Don't Hate The Hater, Hate The Hate! - - - - - Part 17

[James]

I hate that SpideyVille hasn't moved out yet.

 

[steintym]

I hate when the urinals at work look like they need a shave ...

 

[The Squirrel]

I hate when Customer Service doesn't answer your one simple question.

 

[SpideyVille]

I hate that SpideyVille hasn't moved out yet.

At least I'm finally trying though. I told my mom I was saving to move out and she flipped out, saying I was too young and stuff.

 

[Duke]

It's her fault though because she doesn't treat you right.

 

[James]

At least I'm finally trying though. I told my mom I was saving to move out and she flipped out, saying I was too young and stuff.

To be clear, when I say I hate that you haven't moved out yet, I mean that in the most supportive way possible. I'm not blaming you, it's just blindingly obvious that living at home does your overall well-being no good at all and you need to get out. I don't even know you that well, but I've read so much about your plight at this point I'm absolutely rooting for you to break free. Come the day you post you've moved out, I will head over to the "What Made You Happy Today?" thread and joyfully post that you're new-found freedom has made my day.

 

[SpideyVille]

To be clear, when I say I hate that you haven't moved out yet, I mean that in the most supportive way possible. I'm not blaming you, it's just blindingly obvious that living at home does your overall well-being no good at all and you need to get out. I don't even know you that well, but I've read so much about your plight at this point I'm absolutely rooting for you to break free. Come the day you post you've moved out, I will head over to the "What Made You Happy Today?" thread and joyfully post that you're new-found freedom has made my day.

LOL, I didn't mean to make it sound like that. It's just that everyone would tell me that I need to move out, but I had no means. But now I have a job and can actually save to get out. The only problem now is that my family seems like they are trying to control what I do and how I spend my money. I'm starting to take steps towards being more independent, but they just seem like they want to hold me back and make me act more like them, so I've just been trying to stay away from them as much as I can, which is a challenge of its own since I work with my sister in law and she tells my brother about every little thing that I do or talk about at work.

 

[SpideyVille]

It's her fault though because she doesn't treat you right.

All I am asking for is some freedom and space to do what I need to do on my own. Like every morning its a battle because I'm in such a rush to get to work that I don't have time to clean my room completely, but she is such a neat freak that she starts cleaning it for me, and moves everything so that I can't find it when I get home. But then she goes and tells people that I think she's my maid, which is not the case at all. Like I said above, my family treats me like I'm dependent upon them for everything, even though I've been battling for some independence.

 

[nite-owl]

I hate the comment section on rotten tomatoes.

 

[coffeebreath]

I hate frozen toes.

 

[Scarecrow_King]

I hate when people complain about not getting trailers or promo materials for movie.

 

[Matt Mortem]

I hate when people complain about not getting trailers or promo materials for movie.

Speaking of, where the **** is my Avengers 2 trailer?????

 

[ComicChick]

All I am asking for is some freedom and space to do what I need to do on my own. Like every morning its a battle because I'm in such a rush to get to work that I don't have time to clean my room completely, but she is such a neat freak that she starts cleaning it for me, and moves everything so that I can't find it when I get home. But then she goes and tells people that I think she's my maid, which is not the case at all. Like I said above, my family treats me like I'm dependent upon them for everything, even though I've been battling for some independence.

get a lock for your door

 

[Anita18]

get a lock for your door

When I lived with an OCD housemate, everyone else got locks on their doors because they were convinced he was snooping in people's rooms.

I knew he wasn't snooping in mine, because I shed a lot of hair and I imagine he'd run screaming from the room seeing how "gray" my carpet was.

 

[Schlosser85]

To be clear, when I say I hate that you haven't moved out yet, I mean that in the most supportive way possible. I'm not blaming you, it's just blindingly obvious that living at home does your overall well-being no good at all and you need to get out. I don't even know you that well, but I've read so much about your plight at this point I'm absolutely rooting for you to break free. Come the day you post you've moved out, I will head over to the "What Made You Happy Today?" thread and joyfully post that you're new-found freedom has made my day.

