Gymrats & Stalkers: "I Was Assaulted In A Public Restroom"

[amazingfantasy15]

David has lost all trust, so screw him if he gets his feelings hurt over you bringing a lawyer to this. Damn right you don't trust him, dude is stalking you and Jason. There is nothing to trust about David, and your dealings with him from this point on are strictly business. Get this crap taken care of and get him out of your life for good, via any means necessary.

100% totally agree, F David.

 

[AndThePickles]

Agreed!!! Get a lawyer.

 

[Boom]

I'll chime in on a few things.

First and foremost, get a lawyer to act on your behalf when it comes to dealing with the financial assets (i.e. the house). Especially if David is really that cunning of a lawyer, it'd be wise to have one of your own to make sure you don't get royally screwed over. And when it comes to signing the appropriate documents, make sure that a third party is there. You are not obligated to have to meet with him one and one.

And secondly, I don't know how involved Jason is in this whole affair, but I'd advise him to be careful. All it takes is to prove he is too emotionally invested in this case and the whole thing gets blown wide open.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

And secondly, I don't know how involved Jason is in this whole affair, but I'd advise him to be careful. All it takes is to prove he is too emotionally invested in this case and the whole thing gets blown wide open.

Well, if Jason were to accompany me to any meetings with David he'd be doing so as my significant other, not as a law enforcement agent. Jase has already told me that he's too close to this situation for him to be objective and unbiased any further. The only thing he wants to do right now is bash Dave's skull in and we're not having that obviously.

I think I am graying over this situation.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

I agree, you need to get a lawyer involved if it's at all possible. Even if you still have to meet David in person, it should be with a lawyer.

As far as David snapping goes, it seems like he's already done that. I don't know if he can really snap any further. The point? You need to get this guy out of your life as soon as possible, but as long as you have these financial ties to him, you're going to be tied to him.

You need to get this **** taken care of once and for all. Then you can take the action needed to get him out of your life for good, whether that's filing charges against him, or doing something like you and Jason moving to a new location (if that's at all possible - I'm not necesarily saying that's what you need to do, just putting it out there as an example).

David has lost all trust, so screw him if he gets his feelings hurt over you bringing a lawyer to this. Damn right you don't trust him, dude is stalking you and Jason. There is nothing to trust about David, and your dealings with him from this point on are strictly business. Get this crap taken care of and get him out of your life for good, via any means necessary.

I think some of you guys may be misunderstanding why I am so leery about getting a lawyer against David. When I say I don't want to antagonize him part of that includes enlisting a lawyer, because doing so would "out" David in a professional circle that he's very prominent in.

Here's the deal: In order for the lawyer to effectively assist me in clearing all of this up he/she would have to be told the specifics of our past relationship. Since David has kept his sexual orientation a secret for all of these years, to get a third party involved in our domestic affairs would piss him off in ways I don't think any of us can imagine right now. This stalker/obsession stage would escalate to revenge and rage...

And it'd give him one more reason to want to kill me.

Now, there is one lawyer that I would consider hiring, and she's actually one of David's worst enemies in the courtroom. Red-headed hottie with the sexiest set of calves I’ve ever seen on a woman. Over the years he's lost cases to her because she's just that good. I've seen her closing arguments and she's like...a goddess in front of those judges. LOL There's a bit of a bitter rivalry between the two of them and I'm sure that she'd feel my pain and be willing to help me fight against David. But to do so, again she'd have to get in our personal mix...

Lawyers are part of a very tightly-knit community where gossip abounds. Dave has been very successful in his profession because he is ruthless. Therefore he has a lot of enemies out there who would love to take him down. If word got out that he's going through a nasty split with his secret ex-boyfriend of the last decade, it would hit the legal community here like a shockwave.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Edit--fricking double post.

 

[Hotwire]

LS, Form what I've read you sound like a battered woman who keeps going back. I know this is a harsh comparison, but you have to understand that you are trying to protect this guy. He's the one acting like a lunatic, you have ways to protect yourself, which you should, and you seem more concerned with upsetting him. I could be wrong, I hope I am. But you really need to take action or this guy is not, I repeat, NOT going to stop.

Also curious why you still live in the place that is co-owned by you and David? It seems to me, since you two are no longer together, one of you would become sole owner of the home, or sell it and split the money.

If I were you, I'd move to somewhere David can't hold a mortgage over you. Then I'd hire a PI to get evidence that he's stalking you and could mean to do you and Jason harm. Then I'd slap him with a restraining order. If the dude still won't stop, then you can have his psycho ass arrested. And we all know how well an arrest record looks for a lawyer.

 

[Boom]

When I say I don't want to antagonize him part of that includes enlisting a lawyer, because doing so would "out" David in a professional circle that he's very prominent in.

But how is this your fault? It's because of HIS actions that this is happening. He backed you into a corner where you have no other alternative. It's his own problem.

