I agree with you considerably, though I have a bit of a different view on seeing Peter grow up and age, but to follow along with his audience is greedy; it's not nessicary.
From a writer's standpoint, I can understand wanted to make a character flawed, as have the perfect being would become obnoxious without some form of depth to go into. With that said, riddling a character with angst and constant problems that are "life-threatening" is just pathetic writing. I'm thinking about the last few arcs, and all I can come up with is to give Spider-man a vacation.
For Peter, I think the reason he's viewed as an "everyman" is perhaps how he got his power; by an accident. A kid who lived with his aunt and uncle got bit (albeit by a radioactive spider), and now has powers. To me, it has a certain appeal to it that says anyone can make something of themselves. It feels more down to earth than (in example) a meteor or just being born with the powers. Peter made his webbing, utliized his own power after learning a life lesson and started doing it for the greater good. No matter how it's written, I think that could still be extracted from it.
While I can understand finding similar traits to compare oneself to the character, totally relating to him could never happen, no matter what they put in there. For the medium that these particular comics are presented as, they are meant to be esacpe-fantasy, where you don't need to worry about all the swearing and graphic sex and violence, right? Brightly colored spandex wearing men going out and wielding supernatural abilities and tools at one another where in the end, the hero will be victorious; doesn't seem too realistic to me.
I think I'm thinking more outloud right now than anything, but at least I'm getting to see my thoughts actually outlined coherrently, and even better worded by other people.
Even if it's not even directed towards me (more of my age range, not me personally), it still breaks my heart to think that might be the truth. Everytime I hear something about backissues, I get the vibe that Marvel wants to make new readers feel dirty for reading them. "Here, have Ultimate! And this new twist on the origin! It's the fresh one, so you don't need to see that silly Essentials rag." I'm a stickler for art, and I do love looking through comics for artists that I enjoy, but I'd give that up for the old Lee-Ditko, Lee-Romita days in an instant. For all the gimicks, etc, I'd love to read just a solid one issue where it gets resolved and everything is back to psuedo-normal.