I second this. They don't want you to move out because they don't want to lose their servant and whipping boy. Just my impression from following this entire saga.

 

[ComicChick]

i hate having to go and delete totally inappropriate comments from posters who post with their libidos smh

 

[Schlosser85]

i hate having to go and delete totally inappropriate comments from posters who post with their libidos smh

I knew I shouldn't have come on here after that last Bacardi...

 

[SpideyVille]

get a lock for your door

I'm not even allowed to close my door.

I told my mom that I was going to get a safe to put some of my stuff in so that my brother and his kids would stop touching things in my room while I'm at work and she flipped out saying I need to stop being like that them. Yet in the past two weeks, his kids have broken both their iPad mini and Kindle (for my niece, this was her third one in the last month, since she damaged the last two). So when I see this, I get really scared because I'm trying to make my stuff last as long as it can and that should be easy since I'm barely home now, but they don't seem to care because no one knows how to respect other people's stuff.

I second this. They don't want you to move out because they don't want to lose their servant and whipping boy. Just my impression from following this entire saga.

I feel like everyone expects me to be like my brother, since he was the one who had kids but was still living at home and still helped out my mom from time to time. I mean I know I was a momma's boy for a long time, but in the last few years I've been trying to get away from that and I keep getting mixed messages where I'm told to be a man, but I'm spoken to and treated like a child. I feel like they want me to act in both roles, but that's not helping me grow at all.

 

[Manic]

While you're still living at home, you might as well just start doing stuff without telling your mom (especially if you think it'd be for the best). For starters, if you think you need to keep your stuff in a safe so it doesn't get broken, just buy the freaking safe.

 

[SpideyVille]

While you're still living at home, you might as well just start doing stuff without telling your mom (especially if you think it'd be for the best). For starters, if you think you need to keep your stuff in a safe so it doesn't get broken, just buy the freaking safe.

That's actually a good point. I just realized that half of the stuff that I'm getting is trouble for is stuff that I haven't even done yet, or just ideas that I wasn't even planning on following.

 

[James]

I'm not even allowed to close my door.

Forgive the blaspheme folks, but Jesus Chriiiiiist! How old are you? You're not allowed you close your own bedroom door? Spidey, dude, that's not normal my friend. That is some Bates Motel/Red Dragon style mothering going on there. Now I don't have kids and don't like to judge the way parents do things, but there's a line where common sense kicks in regardless. Privacy is a basic human right.

Manic is right, you need to start just doing stuff. They want you to man up? Men make decisions and take action. Don't tell anyone, not even your friends. Start looking for a place, then secure a place, then when you're all set to go say "Hey, I'm moving out next week."

I told my mom that I was going to get a safe to put some of my stuff in so that my brother and his kids would stop touching things in my room while I'm at work and she flipped out saying I need to stop being like that them. Yet in the past two weeks, his kids have broken both their iPad mini and Kindle (for my niece, this was her third one in the last month, since she damaged the last two). So when I see this, I get really scared because I'm trying to make my stuff last as long as it can and that should be easy since I'm barely home now, but they don't seem to care because no one knows how to respect other people's stuff.

Again, I don't like to judge the way parents do things, but it's pretty obvious your brother's kids are never going to learn to respect other people's stuff if they can't first learn the value of their own things. Three Kindles in four weeks? I'm going to assume your niece requires a Kindle for her schooling or something, because if not that is pretty ridiculous. All she's learned so far is that if she breaks it, she gets a new one. Why would she expect it to be any different for anyone else?

 

[Schlosser85]

You're well past the age where you need your mother's permission to close your own freaking door, especially with little kids on a rampage.

Just start locking your door, buy the safe, and stop requiring her approval for every move you ever make.

 

[coffeebreath]

I hate breaking in new forums.

