Advice and Relationships Again: A Hypester's Tale

[ComicChick]

I've actually never been called cold-hearted or heartless, though...that's just odd. I'm always willing to lend a hand without being asked to, maybe that's why?

that's the funny thing, i'm always always helping others out, doing volunteer work, etc. the people who have called me that dont know me at all and that's fine. it doesn't bother me

 

[ComicChick]

^ It's like the teaser we have been waiting for since time immemorial.

haha i doubt that

 

[Anita18]

that's the funny thing, i'm always always helping others out, doing volunteer work, etc. the people who have called me that dont know me at all and that's fine. it doesn't bother me

Yeah you're surrounded by clueless dipsticks, that's the only explanation.

 

[steintym]

CC, you should have a lot more confidence than you seem to currently have. Get over the confidence issue and I have not doubt you'll find someone.

 

[Anita18]

lots of great feedback and points here, so thanks for that

i noticed that when i became happier with my results and looks that i became more comfortable in my skin. when i got rid of a ton of clothes that no longer fit and got more fitting clothes and changed up my style more that i think it helped my confidence a lot.


i'll end up deleting this later i'm sure, but i think one way for me to get some confidence would be to open and put myself out there.

i've always kept my hype life and real life separate, but maybe by posting this, it can be a small ripple that starts the wave i need in my life (boring metaphorical drivel lol)

Couldn't comment on this until I got home and escaped the work firewall, but you look great CC. Just keep working on that confidence and taking some chances (seriously, what's the worst that could happen?) and you'll find the guy for you.

 

[Optimus_Prime_]

I'd do something a little bolder with your hair. You have nice hair, and I'm not a hair stylist, but I dunno, seems like if you did more with it that might make you stand out more.

 

[Dreadstar]

OK, so please dont laugh, but me and fling girl broke up last night. I am sorry for all the crap I posted. I have been brought down to earth. NO more alpha dog stunts. I became a different person, now I do not have the energy to put on that show. All I want to do is be by myself or with my friends and family. I am very down.

I am a basket case. She said some hurtful things to me. I was shocked. She is the type of woman that has communication issues. She does not talk about whats bothering her, she keeps it and in and snaps. The thing that really hurt is that she never sat me down and told me, "these are the things that bother me, you need to change or I am done!" She never gave me a chance to change.

I made mistakes and I need to make improvements. This really hurts. I got too over the top cocky. But oh how that all changes. I have no self confidence right now. I have no energy to do much of anything. I cant eat or sleep.

 

[Erzengel]

What were the mistakes?

 

[Dreadstar]

She said 2 things: That I was cheap. But I paid when we went out the first time. The second date she said she would pay. After that we would switch, one time her, one time me. She felt that whevever she pays, I ordered all kinds of food, but when I paid, I cut it down. HONEST TYO GOD I was not aware I was doing that if I was! She should have said something to me.She did not like that I did not turn on the AC on the drive back from the mountains. She said I did not turn it on just to save a little gas mileage. If she wanted it on, all she had to do was ask. She said I was using her.

She also said she was bored sexually. I asked her about this earlier because she was not having the big O, she said it was fine. Everything is OK. I asked her that her having those was a priority and I want to make her feel good. She needs to tell me what turns her on.

She also said that a man should just know how to make love to her. But I told her each person is an individual and different things turn on different people.

And about her selling her house next summer and moving out of this city, I was right! She said I was not going to be in the picture by then.

There was also another BIG RED flag, she was unwillingly to talk about her past, which to me suggests she repeats this pattern in relationships. She finds something soemthing wrong or some fault, then bails. She left husband after 8 years because he lost his eye sight. Thats pretty cold. She also told me that she is a ***** and proud of that. Another red flag, the people at her work call her a cold hearted *****, which now is not far from the truth, she admitted that.

SO am I right? I really try to be as open as possible and talk in relationships. I want communication to avoid exactly things like this! I told her its like getting evaluated at work, they point out your strengths and weaknesses and give you a chance to improve. I was never given the chance to change, hell, I had no idea all this was going on.

 

[Coca Cola Duracell Franklin.]

She said 2 things: That I was cheap. But I paid when we went out the first time. The second date she said she would pay. After that we would switch, one time her, one time me. She did not like that I did not turn on the AC on the drive back from the mountains. She said I did not turn it on just to save a little gas mileage. If she wanted it on, all she had to do was ask. She said I was using her.

That's B.S. She can drive if she wants air-conditioning. Or pay for your gas. This is a gender-equal world we live in. Guys don't have to pay for everything anymore.

