Do You Think The "Friend Zone" Exists?

[enterthemadness]

Do you want to be friends or lovers? 'Cause you're confusing the two. If the crush is obvious, she could see the drama that request could open if she rejects you down the line.

I doubt I can have my cake and eat it too in this case. I don't want to be on my deathbed one day wondering why I didn't have more friends in real life. I don't mind be just friends. It be awesome if something more happens, but doubt it. Besides, she si the only woman I talk to there really. She was the only one I told I was going out on a date with a older women, then I told her how the date went. And we talked about it.

I'm gonna ask out a lady that works at the local coffee place tomorrow anyway...this lady past two Sundays has sat next to me within minutes after she made me my coffee. We've talked briefly both times. I doubt a woman is gonna just happen to take a smoke break two times in a row, and not be interested in me, but I find out tomorrow I guess. I mean, there's one small table with two chairs outside and then two benches.

 

[Immortalfire]

"Its not that I don't like you, but..." = "I don't like you."

 

[Spade]

You can like someone and still be aware it wouldn't work out.

 

[Piper Maru]

Is there a bacon zone? That would be like Valhalla.

 

[Thundercrack85]

Of course it exists. I do find it curious that people only ever seem use it for men though.

Though personally, I question the long term sustainability of platonic opposite sex friendships. Then again no one said it had to be a particularly good friendship.

 

[MadVillainy]

Men and women can be friends sure. I dont think that's weird at all

Although i'll be surprised if a man and a girl who find each other sexually attractive have a whole friendship without one of them trying something either when theyre drunk or in a vlnerable place. At least that's what happened everytime Ive seen it

 

[Thundercrack85]

They're not friends if they do that.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

The friend-zone doesn't exist because someone doesn't owe you sexual or romantic gratification for your politeness.

 

[enterthemadness]

The friend-zone doesn't exist because someone doesn't owe you sexual or romantic gratification for your politeness.

Wrong .


Friend zone is when someone doesn't want to have adult fun with you.

 

[Aesop Rocks]

No, I'm pretty sure I'm right.

 

[enterthemadness]

No, I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Probably are, but for some odd reason I felt offended and needed to says something.

 

[Thundercrack85]

I guess it depends on how you define it.

To me it seems more like someone settling for being friends because they can't be anything more.

I'm still not convinced it is normal or even possible for people to have opposite sex friends. And when I say friends, I don't mean casual acquaintances, classmates, neighbors, or coworkers. I mean people you have a meaningful relationship with.

 

[Spade]

Although i'll be surprised if a man and a girl who find each other sexually attractive have a whole friendship without one of them trying something either when theyre drunk or in a vlnerable place.

That would be a bad idea. The drunk one could easily feel taken advantage of, and there goes whatever trust was had.

 

[Lantern Venom]

Yes, it certainly does. It's quite commonplace, especially when a person and their circle reach an age where sound judgment is on equal or greater footing with the hormones.

 

[Charlie Boy]

Do I think the Friendzone exists as something that is actually a thing and not just a construct to help bitter single people sleep better at night?

No.

I feel like the Friendzone is something people cling to like some sort of rescue raft in their sea of bull****. It's doing more harm than good. People believe the person their attracted to immediately owes the reciprocation, and when their feelings aren't reciprocated, in their head they've been exiled to the friendzone.

I've had several situations where the women I was interested in saw me as a "friend", instead of naked in their bed, which is how I wanted them to see me. I'm not friends with any of these women anymore, and I don't think I ever really was to begin with. I was attracted to them, I wanted some sort of relationship with them, be it emotional or strictly physical. Did I like them as people? Sure. But I didn't want to be a "friend".

Friendship, like all relationships, are a two way street. In order to be someones friend, you have to want to be that and only that. Being a friend who hopes to parlay the friendship into something romantic is disingenuous. You can't be placed into the friendzone. All that means is the person you were interested in is in no way interested in you. You're not in the friendzone, you're in the "They Don't Like Me Back Zone", but that's not as catchy.

 

[Hyde]

I've never thought of the friend zone as "a guy who's nice to a girl and expects sex". The name doesn't even have anything to do with that. "Friend Zone" suggests not wanting to date or have sex with someone because you're not attracted to them and only view them as a friend. In that way, yeah it definitely exists.

 

[Charlie Boy]

But then isn't that just friendship? Friendzone is term coined for people who've been rejected.

 

[DA_Champion]

It's a technically correct concept, but I don't think it's particularly informative.

 

[DA_Champion]

But then isn't that just friendship? Friendzone is term coined for people who've been rejected.

When A is ok being friends with B, but has no interest in sleeping with B, then B is friendzoned by A.

This obviously exists, it's just not useful as a concept.

 

[Hyde]

But then isn't that just friendship? Friendzone is term coined for people who've been rejected.

No, because that would mean both sides would have to be uninterested in each other romantically and sexually. Friendzoning comes in when one of them wants more.

 

[Charlie Boy]

And they don't get what they want, which is just rejection. Church it up however you like.

 

[Teelie]

I think the concept is too simplistic. Sex is not always necessarily the end goal of someone who is "friend zoned."

DA Champion summed up the gist of it for me if you exclude the sex part. A relationship is not merely about sex but the quote is close enough.

When A is ok being friends with B, but has no interest in sleeping with B, then B is friendzoned by A.

This obviously exists, it's just not useful as a concept.

 

[MadVillainy]

I think a lot of the people who are saying it doesnt exist are using the same narrow view of the concept that Radcliffe has.

 

[Lencho01]

I've actually never really looked at the sex part of being friendzoned. I thought the main focus was to actually date the person. Sex, of course, can be a part of that.

 

[SuperFerret]

Wrong .


Friend zone is when someone doesn't want to have adult fun with you.

Then I officially Friend Zone you.


It does exist, but not to the extent that people tend to act like it does. I've been friends with girls I'm attracted to. When I tried to act on that attraction, I was turned down and I had a decision to make: continue pining for someone who doesn't reciprocate and eventually lose a friend in the process, or get over them and be their friend. I chose the latter (and wiser and more respectful and less obsessive) path, and it turned out for the best. (We're both in separate happy relationships, are still on good terms, and probably would have never worked as a couple anyway.)

Typically though, if you're whining about being friend zoned, you're not being friend zoned because that would require being someone's friend.