Gymrats & Stalkers: "I Was Assaulted In A Public Restroom"

[Lightning Strykez!]

But in order for either to work, he is going to have to pick one over the other. If he tries to balance both as an insurance policy for rejection, he will lose both of them.

That's what I'm afraid of. I've chosen Jason though. But I have a lot of loose ends to clean up with David. That relationship ended in such a weird way and I've never had true closure with it. To be frank, I don't think David has either.

Wanting to spend Christmas together after a week of (offcially) dating sounds needy. I wouldn't bring it up if he already made his own plans.

I needz! I neeeeeedz!!!!

Maybe eventually, after all is said and done and you've both had some time to be away and reflect, you can be friends with David. I'm friends with each of my ex's, and in one case it took a year for us to be friendly. I think it's worth it to be on good terms with your ex's [depending on the situation, I'm not saying this works for everyone....].

I agree with you. I really hope that we can have a platonic relationship in the future. I know some don't believe in that, but I think that after 11 years Dave and I could accomplish that. The only thing we'd have to subtract from it is the sexual relationship.

What also is gonna help things a bit is the fact that David is gonna be living in Los Angeles rather than here. I know that distance makes the heart grow fonder as they say, but I have Jason to invest my time and energies into now. I think that if David can fall in love with a guy or woman he likes he'll be able to move on too. He's an extremely handsome and sophisticated dude so I know that if he puts himself out on the market he won't be single long.

And I think I'm okay with that. I think...

But, in any case, Lightning, I am soooo happy for you! I hope everything goes well and you enjoy the new love feeling. Isn't it grand?

Thanks. And yes it is.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

I finally responded to David's text messages. I asked him if he had tried to get anyone else to pick him up? He said, No. Aren't you available? I said I might be, but it's a little short notice (even though it technically isn't--as he's coming in on Monday). So we started talking via text message and this is how it went. David's texts are in blue, mine are in red (also David is notorious for not punctuating his s***):

"Well I was hoping we could get a bite to eat and talk"

"About what?"

"Some things I need to talk about"

"You mean about the estate and clearing up assets right?"

"Maybe but got other things on mind"

"Like what?"

"Can I stay at the house for Mon and Tues? Staying with fam for the rest of visit. Help defray hotel costs"

"Since when are hotel costs a problem for you? LOL"

"Anyway, that wouldn't be a good idea David."

"How come"

"So we'd be talking as friends? There's something I need to tell you."

"What"

"I have been kicking it with someone lately. Dating someone and it's gotten serious."

Now up till this point the texting had been pretty rapid-fire as David is extremely adept at using his Blackberry. But after I sent the last message several minutes passed without a reply. Then he came back with this:

"Chick or dick?"

"Does it matter?"

More silence. Then a few minutes later:

"Is it a dude"

"What's important to know is that I can only meet you as a friend. Have no problem picking you up, but not interested in visiting memory lane. I have other plans."

"Is it a dude"

"*sigh*"

More silence passed at this point. A good 20 minutes this time, so I decided to text him back.

"Are you still there?"

"Nope"


"Huh?"

"Is your new friend staying at the house"

I typed up a response to this in the affirmative but decided to put in my drafts and not send it. For some reason I felt that it would bring the stalker-flava out of David, who I already know has serious jealousy issues--and the temper to go with it. So I just reverted the subject a bit:

"I can pick you up from the airport and take you to a Hotel, but you can't stay at the house."

"I want to take you both out to dinner lol"

"Will you introduce me to your friend"

"Why the hell would I do that? No."

"F*** it then. Just pick me up and dump me somewhere"

"I am happy for you Caliph"

"How long have you been dating this person"

Again, I changed the subject here....

"Send me your itinerary David so I know what time to pick you up."

"I have a meeting to get into now, so just e-mail it to me and I will catch up with you later, okay?"

"k"

So that's how it went down. It's pretty f***ed up. I really wasn't expecting to tip my hand and tell David so soon--and certainly not via some electronic, impersonal means like text messaging, but I felt that he needed to know right up front what was going on. The part about him wanting to take me AND Jason kinda threw me for a loop. I couldn't tell if he was being passive-aggressive, sarcastic or genuine.

I'll be honest here: I don't want to be alone for Christmas. Loneliness is like my Kryptonite. I mean, I could always get with some friends or hell, take myself out on the town and go bar and club hopping alone. But that sucks...especially when you have someone. But with Jason doing his thing on his own I was kinda looking forward to spending time with David's family. I do believe in platonic friendships and I think David and I could have one in the future. But now even that dinner invitiation might be off the table, now that David knows I'm no longer single.