At the end of the day, as Mal said, you have to look out for YOU. You can't act according to what may or may not upset this guy.

 

[Watson]

I think some of you guys may be misunderstanding why I am so leery about getting a lawyer against David. When I say I don't want to antagonize him part of that includes enlisting a lawyer, because doing so would "out" David in a professional circle that he's very prominent in.

Here's the deal: In order for the lawyer to effectively assist me in clearing all of this up he/she would have to be told the specifics of our past relationship. Since David has kept his sexual orientation a secret for all of these years, to get a third party involved in our domestic affairs would piss him off in ways I don't think any of us can imagine right now. This stalker/obsession stage would escalate to revenge and rage...

And it'd give him one more reason to want to kill me.

Now, there is one lawyer that I would consider hiring, and she's actually one of David's worst enemies in the courtroom. Red-headed hottie with the sexiest set of calves I’ve ever seen on a woman. Over the years he's lost cases to her because she's just that good. I've seen her closing arguments and she's like...a goddess in front of those judges. LOL There's a bit of a bitter rivalry between the two of them and I'm sure that she'd feel my pain and be willing to help me fight against David. But to do so, again she'd have to get in our personal mix...

Lawyers are part of a very tightly-knit community where gossip abounds. Dave has been very successful in his profession because he is ruthless. Therefore he has a lot of enemies out there who would love to take him down. If word got out that he's going through a nasty split with his secret ex-boyfriend of the last decade, it would hit the legal community here like a shockwave.

It is true that lawyers chat. BUT a lawyer's primary concern is with their client. If a lawyer is spilling details about their case prior to it hitting the courtroom, then they can get in huge crap with their professional association, to the point of loosing their license. Besides if you need a lawyer to simply split assets and whatnot, you may never need to see the inside of a courtroom. Most family matters can be settled with an arbitrator or something similar. Besides, if your ex is so concerned with his image, he will probably be more willing to go for an out of court settlement or something more private.

Find a lawyer you trust to be discrete and one who specializes in family law/divorce law. Make it very clear to them that they need to be discrete as possible. Don't get one just to spite your ex either. I don't know what area of law your ex or this other woman specialize in, but no matter how ace they are in court if they don't know the area of law you need they aren't worth anything for you.

You can also discuss with the lawyer David's actions. They may be able to recommend a course of action that can get him to back off a bit.

 

[Paradoxium]

You need to stay a few steps ahead of him instead of being reactive.

 

[AndThePickles]

If David wanted his secrets kept, maybe he shouldn't have started antagonizing you and stalking you to the point where you have no choice but to take legal action. If anything negative happens to him, I've gotta say, he's more than earned it at this point.

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

If David wanted his secrets kept, maybe he shouldn't have started antagonizing you and stalking you to the point where you have no choice but to take legal action. If anything negative happens to him, I've gotta say, he's more than earned it at this point.

But how is this your fault? It's because of HIS actions that this is happening. He backed you into a corner where you have no other alternative. It's his own problem.

At the end of the day, as Mal said, you have to look out for YOU. You can't act according to what may or may not upset this guy.

I agree with Boom and Pickles.

David's secrets became no longer your priority after he decided to stalk you, and allegedly hire thugs to vandalize your car.

David has created a situation where you cannot deal business with him face to face anymore. David created the situation where a 3rd party needs to be involved - for your safety and the safety of your partner. David forced your hand.

I understand how he might be upset over the accident, and things that have gone down, but the way he is acting is no way to deal with the situation. He is completely out of line, and that's putting it extremely mildly.

You need David out of your life for good - not just because you've found a new partner and you need to move on, but because he is now truly a threat to you and Jason, physically, mentally, emotionally, financially...

You need to get this business taken care of, and David has chosen a path that doesn't allow for you to get things taken care of civilly face to face. He chose his path, Caliph, and now you and Jason need to do the same, which means getting David out of your lives once and for all.

 

[Darthphere]

Lawyer, arbitrator, restraining order. In that order.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

This is all incredibly depressing. Words can't even express.

 

[Darthphere]

Want me to...hold you?

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

LS, Form what I've read you sound like a battered woman who keeps going back. I know this is a harsh comparison, but you have to understand that you are trying to protect this guy. He's the one acting like a lunatic, you have ways to protect yourself, which you should, and you seem more concerned with upsetting him. I could be wrong, I hope I am. But you really need to take action or this guy is not, I repeat, NOT going to stop.

LOL @ Battered woman. Wowz.

I am not trying to protect him. I'm trying to protect me and mine. Dealing with David right now is like walking in a mine field. He's already shown signs of psycho-ness and I don't need him coming after Jase, my friends or loved ones. He's vindictive enough to do it, and I'm trying to stave off that possibility by dealing with him with kid gloves.

Jason agrees with all of you who posted in these last couple pages. He totally thinks I should drop the hammer on Dave, get a private investigator and play fire with fire. And right now he's actually pissed at me because he gave me a biz card of a P.I. he personally knows well, and I turned it down.

