It's been bothering me for quite some time that what is considered "normal" behavior is putting people down for being different, whether it's because they aren't brainwashed Stepford people with their Enzyte Bob grins hiding festering inner turmoils ready to explode at any given moment at anyone or on a more tangibly physical level because someone doesn't fit an unrealistic mold of "skinniness".
I have tried to be a very respectful, nice person over the decades but as I get older I am finding it harder to deal with the backstabbers who act friendly in your presence but secretly hate your guts. They've always taken advantage of my sensitive nature and the more I'm being used to angrier I'm getting. My patience with people is wearing pretty thin because of all the rude, crude, crass, profane antics they're pulling on me. I especially hate it when people talk behind my back, saying nasty things thinking I don't hear them. And people wonder why I live in complete seclusion when all I've ever experienced from people is hostility. I mean when I laugh or smile it's genuine, not because someone told me I have to laugh or smile.
*sigh* I guess I just have to reconcile with the fact that I am personality wise too much like my maternal grandmother. How I act is exactly the way she was, friendly to those she trusted, mostly select blood kin, but apprehensive and mistrusting of other people. She also lived in relative seclusion never really preferring the chaos and fakery of human beings who don't give a crap about how you feel.