Now, I feel obligated to tell Jason that my ex is coming to town. But I am hesitant to do so because the relationship is still so young and fragile. Why introduce an element of suspicion? After he saw the pic of Dave in the bathroom Jason later complimented me and said that I "know how to pick 'em". And he seemed to be genuinely fine with it. Both of these dudes are friggin adonises, and I've been lucky to be blessed with knowing them. But one is clearly in my past and one is definitely in the present (and hopefully the future).

Anyway. Jason is getting off the force early tonight so we can go see Avatar. We will likely get something to eat afterwards too, so I could let him know then. Or I could just opt to handle this with David on my own, sew up any loose ends with him and just move one with Jason with a clean slate.

*sigh*

Why must life be so complicated?

Wow, this sounds so much like that last scene from Swingers, Mikey is finally moving on and then the ex finally calls back. Follow in Mikey's footsteps LS, hang up on David and take Jason's call.

 

[PWN3R]

This is for the record. History is written by the victor. History is filled with liars. If he lives and we die, his truth becomes written - and ours is lost. Shepherd will be a hero. Cause all you need to change the world is one good lie and a river of blood. He's about to complete the greatest trick a liar ever playe...d on history. His truth will be the truth. But only if he lives, and we die.

This is why I love Darthphere. Who else here would even think to quote Captain Price in this thread? No one.

I you, man.

 

[amazingfantasy15]

That's what I'm afraid of. I've chosen Jason though. But I have a lot of loose ends to clean up with David. That relationship ended in such a weird way and I've never had true closure with it. To be frank, I don't think David has either.

I say next week, get that closure then. Tell Jason you will be meeting him, but it's to finish up dividing the assests or estate, all that stuff. You need to unload this baggage you're bringing into the new relationship, otherwise it's doomed already. Don't spend Christmas with David's family, but do talk to him, clear the air, get everything out, say you want to remain friends, but right now you can't, you need to work on this new relationship and him, as an ex, can't be in the picture right now.

 

[mrvlknight21]

So that's how it went down. It's pretty f***ed up. I really wasn't expecting to tip my hand and tell David so soon--and certainly not via some electronic, impersonal means like text messaging, but I felt that he needed to know right up front what was going on. The part about him wanting to take me AND Jason kinda threw me for a loop. I couldn't tell if he was being passive-aggressive, sarcastic or genuine.

I'll be honest here: I don't want to be alone for Christmas. Loneliness is like my Kryptonite. I mean, I could always get with some friends or hell, take myself out on the town and go bar and club hopping alone. But that sucks...especially when you have someone. But with Jason doing his thing on his own I was kinda looking forward to spending time with David's family. I do believe in platonic friendships and I think David and I could have one in the future. But now even that dinner invitiation might be off the table, now that David knows I'm no longer single.

Now, I feel obligated to tell Jason that my ex is coming to town. But I am hesitant to do so because the relationship is still so young and fragile. Why introduce an element of suspicion? After he saw the pic of Dave in the bathroom Jason later complimented me and said that I "know how to pick 'em". And he seemed to be genuinely fine with it. Both of these dudes are friggin adonises, and I've been lucky to be blessed with knowing them. But one is clearly in my past and one is definitely in the present (and hopefully the future).

Anyway. Jason is getting off the force early tonight so we can go see Avatar. We will likely get something to eat afterwards too, so I could let him know then. Or I could just opt to handle this with David on my own, sew up any loose ends with him and just move one with Jason with a clean slate.

*sigh*

Why must life be so complicated?

I think you handled the text situation very well. You stayed firm, but still offered to assist him with the ride from airport. I was pretty proud of you on that one ....then you mentioned Avatar again!

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Havent commented in thread before but I would agree with this. Unless you just wanted to go out to your own personal christmas dinner with him or something. Besides that it just seems way too fast, especially for a dude thats still struggling with his identity and feelings.

Maybe b/c you were in a LT relationship for so long its normal for you that two people involved with each other should be spending christmas together, but this guy is a confused bachelor who just started dating you a week or so ago. He's not used to approaching relationships with men the way you would with women. "What are your plans?" is something I say to one of my buddies when they ask me what my christmas plans are, and in some ways he's probably still looking at you as one of his guy friends and not as his partner.

Good points. And I agree that it's a bit too soon for Jason. I'm a spoiled beeyotch.

