certainly did not intend to develop any really strong feelings about this man aside from a silly little temporary crush because I just can't seem to see myself fitting into his world comfortably. He is definitely nice to look at but I'm a low key, intellectual, introverted, slightly Goth leaning type person and he's what you might call the popular guy that all the girls want. I guess I just feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment because of how different we both seem to be. I know some people say maybe this type of guy is what I need, but I feel there's the potential of both of us inadvertently saying or doing hurtful things because of how different we are. I'm not sure one way or the other about the risk factor involved because of how different our worlds and philosophies are. I think the only way to really clear things up is to actually have a chat over dinner somewhere. What do you think?

Goth people still exist?

 

[Godzilla2000]

Goth people still exist?

Of course they do. I think you have Goths confused with Emos. Trust me, there is a difference.

 

[WillardNation]

Of course they do. I think you have Goths confused with Emos. Trust me, there is a difference.

What part of my query lead you to believe I had them confused? I assure you, I do not. I was simply confused that being goth was still a thing.

 

[Godzilla2000]

What part of my query lead you to believe I had them confused? I assure you, I do not. I was simply confused that being goth was still a thing.

Why would Goths not exist? And when I mean Goth, I'm closer to the Amy Lee type of Goth person. I don't wear all black and don't wear the white faced Goth makeup so when I decide to dress Goth the "normal" people can tolerate my presence because it's not extreme. And I do have a sense of humor, just not the wacky, slip on a banana peel silliness some people think is humor.

But back on topic, I think I get testy a lot, and admittedly towards he and his friends, because I just don't understand what's going on. I just don't think I should be having the feelings I have for this guy because I just don't feel like I fit into his world easily. I guess subconsciously I'm trying to drive him away because I just don't want to feel like I'm forcing people to tolerate me. I just don't want to be a source of embarrassment for him either. That and I suspect there are some people close to him that just don't like me because they just don't understand me nor want to understand me at all and would love to harm me.

 

[WillardNation]

Why would Goths not exist? And when I mean Goth, I'm closer to the Amy Lee type of Goth person. I don't wear all black and don't wear the white faced Goth makeup so when I decide to dress Goth the "normal" people can tolerate my presence because it's not extreme. And I do have a sense of humor, just not the wacky, slip on a banana peel silliness some people think is humor.

I assumed goth was a fad that faded away much like grunge.

Will you tell me a joke? I would like to see what your sense of humor is like, since you don't find slipping on banana peels funny. (Which I find quite appalling, btw.)

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I think a goth slipping on a bannana peel sounds hilarious...

 

[Lord Valumart]

I assumed goth was a fad that faded away much like grunge.

Will you tell me a joke? I would like to see what your sense of humor is like, since you don't find slipping on banana peels funny. (Which I find quite appalling, btw.)

Who doesn't find that funny? You're dead inside if you don't find that funny.

 

[Godzilla2000]

Well, slipping on a banana peel can really hurt though.

 

[Boy Scout]

A club that gets together and discusses a particular book that's been previously read recently.

It was a suggestion. t:

 

[Anita18]

I live in the far northwest Chicago suburbs, in a town with 40,000 people. All of my co-workers are either much younger or much older. I really think that a lot of the women my age moved to Chicago. At least, I've noticed a lot of my high school class mates live in that area now.

I am going to grad school near Chicago and many of my classmates are female, which is nice. Its just a little more difficult to coordinate a coffee date when I live over an hour away from them.

It's not impossible though. I met my fiance when we lived an hour apart. We'd just meet up for hanging out and/or dinner on the weekends. Actually in the beginning, we met in the middle and it was fine.

Then again we didn't see each other 3x a week or anything. It was more like once a month and then he started to stay over the weekends.

I'm just curious...have any of you ever found yourselves accidentally in love with someone? I have reason to believe that I might be in this type of a situation, but the guy in question that I am perplexed about, I certainly did not intend to develop any really strong feelings about this man aside from a silly little temporary crush. I just can't seem to see myself fitting into his world comfortably. He is definitely nice to look at but I'm a low key, intellectual, introverted, slightly Goth leaning type person and he's what you might call the popular guy that all the girls want. I guess I just feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment because of how different we both seem to be. I know some people say maybe this type of guy is what I need, but I feel there's the potential of both of us inadvertently saying or doing hurtful things because of how different we are. I'm not sure one way or the other about the risk factor involved because of how different our worlds and philosophies are. I think the only way to really clear things up is to actually have a chat over dinner somewhere. What do you think?

My college crush still posts on Facebook and my heart still skips a tiny beat every time I see a photo of him.

But I'm sure I would STRANGLE him on a date because his political views are so different from mine, and he's pretty extremist about them too. Sometimes you just gotta admit when something's not gonna work out and lessen the stress for yourself! True love doesn't exist when you're stressed being around him - what you're feeling is just lust.

 

[WillardNation]

Well, slipping on a banana peel can really hurt though.

I mean, not really. Have you ever actually stepped on a banana peel? There's not much actual slippage.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Banana_peels

 

[Dark Raven]

It's not impossible though. I met my fiance when we lived an hour apart. We'd just meet up for hanging out and/or dinner on the weekends. Actually in the beginning, we met in the middle and it was fine.

Then again we didn't see each other 3x a week or anything. It was more like once a month and then he started to stay over the weekends.


My college crush still posts on Facebook and my heart still skips a tiny beat every time I see a photo of him.

But I'm sure I would STRANGLE him on a date because his political views are so different from mine, and he's pretty extremist about them too. Sometimes you just gotta admit when something's not gonna work out and lessen the stress for yourself! True love doesn't exist when you're stressed being around him - what you're feeling is just lust.

I haven't been keeping up with this thread recently? He's your fiance now? Congratuations. When did that happen and how? Maybe you've already told the story of your proposal on here, but I haven't heard it.

You met him online, right? How did you find the long distance relationship to begin with? Was that something that made you hesitant? Or perhaps you didn't consider it that long distance?

I would think it could be a problem, especially if you're deciding to meet up for the first time and a person is a 2-3 hours drive away. You don't want to overdo it, but you can't just mee t up for only an hour or less if, say, it takes you 2-3 hours to get to a person. Wouldn't you want to make more of a day of it, but then you know you can't plan it that way, because what if you don't get on in person?

How do others feel about having to travel to meet someone online who is a few hours away?

 

[Anubis]

Seems like a big hassle for what will inevitably be a disappointment.

 

[terry78]

If you're just meeting up to "hang out", I don't know. If it's a booty call, get it done.

 

[Duke]

Who doesn't find that funny? You're dead inside if you don't find that funny.

I'd definitely find it hilarious.

I mean, not really. Have you ever actually stepped on a banana peel? There's not much actual slippage.

I always thought slipping on a banana peel was more of a cartoon thing.