Check Please! The Offical Worst Date Ever Thread

[Hound55]

My brother set me up a blind date with one of her friends.
I was down with it until I showed up and she was waiting for me at the table.
But what my darling big bro. had neglected to tell me that she's 32.
And I am 18.

...
and she was my math teacher.

I never even made it to the table.

# So here's to you Mrs Robinson, Jesus love you more than you... #

 

[Hound55]

I was set up on a blind date a few years ago by my best bud's girlfriend. I had recently broken up with my girlfriend of 4 years and she was honestly trying to get me out of my funk.

On the way to the date there was a fire in the subway tunnel so the train stopped for 45 minutes when I was less than even half way there. We finally moved and stopped at the next station and the announcement said service is terminated on that line for the rest of the evening. So I ran upstairs and got a cab, there's nothing in this world hate more than being late. I eventually go there to the bookstore (where we decided to meet) and was I f-ing surprised.

Rachel (my bud's gf) thought, "Omar like athletic girls because he's an athlete, so I'll set him up with something different." She was short, a bit chubby and about as active as a slug, doesn't swim, hike, raft, run, bike, nothing! She was cute though, just a bit thick for my tastes. But I though we are in a book store, everybody loves books we'll have tonnes to talk about before we make our reservation. Funny how that works out with Rachel picking someone totally different to get my mind off my ex, this girl didn't read! I never got those people who just don't read books! You set up a guy who went to college for English Lit and Journalism with someone who does not read?

Dinner was nice but I found out more stuff about her I didn't like. She was in NY working as a nanny for a rich family in Brooklyn, but her major career goal was to be a housewife. Totally '50's TV stay at home mom with the cooking and cleaning and the worshiping of the husband and all. As much as that would stroke my ego that's just something I could not get behind, I can't dig a chick who's main goal is to pop out kids.

Besides, the whole night on the date all I could think of is, she's already a bit thick, she's not active and all the wants to do is stay home, pop out kids and cook. In a few years this is gonna look really bad!

Thick? Them's child rearin' hips! Hahaha

 

[Immortalfire]

I was with a group of schools friends and my girlfriend, and we were waiting for our food and stuff so we all start asking each other questions. My girlfriend asks " If your mom and I were in a burning building who would you save?" I said "My mom" my girlfriend then stormed off to the bathroom. At that moment I decided to break up with her. As she was a crazy person from this, and past things she said.

I'd have said the same thing.

 

[E-Man]

I was with a group of schools friends and my girlfriend, and we were waiting for our food and stuff so we all start asking each other questions. My girlfriend asks " If your mom and I were in a burning building who would you save?" I said "My mom" my girlfriend then stormed off to the bathroom. At that moment I decided to break up with her. As she was a crazy person from this, and past things she said.

Everyone has that crazy girlfriend like that. You're smart enough to break up with her instead of running after trying to make up with her. What kind of a psycho worries about stuff like that?

 

[Anita18]

My worst date so far was when I went out with a girl who I did not know she was very religious and she brought her parents with her. It was a total bummer

This made me

I don't have a lot of super-juicy ones, but I remember trying to get away from a guy who obviously had some anger issues. He got so pissed off at the littlest things, and it was only dinner!

 

[uchiha_itachi]

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[Lunar_Wolf]

I went on a date with this girl once who would barely said a word. I think I got maybe two sentences out of her. We were with her friend and my friend, so it was a double date. It wasn't just me she barely said a word to, it was everyone. Talk about socially ******ed.

 

[Anita18]

I went on a date with this girl once who would barely said a word. I think I got maybe two sentences out of her. We were with her friend and my friend, so it was a double date. It wasn't just me she barely said a word to, it was everyone. Talk about socially ******ed.

Apparently a college friend of mine was very very quiet and proper when she first met her now-husband's family. Apparently she didn't say a single word at dinner, and then one of her bf's brothers (he has three ) yelled, "SPEAK!!!!!" at her.

It scared her witless at the time, but it certainly made for an entertaining wedding speech by another brother.

 

[-Arya-]

I went on a date with this girl once who would barely said a word. I think I got maybe two sentences out of her. We were with her friend and my friend, so it was a double date. It wasn't just me she barely said a word to, it was everyone. Talk about socially ******ed.

Wow.

 

[Hyper Venom]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

 

[enterthemadness]

This may not count as my only date, cause this girl....changed it from date to 'going to a movie as friends' but then wanted to share a drink/popcorn with me when we got there.

Worst night to a degree...too chicken to make any move on her cause I didn't know what she wanted outta me. Make matters worse, I...fumbled...hard...like in my hands, dropped it, kicked, it etc.