While I agree going back to Spazzed-out-David is not a smart move, I wouldn't say dating multiple people is a bad thing. As long as you are front about it right off the bat. It's called spinning plates

LOL Are you being serious or facetious here?

Indeed, trying to stay friends with that serious of an ex is bad news. It will complicate emotions and likely be upsetting for the new man, too.

Yeah. I think so too. That's why I told him that I wouldn't be interested in going out to dinner or anything like that. But picking him up from the airport might not be too bad. After all, it's just a ride down the express way.

I just want to know what it is you do for a living. You stay out late any night you want, mod on here a good bit, make time to workout, have 3 houses (apparently they arent small, either) etc etc etc

I told you already. I'm an exotic male dancer that tea-bags people for a living. It pays great. And my porno-riffic code name is Black Lightning Bolt.









Jokes aside, I'm a marketing executive for an architectual design firm. It was my second career after I retired from firefighting. And just to clarify, I only own one of the cribs 100%. The other two I co-own with David. While I'm not broke, it is David that has the real full-grown pockets around here. We built a lot together over the last decade--even literally.

 

[mrvlknight21]

I say next week, get that closure then. Tell Jason you will be meeting him, but it's to finish up dividing the assests or estate, all that stuff. You need to unload this baggage you're bringing into the new relationship, otherwise it's doomed already. Don't spend Christmas with David's family, but do talk to him, clear the air, get everything out, say you want to remain friends, but right now you can't, you need to work on this new relationship and him, as an ex, can't be in the picture right now.

Pretty good advice here imo.

 

[mrvlknight21]

I told you already. I'm an exotic male dancer that tea-bags people for a living. It pays great. And my porno-riffic code name is Black Lightning Bolt.






Jokes aside, I'm a sales/marketing executive for an architectual design firm. It was my second career after I retired from firefighting. And just to clarify, I only own one of the cribs 100%. The other two I co-own with David.

LOL!

Interesting field of work. Regardless, you apparently have some $$$$. Congrats on the successful career (see, even with the drama, you cant complain about everything!)

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

I say next week, get that closure then. Tell Jason you will be meeting him, but it's to finish up dividing the assests or estate, all that stuff. You need to unload this baggage you're bringing into the new relationship, otherwise it's doomed already. Don't spend Christmas with David's family, but do talk to him, clear the air, get everything out, say you want to remain friends, but right now you can't, you need to work on this new relationship and him, as an ex, can't be in the picture right now.

Yeah, but this is all easier said than done. I would really feel bad about not having Christmas with his family. Not just because the food and the folks are great but...it's been my tradition for so long now. They accepted me and took me in and kinda adopted me as their son when my own family disowned me.

But I guess that shows it really is ovah...

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

muhaaahahahahaha

Holy s***! That's exactly what I need to do.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

LOL!

Interesting field of work. Regardless, you apparently have some $$$$. Congrats on the successful career (see, even with the drama, you cant complain about everything!)

I'd give it all up for some peace of mind right about now.

This is my new theme song for this quarter. It fits what I'm going through to a tee I think....

[YT]<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C5qv1METBzM&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C5qv1METBzM&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>[/YT]

When I get behind closed doors I am always on my knees...

 

[amazingfantasy15]

Yeah, but this is all easier said than done. I would really feel bad about not having Christmas with his family. Not just because the food and the folks are great but...it's been my tradition for so long now. They accepted me and took me in and kinda adopted me as their son when my own family disowned me.

But I guess that shows it really is ovah...

Well, you were able to have "the talk" with Jason over the weekend. Just summon that courage up once again with David.

 

[Marx]

I think you handled the texting situation with David very well man.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Well, you were able to have "the talk" with Jason over the weekend. Just summon that courage up once again with David.

I am not so worried about telling David. After all, he broke things off with me so the ball is in my corner anyway. But what I am wrestling with the most is whether I should even bother to tell Jason that Dave is coming. There are pluses and minues to informing him.

 

[Marx]

I am not so worried about telling David. After all, he broke things off with me so the ball is in my corner anyway. But what I am wrestling with the most is whether I should even bother to tell Jason that Dave is coming. There are pluses and minues to informing him.

You could always tell Jason that you are just finishing up loose ends and he has nothing to worry about. It seems like you've made the decision to pursue Jason wholeheartedly. He should know that he has nothing to worry about by your meeting David.

 

[mrvlknight21]

I am not so worried about telling David. After all, he broke things off with me so the ball is in my corner anyway. But what I am wrestling with the most is whether I should even bother to tell Jason that Dave is coming. There are pluses and minues to informing him.