 

[SpideyVille]

Forgive the blaspheme folks, but Jesus Chriiiiiist! How old are you? You're not allowed you close your own bedroom door? Spidey, dude, that's not normal my friend. That is some Bates Motel/Red Dragon style mothering going on there. Now I don't have kids and don't like to judge the way parents do things, but there's a line where common sense kicks in regardless. Privacy is a basic human right.

Manic is right, you need to start just doing stuff. They want you to man up? Men make decisions and take action. Don't tell anyone, not even your friends. Start looking for a place, then secure a place, then when you're all set to go say "Hey, I'm moving out next week."

I'm 24

And I'm starting to see that my mom really has a problem with me keeping things private. Like on Friday, I paid the cell phone bill for her and realized that our new bill had just come in and that I racked in a large amount because I had been texting without a messaging plan. The person I had been texting was my brother's in law's on and off ex, and we had been keeping a lot of things secret because we know that the family would start talking and getting ideas if they knew that we had gotten so close in a time where she just kicked him out for the last time. We're just friends and there hasn't even been the slightest hint of something more from either of us, but I know that my family is going to talk. Not to mention, they all think she's crazy and don't like her to begin with. So knowing this, I told my mom upfront that I was going to take full responsibility for the bill and that I would pay for it myself, which was the new agreement that we had made anyway earlier in the week.

But when I woke up Saturday morning, I heard my mom on the phone with the phone company asking them if they could tell her who I was texting and stuff. The best way I could describe her conversation was like that of a wife who suspects her husband of cheating. That was the moment that I realized that I can't tell anything to anyone in my family, which is really hard because I work with my sister in law and she sees and hears stuff at work and relays the messages to my brother, who tells my mom. So I've already reached the point where I purposely avoid my brother when I'm home or on the weekends. I have a very limited amount of time to myself, compared to when I was home all the time, but for some reason, my family feels that my free time outside of work belongs to them and they really don't seem to want to let me get a life of my own.

Again, I don't like to judge the way parents do things, but it's pretty obvious your brother's kids are never going to learn to respect other people's stuff if they can't first learn the value of their own things. Three Kindles in four weeks? I'm going to assume your niece requires a Kindle for her schooling or something, because if not that is pretty ridiculous. All she's learned so far is that if she breaks it, she gets a new one. Why would she expect it to be any different for anyone else?

No, she has a Kindle simply because my brother didn't want the kids fighting over the iPad or the iPad mini anymore. From what I heard, they purposely didn't get insurance past the two week period that is provided because they wanted her to see that she needs to take care of it, but she has yet to make one last past two weeks. And its not like she's dropping it all the time either. One time it got messed up because she didn't to put a cup of BBQ sauce in her bag and it spilled all over the Kindle when she was walking home.

This is the exact reason why I told my mom I will not get her an iPad for her birthday today. Bad enough my niece took my mom's phone the other day and spent $50 on Candy Crush without even being punished or told of the consequences of her actions. But I know if my mom had an iPad, the kids would then move onto that and someone would break it and I would be expected to replace it like my brother does with his kids stuff.

You're well past the age where you need your mother's permission to close your own freaking door, especially with little kids on a rampage.

Just start locking your door, buy the safe, and stop requiring her approval for every move you ever make.

The only thing that stops me from doing some of these things is the fact that my mom is pretty crazy. One day I came home early and she screamed at me because I didn't give her a name of who gave me a ride to the train station. I didn't even have an attitude or smart remark with her like I normally do, yet she still looked like she wanted to kill me. In some strange way, I still feel like I need to depend on her at least for a place to live since I can't fully afford a place of my own. So I try to limit just how much I piss her off.

 

[James]

You're twenty four.

Good God man, get out! Get out now!

Okay, I can appreciate not being able to afford a place, but what if you get a roommate? Get on Craigslist (maybe use Private Browsing because it sounds like your mom probably checks your internet history) and start searching. Go meet some people, look at some places. If you find something all you'll need to do then is get all your crap out of your room and into the new place.