Forgive the blaspheme folks, but Jesus Chriiiiiist! How old are you? You're not allowed you close your own bedroom door? Spidey, dude, that's not normal my friend. That is some Bates Motel/Red Dragon style mothering going on there. Now I don't have kids and don't like to judge the way parents do things, but there's a line where common sense kicks in regardless. Privacy is a basic human right.
Manic is right, you need to start just doing stuff. They want you to man up? Men make decisions and take action. Don't tell anyone, not even your friends. Start looking for a place, then secure a place, then when you're all set to go say "Hey, I'm moving out next week."
I'm 24
And I'm starting to see that my mom really has a problem with me keeping things private. Like on Friday, I paid the cell phone bill for her and realized that our new bill had just come in and that I racked in a large amount because I had been texting without a messaging plan. The person I had been texting was my brother's in law's on and off ex, and we had been keeping a lot of things secret because we know that the family would start talking and getting ideas if they knew that we had gotten so close in a time where she just kicked him out for the last time. We're just friends and there hasn't even been the slightest hint of something more from either of us, but I know that my family is going to talk. Not to mention, they all think she's crazy and don't like her to begin with. So knowing this, I told my mom upfront that I was going to take full responsibility for the bill and that I would pay for it myself, which was the new agreement that we had made anyway earlier in the week.
But when I woke up Saturday morning, I heard my mom on the phone with the phone company asking them if they could tell her who I was texting and stuff. The best way I could describe her conversation was like that of a wife who suspects her husband of cheating. That was the moment that I realized that I can't tell anything to anyone in my family, which is really hard because I work with my sister in law and she sees and hears stuff at work and relays the messages to my brother, who tells my mom. So I've already reached the point where I purposely avoid my brother when I'm home or on the weekends. I have a very limited amount of time to myself, compared to when I was home all the time, but for some reason, my family feels that my free time outside of work belongs to them and they really don't seem to want to let me get a life of my own.
Again, I don't like to judge the way parents do things, but it's pretty obvious your brother's kids are never going to learn to respect other people's stuff if they can't first learn the value of their own things. Three Kindles in four weeks? I'm going to assume your niece requires a Kindle for her schooling or something, because if not that is pretty ridiculous. All she's learned so far is that if she breaks it, she gets a new one. Why would she expect it to be any different for anyone else?
No, she has a Kindle simply because my brother didn't want the kids fighting over the iPad or the iPad mini anymore. From what I heard, they purposely didn't get insurance past the two week period that is provided because they wanted her to see that she needs to take care of it, but she has yet to make one last past two weeks. And its not like she's dropping it all the time either. One time it got messed up because she didn't to put a cup of BBQ sauce in her bag and it spilled all over the Kindle when she was walking home.
This is the exact reason why I told my mom I will not get her an iPad for her birthday today. Bad enough my niece took my mom's phone the other day and spent $50 on Candy Crush without even being punished or told of the consequences of her actions. But I know if my mom had an iPad, the kids would then move onto that and someone would break it and I would be expected to replace it like my brother does with his kids stuff.
You're well past the age where you need your mother's permission to close your own freaking door, especially with little kids on a rampage.
Just start locking your door, buy the safe, and stop requiring her approval for every move you ever make.
The only thing that stops me from doing some of these things is the fact that my mom is pretty crazy. One day I came home early and she screamed at me because I didn't give her a name of who gave me a ride to the train station. I didn't even have an attitude or smart remark with her like I normally do, yet she still looked like she wanted to kill me. In some strange way, I still feel like I need to depend on her at least for a place to live since I can't fully afford a place of my own. So I try to limit just how much I piss her off.