Am I in denial? Perhaps. I'm sure there's a percentage of me that still is because all of this is happening so quickly and it's so unbelievably f***ed up on so many levels. There is no real closure to the relationship I've had for the last decade of my life. I know there is no going back at this point to get David back from the mental Phantom Zone he's put himself in.

I know it all sounds sappy, but those are the thinking patterns I'm still struggling with. Just this morning I told Jase some of these things and he was like, "Snap the f*** out of it already!"

Dude is so dayum impatient.

Also curious why you still live in the place that is co-owned by you and David? It seems to me, since you two are no longer together, one of you would become sole owner of the home, or sell it and split the money.

I am living with Jase now. We are shopping for a new loft or brownstone for me. I want to land something quickly so I can get all of my s*** out of the penthouse I have with David before he sets fire to it or something worse.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Want me to...hold you?

Will you hold me...like you did by the lake on Naboo?

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

It is true that lawyers chat. BUT a lawyer's primary concern is with their client. If a lawyer is spilling details about their case prior to it hitting the courtroom, then they can get in huge crap with their professional association, to the point of loosing their license. Besides if you need a lawyer to simply split assets and whatnot, you may never need to see the inside of a courtroom.

That's an excellent point. Thanks for bringing that up; it actually laid some of my concerns to rest. It's possible that David is not even stressing about being outed due to the confidentiality clauses you've mentioned.

Most family matters can be settled with an arbitrator or something similar. Besides, if your ex is so concerned with his image, he will probably be more willing to go for an out of court settlement or something more private.

Dave's made it clear that he wants to settle everything out of court--and specifically one-on-one with me. I'm sure part of that has to do with concerns over his personal image.

Find a lawyer you trust to be discrete and one who specializes in family law/divorce law. Make it very clear to them that they need to be discrete as possible. Don't get one just to spite your ex either. I don't know what area of law your ex or this other woman specialize in, but no matter how ace they are in court if they don't know the area of law you need they aren't worth anything for you.

David started out specializing in criminal law, but he does other stuff nowadays, like corporation fraud, dealing with the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Corporation), et al. He doesn't get into divorce/family law. Not sure if Racquel gets into divorce stuff either.

 

[Marx]

I don't think one on one should be an option.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

He chose his path, Caliph, and now you and Jason need to do the same, which means getting David out of your lives once and for all.

Are you quoting Storm and Wolverine's conversation about Jean from X-Men: The Last Stand?

"She made her choice. Let her die."

 

[Watson]

^I would find a firm that makes family law their primary practice area. A good family lawyer knows how to handle delicate matters like this and get you what's fair.

I really hope this all works out for you LS. What a craptastic situation.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

I don't think one on one should be an option.

Trust me, it's not. At the very least, it'd be two on one.

I dunno. I have not replied to Dave's texts yet. Part of me is still leaning towards meeting him for dinner in a public place with Jason at a restaurant. Jason is against it but he said he'd be willing to do it if I insist. Look, I know it sounds crazy but if he's gonna do something dangerous (i.e. shoot us) there he'd do the same thing if we were meeting with lawyers in tow at an office. It really doesn't make a difference. Violence can happen anywhere. The key in my opinion is for the three of us to never be alone together.

Dave will be in town until Monday morning. At this stage he "says" he wants to apologize to both of us and make peace and amends. Perhaps his willingness to do that might smooth things over for the bumpy legal road ahead?

Perhaps I'm hopelessly naive.

 

[Marx]

Trust me, it's not. At the very least, it'd be two on one.

I dunno. I have not replied to Dave's texts yet. Part of me is still leaning towards meeting him for dinner in a public place with Jason at a restaurant. Jason is against it but he said he'd be willing to do it if I insist. Look, I know it sounds crazy but if he's gonna do something dangerous (i.e. shoot us) there he'd do the same thing if we were meeting with lawyers in tow at an office. It really doesn't make a difference. Violence can happen anywhere. The key in my opinion is for the three of us to never be alone together.

Dave will be in town until Monday morning. At this stage he "says" he wants to apologize to both of us and make peace and amends. Perhaps his willingness to do that might smooth things over for the bumpy legal road ahead?

Perhaps I'm hopelessly naive.

Call me a skeptic...but I wouldn't buy ANY apology that he could offer. It's probably an attempt to catch you with your guard down.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

Call me a skeptic...but I wouldn't buy ANY apology that he could offer. It's probably an attempt to catch you with your guard down.

If we do it at all, Jase and I will definitely be going in with our game faces on. Guards will be up 100% because I know what I'm dealing with here. And Jason said he would be in uniform--and armed--which will naturally keep the eyes of other dining customers on us, and further discourage Dave from acting a fool.

 

[Boom]

Will you hold me...like you did by the lake on Naboo?

This thread is officially ruined.

LMAO Jesus Christ.