It was...in the 40's or 50's...did a good thing and gave her my jacket, then I got cold and she gave it back to me, akward. But...this is the fumble point. My Mom picks me up, and her ride takes forever...so My Mom invites her into the car...I'm in the front passenger seat and my Mom is talking to her non-stop. Her ride comes much later and me and the girl became d-bags to each other. (Her saying onto the phone to me my mom was creepy and she won't go out with me until I or her get a car...which turned out to be ********. Me giving out her phoen number to a friend who pissed her off with prank calls, then he sold me out and she was like HEY and I was like me? Nooooooo... damn u got me.

Not only that I got me a tat to impress her..bad mistake. Started smoking cause she pissed me off...bad...well, no I like smoking, but still.

I'm at the point where all I want to do in life is get tats, smoke, and work out. I have 5 right now...quarter sleave on right forearm used to count as two. I just want to unload a shocking number of tats on me, a lot easier than asking women out and I like tattoo parlors.

I ranted too...but it was kinda full circle...

 

[Anita18]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!)

Hey, I met my bf online. Not all of us are weird!

Er, um, but I guess bf and I ARE weird, but we're cool with it.

 

[enterthemadness]

I went on a date with this girl once who would barely said a word. I think I got maybe two sentences out of her. We were with her friend and my friend, so it was a double date. It wasn't just me she barely said a word to, it was everyone. Talk about socially ******ed.

I used to be that way when I was younger...might still be if not with family or good friends at places.

 

[Hyper Venom]

Hey, I met my bf online. Not all of us are weird!

Er, um, but I guess bf and I ARE weird, but we're cool with it.

Weirdness is fine! But I'll bet both you and he know how to compose yourselves in a public place, which this girl did not.

 

[Sarge 2.0]

My brother set me up a blind date with one of her friends.
I was down with it until I showed up and she was waiting for me at the table.
But what my darling big bro. had neglected to tell me that she's 32.
And I am 18.

...
and she was my math teacher.

I never even made it to the table.

...

Was she hot?

 

[Lunar_Wolf]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

 

[BlackLantern]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

good comedy should always be rewarded

 

[Immortalfire]

 

[Sarge 2.0]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

You should have high fived him when she wasn't looking.

 

[Hyper Venom]

You should have high fived him when she wasn't looking.

No, I should have high fived him when she WAS looking.

 

[Wolfwood]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

Oh my God, that is so ****ed up....I love it.

So did you still talk to her after the date?

 

[Hyper Venom]

Oh my God, that is so ****ed up....I love it.

So did you still talk to her after the date?

Yeah, we stayed friends. No more dates with her, though.

 

[CashforStash]

I went on a date with my sisters ex. She found out.

You heard that right. My sisters ex.

Let's just say 'Up' got interUPped.

Ahaha this reminds me of the best date ever yesterday.

So about two days ago I was introduced to a girl who was a year young then me and a girl that was a year older then me, and they where both sisters. The the one that was older then me was soo attractive but it seemed like she already had a boyfriend and she was fairly quiet, so we went to the beach together and I ended up having interest in the younger sister and at the end of the day i put my arm around her.

So yesterday I come to wonderland (a theme park) thinking that my goal is to go after the younger sister, but no that changed half way through the day, I ended up putting my arm around the older sister and then we eventually started to hold hands. Then we went on the biggest ride there Behemoth and then we held hands on that (the whole time). So in the car ride back she put her hand on my leg and then we started to snuggle and hold hands and then we ended up making out but her parents where at the front so


In the end I got the girl I never even thought of getting (cause she was so damn hot)

 

[ultrasuperduckman]

Once took out a girl I met online (should have been my first red flag!) but we had been chatting for maybe half a year, and she seemed pretty cool so we decided to meet for dinner. First the chick is about half an hour late, and happens to show up just as I'm leaving.
So we sit down, and we chat for a few minutes while we wait for our food. During the course of the conversation, I crack a few jokes, as I tend to do. Eventually I notice that her laughter is becoming increasingly bizarre and boisterous. Of course, this should have been a sign to me to stop cracking jokes, but damnit I'm on a roll so I keep making her laugh (I also wanted to see just how bizarre her laugh could get). Eventually she's laughing so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating, the waiters and waitresses have stopped working, and people have come out of the kitchen to see what's making so much noise. At this point I stop attempting to make her laugh as I am now completely embarassed and never imagined her laugh could have been this bad.
Finally she stops laughing and realizes everyone is staring at her. She looks completely horrified and says, "Oh my god, I just made such an ass of myself!" I feel bad for her so I tell her it's not that bad. She gets kinda teary-eyed, excuses herself, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back out a few minutes later and apologizes. I tell her to think nothing of it and that it was entirely my fault. Just as I seem to have gotten the situation under control, the waiter brings us our food. He sits my plate in front of me and says, "for the gentleman". Then he sits her plate in front of her and says, "for the hyena". The girl then bursts into tears, runs back to the bathroom, and when she returns, we just eat in awkward silence.

I ended up giving the waiter a pretty big tip. What he said was cold, but it was funny, damnit.

That's more than hilarious....I don't even know what that is.

 

[teewee1432]

This is a hyena