She also said she was bored sexually. I asked her about this earlier because she was not having the big O, she said it was fine. Everything is OK. I asked her that her having those was a priority and I want to make her feel good. She needs to tell me what turns her on.

She also said that a man should just know how to make love to her. But I told her each person is an individual and different things tuen on different people.

Get really good at cunnilingus.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

I don't get it... if this girl was just a fling, why are you acting like you've just been dumped from a committed relationship?

 

[Dreadstar]

I guess I cared for her more than I wanted to admit.

 

[Erzengel]

She said 2 things: That I was cheap. But I paid when we went out the first time. The second date she said she would pay. After that we would switch, one time her, one time me. She did not like that I did not turn on the AC on the drive back from the mountains. She said I did not turn it on just to save a little gas mileage. If she wanted it on, all she had to do was ask. She said I was using her.

She also said she was bored sexually. I asked her about this earlier because she was not having the big O, she said it was fine. Everything is OK. I asked her that her having those was a priority and I want to make her feel good. She needs to tell me what turns her on.

She also said that a man should just know how to make love to her. But I told her each person is an individual and different things turn on different people.

And about her selling her house next summer and moving out of this city, I was right! She said I was not going to be in the picture by then.

There was also another BIG RED flag, she was unwillingly to talk about her past, which to me suggests she repeats this pattern in relationships. She finds something soemthing wrong or some fault, then bails. She left husband after 8 years because he lost his eye sight. Thats pretty cold. She also told me that she is a ***** and proud of that. Another red flag, the people at her work call her a cold hearted *****, which now is not far from the truth, she admitted that.

SO am I right? I really try to be as open as possible and talk in relationships. I want communication to avoid exactly things like this!

From what you wrote, it doesn't sound like she was into you at all. And most of the things she listed, were reasons just to cut you loose because of it.

And maybe it's just cause she was a b'.

 

[Dreadstar]

Well, we had sex on a regular basis, sometimes on and off for 4 hours. I met most of her friends. I took her out for lunch once every week. We cooked together. I bought her red roses and made a candle light dinner at my place complete with her favourite music. when we were together in bed, she was always in my arms, we always held hands everywhere we went. She was always touching my arms or shoulders in public and at home. She always said how she could not wait to see me. I told her that SHE is a priorty in my life and I will make time for her and I want to spend as much time as possible getting to know her. So WTF?


I know I am not prefect, I am a human being and I make mistakes. I told her that. I said making mistakes is not that bad, NOT wanting to correct them or change them or make them right is bad. I was willing to do whatever it took. I was all in.

 

[Erzengel]

Maybe she just liked the attention from you.

The whole "cheap" thing is a flimsy excuse. The love making issue could have been worked on.

Again, all stuff if she was really into you could have worked through.

Hey, do you know how many mannerisms, behaviors and quirks are usually ignored in the first few months of a relationship? She just pulled them out now, because she wasn't interested/bored/found someone else.

 

[Dreadstar]

Anyways, I deleted all the pics of us together from my phone and from facebook. I threw out stuff we purchased together or that she bought me or that reminded me of her.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

Maybe she just liked the attention from you.

The whole "cheap" thing is a flimsy excuse. The love making issue could have been worked on.

Again, all stuff if she was really into you could have worked through.

Hey, do you know how many mannerisms, behaviors and quirks are usually ignored in the first few months of a relationship? She just pulled them out now, because she wasn't interested/bored/found someone else.

To be honest, most people don't say that sort of stuff when they break up with you, unless there is a reason. It seems so harsh it makes me wonder if she was mad at him.

I mean, if a girls gonna dump a guy who has been good to her (and she's not a total *****), she'll usually just say she doesn't feel it's right anymore, or she needs to explore who she is on her own or something.

Not 'You're cheap, and you're **** in bed'

 

[Dreadstar]

She seems to want a man to be all the things she wants without ever telling him. He has to act a certain way and do everything a certain way. Thats not possible. No one is prefect like that, there has to be some give and take.

And about the sex thing, we talked about that and she said everything was fine! I suggested some things we could try in bed, but she got mad. So how the hell am I suppose to spice things up if she gets mad at suggestions? She could have just said, no I am not into that, but we could try this.

She did not even want to tell me the reasons WHy she was done! I asked her and she said they would be hurtful! WTF? I told her I do not want to make the same mistakes in the future, I want to improve. I want feedback. I want to change for the better.

