Check Please! The Offical Worst Date Ever Thread

[teewee1432]

It's something EVERYONE has or will experience at some point in their lives theres no escaping it. This is the tread where we share the stories of some of the worst dates we've ever been on.

I'll kick it off: A few years back my best friend set me up on a blind date with his girlfriends friend. I have always been against these type of things but I agreed to it because I wanted to see the movie Underworld that we were seeing that night so I said how bad could it be. When I met the girl she had some of the biggest rabbit teeth I've every seen, and the worst personality. She made a point of controdicting everything I said the entire night and she was on some kind of femenist kick. I couldn't wait for the movie to end so that I could just get the hell away from her.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Should'a ran away at the teeth.

 

[teewee1432]

I wish I would have but I just met her and didnt wanna be rude. Plus being distracted with the movie kinda helped.

 

[Eggyman]

The date had gone ok, and then we got back to my place. I'm stood wondering WTF just happened when she says, 'I shoulda warned you, I'm a squirter.'

*flop*

Just took me by surprise.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

I went on a date with my sisters ex. She found out.

You heard that right. My sisters ex.

Let's just say 'Up' got interUPped.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

I was forced to double date with my cousin once because she and her husband had to take this girl to lunch to thank her. My cousin's husband (who was also my freind) said he attempted to call me to find an excuse not come but she did not let him.

In any case, this girl was one of the ugliest people I had ever met not to mention she was fawning over our family which was highly annoying. The worse part about it was we are eating in a romantic restaurant with a small waterfall for a view and I had to pay for half this fiasco.

I gave a big tongue lashing to my cousin afterwards which brought her to tears, I would normally do such a thing but making me suffer through that deserved a few moments of mental anguish.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

So, they made you pay for them putting you through hell?

Never again!

 

[Majic Walrus]

In an effort to not get an infraction for the shear amount of gross you're about to read I'm going to do this quietly:

I met this girl, right? Her name was Brittany. She was as smart as a piece of wood and she had a tramp stamp on her back with her name on it. She talked mostly about herself and how easy she was.

Skipping forward a few hours.

There was something that reminded me of the alien symbiote covering parts of my body. A quick listerine wash later she was out the door.





Don't worry ladies, I've been tested and I'm clean.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

Why did you even do it?

 

[Majic Walrus]

Why did you even do it?

I could blame the alcohol, but it wouldn't change anything.

 

[Hound55]

In an effort to not get an infraction for the shear amount of gross you're about to read I'm going to do this quietly:

I met this girl, right? Her name was Brittany. She was as smart as a piece of wood and she had a tramp stamp on her back with her name on it. She talked mostly about herself and how easy she was.

Skipping forward a few hours.

There was something that reminded me of the alien symbiote covering parts of my body. A quick listerine wash later she was out the door.





Don't worry ladies, I've been tested and I'm clean.

Literally or figuratively?

Are you saying SHE was all over you like a rash or that she was emitting a black, viscous substance over your person..?

 

[Majic Walrus]

Literally or figuratively?

Are you saying SHE was all over you like a rash or that she was emitting a black, viscous substance over your person..?

Black viscous substance. I describe the event with friends as, "The Day of the Black Film".

Thank God for Listerine.

 

[Eggyman]

Sh**! I thought I had it bad with the woman-supersoaker.

 

[Ahura Mazda]

So, they made you pay for them putting you through hell?

Never again!

Well we were the only two guys so we had to split the bill. I was not going to ask the girl to pay as horrible as she was.

 

[Majic Walrus]

Sh**! I thought I had it bad with the woman-supersoaker.

I could get into the woman supersoaker as long as I had advanced notice and possibly a wet suit.

 

[TheFuture]

The cinema. Never go to the cinema on the first date. Or noisy pubs. Put these two together and you have a sure fire FAIL.

 

[Eggyman]

I could get into the woman supersoaker as long as I had advanced notice and possibly a wet suit.

I'd only just moved into my new apartment. I didn't even have a mop

I'm thankful for wooden floors.

 

[Hound55]

Black viscous substance. I describe the event with friends as, "The Day of the Black Film".

Thank God for Listerine.

Solution:

Fire... and lots of it.

 

[Majic Walrus]

I'd only just moved into my new apartment. I didn't even have a mop

I'm thankful for wooden floors.

Haha... I would love to have been there for your reaction.

Minus having to see your wang.

Solution:

Fire... and lots of it.

You mean to burn her, right?

 

[Hound55]

You mean to burn her, right?

Or to ward her off... or as a distraction.

Fire - The tool with a thousand uses.

Bah! Take your pick, desperate times call for desparate measures...

 

[Majic Walrus]

Or to ward her off... or as a distraction.

Fire - The tool with a thousand uses.

Bah! Take your pick, desperate times call for desparate measures...

That is true.

Fortunately for me she and her nasty black symbiote coochie-coo have moved to Flordia. Hopefully to infect the guys from Miami Ink.

 

[teewee1432]

thats gross

 

[Wiseman]

I've never had a bad date..........not sure why but it's just never happened. And the only awkward sexual experience I've ever had was when I lost my virginity, other than that everythings been great. Weird

 

[kane9321]

Went out with a girl about 9 years ago, I made dinner reservations at this nice restaurant for 8:30pm I get to her house about 7pm....shes not dressed yet she's like "it'll only take me a minute, just sit tight, I'm about to hop in the shower"...ugh. That "minute" took 1hr 15 mins, we finally got to restaurant at 9pm, the restaurant gave away our table..cause well "we were late". She starts complaining about the table we got seated at, then she she started complaining about the restaurants menu..."she picked the place out mind you" I got so upset that I just got up, put some money on the table (an extra $15 for her cab fair) and i left her there..silly B^%*%

 

[teewee1432]

^^^^^^^^

Good for you. I hate complainers!