Full disclosure is best imo. If you dont tell him and SOMEHOW he finds out that you guys met, he will wonder why you didnt tell him. It is a small world after all.

Im sure you probably knew that this was my stance on it, though.

 

[piccolo]

I am not so worried about telling David. After all, he broke things off with me so the ball is in my corner anyway. But what I am wrestling with the most is whether I should even bother to tell Jason that Dave is coming. There are pluses and minues to informing him.

I wouldn't. If you were in a committed relationship it would be appropriate but this isn't something he needs to know unless its going to directly affect him. If you meet up with David, and anything happens, then he needs to know. Until then no IMO. As of right now you're just picking him up, Jason doesn't need to know about it anytime one of your exes is within 50 square miles of you. He probably doesn't want to know. Not unless you go back to him or something. Remember, this guy is still in the infantile stage of adopting a gay identity, let alone being in a relationship and embracing all of the relationship add-in's that come with it.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

I wouldn't. If you were in a committed relationship it would be appropriate but this isn't something he needs to know unless its going to directly affect him. If you meet up with David, and anything happens, then he needs to know. Until then no IMO. As of right now you're just picking him up, Jason doesn't need to know about it anytime one of your exes is within 50 square miles of you. He probably doesn't want to know. Not unless you go back to him or something. Remember, this guy is still in the infantile stage of adopting a gay identity, let alone being in a relationship and embracing all of the relationship add-in's that come with it.

Well, to an extent Jason and I are in a committed relationship. I mean, it's still fresh and new but it's committed nonetheless. But I understand what you're saying: news of Hurricane David hitting our coasts would only damage our levy, not build it up. Although I do think Jason would want to know. I just feel kinda underhanded in keeping this away from him.

 

[highguard]

I don't know what to say, lightning, I read the first post and then kept reading but I knew from the first what was coming, I knew what you wanted to share. And I know that it was very important for you to share this with your Hype buddies. I appreciate that dude, I really do.

As a human being I understand that male and female identity is not fixed in the modern world, as a member of this generation I understand and am affected by all of this.

We are all in this boat together LS, on a journey that will take us to God only Knows where we all will be.

I respect you a great deal, and you have been a person of the utmost integrity on these boards and the courage or determination it took to reveal yourself like this on these boards only adds to your legendary status here. You did not have to share any of this with us.

My embrace of you as a human being cannot be changed by anything like this because I know that the the human condition is one of struggle and self realization, and who among us is perfected.

However I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and ultimately I know that his identity is the one that is supreme.

Everything else is a shadow and I know lightning that you are aware of his thoughts on these matters.

There is nothing new under the sun. We know what we need to Know.

I can only say, may the Lord find and keep you, may the Lord shine his light upon you. May you find your way in this life to the identity that is found in Christ.

It is however your life man.

I had to say that, because as you know Lightning we also are duty bound to be true to the truth and the truth prevails even when we human beings fall short, as you have been true, which took great courage on your part.

We are duty bound to share with others what is in the core of our hearts. You have surely done what must have been really hard, while it has been easy for me to say what I said.

Nevertheless I have said what I said because I care, because I know that He cared about people and we are duty bound to care for our brothers and sisters.

You are something else LS, .... this thread was crazy dude....... crazy, lol.

Ummmm............

Now when are you gonna resurrect our Fantastic Four Forum and get Fox to push ahead on the new movie.

Words have failed me, off to go get a workout.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Thank you for the inspirational words Highguard. And the kind ones too. Perhaps God will one day "fix" me as you've suggested.

 

[Captain Planet!]

I could read this thread all day.

 

[Paradoxium]

LS needs a blog

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Dox,

I was giving some thought to your recommendation from a couple of days ago. I'm actually considering renaming the thread to "I Was Assaulted In A Public Restroom" (And Other LS Misadventures). What do you think?

 

[imaperson2]

ayayay, you are going out with the cop now? Damn I need to catch up on the 30 pages!

 

[AndThePickles]

LS, the way you handled the text situation was great It's hard dealing with situations like that!

In terms of meeting up with David and telling Jason- if you are truly starting a serious relationship with this man, I think you owe it to him to be honest with him about your ex. If meeting with David will feel like sneaking, then you should tell Jason. If it won't, then perhaps you don't need to tell him.

However, I think that Jason would like to know. It's important for him to know that you've really made a clean cut with David, and I think he'd respect you for telling him.