 

[Thedudehimself]

Some of you might have read it in the other thread here, yesterday I cheated on my girlfriend. And I did it on purpose, I guess I can say that much. There was no alcohol, there was no forcing, the girl and I just wanted it. While doing it I did not think a bit of my girlfriend. Afterwards I felt incredibly bad. I felt sorry. Because I feel truly love for my girlfriend (even though she can be annoying). The last 48 hours I was struggeling with myself wether I should tell her or not.

2 Hours ago my girlfriend wrote me a message in MSN, asking why I did not talk to her for the last 2 days. She says she wants to go out with me tommorow. I just dont know what to do!!! Help me!!! I dont wanna dissapoint her, but I also feel like she deserves better than me. I....I cant think of what I should do now. I am a coward, I guess I wont tell her. Maybe I should break up with her for a made up reason? Maybe I can tell her I dont find her attractive anymore or that she is getting fat, that would hurt her too but not so much as the cheating I did.

Please help me. Someone.

 

[craigdbfan]

Tell her what you did and then break up so she can find someone who's actually worth her time.

 

[Erzengel]

Some of you might have read it in the other thread here, yesterday I cheated on my girlfriend. And I did it on purpose, I guess I can say that much. There was no alcohol, there was no forcing, the girl and I just wanted it. While doing it I did not think a bit of my girlfriend. Afterwards I felt incredibly bad. I felt sorry. Because I feel truly love for my girlfriend (even though she can be annoying). The last 48 hours I was struggeling with myself wether I should tell her or not.

2 Hours ago my girlfriend wrote me a message in MSN, asking why I did not talk to her for the last 2 days. She says she wants to go out with me tommorow. I just dont know what to do!!! Help me!!! I dont wanna dissapoint her, but I also feel like she deserves better than me. I....I cant think of what I should do now. I am a coward, I guess I wont tell her. Maybe I should break up with her for a made up reason? Maybe I can tell her I dont find her attractive anymore or that she is getting fat, that would hurt her too but not so much as the cheating I did.

Please help me. Someone.

You have 2 choices.

Keep your mouth shut and live with the guilt or fess up and accept the consequences.

 

[Dreadstar]

I just threw out her tooth brush that she purchased to use when she stayed over at my place.

The thing that kills me is I NEVER EVER did any of those things to intentionally hurt or upset her! if I had the chance, I would change! Thats what kills me. At least if I had the chance and failed, then I could say that that I tried. I HATE people not telling me when I am doing something that ticks them off. We all do things that unintentionally ticks people off, but once you are made known of this, you change.

 

[hopefuldreamer]

She seems to want a man to be all the things she wants without ever telling him. He has to act a certain way and do everything a certain way. Thats not possible. No one is prefect like that, there has to be some give and take.

And about the sex thing, we talked about that and she said everything was fine! I suggested some things we could try in bed, but she got mad. So how the hell am I suppose to spice things up if she gets mad at suggestions? She could have just said, no I am not into that, but we could try this.

She did not even want to tell me the reasons WHy she was done! I asked her and she said they would be hurtful! WTF? I told her I do not want to make the same mistakes in the future, I want to improve. I want feedback. I want to change for the better.

Well you're probably much better off without her if she's that kind of person.

Some of you might have read it in the other thread here, yesterday I cheated on my girlfriend. And I did it on purpose, I guess I can say that much. There was no alcohol, there was no forcing, the girl and I just wanted it. While doing it I did not think a bit of my girlfriend. Afterwards I felt incredibly bad. I felt sorry. Because I feel truly love for my girlfriend (even though she can be annoying). The last 48 hours I was struggeling with myself wether I should tell her or not.

2 Hours ago my girlfriend wrote me a message in MSN, asking why I did not talk to her for the last 2 days. She says she wants to go out with me tommorow. I just dont know what to do!!! Help me!!! I dont wanna dissapoint her, but I also feel like she deserves better than me. I....I cant think of what I should do now. I am a coward, I guess I wont tell her. Maybe I should break up with her for a made up reason? Maybe I can tell her I dont find her attractive anymore or that she is getting fat, that would hurt her too but not so much as the cheating I did.

Please help me. Someone.

You think it'd be easier on her if her boyfriend dumped her because she is getting fat?



Just tell her the truth and then leave her the hell alone. I don't care if you think you love her or not, you DON'T. Or you wouldn't have done it at all.

 

[Dreadstar]

I am prob better off without her. But I would get back with her in a second if I could.

I REALLY want to change and I am so motivated! I am NOT a selfish person and if I am, I am lucky enough to have people around me to tell me.

 

[Erzengel]

Dude, why don't you collect what dignity you have and find someone else?